The judges cleared the stage and set themselves around it as a border. Since this wasn’t a real fight but merely a sparring match they could submit, tap out, get knocked out, or go out of bounds, or the usual ways of winning. Stu stood alone facing the unknown blue blood who was also alone. Stu hadn’t seen their god, but already figured it was intentional, the person had one, they just hadn’t revealed it yet. Stu asked the stranger, “Are we pulling our punches or not? I get the feeling that you are way more serious about this than I am. So, do you think you could crify that for me?”

  The stranger shook their head in disagreement. Timber said, “Begin!”

  Stu stood there unmoving, more confused than anything. He was trying to figure out what was happening and how to approach the situation without everyone dying. The masked blue blood stood there unmoving as well. Stu asked, “Are you sure you want to do this, because I’m not..” This must have triggered the guy, because there was an explosion behind Stu which made him look back. At the same time, a fist hit him on the side of the head sending him rolling across the stage. He got to his feet, annoyed but otherwise fine.

  The mysterious person was standing there, confidently waiting. Stu stared him down, as he did the images fshed in his mind, causing physical pain as he tried repressing them. He took a deep breath attempting to restrain his mind. Stu gred at the mysterious person, he said, “Alright.. I bet you can’t do it again..”

  The explosion went off in front of Stu this time and his vision quickly became obscured by dust. Stu stepped back one step and as he did, a kick struck out from the dust towards his face. Grabbing the foot, he pulled the blue blood towards him, Stu’s eyes glowed with fire as he grabbed onto the stranger’s shirt. He pulled his fist back to strike and let go suddenly backing up and dropping them on their butt. The dust settled and the mysterious person seemed as confused as the rest of the spectators. Taking another step back the glow in his eyes faded rapidly.

  Timber interrupted asking, “Why have you stopped the match?”

  Stu blushed saying, “I’m sorry..”

  Timber asked, “Why are you sorry?”

  Stu said, “Um.. Uh.. I didn’t mean to grab her boobs. I, uh, just didn’t realize that I was fighting a girl..”

  Everyone slowly looked at the mysterious blue blood, and she struggled to her feet. Trying to obscure the sex of her voice she began yelling, “You have no idea who I am, or if I am a girl or not!”

  Stu still blushing said, “No, I know what boobs feel like.. You’re a girl, you just disguised yourself. I don’t fight girls, sorry.”

  The mysterious girl yelled, “You fight gods and they are all girls! What’s the difference if I’m a blue blood?”

  Stu looked confused as he said, “Those were big boobs, not the little B-cups all the gods have. I mean I got in there and really felt them up.. Sorry, I refuse on the grounds of it being too sexy..” The girl charged Stu and he involuntarily struck out. A simple reaction after all the fights he’d been through and he hit the porcein mask shattering it causing the girl to nd on her butt. He immediately panicked yelling, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hit you.. It was just a reaction..”

  She tried to hide her face as Stu tried to help her up. She yelled, “Don’t treat me like that! I’m stronger than you! Back off!” She scrambled to her feet and to Stu’s surprise he saw her face. She wasn’t from the States, she was definitely Persian in heritage. Stu was shocked, she was incredibly pretty, he hadn’t expected a fighter to be so attractive.

  Stu squinted and asked, “Why did you dress like a ninja if you were of Persian heritage?”

  The girl gred at him saying, “It’s an elite melr you uneducated ass.. “Her gre faded to confusion. “Wait, you can see I’m Persian at a gnce, but you called my armor a ninja outfit? Are you autistic or something?”

  By this point the crowd was silent and the only thing happening was the two blue bloods were throwing semi-insults at each other. The crowd and judges were all captivated by the unforeseen change in atmosphere. Stu yelled, “Why does everyone keep calling me autistic? Do I really come across like that? You know what? It’s fine, even if I am autistic I’m still not going to fight a big titty girl..”

  The girl yelled back at him, “You don’t want to fight because you’re a pervert, admit it!”

  Stu sat quietly for a second thinking very carefully, then shrugging he said, “Yeah, alright. I’m a pervert and if we fight I’ll be thinking about those big squishy pillows of joy. Now you should admit your part..”

  The girl became almost hysterical as she yelled at him, “What do I have to admit? You are insane! Do you realize that? This was only an issue, once you got pervy!”

  Stu sounded like a parent scolding a child as he said, “No, no.. You lied about being a girl and made me grab those amazing frontside airbags you carry. You need to apologize for it..”

  The girl fell to her knees in complete despair asking, “Are you autistic? Now, I don’t even want to fight anymore.. This is just complete madness..” She looked sad.

  Stu felt kind of bad for her suddenly, he asked, “Do.. Um, you don’t uh.. Do you need a hug?”

  The girl let out a visceral scream and began punching the floor in anger, if not also confusion. Timber walked out and said, “The match has been called, in favor of the house of Chaos.” The crowd erupted. Timber looked at Stu saying, “Very impressive use of your power once again. You really don’t disappoint, do you?”

  Stu was confused thinking, he won? How? What power? He really couldn’t wrap his head around what happened, honestly he also felt like doing the same thing that the girl had done. Chaos ran over hugging him saying, “Congratutions on winning!”

  He temporally forgot about everything else as she wrapped herself tightly around him. He asked, “Was I impressive?”

  Chaos said, “Yes, and don’t think we wont have a discussion about big boobs ter. For now though, enjoy the win.”

