As I walked further into this Purple Candy land, I came across a clearing where a distinguished-looking professor was setting up camp. He had a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, and his glasses were perched precariously on his nose. He looked up as I approached, a smug smile on his face.

  "Ah, a traveler!" he exclaimed. "I am Professor Enoch, and I must say, you are a sight for sore eyes in this godforsaken place. Tell me, what is your name and what brings you to this world?"

  I scratched my head, trying to remember the stupidest answer possible. "Um, I'm Amy. And I'm here because I got hit by a truck after school."

  The professor raised an eyebrow. "A truck, you say? How quaint. But tell me, Amy, what is the mathematical probability of being struck by a vehicle while walking home from school?"

  I blinked, trying to hide my confusion with a dumb smile. "Um, I dunno. Like, fifty-fifty? Either it hits you or it doesn't."

  The professor chuckled condescendingly. "Fascinating. And what about the philosophical implications of such an event? Does fate play a role, or is it merely a matter of chance?"

  I shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe fate was like, 'Hey, Amy's gonna get hit by a truck today.' But then again, maybe the truck was just hungry and wanted a snack."

  Professor Enoch's smile faltered slightly as he processed my absurd answer. I could see the confusion in his eyes, and it spurred me on.

  "You know," I continued, "I once read that trucks are made of metal and stuff. So, if fate is real, maybe it's also made of metal. Or maybe it's just a big, invisible truck driving around, hitting people with its fate-beam."

  The professor's eyes glazed over as he tried to wrap his head around my nonsense. "But... but that doesn't make any sense," he stammered.

  I grinned, feeling the power of my dumbness coursing through me. "Yeah, well, neither does getting hit by a truck. But here we are."

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  With a final, bewildered look, Professor Enoch's eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed to the ground, defeated.

  "Congratulations, Amy," the voice said. "You have defeated Professor Enoch and gained a significant amount of experience points!"

  Stat Screen:

  Skills:

  I looked down at my new stats, feeling a surge of power. I'd never felt so strong, so... dumb. It was exhilarating.

  As I stood there, basking in my victory, a group of small, gnome-like creatures appeared from the bushes. They were chattering excitedly among themselves, and their eyes widened as they saw the fallen professor.

  "You did this?" one of them asked, pointing at Professor Enoch's unconscious body.

  I nodded, trying to look menacing. "Yep. I'm Amy, the Dumb Girl. And I kicked his smart ass."

  The gnomes exchanged nervous glances, and then one of them stepped forward. "We are the Knowledge Gnomes," he said. "And we have a quest for you, if you are willing to accept it."

  I raised an eyebrow. "A quest? Like, a treasure hunt or something?"

  The gnome nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes! We need your help to retrieve the Lost Tome of Stupidity from the library at the top of the great hill. It is said that this tome holds the power to amplify dumbness tenfold. Will you help us?"

  I grinned, already imagining the chaos I could cause with such a powerful artifact. "You bet your sweet gnome ass I will."

  And so, with a new quest in hand, I set off towards the great hill, ready to cause some more dumb mayhem.