Chapter Six

  With the right amount of time passing, I eventually learned to take what was given to me, no questions asked, to make no protest. The maid, whom I learned was called Petra, made sure to visit me daily, bringing me food, a bucket, and a dagger. On days where she was in a good mood, she would even teach me. Petra, a noble's daughter, never went into details about how she ended up as a lower grade maid, but she often spoke about her respect towards The King. She was a smart woman who clearly understood the situation I was in and made it her mission to manipulate me into someone who would benefit her. She fed me, showered me with the affection I dearly missed, and even taught me her language. However, if something was obvious, it was that, as much as she wanted to be on the King's "good side," she would forget too often that she was nothing but a maid. On those days where her reality was shaken, she tended to be rougher. She traded her food and affection for as much of my blood as possible and on those bad days the dagger would dig unnecessarily deeper into my skin.

  The cycle continued, and with each passing day, the bad outnumbered the good, making Petra grow colder. Eventually, she looked at me with the same indifference Amma did, treating me as if I didn't exist. Fortunately, by the time she ceased speaking to me altogether, I had already acquired enough knowledge to read and speak.

  If there was anything I could appreciate, it was the fact that Petra never stopped bringing me food, and that the horrible cycle where I would be starved never happened again. But the dagger kept cutting deeper and deeper, the pain never died and my wounds never healed the same. Scars began marking my skin. On my legs mostly, because it was where I would bleed the easiest.

  As much as I tried, my Appa's face grew blurrier with each passing day, and it brought tears to my eyes. While I wished to forget Amma's eyes, they lingered in my mind, and Petra's eyes served as constant reminders. Like Amma's, they too were never warm.

  The day my body transformed into that of a woman marked the first time Petra spoke to me in a long while.

  "Four years have passed since you came. I've been taking care of you for four years, and this is how you repay me? Being a whore?" She was upset with me. While bathing me, she scrubbed my legs clean until they hurt, and I winced.

  Her eyes snapped up to me and then up to my hair. Without a second thought, she stood up and wrapped her hands around my hair. I only felt brusque movements and my hair falling and lightly hitting my shoulders and falling into my thin hands.

  My naked nape bared the consequence of my actions as the cold air made my body shiver.

  Around 3 days passed when I finally saw Petra again. I wasn’t able to distinguish her mood like everyday. Her expression wasn’t one that showed happiness, anger or sadness.

  “I’m sorry Petra.” I abruptly said “I didn’t mean to dirty the bed.”

  She looked at me with those cold eyes. I think her face itself showed worry but a pang of disgust covered it entirely.

  “Do you wish to take The Sun from me?”

  I was confused. The sun, Solis, belonged to no one. it covered everyone with its light. How could I take it away?

  “No Petra, the sun is yours.” I figured was the best thing to say. Her harsh expression softened the way I knew it would.

  “His Majesty The King wishes to see you. He’s found out you’ve grown and he wants to see the state of you.“ She sighed. “I won’t bathe you today. You have to stay down here and if he asks you if you want to stay above you must never say you wish to go up. Bad things will happen to you if you stay there- But if you stay with me, I will be good to you no matter what. And I’ll teach you more.”

  “Yes Petra, I want stay.” She placed her hands on my shoulder and pulled me into her embrace. I selfishly held onto her wishing it last long, but it was interrupted by the loud thumps coming from the door above.

  “Come.” She took my hand and lead me out the cell and up the stairs. When we made it up, she unlocked the door and the darkness outside was much brighter than the darkness that engulfed me in my cell below. I was slightly disappointed it hadn’t been day time to let the sun warm me. But it’s brightness would have very likely blinded me. It had after all been so long since I saw such light.

  We continued walking along with a knight for a while until we reached an entrance. I wanted to hide my excitement behind a wary expression but it was getting harder with each second. I had missed this so much I had almost completely forgotten I promised Petra I wouldn’t stay above.

