Chapter 25.5: Anxiety Redux

  A Little Earlier

  “Oh my. Those clouds… Well, child, we had best prepare for rain, shouldn’t we?”

  Just as the Marketplace Square, with all its red brick and fancy fountains, is about to come into view, Euniline— apparently having decided that trying to keep up with the boys was more effort than it’s worth— walks next to Gloria and tries to strike up a conversation. Gloria knows it’s just an innocuous attempt at small talk, but to her it’s a worst-case scenario. Alarm bells go off in her head as she pulls her oversize robe tighter over herself and checks to make sure the hood still covers her face. ‘What do I do?’

  Euniline, despite Gloria’s lack of response, laughs a little and gestures at her and Gloria’s thick gray healer’s robes.

  “Well, it’s a good thing we’re both prepared for the weather, aren’t we? Though as fabric they’ll get soaked eventually, they’re pretty resistant to rain in the short term, aren’t they?”

  “...”

  “Oh, but wait. You aren’t actually an adventurer, much less a healer, are you? Mind if I ask how you got one of our robes?”

  Gloria twitches, before settling down slightly. And still, she remains silent.

  “Well, I don’t really mind. Speaking of preparing for the weather— that little leader of ours, isn’t he dressed most inappropriately for a task like commanding a task force? I've seen some pretty eccentric fellows back in my heyday, but this has to take the cake. It’s quite strange that he would walk around in only his underwear, is it not?”

  “...!!”

  A glance down the road proves Euniline right. Though Gloria hadn’t properly taken note of it at first— in no small part due to her accumulated insomnia and fatigue— it seems that Diegi had somehow found a way to discard the new outfit she’d given him. After a bit of thought, she supposes it makes sense she'd be slow to notice; Diegi had been— well, doing his best impression of a male swimwear model, to put it nicely— throughout most of the first monster encounter and and when they’d met again near Paxdom, after all. It’s not that she wanted to become accustomed to such a sight; it’s just that her brain, presented with a nonsensically sudden divergence from her day-to-day life, simply adapted to Diegi’s risqué look through repeated exposure. Even when it probably shouldn’t. No, especially when it probably shouldn’t.

  She doesn’t know whether to feel offended or relieved that he’d lost the clothes so quickly; it isn’t as if she’d expected Diegi to return them, and to be frank, the world would probably be better off without those rags anyways. In fact, the birthday suit almost suited a clown like him… almost. In all honesty, when she’d been strong-armed into helping the intrepid boy enter Paxdom, she’d given him old spare clothing that she had been planning to get rid of anyways as a kind of under-the-table punishment for his rudeness. Though, she’d regretted the action as soon as she’d taken it— especially when she recalled that she’d forgotten to perform a basic cleanliness check on the garments. Now, she quickly tries to console herself with the thought that, at the very least, it wasn’t like her spare clothes had harbored dirt and fleas. Probably…

  Up ahead, Diegi appears to hold in a sneeze, before briefly scratching his side, shaking his head, and continuing to walk.

  …They hadn’t, right? Right?? Oh goodness, what would she do if he fell ill now, when he’d actually decided to do something useful for the city? It would all be her fault, like always. If only she—

  “You seem surprised, child. Did you really not notice he didn’t have much on? I’d say a kid walking around nearly naked is a pretty big eye catcher, if you asked me.”

  Before Gloria can work herself into another self-destructive spiral, Euniline comes to her rescue with a well-timed quip. Though, it’s kind of the conversational equivalent of tipping a seesaw; now, instead of worrying about Diegi’s health, Gloria’s back to worrying about how to deal with talking to Euniline. Back and forth, tipping back and forth, her poor overworked brain just can’t catch a break.

  But still, she can’t just say nothing forever. If she speaks quietly and doesn't say much, no one would be able to tell that she... well, she wouldn't be recognized, or so she hopes. Gloria decides to modify her voice and give a barebones response.

  “Um… yes, I failed to notice… um, I suppose I just became familiar with seeing Sir like that…”

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  “WHAT?! Oh, um, I mean— good for you!”

  “H- huh?”

  Gloria can’t help but jump a little when Euniline stops walking and stares down the street with a flabbergasted expression. From what Gloria can see, the old healer’s even… is she blushing slightly? But why would she be?

  “Ah, I see. You call him sir, and you’re used to seeing him naked… oh! Well… I was wondering why he brought you along, so I suppose it makes sense if… Ah, er… that’s my fault for asking, child. I really wasn’t trying to pry into your personal life…”

  Only then does Gloria understand. And she really, really wishes she didn’t.

  “N– no! Not like that, not like that! M- my father always taught me to be polite, and I-”

  "Mmm hmm. Er... yes, child, whatever you say."

  No matter how Gloria shrieks and flails, Euniline won't quit slightly averting her eyes with that frustrating knowing glint lingering in her eye. It's hopeless, so Gloria just drops her arms and slumps as far as she can without falling over. Her and her big mouth, unable to do anything right as per usual. Of course she can't even express a simple thought without causing others to misinterpret her, what else did she expect from a failure like herself? She knew she should have just stayed silent from the start.

