Anxiety.
Gloria’s natural state of being. Or perhaps that’s a lie. It’s not like she’s been this way her entire life; she’d been quite the outgoing and bubbly child. So, what had happened? Well, it’s not that she doesn’t know, but more than she doesn’t like to tell. But enough about her. At this moment, as she walks through the abandoned streets of Paxdom with Diegi, Linderton, and Euniline, for once she isn’t thinking about her worries. Even as she grapples with the oddly persistent feeling of being watched that she’s dealt with all night, she’s able to distract herself from that baseless feeling with something else. She’s thinking about someone else's worries... namely, Diegi’s.
It’s not like Gloria’s in the best state of mind herself, but to her it’s so obvious she can’t help but focus on it. He’s hyperactive, even more so than he was back in the Paxdom Fields. Like he won’t allow himself the slightest moment to rest. Like his mental gears have been spinning this entire time without rest, ceaselessly.
He’s changed so drastically, from seemingly only caring about himself to attempting to shoulder the fate of a city on his own. And yet, despite that seemingly positive change, his actions have only become more and more erratic. Blackmail, stalking, wild negotiations, it’s as if he’s twice as daring as he was when he first asked Gloria for help.
No, not daring— he’d been plenty daring before with his speech patterns and disposition— it’s as if he’s twice as active. More willing to be the cause instead of a victim to the effect; it’s as if he’s desperate. It’s evident in the way his fists are subtly clenched, in the way he scrambles to build a grandiose reputation for himself when he’s feeling even slightly threatened. She doesn’t know what happened to him, to so drastically change his motivations, but even having seemingly returned with a slightly (very slightly) more righteous heart, his behavior is… Gloria can’t find any words to describe it but…
Clownish. Even compared to before, it truly is clownish. Gloria’s aware of it. And she suspects that somewhere deep down, Diegi’s aware of it as well. It’s not as if he isn’t naturally clownish, but now he’s pushing the trait to its limits… no, it really isn’t any of her business. Besides, it isn’t like she has any obligation to help the strange boy. In fact, she should probably be resentful of him for what he’s putting her through.
Though, if she really wanted to, doesn’t she more than have the power to leave it all behind? Not just to leave Diegi in particular, but to abandon her current life as a whole, to leave Paxdom behind and fly somewhere far away, never to confront her old demons again— Anxiety.
…
But even if it isn’t her business, she can’t help but worry. It’s only natural to her. It’s what she’s been doing for herself for years, and now that she’s had her first meaningful interaction in years— Anxiety. Anxiety. And maybe it’s because she’s the only one present who’s seen what he’s like when he’s at ease, or maybe it’s because she’s constantly struggling with the emotion herself, yet Gloria can’t help but think, can’t help but know:
‘Sir… are you also anxious…?’
#
It can’t have been more than ten minutes since they’d all left the Adventurer’s Infirmary. Diegi, Linderton, Euniline, and Gloria (cloaked), walking in a somewhat jumbled bunch. Despite being arguably the frailest of all of them, Diegi is noticeably walking in front, shouldering his light pack of potions and attempting to hide his avatar-induced fatigue with an intrepid grin.
Shit… whatever happened to clear skies?
The silver light of the moon seems to wane as it's partially covered by clouds. Diegi casts a nervous look upwards, but the overcast skies don’t seem to be pouring rain just yet. The fluffy omens of doom just hang there, gray and menacing, taunting Diegi with their age-old question.
Am I gonna rain on you? Am I? Or am I just gonna hang here, looking all ominous? You’ll never know, pathetic mortals, mwahahahaha…! Yeah, forget pretending to be other people, I’m straight-up roleplaying a cloud in my own mind right now. Just stick me in a psych ward at this point. It’s probably for my own good.