  We walked up many stairs and down eternal halls, every thing looked so grandiose and majestic. The walls were adorned with intricate paintings of ancient battles and legendary heroes. The ceilings soared high above us, painted with scenes of celestial beings and constellations that seemed to twinkle in the dim candlelight. As we moved further into the depths of the palace, the air grew thick with the scent of alcohol and the distant sound of echoing footsteps.

  Finally, we arrived at a massive wooden door, its surface etched with symbols of protection and power. With a deep breath, Petra pushed it open, revealing a chamber bathed in a soft, golden light. In the end of the room stood a magnificent throne, carved from ebony and adorned with glistening gemstones.

  Seated upon the throne was a figure clad in robes of shimmering silver, their face partially obscured by the shadows

  “Your Majesty.” She said as she in extreme dedication curtsied to the ground. The knight who guided us had stayed outside.

  “I bring you the child.”

  “Leave.” She was taken aback by the request. But there was no protesting. She shot me a glare full of pleads and left the room.

  “Come here.” I reluctantly made my way towards him, afraid I was disrespecting him. I looked at him but his face was not a face I had kept in my memories.

  His features were defined and his eyes looked warm. He seemed like a kind person but his aura screamed otherwise. If it weren’t for the darkness he emitted, I would feel similarities between him and Appa. There was a different sentiment behind the way he looked me up and down. It was menacing and it made me want to cover myself from his reach. Though it was useless.

  A man who owned even the air I breathed would have no issue taking my life if it were useless to him. I would rather he forget my existence but that would be impossible.

  I was standing so close I could feel his breath on my skin. I couldn't help but hold mine. He kept scanning me for a response but I tried my hardest not to show my emotions. I’m not too sure of just how well it worked because when his hands touched my legs I almost screamed. His facial traits might’ve never registered in my head but the memories of what he did to the others would never leave me.

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  He seemed satisfied with my reaction a smirk sat on his lips. This was amusing to him. He started to inspect my body with his hands this time. Not being careful and hurting me with the pressure of his touch.

  “I thought she said you healed completely yet you’re covered in scars.” He said not really directing his word to me. His eyes stuck on the scars that covered the majority of my legs. “’ll just have to test it.” There was no second of hesitation or even for me to register what was happening when he brought the blade into my abdomen again. The clothing that was used to being stained in my blood suffered the same fate as my red blood spread out more and more. I wasn’t used to his level of violence. I tried to get away from him. It was a blur but when I made it to the door it was impossible to open it. I didn’t have to turn around to look at him to realize he was right behind me. The pain of the blade in my back was evident enough. I screamed finally losing my composure. The rest was a blur. It was so painful it made everything Petra ever did seem like child's play. My mind seemed to have blocked it because one second I was screaming in pain begging for it to end in my native tongue, and then I was laying staring at a single imperfection on the ceiling of the room a small insignificant crack no one would ever notice. When I came back to my body, The first thing I moved were my fingers. I still winced in pain at one of my fingers still being broken. It was taking so long for everything to heal after being broken repeatedly. The pain brought me back and I finally looked down to the pool of my own blood I was left in.

  “Come take her.” I hadn’t even realized he was still in the room observing me.

  “You did a good job today. I’ll let you grow before I bring you along.” Petra came in interrupting him but it seemed he said all he wanted.

  Petra's eyes shot down to my body and she seemed to look relieved I was still dressed. She didn’t help me stand, Instead she pointed at me and the guard who had lead us took my arm and dragged my body out the room as fast as possible.

  “I’ll clean right away your majesty.”

  “Don’t bother. Leave it as it is and undress.”

