In the early morning twilight, birds chirped their merry song as they woke up from the night's rest. However, this morning would be somewhat peculiar for a few of them nesting by a nice, two-story home.

  Normally, everything was fairly quiet this early in the morning, with only the occasional car to disturb their peace. But that wasn't true today. Today, there was a constant tapping sound as something small continuously pelted a window. What is this sound that disturbs the local wildlife you might be asking. Well, to put it simply…

  It's me. That's right, big shocker, Ushio's up to something stupid again, but hear me out. This time, it isn't stupid at all. You see, normally I wouldn't wish being up this early on my worst enemies, because mornings freakin' suck. But that choice was stripped from me, stolen by a little, blonde demon who hates trees.

  If that statement confused you, allow me to explain further. You see, this world has a special kind of tree that grows big and strong during the night, reaching full maturity by morning. Because of this, scholars have called this mysterious tree, Morning Wood.

  Hiyori is apparently allergic to Morning Wood. Her loud screaming woke me up and her violence prevented me from going back to sleep. And so, left with no other choice, I wandered the cold, unforgiving streets of Karakura.

  As I was doing this, I had, what one might call, a thought. Since I have nothing better to do and I don't really want to listen to Hiyori bitch at me about my choice of plant life, I decided now was the perfect time to get started on Tatsuki's training. And thanks to my handy dandy Map feature, finding her home was as easy as pie.

  Now I just have to hope I have the right window, because while the Map shows her icon at this location, it doesn't tell me the exact room. I just know she's somewhere inside. So, with my abundant, overflowing luck, I picked up some pebbles and started throwing them at her window.

  Almost feels like I'm in a rom com. But if that were the case, then there was no way I would have picked the right window, and something ridiculous would happen, like her dad popping up and threatening to call the police. But what are the chances of that?

  Would you look at that, the neighbors have a little red flag sticking out of a bird house. How cute.

  But that's not important. Bird watching can wait, because I spy with my little eye movement coming from the window. Putting on my best Ushio grin, I stand there confidently, awaiting the sight of the illustrious tomboy herself.

  Only instead of a tomboy, it's just a boy. An angry boy with a mustache and a baseball bat. Huh… guess this is the wrong window after all. Either that, or Tatsuki's packing something I want no part of.

  "Who the hell are you? What are you doing at my house at this hour?" the man asked. Oh boy, that was not the girl he was looking for. But maybe, just maybe, he knew where to find her.

  "Hello sir, good morning. You wouldn't happen to know where Tatsuki is on this brisk and chilly morning, would you?" I ask, switching my sexy smile to a polite one. He wasn't my type, and I am way out of his league anyway, so it's not like he deserved it.

  "Tatsuki? What the hell do you want with my daughter?" he growled. I wondered if maybe she had spoken about me. That would certainly explain the hostility if she had.

  "I was hoping to engage in vigorous physical activity that would leave us both sweaty and out of breath, if you know what I mean," I tell him with a grin, crossing my arms over my chest.

  Everything went quiet for a bit, as he just stared at me, mouth agape and eyes wide. It puzzled me. Why was he looking at me like that? Did I have something on my face? I made sure the gremlin didn't draw anything on me, so that's not it. Maybe it was something I said? But all I said was I wanted to train with her. What's wrong with that?

  "You… you… little bastard! How dare you come to my house in the middle of the night and try to seduce my daughter! Get out of here before I call the police!" he shouted. Several sleepy birds resting in the trees took off in a panic from his shout, and I was pretty sure the neighbors heard every word.

  But what the hell is he talking about? Sure I plan to seduce her, but that's incremental. Day by day, you know? Why would he think I'm here for a booty call? I mean, it's a nice booty, fantastic even, but that's not what I'm here for.

  Just as I opened my mouth to ask what he was smoking, the window next to his opened up, and an irritated girl, the one I was looking for, popped her head out, looking about as grumpy as grumpy could be.

  "What the hell is all the yelling for!? I'm trying to sleep," she yelled, glaring at her dad. Well, if the neighbors weren't up before, they sure as hell are now.

  "Why don't you ask this little pervert I caught trying to sneak into your room!?" her dad yelled. Now that was just blatantly false. Total slander. I was not trying to sneak into her room, I was trying to sneak off with her. Completely different.