Even though everything is going alright for the moment, Diegi feels shudders of anticipation occasionally traveling up and down his spine. Instead of being in the calm before the storm, he feels like he’s lost in a thunderstorm while waiting for a hurricane to hit. Both metaphorically and literally. It’s not a great feeling, to say the least.
*clap*
Smacking his palms together, Diegi takes a deep breath and stops in his tracks, preparing to speak.
“Hey, guys, can we have a quick chat? There’s something I wanna know just in case we get attacked.”
Linderton, also mid-stride, pauses while scratching his ear.
“Wha— huh— oi, kid, didn’t you just tell Captain Rafini that you had that all figured out? I specifically remember you cuttin’ our meeting off and rushing us all out of the Infirmary in a right hurry.”
“...”
At this point, Euniline and Gloria have stopped too, with the latter standing a little bit further away. They, along with Linderton, take note of Diegi’s silence.
“...Kid?”
“Oh, that? I didn’t do that outta rashness, I did it ‘cause I was gonna start rotting if I sat in that room any longer. Listen, we’re on a timer, alright? The monster horde is gonna be back before we know it, so we’ve gotta keep it going.”
If I’m timing the gap between my first and second monster encounters, the third should be… maybe two hours from now? Or less?? Ah, I’ve never been great at keeping track of time… if I was, I wouldn’t be in this reincarnation mess in the first place!
Diegi pounds an open palm with a fist after he finishes his sentence, as if to literally drive his point home like driving a nail into wood. In doing so, he sends a very clear message: end of discussion.
With that, Diegi clears his throat and gets to what he really wanted to talk about.
“Really, I just wanna know about our survivability prospects… there’s a nonzero chance we get taken off guard by some random field monster outside the walls, after all. For instance, I’ve got about five weak healing potions in this pack here. If I dumped them all on you, Linderton, would you be back to full strength?”
If it works the same way as it did in MYTH, the answer should be a no… but it can’t hurt to check.
Linderton, stumbling a bit as he turns, scoffs.
“I am at full strength—BLAAaaEEaaargh!”
Just at that moment— because of course it’s just at that moment— Linderton’s body chooses to send a sharp twinge rocketing through his nervous system, making him double over with a wince. Diegi looks on with barely concealed amusement.
“Yeah, tell another one.”
“Ugh… you really know how to get on someone’s nerves, don’t you kid? But, yeah… guess you wouldn’t know how this works, being a civilian and all. I’ll tell you. The potions… they refill your health and patch up wounds, but they don’t do jack for your internal injuries, or your fatigue. ‘Sides, can’t take too many potions at once or you get potion poisoning…”
Diegi nods, expecting some variation of that answer.
Yep, that’s more or less how a regular health potion works in-game. Replenishes HP, but ignores status effects like Bleeding and Burned, and has a healing cap so it can’t bring you to full health. So basically…
“So basically, if any of us get seriously hurt out here, without anyone around to bring us to an Infirmary, we’re fucked.”
“I wouldn’t put it too crudely, but…. Yeah, right on. No, wait! Healing magic’s a hell of a lot more potent than potions. It doesn’t just patch you up, it actually regenerates stuff. Euniline, mate, ain’t you a healing spellcaster?”
Oh yeah, she is! Why didn’t I think of that!
“Hey, Euniline. You’ve got a spell to heal Linderton when he gets his ass kicked, right? We won’t be disappointed if it’s nothing crazy.”
“Oi, when? Don’t you mean if?”
“We really need to be prepared for when that happens.”
“Stop acting like it’s guaranteed!”
Despite their bickering, Diegi, Linderton, and even the silent Gloria all turn in unison to look at Euniline expectantly. The older woman surveys their curious faces with a serene, wizened look in her eye. With that knowing glint, she parts her lips:
“Don’t count this old lady out just because I stepped back from active duty. Healing spells? Yes, I can cast one. It’s…”
The listeners lean in with bated breath.
“...Small Heal.”
