Funatic

  The travel towards Maclis was sadly not in style.

  Rykard managed to summon a slightly above average carriage for each of the days that they were on the Grid for. Not his proudest achievement, even if it was still far above what the average conjurer could manage. In any case, it cut a day off their travels, allowing them to arrive on the morning of the fourth day.

  Once more at the point where he had summoned the Hexagon, Rykard was presented with effectively three choices.

  First, he could take the short trip back to his estate to check if anyone was home and, if they were, how things were progressing so far. The chances that anyone was there were low. It had only been six days since he set out and just traveling to the centre of the Hexagon would take one and a half.

  Second, he could head to the obvious target, that being the rge estate within the walls. It practically screamed ‘this is where the important people are’.

  Third, he could instead head for the vilge in the western half of the dual Hexagon. It was unlikely to be the centre of power, but checking on the farmers first could be valuable in its own way. What made this idea less attractive was how far away they were.

  The obvious choice was the one he ended up going with. “We’ll head for the academy.”

  “What you assume to be the academy, you mean,” Hey threw in.

  It was a fair point, for all he knew that was a nobleman’s manor and the attached rural environment was actually for the battlemaids. “You want to bet?” Rykard asked.Hey considered the question for a moment, then shook her head. “I know better than to bet against you by this point.” A simple gesture in the general direction of where the stag had been summoned gave all the expnation she was required to give.

  “How are we going to reach the academy?” Mena then asked.

  “We could go through the woods, then make it over the wall. It’ll be quick,” Tena suggested. “Should be a day only, a couple more hours of the next one at worst.”

  “The proper approach would be to follow the grid west, then southwest until the point where road and Grid intersect,” Lyvia stated. “From there, we enter through the gate.”

  “That’ll cost us like twice as long though,” Tena compined.

  “It would be the diplomatically proper approach,” Lyvia reiterated. “Not the speedy one.”

  “Your choice, Rykard?” Hey asked while inspecting her nails.

  “Let’s take the swift approach,” Rykard decided. “My time is precious and all of that.”

  And so they did. It was an eventless trek through the kind of forest that generations of sapient proximity had long since tamed into harmless woodnd. After that, there was a vast field of green too even to be entirely natural. Rykard guessed that it was used for military exercises. He had asked for maids of battle, after all.

  The existence of the drilling field suggested the existence of a, likely smaller, side gate that wasn’t shown on the map - an existence that was confirmed at the end of the day. Night had since fallen, but the party was still marching in the hopes of arriving somewhere with beds.

  The gate was guarded by two women of mature years, between 30 and 40 by Rykard’s estimation. They wore an aesthetic combination of maid outfits and armoured ptes, enchantments connecting the two to ensure the looks did not csh with the practicality. Both were armed with spears.

  The group saw them long before they were spotted in turn, the superhuman eyes of the party letting them pierce the darkness at a much longer range. When they did step into the field of view of the maids, they crossed their spears with militaristic habit and asked in unison, “”Who goes there?””

  “Rykard of New Eden,” the leader of the party of five announced himself.

  Their reaction was promising. Immediately the spears were drawn back. He didn’t even have to ask for it, for one of the guards to knock on the door in a rhythmic pattern. Mechanisms were put in motion that raised the iron fence that had been lowered before the wooden gate.

  The other guard addressed him. “The head maid will not expect you so te… or so early, depending on how you look at it. We were informed you would be on the road for at least a month before coming here.”

  “Pns were adjusted - for the better,” Rykard answered simply. “I take it then that my Miyo and Vyra made contact with you?”

  “That is correct,” the battlemaid answered. The gate proper opened up behind her, a small gap in the tall, grey walls. “You will be led to their rooms for the night. The head maid will receive you in the morning.”

  “Thank you very much,” Rykard stated and the entirety of his retinue followed him into the academy grounds proper.

  The facilities outside the manor were rather dull. For the most part, they were looking at empty green spaces. There were various fenced off areas dedicated to training with various kinds of weapons, as racks filled with wooden replicas proved. When it came to the manor itself, however, dull was the st word on Rykard’s mind.

  The structure was enormous. Stacked up arches, blocks, and domes of grey stone, decorated by the use of brown roof tiles and diligent paintings, all coming together in a vast building equal parts militaristic and pleasant to look at. It was rger even than Rykard’s own estate. Considering that his mansion was set for dozens of people and this manor for thousands, that was no real surprise.

  Despite its size, most of the manor y dark. Torches, candles, and magical lights shone through tall windows and illuminated the palisades atop the defensible walls. There were huge gaps between the lights. Rykard could not say whether that was due to the time of day or if much of the academy y unused for the time being.

  Following a provided guide, they were brought into the academy. Here and there, further guards were stationed, all of them female, all of them armoured in the same way and, as Rykard could not help but notice, all outside their best years. That wasn’t to say they were old, at least not most of them. On average, who Rykard saw must have been about 35. Still of age to marry and start a family with, just at the tail end of it. There were some whose hair already greyed or had been greyed out entirely though. All had aged with dignity and were physically fit.

  The answer to this happenstance, Rykard guessed he would find soon.

  Two knocks on a double-sided door announced their arrival. “Miss Miyo, your king has arrived!”

  There was excited motion behind the door. “Enter,” he heard Miyo’s even voice echo through the wood. The maid bowed, opened the room for Rykard and then closed it behind him after he had entered. “The bedroom, Rykard.”