  Tatsuki looked down, confusion written all over her face as she laid eyes on me.

  "Ushio?"

  "Yo," I called back, raising my hand in greeting.

  "What the hell are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked, glaring at me. I did, in fact, know what time it was. The clock on my Minimap read 5:15 A-freaking-M.

  "I do, ya. Why? Is this a bad time?" I called back to her, getting a disbelieving look in return. I'll take that as a yes.

  "Is this a-yes it's a bad freaking time! What are you doing here!?"

  "I just thought we could train a little, you know? Get a head start on powering up and defending the world from evil," I say, making a heroic pose. I don't think Tatsuki saw it as very heroic, though, as she face palmed and groaned in despair.

  "Tatsuki, do you know this boy?" he father asked, still glaring at me.

  "Unfortunately. This is Ushio, the guy I told you about," she said, voice sounding a little strained as she introduced me. Aha, so she has spoken of me.

  "Hello! Nice to meet you!" I yelled at him, chipper. How does a person who despises the morning sound so goddamn happy you might be asking. Easy; coffee. Enough to kill a bull elephant or turn it into the Flash, one or the other.

  "You be quiet! Are you trying to tell me this is the guy who saved Karin? He doesn't look like much," Mr. Arisawa said, making me pout. That's just because I'm in an oversized hoodie so he couldn't see my muscles. It's also dark out, otherwise he would be in awe of my stature.

  "That's him dad. Look, I'm glad you're so enthusiastic about training and all, but it's five in the freaking morning. Why did you think this was a good idea?" Tatsuki asked, making me shrug.

  "Well I was already up and wandering around the city with nothing to do, so I thought, 'Hey, why not go and see Tatsuki and get an early sweat going?' And here I am," I say, proud of myself. But I was the only one.

  "You have got to be kidding me. Why are you even up this early?" Tatsuki moaned.

  "Oh, well… you know… just because," I tell her, looking away. Tatsuki raised an eyebrow, giving me a suspicious look.

  "Just because? Really? Why don't I believe you? And is that a black eye?" she asked, sounding genuinely surprised, and dare I say it, worried. How sweet.

  "...Maybe," I inform her. I didn't really want to explain to her that while sharing a bed with another woman there was an incident involving the sudden appearance of Morning Wood which caused her to fly into a rage and punch me in the face. Even I know it's too early for that conversation, in more ways than one.

  "How? Who could even give you a black eye?" she asked. Again, not a conversation I wanted to have at the moment. I'm kind of cursing myself for forgetting to use Healing Hands on myself.

  "Does it matter? Do you want to train or not?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. Judging by the look on her face, I'm going to take a wild guess and say she knows exactly what I'm doing.

  "My daughter won't be going anywhere with-"

  "Sure, I'll be down in a minute," Tatsuki interrupted, much to her father's shock. Seriously, he looked like he just learned the Earth is round, or saw a video of Santa hooking up with the Tooth Fairy. Creepy shit, let me tell you.

  "What, Tatsuki, you can't be serious. You want to go with him?" her dad asked, pointing a very accusing finger at me. What he was accusing me of exactly was anyone's guess.

  "Sure, I'm up now anyway, and I doubt I'll be getting back to sleep anytime soon. Just let me get changed and we can go," Tatsuki said, closing the window and shutting the curtains.

  Clever girl.

  "Tatsuki! Hey, Tatsuki! You come back here right this instant young lady! I forbid it! Do you hear me! Forbid!" her dad continued to yell. However, Tatsuki did not make another appearance at the window, much to his chagrin, and I could see the shadow of movement as she got ready.

  "You!" shouted her dad, once more pointing at me. I looked around before pointing to myself, as if asking, "Me?"

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  "Yes you! Listen up, if you do anything to hurt my daughter, I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish! Do you understand me!?" he asked.

  "Define hurt. Because she's going to be pretty sore once I'm done with her," I say, thinking about the exercises I had planned. Maybe even a little spar if there's time.

  "What!?"

  "Oh, but don't worry. I have protection in case things get a little too rough," I tell him, hoping that would assuage whatever fears he had. But considering I could see the vein pulsing in his forehead, I don't think I succeeded.

  That can't be good for his blood pressure.

  "Why you no dirty, rotten, no good little bastard. Just you wait, when I get down there, I'm going to give you a thrashing," he promised, shaking his fist at me like an old man telling kids to get off his lawn. Which he kind of was.