For a moment, Euniline looks truly proud of herself. Then, once she notes everyone else’s expressions— let’s be nice, call them ‘sullen’, and leave it at that— she begins panickedly waving her hands in the air and stammering, greenish hair fluttering behind her.
“Hey now, don’t look at me like that! I said I was retired! Gosh, I wasn’t ever that great of an Adventurer in the first place, and I never claimed I was! I told you all, and you still took me along!”
A pause.
“Come on now young’uns, you said you wouldn’t be disappointed!!”
I’m not disappointed, I’m just mad. Ugh.
Needless to say, Diegi had lied. What else is new?
“Well, I guess that’s all I wanted to know for now. We’re done here.”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
With that, Diegi begins to turn away and start walking again— but he’s stopped when Linderton’s voice rings out from behind him.
“Oi, not even a thank you? Guess that master plan of yours doesn’t include kindness, does it kid?”
“Listen, you wanna save Michael or not? We’ve got less than two hours before the monsters come back. Let’s just keep going.”
“Ah- right you are. My bad, mate.”
‘Your bad’? Hah, as if you really believe that. You’re only following me cause I’ve got something over on you. Same with Gloria, and same with— oh, yeah, I kinda just begged Euniline to come along, didn’t I…? Heh heh heh.
Diegi chuckles and blinks, temporarily thrown off course, before quickly resuming his brooding. It always loops back to brooding. Gotta love adolescent mood swings.
You call my plan a ‘master plan’, huh? Yeah. Yeah, it is, damn it, and I’ll prove it even if it kills ME. Now, let’s keep going.
Facing away from the others, Diegi glances down at his concealed fist. It’s gripped tight in determination— so tight, in fact, that he misses the slight tremble running through it before lifting his gaze and leading the group once again.
##
From what Diegi can tell, the group is almost halfway to the Marketplace Square. Other than his first interjection, it’s been a boring, silent walk.
Linderton abruptly turns around.
“Oi, old lady! Euniline, wasn’t it? My friend could be in danger right now, so you better keep up!”
Right, that’s true, they’re not even walking together anymore; the younger Diegi and Linderton are in front, the older Euniline is lagging behind, and… that’s everyone, right?
Diegi sighs. Turns out that it’s a lot more difficult to bring three people of vastly differing backgrounds together than he’d believed it to be. Whatever happened to the power of friendship? To the compassionate human spirit? To not being a boring piece of— alright, the horse is dead.
Could this be any more awkward? Well, I guess if I was falling over left and right like before then it’d suck even worse, but still… maybe I should’ve expected it, but no one really wants to talk to me. I’m so bored. The only one who says anything loud enough for me to hear is Linderton, and that’s only when he shouts out.
Diegi brings a hand to his chin as he continues to ponder. Now that he thinks about it, something about Linderton’s rude behavior bothers him.
Just who the hell does he think he is, talking to Euniline like that? Doing something as boorish as brainlessly giving commands and expecting others to follow them…
Diegi nods to himself, entirely convinced.
Yeah, doing something as boorish as brainlessly giving commands and expecting others to follow them… is exactly my job as the team leader!! Isn’t that what Mama said her boss at work always did? Dude’s totally stealing my thunder! Then there’s Gloria… wait, Gloria! That’s who I was forgetting! Where’d she go!?
After a brief moment of frenzied searching, Diegi looks over his shoulder. Forget participating in the nonexistent discussion; Gloria’s not even walking close to the other three in the first place. Instead, she’s far behind even Euniline, occasionally casting furtive glances around and behind herself. It’s as if she’s trying to erase her presence. In fact, she’s treading so lightly that her rather thick boots aren’t even making noise as they hit the paved road. Combine her paranoid behavior with the shadows falling over her figure and the fact that she’s wearing a thick hooded robe, and she looks like a villain straight out of a horror movie.
And I thought I was good at stalking people. If she tried, she’d blow me out of the water.