  I was still able to see Petra’s shy smile before the door shut. I thought I’d be dragged all the way back but instead he knelt down and held me up in his arms. There was no warmth but I appreciated it. He wouldn’t ever let me off but I appreciated it. He wasn’t a good person but I appreciated it. I needed a humane touch and although it wasn’t for long it made me remember who I was. It wasn’t the last time he held me. For years after this night the Young knight would bring me back to my chamber after the monthly arrangement I had with The King. My blood tainted his floor and right after he would lay his body in it practically inhaling it and then taking Petra as a woman. This cycle was endless. It made Petra stop visiting me. Maybe it was disgust, after all his Majesty would only touch her after having me screaming in pain in her chambers. This made a foolish girl like me, a na?ve girl like me burn in jealousy. Why couldn’t he be kind to me? He already owned me I would never disobey, so why wasn’t he taking me the way he did Petra? Petra always had a smile on her face, she loved him, so he must have been kind to her. That was all that ran through my head. If His Majesty shared only a a small bit of kindness that I could grasp onto, it would make living worth it. It would make it bearable.

  Without much more thought to it a need for him grew within me. A need for his affection.

  Four more years had passed and throughout this time my body had changed as well. I only found significance in the fact that I stood taller than Petra and that made me feel proud. Petra was no longer a friend to me, she was my competition. Even if she didn’t even speak to me.

  My hair was long and went down to my waist, after all since Petra never visited me again, she never cut it off again. I didn’t mind it. It contrasted with His Majesty’s completely black hair.

  I was being walked to the room and my heart was beating so loud I thought Petra and The Knight would hear it.

  I hid the sharp rock in my hand and hoped Petra wouldn’t notice. The knight looked down and although he realized he kept his mouth shut, like he always did.

  I bit the inside of my cheek and kept motivating myself to do it. I had decided I would speak to him. To do what Petra had asked me not to so long ago. I had been scared to ever do so but I knew that if I didn’t speak up now I would never leave the hole Petra wanted me in.

  I walked in on my own. He sat on his glorious throne at the end of the room. I walked towards him and stopped when I was far enough. I lift the sharp edge and brought it to my face. I slashed my skin hard enough to feel the hot blood drip down my face and onto my lips

  “If I bleed my cheek like this, will His Majesty have me close? and If my lips drown in the blood will His Majesty finally put his lips on mine?“

  It was a romantic confession that I knew impressed him. I could see it in his face.

  No words were said. Instead he signaled me to come to him. I followed his order. I came close until he had his grasp on me. He pulled me. I expected a violent response but instead he pulled me into his lap and nuzzles his head into my neck. His breath me in and brought shivers down my back. His hands were so warm. The hand on my waist burned my body and with the other hand he lifted my chin up he brought his lips on mine ever so gently. I couldn’t help but want to rest in his arms for ever but it wasn‘t what he had in mind and I knew this. The kiss grew more and more aggressive and I hadn’t even noticed his hand was now on my waist beneath my clothing. I couldn’t keep still and I slightly pulled away but that was a mistake. He bit down on my lip hard enough to make me taste my own blood. This only ended up with me healing up much faster.

  “Fascinating.” Was all he said and it made me feel, special. So special I didn’t feel I deserved to be holed up. His mouth moved down licking up my still dripping blood.

  “I don’t like the darkness.” Was all I was able to get out when his lips crashed back onto mine, But I was sure he heard me.

  The rest was as beastly as wild and as painful as it always had been, but the speak of affection he delivered was enough for me. This time instead of ending on the floor in a pool of my own blood, it ended in the room that connected to this one, in his bed, bare. My own blood staining His Majesty’s sheets seemed to only give him satisfaction and it transmitted into me as well.

  I didn’t realize when my body lost consciousness but when I awoke I didn’t even move afraid I’d wake from this dream, it was Petra's scream that pulled me up.

  “Your Majesty don’t do this to me! Not with that child!” Her voice came from where the throne was. I couldn’t hear his response so I stepped closer to the door.

  “You Majesty have I not given you all of me? Have I not proven myself?”

