Wait, why does my face itch? I squint against the blinding sunlight filtering through...trees? Hold up. Trees?! What the actual hell?
With a groan that sounds like a dying whale, I heave myself to a sitting position, head throbbing like a bass drop at a rave.
I shake my head, trying and failing to clear the floating purple notification window blaring my reduced stats. Great, now I'm hallucinating RPG Boxes too? That's definitely not in the travel brochure for Drunksville.
After a few false starts that nearly faceplant me into a pine tree, I wobble to my feet like a newborn foal. The crisp, clean scent of evergreen clears some of the fog from my brain as I take in my surroundings. Towering conifers surround me in every direction, their pointy branches blocking most of the cheerfully dappled sunlight from reaching the lush forest floor. It's like something out of an elven fairytale. Or that one scene in Evil Dead. God, I hope this is more Rivendell than haunted cannibal trees.
A chill runs through me that has nothing to do with the cool forest air. How the fuck did I end up teleported into an enchanted forest while blacked out? Was I roofied? Kidnapped by some freaky LARP cult? Or worse? The last thing I clearly remember is doing tequila shots with Monica at the bar, the wasted birthday girl sash still mocking me around my torso even now
The more I try to logic out my situation, the less anything makes sense. If some creeper snatched me while wasted, why dump me in a Tolkienesque national park without doing anything skeevy? Doesn't really mesh with the whole kidnapping M.O. But if this is some prank or reality show, I'm gonna have words for the jokers behind it. My head is pounding too much for this fantasy nonsense.
The purple screen stubbornly floats into view again like a clingy ex. I glare and snarl at it, "Not today, Satan. Get lost!" It flickers but remains, now bearing a new message.
System Notification: You are suffering from the Hangover debuff. STR, DEX, and INT were temporarily reduced by 15%. the Condition [Light Sensitivity](Temporary) has been added to profile
I laugh in its pixelated face. "Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass, discount World of Warcraft menu. I'm not falling for your fantasy delusion BS. Peace out."
I wave away the offending hallucination HUD and pick a random direction to start hiking, muttering to myself as I go. "Gotta find an exit to this LARPer paradise. Something normal like a Starbucks or a cell tower. Civilization or bust, baby! Coffee solves all mysteries."
With my birthday sash as an improvised bandana managing my bedhead jungle, I trudge on, stumbling over rocks and roots. At this point, I'm clinging to denial like it's my emotional support security blanket. If I don't acknowledge the floating game alerts, maybe they'll get the hint and glitch out. Gotta stay sane till I find my way back to the real world.
Without warning, a bone-chilling growl freezes me mid-step. My stomach drops into my cheap pleather boots. I slowly pivot to face the sound, hoping it's just a punk squirrel on steroids.
No such luck. Emerging from the shadowy undergrowth is horror incarnate in fluffy form - a massive wolf with two snarling heads, both sets of glowing crimson eyes glaring murderously into my soul. Strings of slobber drip from gleaming fangs that could shred me to gory confetti.
"N-nice puppy..." My voice cracks as I slowly back away, hands raised. "Double the heads, double the fun, r-right? Let's be pals! Go team Jacob! I don't suppose you know the way to the nearest coffee shop or bus station?"
In response, the slavering beast lowers its two heads and growls louder, stalking forward with deadly intent. Suddenly, my delusional RPG interface doesn't seem so funny anymore.
Dire Wolf (2-Headed Variant)
Level: 3
HP: 120/120
Even as my rapidly sobering brain screams that this can't be happening, Fluffy's evil twins keep advancing, coiled to pounce and paint the forest floor with my innards. I'm either about to die messily in my own drunken delusion or this fantasy realm is horrifyingly real.
This is officially the worst birthday ever. Thanks for the special 21st universe. I knew I should've stuck to White Claw.
My heart races as the dire wolf pounces, barely missing me as I dive out of the way at the last second. The jarring impact sends shockwaves of pain through my hungover body.
Cursing, I scramble to my feet and take off running, crashing through the dense underbrush in blind panic. Grasping branches whip at my face and snag on my clothes like clawed fingers as I careen through the trees that seem to close in on me. I barely feel the stinging cuts over the adrenaline surge.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
I gasp out between ragged breaths. Black spots dance in my vision. The headache is getting worse but I push myself to keep moving, ignoring my body's screaming protests.
System Notification: Condition [Migrane(Temporary)] has been added to profile PER, and DEX temporally reduced by 15%
"Fuck you!" I shouted. I wish these windows would leave me alone
Up ahead, the suffocating trees finally thin out into a rocky clearing with a steep drop-off. A desperate idea hits me. If I can't outrun this thing, maybe I can outsmart it.
I put on one last burst of speed, fighting the urge to vomit as the cliff's edge rushes to meet me. Gravel skitters underfoot, threatening to send me tumbling. At the last possible second, I dodge left, sliding on the loose scree in a wild, uncontrolled skid. The wolf, unable to brake its barreling momentum, overshoots the edge with a startled yelp.