Linderton, noticing where Diegi is looking, gestures at the cloaked Gloria with the butt of his spear.
“Kid, this fourth member of yours is really giving me the creeps. If I’m being honest— almost forgot they were even there. Bloke hasn’t made a single noise since joining us, verbal or otherwise… Reckon we can just kick ‘em out?“
“...eh? Kick ‘em out… of the group…”
He takes a moment to process Linderton’s request with the most contemplative look on his face. Upon fully realizing what the guard is asking, he then—
*boing!*
Oh, that? Sorry, don’t mind the noise; It’s just the sound of Diegi’s eyes popping out of his head.
No way. Kick her out? Are you stupid? Why the hell would I kick her out after I put all that effort into blackmailing— recruiting her, are you stupid? Do you want me to die!? If I’m going to save a city, I’m doing it with someone who can actually protect me at my side, you know? Oh, wait, he doesn’t know. Hmm, actually… that may or may not be because I didn’t tell him… huh?
Someone’s talking to him. Diegi hurriedly slots his eyeballs back into his skull (no, not really) and, temporarily quieting his thoughts, manages to catch the end of Linderton’s rant.
“...id. Kid. KID! Hello? You listening to me? Hey, tell me, why’d we even bring this creepy cloaked guy? Who is this guy? How are they gonna help us bring Michael back safe and sound?”
Diegi’s expression begins to sour under the weight of the unrelenting questioning. He doesn’t especially care about protecting Gloria’s identity or anything, but on the other hand…
…if her secret gets revealed, I lose all my power over her. With that in mind, Linderton’s asking a few too many questions here… sounds like it’s time for me to employ some advanced conversational diversionary tactics. Gotta be subtle about this, or he’ll figure out what I’m doing…
Diegi clears his throat, slicks back his hair, and fixes his best charming smile on his face. Then, looking up at Linderton, he opens his mouth and says:
“Hey, let’s change the subject.”
…
Linderton doesn’t even give a response at first. He’s simply flabbergasted by Diegi’s response, or lack thereof.
Y’know, maybe I could’ve thought that diversion out a little better. Ah, screw it, no choice but to roll with it now.
Diegi simply keeps smiling up at Linderton as they walk.
When in doubt, just grin and looking pretty. That’s another trick Mama learned from dealing with her boss. Hmm… ego-tripping team leaders really are the worst, aren’t they? Glad that isn’t me.
Linderton’s shock unfortunately doesn’t last forever. Like a disappointed schoolteacher, he puts up three fingers and begins counting down as he talks.
“First, I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to just say it out loud when you wanna do something like switching subjects. Second, if you wanna change the subject, you hafta actually introduce a new topic. Third, and most importantly: answer the damn question!”
“Ahhhh, good point, good point. Hmm, what should we talk about…?”
“Kid? Don’t just ignore the first and third points! Come on, answer the question!”
I need something to talk about… a game? Yeah, I’m familiar with a bunch. But which would he know of… oh, I’ve played this online a few times!
“Hey, I know! You play chess?”
“Listen kid, I don’t know who you take me for. My attention span isn’t so low that I could be swayed by a— wait, the hell is a chess?”
“What? Don’t tell me, chess isn’t a thing in this world?”
“This world…?”
“Sorry, sorry. I meant in this city… it’s so far away, it feels like a different world. Where I come from, chess is a kind of table game.”
“Ah, yeah, I get that. Nothing like a nice round of Drops at the tavern, ‘specially with a nice keg of ale.”
What the heck is a Drops? Ah, well, I guess it’s their equivalent of Go Fish or something?
“With ale, huh? Yeah that’s cool, bet.”
“Bet?! Woah there, I sure didn’t have you pegged as a high roller. Gambling ain’t for kids, okay?”
So he doesn’t know what jazz is, but he’s familiar with high rollers? Huh? Is there some sort of logic for what the people in this game-world know or don’t know? And how did Automod even set this whole NPC sentience thing up??