  “You let yourself become delusional.” It was his voice. “Did you perhaps think I needed you? That I loved you? That I would marry you? I’ve been a kind man and I’ve kept you here far longer than your worth as I pitied your mother who raised me. I simply kept my promise to her. bedding you was simply leisure, and understand that if it hadn’t been for the blood I covered you in, I never would’ve laid a finger tip on your skin.

  “Forgive me your majesty! I don’t plan to overstep my ground! I have a clear mind and I know you could never be mine, but why her!? Why give her the opportunity!”

  “Besides the fact that she has the upmost potential, The difference between the two of you is the fact that she belongs to me in ways that you will never.”

  “But it’s supposed to be me!”

  “I was kind enough to forgive your impertinence, but if you keep this nonsense I’ll take your head, and you know I wouldn’t hesitate.” I wanted to see them, see Petra's upset face, but when I did the door slightly moved. “It seems the child has awaken.-” He paused. “Come here.” I only obeyed. I pushed the door and walked to him not covering my body and looking nowhere else but at him. With no need for him to tell me I climbed onto his lap and tightly gripped onto him. my face nuzzled into his neck I could smell my blood on him still. It wasn’t comforting, it was disgusting.

  “I destroyed her entire life. I killed her people. I broke down her body over and over again, and I destroyed her mind. Yet her heart yearns for me the way I yearn for her blood. She’s perfection.” I peaked from him nape to look at her. I thought I’d want to scream in happiness to see her envy me, me who she abandoned, but instead I was met with the coldest eyes. She was a mess, and the image of her crying her heart out waiting for his majesty to call for her the way he usually would, didn’t cause me any happiness. I didn’t want to hurt her like this. This meant much more for her than it ever could for me.

  I hid in his nape again. It didn’t matter how she looked, at least I was going to pretend it didn’t. I hadn’t had a taste of freedom and I wouldn’t let them continue to starve me.

  Days went on with no end and I learned how it feel to be desired. He made me his over and over with no end. There was a insane happiness in me when he would gently take me in his arms and embraced me but at other points where I would be left on my own for minutes, I couldn’t help my mind from wandering into the words he had said.

  Was I forgetting what he did to my people? That I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for what? His cruelty? No, that’s wrong. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for the selfishness of the woman who birthed me. If anyone was to blame, it was her. He didn’t owe us loyalty.

  His delicate touch made my skin burn and his bites although painful were gentle. Only until the third day did we come back to reality.

  It was his speaking with Rav that awoke me from the endless dreams. The thought that I would go from the cage underground to forever belonging by His Majesties side was to vanish.

  “Petra will keep watch over her with the maids. Gift that to her and tell her I’ll call for her tonight. He was still in bed with me when he spoke to Rav. He was showing me just where I stood. That he might've chosen me then but I wasn’t important enough yet to stand by his side. Something inside me hurt and I wanted to cry but I knew better.

  Once Rav was gone, I felt his hand caress my hair.

  “You aren’t allowed to feel sadness, you aren’t allowed to feel disappointed. You aren’t allowed to feel.” He kindly whispered cruel words. But if this was what it took for him to keep me by his side, then I would only obey because a second of his kindness was precious to me who craved it like no one else.

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  Hi hello this is the end of this mini update I completed on this story, a few deets on the story, this started off as an attempt of a fanfic but slowly changed I scrapped it completely and its now what you are currently reading, I'm putting my heart and soul on this and it's been years of just reading and modifying details trying to perfect it but I finally decided to just publish it and go with it, I'm not someone too constant and I go through writers block way too often but if you like it and follow this im sure it will motivate me enough to survive any block, and if you leave some comments it will help even more, I'll read and respond any comment so if you have any questions ill do my best to answer your doubts as well, if you like it comment, if you dont too, any response is good for me cause overall i just want to connect wih people who are willing to read what has been hard to piece together, anyways if you made it this far hope you enjoyed, I'll try to post every friday and wednesday tho it may not be multiple chaps just one at a time thnks