Still Don't Give A {Fluff} [Parody]

  A lot of people ask me, “Are you afraid of death?” Heck yeah, I'm afraid of death. I may be Christian, but that doesn't mean I'm going to Heaven. I hope I will. Truth is, I know where I'm going about as well as you do. Plus, I got countless words I wanna write and countless games I wanna play, and I wanna make a family one day, too. So, I ain't got the time to write like everyone else. Don't wanna act like I'm not different, or like that other style's the best. Ain't got the time to sugarcoat my words for people who haven't learned what reality is yet. Life's too short to spend it all pretending like it's something else, or like you're something else. So, when you see me when I'm 70 years old, I still won't have written enough and I Still Won't Give A {Fluff}. (Still won't swear either)

  The music picks up.

  Joshua: Zoned out at a point. They said, “You need a better editor.” Either hadn't read it or they a redditor. Same arguments get me annoyed. A guerrilla diss without the glue? So, spew ya poo as ya do. I will resist all this salt mist. Makin' a mock, me and my flock'll give you a shock as we rock ya. But, gimme slack and I'll stack thumbtacks where you sat so they-

  You: Ack!

  Joshua: Go up ya bum crack.

  Sonic: Got ya chewing cud in the mud with blood on yo mug! So, how 'bout now, Raocow? Getting called out now for view counts that wound up in the ground muck. When I was born, mama mourned 'cause dad was corn. Vagina torn before she was gored by the Egg Lord. I'm bored as I abide and stride to stay alive. Let me get my sword and blind strike yo skull's tight hide as you cry, “Leave Me Where I Lie!”

  Joshua: For all the dark thoughts I upended, I ain't gonna do! To all who feel offended-

  Sonic: This taint's for you!

  Joshua: To all the friends I used to have, I miss my past. But, all those who wanna end me can kiss my rash! For all the games I had won, I'm still gonna do.

  Sonic: To all the GUNs I did done, ya got no will to shoot!

  Joshua: Every time I reminisce, Imma miss my past. But, I Still Don't Give A Fluff!

  Sonic: Y'all can Sip My Sass!

  Knuckles: Wanna hit Jet Hawk's cleft jaw with my left claw and leave it a wreck, mauled. Give a Wave as I choke you 'til ya go blue, but ya like it don't you? This just won't do. Gotta crush ya marrow 'til it busts out yo narrow veins. Give this Sparrow pain 'til her voice echo wanes. You could say that I'm sane, but you'd have to be insane. Brain train wrecked at the station on the other side of twenty brothering nations. Need a better explanation? I need better pay then!

  Tails: Yo! Let me drop on this song like the bomb I lobbed at Donkey Kong, the monster dong who'll never get along! Can't give ya my 50 cent, but my two cents is free. 'Cause, I'm the nifty fifty who's thrifty and you miffed me. But, if you with me, then sing along swiftly!

  If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

  Sonic: Belly's full of laxatives while I'm axin' men, contractin' them, constrictin' slim, restrictin' in to get comeuppance while I'm crappin' pants, scattin' dance, cappin' rats, strapped for cash, rappin' trash!

  Joshua: For all the dark thoughts I upended, I ain't gonna do! To all who feel offended-

  Sonic: This taint's for you!

  Joshua: To all the friends I used to have, I miss my past. But, all those who wanna end me can kiss my rash! For all the games I had won, I'm still gonna do.

  Sonic: To all the GUNs I did done, ya got no will to shoot!

  Joshua: Every time I reminisce, Imma miss my past. But, I Still Don't Give A Fluff!

  Sonic: Y'all can Sip My Sass!

  Joshua: Made a book without budget. I ain't Warren Buffet. Got money, stuff it. 'Cause, I got just enough to go muggin'. Now, how am I supposed to write when I'm stuck in my head? More time makes it more tight? That's just somethin' that's said. Don't spread lies, Ned.

  Ned: Okay.

  Joshua: Follow dreams and make yo wishes. Running outta space for words written. Gotta get a new mission while cooking up rhymes, all sizzlin'. Ya think these lines are sloppy? Never gonna stop me. The bestest Shady copy. More jolly than Hunter on molly. Go ahead and mock me. Just look out for Johnny, the JoeStar I'm calling to put coal in stockings.

  Sonic: Why am I here in the first place? Got to the convention on Fur Day on a Thursday and I'm surprised at these gals' thirst strength. Cheating? You weren't today's first bang. Besides, who's to say it was me per se? Oh! You'd better get a new purse, eh. Used it to measure my girth length!

  Joshua: For all the dark thoughts I upended, I ain't gonna do! To all who feel offended-

  Sonic: This taint's for you!

  Joshua: To all the friends I used to have, I miss my past. But, all those who wanna end me can kiss my rash! For all the games I had won, I'm still gonna do.

  Sonic: To all the GUNs I did done, ya got no will to shoot!

  Joshua: Every time I reminisce, Imma miss my past. But, I Still Don't Give A Fluff!

  Sonic: Y'all can Sip My Sass!

  Tails: Get lost!

  Knuckles: Get outta here!

  Sonic: Bye bye!

  Joshua: Yo! The song's over. Album too. Go home!

  Sonic voiced by Slim Shady

  Knuckles voiced by Royce Da 5'9”

  Tails voiced by 50 Cent

  Joshua voiced by Eminem

  The End of the Slim Shady LP

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qy30k22sYE

  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBxDQjSdlCqmZksGnHYXZjhX20HubLG9y