“Ah, my bad my bad. No, by ‘bet’ I mean— it’s like I’m saying ‘alright’”
“Never heard ‘bet’ used like that before.”
“Never heard it used like tha— okay grandpa, you’ve gotta be kidding me!! How old are you, twenty or TWO-HUNDRED!?”
“Hey hey, you think I look like I’m 20?”
Quite oddly for someone who’s currently being chewed out, Linderton gives Diegi a full-toothed smile and strikes a not-so-subtle pose with his spear lying across his shoulders. He’s obviously trying to emphasize his (reasonably toned) musculature, but— and not even Diegi would ever dare say this next part out loud— but he’s sort of emphasizing his protruding beer belly instead.
So the man likes ale. It isn’t a crime! And, hold on a sec…
“Eh? So you’re older than 20?”
Linderton, upon realizing his gaff, makes a disappointed face and exaggeratedly slumps over, scratching his goatee.
“Ah, blast it. Let the slime out of the bag…”
Mmm? What’s he talking about?
Diegi raises his eyebrow and lifts his shoulder to show off the pack full of potions he’d gotten from the Adventurers’ Infirmary.
“You didn’t do anything with the bag. Look, it’s still on my back.”
At this point, Linderton is truly dumbfounded. He can’t stop himself from slapping a palm to his forehead— it’s as if he and Diegi are speaking different languages.
“Just a figure of speech, mate. It means I let something slip.”
“Nah, no one says that. I think you’re just old, man.”
Talk about culture shock. Not only between worlds, but generations too… all these verbal gymnastics are making my brain hurt. But still… I know I’ve heard people use slang here before! Actually, come to think of it, Linderton himself uses slang all the time! They’re mostly Britishisms, but still! What’s the rule here?
Diegi sighs.
This is annoying. I want to go home— no, not again! Positive thinking, positive thinking…
Diegi’s beginning to realize why he’d originally thought staying silent was the best choice of action. Unfortunately for him, however, Linderton isn’t done speaking.
“Listen, you little— aren’t I the local here? I think I know what people say and don’t say, thank you very much! And speaking of slipping— you sure you’re okay carrying that pack? You look just about ready to keel over.”
Diegi reshoulders his potion pack and gives Linderton a derisive scoff.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sheesh, I think I’m strong enough to carry a pack of potions on my own.”
Then, he sighs again, and adds under his breath:
“All you game-worlder’s ways of speaking make me feel like I’m totally trippin’…”
“You’re tripping? Tripping on what?”
Diegi really had muttered it softly, but Linderton still managed to overhear the last bit. Because of course he had.
Damn these magic soldiers and their overly sharp senses. Why can't I have that!? Wait, back up, I’m thinking negatively again. Gotta keep going, gotta keep going… phew. Okay, you got this, just be patient and explain yourself.
“Not like that, Linderton. I mean ‘tripping’ as in—“
*thud*
And then, because it’s still nighttime and he can’t see for shit and the weight of the pack is throwing off his sense of balance and the world just generally seems to enjoy watching him suffer:
Diegi trips.
Literally.
Again.
Just as Linderton predicted.
Agh, I fuckin’ hate this avatar!! That 6 HP’s looking more like 5 now… I’m officially one unit closer to being dead!! When that happens back on earth, they throw you a party, but now I just feel like crying about it… in fact, screw it, if things keep going like this I think I will!!
With trembling fingers, the fallen Diegi clenches his fists, digging his nails into his palm, trying to keep it all under control.
Stay calm. It’s alright. Positive thinking, breath in and out. Stay calm, calm, calm. You just had a tumble, but when you’re feeling down, the only place life can go is up.
“Oi, kid! That looked gnarly— you all right? Sheesh, what’ve you got in that pack anyways?”