A horrid crunch sounds from the gorge below, followed by a weak whine that cuts off abruptly. I inch forward and peek over the side to see the broken beast lying in an unnatural heap on the jagged rocks, its two heads bent at nauseating angles amidst a growing pool of dark blood.
System Notification: Dire Wolf (Level 3) defeated. EXP earned. + Bonus EXP for defeating an enemy above your level
System Notification: No Class or Profession found EXP lost
I stare at the floating notifications, my mind struggling to process what just happened. A mixture of relief and horror washes over me as I realize I've somehow survived a deadly encounter straight out of a nightmare.
Shaking uncontrollably, I collapse to my knees at the cliff's edge, bile rising in my throat from the sickening sight below. The reality of this twisted, game-like world presses down on me, seeping through the cracks of my disbelief.
I can't stay here any longer. I need to find a place to rest and some water, too. I'm: I am still feeling the effects of all that drinking. I muster the strength to stand, pushing aside the lingering effects of alcohol that continue to cloud my mind. Despite the throbbing headache and the queasiness in my stomach, survival instincts kick in, urging me to move forward.
Taking one last glance at the grotesque scene below, I turn away, my eyes searching for any sign of civilization in this strange realm. The surrounding landscape is desolate, with no visible path or shelter in sight. The realization dawns upon me that I am truly alone in this unforgiving world.
With a deep breath, I start my journey, stumbling over uneven terrain as I navigate through the rugged wilderness. Every step feels heavy, my body weakened by both physical and emotional exhaustion. The scorching sun beats down on me mercilessly, sapping what little energy I have left.
After what seems like hours of walking, trying to stay as quiet a possible, to not draw the attention of any predators in this forest, I hear what sounds like running water in the distance. I increase my pace, my thirst driving every step. A few minutes later, I arrive at a river and I cannot hold back any longer. Heedless of everything else I run up to edge and start cuping the water in my hands gulping it down as if it was the necter of the gods, and as har as im concerned it might as well be.
As the cool water touches my parched lips, a wave of relief washes over me. The physical effects of my intense thirst begin to subside, replaced by a soothing sensation spreading through my body. A sense of rejuvenation courses through my veins, as if each gulp of water is replenishing not just my thirst, but also my energy and vitality.
With each swallow, my dry throat becomes moist, the discomfort and scratchiness dissipating. My mouth, once devoid of moisture, is now coated with the refreshing taste of the river water. I can almost feel the hydration seeping into every cell, revitalizing me from within.
As the water travels down my throat, a comforting coolness spreads through my chest and abdomen. The sensation spreads like tendrils, soothing the heat that had built up from hours of exertion. The relief is palpable, as if my body is letting go of tension and stress, surrendering to the revitalizing power of the water.
My senses awaken, sharpened by the rush of hydration. The sound of the flowing river becomes more distinct, the gentle gurgling creating a tranquil symphony that drowns out the worries and weariness that had plagued me moments ago. The touch of the water against my skin sends ripples of delight, as if my body is rejoicing in the simple pleasure of being quenched.
With each cupped handful of water, I can feel the weight of my exhaustion lifting, replaced by a newfound lightness. The weariness that had settled in my bones dissipates, replaced by a subtle surge of energy. It's as if the water is not only quenching my thirst but also revitalizing my entire being, infusing me with a renewed sense of determination and resilience.
The physical effects of my intense thirst slowly give way to a state of calm contentment. As the river continues to flow, I realize that I just drank a ton of unfiltered, unpurified river water. At least it running water that's something at least. I really hope I don't get sick, or get a parasite. But now that I think of it, I recovered way too quickly just from drinking water. It's only been 5 minutes, but it feels like the dehydration is already gone. The headache is gone as well.
As if prompted by her words a system message appered.
System notification: Hangover has been cured Condition [Migrane(Temporary)] and Condition [Light Sensitivity(Temporary)] have been removed. All stats have returned to normal values.
Now that I can actually think again, it is about time I figured out what is going on. I used to be an avid gamer. I should have character screen, or a profile or something. Maybe it was called a status. Athe those words a new box appered
Name: Victoria Wiseman
Age: 21
Race: Human
Level: 0
HP: 100/100
Mana: 120/120
—
[Titles]:
- [System Awakened]
[Class - (N/A)]: None
[Class Skills - (N/A)]: None
[Profession - (N/A)]: None
[Profession Skills - (N/A)]: None
[Traits]:
- [Wiseman's Constitution(Degraded)]
- [Wiseman's Blood(Degraded)]
- [Wiseman's Intuition(Degraded)]
[Conditions]: None
—
[Stats]
STR: 6
DEX: 10
END: 8
VIT: 10
INT: 12
WIS: 8
WIL: 5
Wait, what is [Wiseman's Constitution(Degraded)] and [Wiseman's Blood(Degraded)] and what the hell does Degraded mean?