  Rykard followed the voice of his queen and stepped into the bedroom of the opulent apartment. It wasn’t as luxurious as the Estate, but it would do. Turning the corner, he was met by the sight of Miyo lounging naked in a rge bed. She wore only an ornate choker, one of the more ornate colrs that he had gifted her over the years. Her lips were wet, likely from the juices of the big-titted vampire that id just a bit away from her.

  “I didn’t know you had managed to take that old thing along,” Rykard said as he crossed the distance.

  “Neither did I. I discovered it recently in one of the crates I arrived with. So much else of my luggage was lost.” Miyo leaned into his touch, the motion eager even while his voice remained cool. “I see you have found what you were looking for,” she commented, when Lyvia stepped into the room behind him. “Did that cosmic entity you summoned aid you in this?”

  “I was brought to where I had to be at the right time,” Rykard confirmed, then yawned. “I will update you over breakfast. For now, make room in that bed.”

  “My bed is always your bed, Master,” Miyo assured and opened her arms, inviting his embrace and the use of her breasts as his cushions.

  Which he swiftly did.

  Rykard did not have access to his favourite bathtub.

  The provided one in the quarters was one of regur design: a rge, elongated bowl of ceramic and bronze, to be filled with hot water, potentially big enough for two people. It was not made for a Master to ze in and get cleaned by one to ten haremettes and therefore Rykard limited his cleaning to actually just cleaning himself.

  The lewdities of his morning were instead celebrated over breakfast.

  Hey and Vyra were under the table. The two could subsist off of his seed alone, and so had no use for the meal that had been brought in. The duo kept dragging their long tongues over his manhood, while he got filled in on the diplomacy in his abscence.

  “I’ve arrived here five days ago with the other haremettes.” Miyo did not even care in the slightest about the constant wet sounds. It was as normal to her as the fact that she was eating bread. The other haremettes reacted with varying degrees of flushes to the knowledge that a sloppy blowjob was happening in their shared leg space. “Helenn returned to the Estate after initial contact. Vyra and I stayed here. Initial diplomacy was tense, but talks so far have been fruitful. Maclis finds itself in a predicament.”

  “Which would be?” Rykard asked, eyes on the vampire whose bck lips his shaft had just popped out of. Hey immediately took over that duty.

  Panting, the white-haired woman answered. “Apparently they were unaware that this was their Exile Hexagon. Unlike Halyfa, they still knew of the game, however. That means we don’t need to expin the situation. They were simply summoned at an inopportune time. It was the semester break, milord.”

  “Ah, so all of the maids I have seen around so far aren’t the students but the instructors?” Rykard caught on.

  Miyo bowed over the table to present her king with a bit of cream cheese spread on a piece of oven-warm bread. Rykard took a bite as she calmly continued. “Instructors, administrators, guards, cleaners, gardeners, and so on. All of them originally come from this academy, but they are older than you likely intended. There are about 250 of them.”

  “Where are their men?”

  “It appears the tradition was that only those widowed taught at the academy and there was a recent, quite disastrous war.” Miyo paused for a moment. “Another matter that you likely did not intend - your specification of battlemaid seems to have been taken seriously by the gods. The women trained here are exclusively from military families. An education useful in war and peace, they call it.”

  Rykard leaned back and groaned, the deepthroating of his cock shifting from Hey back to Vyra. “Older and certainly more elitist than I intended then, but the gods tend to put odd roadblocks in the way for their entertainment. What about the surrounding nds?”

  “I have not prospected them personally yet,” Miyo answered. “Vyra would have, but few of them are nocturnal. From what we are told, the surrounding farmnd is used to supply the academy and to teach the attendees the basics of agriculture. Farmers around here are exclusively female and exclusively young, 18 to 30 is the definitive spread. Traditions say it would be improper to have men around the military academy and the program to work these farms is used to give the lower csses work to then start their own families with.”

  “Not the worst program in the world… species?”

  “A general mixture of beastkin.” Miyo gestured at herself. “Few have more than the standard two markers of additional ears and tail. A few horns, cws, scales, and the like, but nothing unusual.”

  “At least that is as expected then.” Rykard closed his eyes and came in Vyra’s mouth. “Remember to share,” he groaned, while the st of the load was massaged by the vampire’s pumping hand out of his shaft. The two women under the table were swift to kiss, swapping the semen back and forth. They would continue until it was diluted by saliva to the point of non-existence. “Your suggestion?”

  “I believe your powerful charisma will be sufficient to negotiate a quick understanding. It appears they wish for their ways to continue as before. What is needed to be sorted out is their degree of local autonomy and where their future students come from. The military families they drew their numbers from obviously are not present - although that could be alleviated.”

  “The middle aged women here are still in their fertile years,” Rykard hummed. “We could match them and restart the families that way. That would retain the elitist character of the academy for better or for worse.”

  “Alternatively, we could suggest they fold the surrounding young women into the program. They are culturally adjacent and so that should go quite smoothly,” Miyo suggested. “It will likely prove unpopur with the current leadership, however.”

  “If I may,” Mena spoke up. “I think the institution should allow all that wish to attend do so - under the prerequisite they pass the proper tests, of course. I am certain many of my kin would appreciate the… cultural exchange?”

  “You have no idea how many elves salivate over the idea of putting on a maid outfit,” Tena added.

  “I can make an educated guess,” Rykard answered drily. “Even if you two insist you’d only like to do it for the bedroom.”

  “”We are Tey’s chosen!”” the fraternal twins answered in unison.

  “The fourth option,” Lyvia chimed in, “would be to retain the elitist character but expand it to the ruling families of New Eden at rge.”

  Rykard nodded. All of them were good potential angles for a negotiation strategy. It was best he decided what to go with before he was called before the head maid.