  She pulls the hood even tighter over her curls and tries to shrink into the pavement as she walks, resolved to never speak again for ten years at least. But for whatever reason, Euniline just won’t stop trying to make conversation with her, no matter how many times Gloria declines to respond. Minutes pass, but to Gloria each second feels like an eternity. She can hear her heart beating in her ears, and her blood rushing through her head- why won't the woman just leave her alone?

  Eventually, however, the healer sighs and does just that. Placing a hand on her chin, Euniline casts an exasperated look upwards.

  “Hmm? Not much of a talker, are you? Shy? Or just secretive? Not that it makes much difference to me, ha ha! If you’d like, I could just skip the small talk and introduce myself first.”

  Gloria, not wanting to further reveal her voice to an Adventurer— even a retired one— simply shakes her head to refuse. Even beyond the secret-keeping, she’s already well aware of who Euniline is, so it’s not like she needs an introduction in the first place. But either because the older woman doesn’t see it or because she’s simply stubborn in the way wizened people sometimes are, Euniline begins introducing herself anyways.

  “My name’s Euniline Inenormi. I’ve lived in Paxdom ever since I retired from Adventuring… phew, that was over two decades ago! Time flies, doesn’t it? I was never the greatest Adventurer, but golly was it fun! At the time, I thought quitting was a terrible shame, but looking back, it was the best decision I ever made. Life’s about more’n just glory and riches, right?”

  Gloria doesn’t respond. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that she can’t respond— clapping a palm over her mouth, she won’t let herself. After hearing Euniline’s introduction— she’s frozen up, and her teeth have even started chattering slightly. She can’t focus her eyes, and her breathing has quickened as well. She knows that Euniline couldn’t possibly know, but she still— ‘What do I do?’

  Euniline runs a hand through her long hair and sighs.

  “You’re really not feeling up to a chat, huh? Well, that’s alright. I’ll back off, child.”

  But just before Euniline fully walks away and disengages— Gloria can’t hold herself back anymore and finally prepares to form a proper conversational statement. Taking care to keep her voice modified, she forces her trembling lips open and asks what’s been on her mind for a long, long time:

  “U- um… Miss, if you don’t mind me asking… why did you keep practicing magic, even after quitting the Adventurers? I can tell that your mana capacity isn’t that degraded, even after years of disuse. I mean, you even responded to the emergency alarm… despite not having any obligation to… it’s amazing…!”

  At that, for the first time in the conversation— no, for the first time that Gloria’s ever seen— Euniline looks dumbfounded. She blinks slowly, once, twice, thrice, and then fixes her gaze on Gloria’s hood. Euniline can’t see through it, Gloria knows she can’t see through it, but somehow Gloria still feels those turquoise eyes boring into her own.

  “…Amazing? No, no, no. Child, heavens no! You’re thinking about it all wrong.”

  Euniline puts a hand on her chest before she continues, making sure to craft her words as carefully as she can.

  “I told you, I live in Paxdom. I’ve got myself the best hubby in the world, and three beautiful children. They’re all huddled right now in a protection center, probably fearing for their lives— and probably fearing for my life as well. And even still, you ask me why I’m still practicing my magic? Why I responded to the emergency call? Don’t you understand?”

  Gloria can’t. She can’t understand. ‘You said it yourself… you said you moved on from chasing the glory and the riches! And the fame, and the pressure, and the danger, and the fun, so why? So why, I don’t understand… why didn’t you just give up… you said you weren’t even that talented in the first place, so why didn’t you let your talent dwindle to nothing…?’

  Her thoughts whirl, and she can’t understand— but she desperately wants to know. But just before she can summon up the courage to ask:

  *BO– BOOOOOOMMM*

  *WHAM!*

  Thunder cracks, rain descends, and a little ways ahead, a certain underwear-clad boy slips and falls. Wanna guess who?

  “Oh! Oh dear! I’m sorry, child, we’ll have to continue this little chat later. I mean that— remind me! But for now, I’ll go and make sure he’s okay!”

  Gloria simply watches, unmoving, as Euniline rushes forwards to tend to any of Diegi’s potential injuries. Simply watches, unmoving— but Gloria isn’t watching Euniline, or Diegi, or even Linderton. Instead, she’s looking past them. It’s just too much, she doesn’t know if she can handle this. Because, looking past them at the Marketplace Square that’s just appeared in the distance, isn’t that…?

  ‘Run. I have to run, I have to run away, I have to— but if I do, won’t he tell them? I want to run— but I can’t run— but— what do I do?’

  It’s been shock after shock after shock— at this point, it’s a miracle she can even feel her body at all. At the very least, she can still control her lips, which feel as if they’re going to go numb in the pouring rain. Slowly, once again ever so slowly, she forces them open and shrieks:

  “Ah–! Sir! Sir, look ahead! There’s something— but is it—!? Look!”

  Diegi, apparently heeding her words, looks ahead, towards the Marketplace Square. And then, he simply stops and stares. He stops and stares, and with his left fingers curled up so to make a loop, he slowly brings his hand up to his the front of his head, trembling as they go.

  From far away, echoing within the mind of a certain boy, where Gloria couldn’t possible be able to hear:

  *bing*