  Stu asked, “What? I’m in trouble for winning?”

  Demi walked over saying, “Stu, a moment of your time please?”

  Chaos gred at him, Stu looked at her saying, “It’s fine, I’ll catch up to you in a minute.”

  Demi walked with Stu over to the edge of the stage while everyone else was distracted. Demi said, “Sorry about that spar thing earlier, but it let me go do some digging while no one was paying attention. Thought I’d let you in on what I discovered.”

  Stu said, “Alright, I’ll decide whether to punch you in the nose now or ter. Go ahead..”

  Rolling his eyes Demi said, “I looked into the blue bloods god. I think it’s deception. I don’t know much else other than that. The name should be helpful though if we talk to our gods.”

  Confused Stu asked, “So, I take it you were pnning this from the beginning?”

  Demi grinned at him saying, “Maybe, or maybe you make opportunity where you can. Who knows? I’d like to know though, how you figured out how to beat the blue blood out there? What was it about her?”

  Confused Stu asked, “I don’t understand the question, what do you mean?”

  Demi stared saying, “How did you know what to do to win? She would have beaten you in a fair fight, I’m sure of it. How did you figure out that tactic?”

  Now Stu was frustrated, He asked, “What did I do? I really don’t know!”

  Demi looked surprised, “You made her mad, she was so upset that she tapped out without realizing it. You really didn’t pn that? That’s absurd!”

  It hit Stu at this moment, Demi was right. The fact was she tapped when she attacked the ground in frustration. He hadn’t pnned anything; this was just him being him. Stu asked, “Demi, I know you hate me and we’re enemies, but I have to ask you a question. I need you to answer me honestly, please.. Do you think I’m autistic?”

  Demi’s jaw was hanging so far open that it was almost touching the ground. He said, “I almost lost to you.. How? Why? What kind of answer was any of this? Ouch, my head.. Yes, I believe so Stu.. and I may be as well now.. Ouch..” He winced in pain, walking away from Stu.

  Timber came over as Demi walked away and said, “You are needed at the podium now, they expect to hear from the winner.”

  Walking to the podium with Timber they looked out at the massive crowd. Stu took the mic from mike, and said, “Um, in case you were wondering, I didn’t intend for that to go that way..” The crowd erupted in appuse before Stu spoke again saying, “No, really. You all seem to think that was intentional, and I assure you that was completely an accident.” The cheers went nuts, the appuse didn’t stop, and the judges looked impressed as Stu sighed shaking his head. He said, “how about a round of appuse for the big titty girl!” The crowd went nuts. Stu shook his head and walked away as timber took back over at the mic.

  Chaos ran over to meet him; she didn’t tackle him with a hug this time though. She actually had her arms crossed and gring, she said, “Here we are talking about big titty’s again.. Is there something wrong with mine?” She pushed them together while asking Stu the question.

  Stu turned red saying, “No, I mean, I don’t think so.. It’s not like, um, uh.. I’ve never seen them.. How could I know? God.. Son of a.. Am I in trouble again..?”

  Chaos looked upset, still smooshing her breasts together saying, “Probably, I don’t know yet.”

  Stu was desperate asking, “What does that mean?”

  Mike came over interrupting saying, “Very nice Chaos.” She blushed and stopped pying with her sweater puppies. He continued, “That was a real fucking performance today! You really are on your way to the top aren’t you? I’ll tell you what man, why don’t we get a drink after things settle down here? I’ll bet we could be best friends!”

  Stu forced a grin and said, “Maybe.. By the way, did you happen to pn this fight today?”

  Mike grinned devilishly, “Did I surprise you with my cunning today?”

  Stu still forced a grin saying, “Oh boy, you sure did. We definitely will have to grab that drink afterwards, what kind of ride do you have?”

  Mike said, “Fuck yeah! I have the white convertible across from where you parked. We’ll meet up ter!” He walked over to some other gods and blue bloods talking to them next.

  Chaos asked, “I really didn’t think you would like that guy. Wait.. You don’t like that guy, do you?!?” Her eyes grew wide.

  Stu felt the clouds part and saw the beam of holy light shine down from the heavens onto her. She finally understood subtle body nguage; this was a holy moment in his eyes. He wanted to cry and kiss her at the same time because he was so happy. He smiled at her and said, “Finally you understand.. Now, what I want you to do is…” He had a pn for after the st of the boring stuff for the ceremony.

  The night ended with around twenty boring speeches on tournament expectations and etiquette. The fourth horn blew and they wrapped up the ceremony with a bunch of photos, handshakes, and one or two more autographs. It was this point Stu was waiting for.

  Stu, Marrow, and the girls sat in Stu’s car waiting and watching inconspicuously. Mike came out to the parking lot and looked around expecting to see Stu. Shrugging he went to start his car, sitting down and turning the key. He screamed at the top of his lungs, “What the fuck is this shit!?! Oh, fuck me.. It’s everywhere! Ah, it smells.. Hrmph…” Puking in his car, he jumped out and continued throwing up everywhere.

  Marrow asked, “Am I off the hook for this one?”

  Stu ughed hard saying, “Absolutely, this was worth it..”

  Prosperity said, “It was awesome getting to dump Marrow slush all over his car!”

  Miracle asked, “Did he really deserve that?”

  Chaos ughed saying, “Oh, he deserved it.. This was a great idea!” Stu honked the horn at Mike, before waving and driving off with all of them ughing.