Without hesitation, the guard crouches down and prepares to lift Diegi back to his feet— only to be interrupted by a disapproving palm held up to his face. Without even bothering to lift his face that’s pressed against the ground, Diegi muffledly responds to Linderton.
“Nothin’ much, nothin’ much… just some healing potions, featherweight potions, flare potions, y’know the sort. I’ll get up on my own… just wait a sec…”
Linderton, huh. He acts goofy, he’s rude, and his mind can be really one-track, but from all this talking we’ve done, I can tell he’s a lot more of a goody two shoes than I gave him credit for. Ugh, just when I thought I’d finally found a kindred spirit. Even if I know they’re all real people, it still feels like I’m alone in this world... no. No time to sit here and whine, I’m the one who chose to keep going. So then…
Diegi takes a deep breath, feeling the anger flow back into some deep recess of his brain. Then, resetting his posture, he attempts to regain some semblance of balance as he gets back to his feet—
*BO– BOOOOOOMMM*
What the!?
_
The very beginning of a downpour. It’s beautiful, in a sense. What feels like a solid sheet of rain descends all at once, falling, falling, falling, taking the territory of the air for its own all at once— before hitting the ground all at once. Accompanied by thunder and lightning and the howling of the wind, it’s an almost supernatural experience.
The appropriate name for such a phenomenon is a cloudburst. And what with the slick puddles suddenly forming on the ground and the abrupt pickup in wind speed, it forms very unfavorable conditions for an off-balance boy trying to get back to his feet.
_
**WHAM**
“—fffuuUCCCKKK!!”
What had Diegi been thinking about a few moments ago…? Some form of anger management…?
Well, he’d tried, at least.
Ah ha ha ha… this is so messed up. Can’t even get to my feet— feels like a reflection of my life right now. ‘Plan,’ my ass… I’ve got a pretty good idea of how to kill the monsters, but other than that, aren’t I just running blindly into a storm and hoping for the best? But, if I don’t work fast, people really will die to those tutorial monsters… ‘people’ mostly meaning me, but not entirely! Dang it, what do I do!?
Before he can come to anything even beginning to resemble a conclusion, a melodious— albeit panicked— voice drifts into his ears.
“Ah–! Sir! Sir, look ahead! There’s something— but is it—!? Look!”
Yeah yeah, I get it. The Marketplace Square is up ahead, I know. I— huh? Who?
It takes a moment for the somewhat distant voice to register, because it’s one Diegi hasn’t heard before. Smooth, androgynous, with a pleasing quality that makes him think the owner of that voice should sign up as a motivational speaker or something. Only the speech patterns give it away:
Gloria? She finally spoke up! And, is she… trying to hide her real voice? Wow, how’s she changing it like that? And, uh… what was she trying to tell me again? Something about looking ahead— oh. Oh no.
At some point, Diegi had reassured the others that the tutorial monsters wouldn’t come back for another hour at the least. And even if they did, they’d be outside the walls. He hadn’t been aiming to deceive anyone when he’d said that. So why, why…?
“No.”
Because Diegi had lied.
“No. This… can’t be real. I…”
Even when he hadn’t been trying to, he’d lied.
“I… Damn it, I’m not ready yet…!”
What else is new?
Just standing there, in the middle of the Marketplace Square, he sees ‘it’.
Calm down, calm down, calm down. You don’t have any proof yet, it’s too far away to make anything out clearly. Look, it’s just a single silhouette. It isn’t a horde, and it isn’t even moving. Maybe it’s just some civilian who escaped from a protection center.
But ‘maybe’ isn’t enough. Diegi had told himself— had promised himself— that he’d start trying to face reality and look it in the eye. This time, he won’t look away; the thought is the only thing that keeps him from melting down again. So, with trembling hands, he makes the sideways ‘ok-sign’ with his left hand, and even as he’s battered by the wind and soaked by the rain, he shakily brings the hole of his handsign to his left eye, and he whispers, no— he activates:
“P— perception.”
*bing*