  But that's when the door opened and Tatsuki herself revealed herself in all her tomboy glory. She was wearing a pretty basic workout outfit, consisting of a dark blue tracksuit. Good, because it was a bit chilly out.

  "Alright, let's do this," she said, closing the door and stepping into the night. Her expression was somewhat annoyed, probably because of the early hour, which I get, but she still seemed happy to see me.

  "Awesome, let's go," I said enthusiastically. Man that coffee is good shit. Wonder what it was laced with?

  "What do you think you're doing young lady!? I said I forbid it!" her dad shouted, but was completely ignored by the girl.

  "Ok, see you later dad! Tell mom I went out with a friend," she said, only for a new voice from inside her parents room to let itself be known.

  "Have fun dear!"

  Must be her mom.

  "How could you say that? Have you seen the guy she's leaving with? He looks like he's part of a gang!" her dad shouted in utter disbelief. Well, he's not exactly wrong…

  "Honey, come back to bed. Tatsuki's a big girl, she can take care of herself," Mrs. Arisawa said, exasperated.

  "Come on, let's get out of here," Tatsuki whispered. Nodding, I followed along, making our way from the house.

  "Hey! Don't you run away from me! Get back here!" her dad shouted as we left, only to fall out of the window into the bushes below.

  "Um, should we…" I ask, gesturing to the moaning man in the rose bushes. Now you know that had to hurt.

  "He's fine," she said, waving me off. "More importantly, what's the plan? For your sake, it better be worth getting me up so damn early."

  "Threat recognized and received. I figured we could start with a nice, simple jog to get nice and warmed up," I told her. She raised an eyebrow but shrugged. Jogging was used in basically every sport known to man to increase cardiovascular endurance, so it wasn't that out of the ordinary.

  Too bad for her, she didn't know of my plan to spice things up a bit.

  "Alright, sounds good," she said before letting out a loud, yawn. Seeing my chance, I used my considerable Stealth Skill, honed from hours upon hours of creeping up and murdering ogres to sneak up behind her. When she stopped yawning, she opened her eyes and looked around, only to see me nowhere in sight.

  "Ushio?" she asked, confused, and I knew that was my opportunity. With a big grin on my face, I leapt up onto the girl's back, much to her shock, and wrapped my arms and legs around her.

  "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" she cried, involuntarily holding me up.

  "Just making things a little more challenging for you. Don't tell me you can't handle it?" I tease, landing a critical hit to her pride.

  "Grr, fine! I'll show you what I'm made of!" she declared.

  "Thatta girl! Now mush!" I yelled, pointing forwards. She took off at a sprint, anger fueling her speed. Not sure if that was the right choice, but it was hers to make. And to her credit she made it pretty far. But it wasn't long before the telltale signs of her gassing out could be heard.

  She sounded like a chain smoker walking up a flight of stairs because the elevator went out. Her gasping wheezes made me slightly concerned.

  "Hey Tatsuki? You alright? Need me to get down?" I ask, not trying to tease her. And yet, I'm pretty sure that's the way she took it.

  "Like hell I do! This is nothing!" she claimed, speeding up. I had a feeling I would be carrying her home after this. Oh well, that just means she got in a proper workout.

  Tatsuki managed to sprint a whole mile before she petered out. She slowed down to a jog for the next mile and to a walk for the third. By that time, she was done. She was shaking so bad as she held me up it almost felt like I was in an earthquake.

  "Ok, I think that's enough. You proved me wrong," I said. Seemingly satisfied by my admission of loss, she let me down, falling onto her back and taking desperate gasps of air. Looking around, I noticed we were at a playground, the dull glow from the streetlamp illuminated the surrounding area.

  Scanning the environment, I saw something that made me grin.

  "Perfect!" I shouted, walking towards it. Hearing my shout, Tatsuki gave me a look, probably worried about what had me so excited.

  "Monkey bars? Really?" she asked, not bothering to get up. I turn back to her with a grin.

  "That's right, the poor man's pull up machine! You can do quite a bit with these babies, especially if you're into calisthenics," I told her. Seeing the look of doubt in her eyes, I decided a demonstration was in order.

  Reaching up, I grabbed hold of the bars and started to do pull ups. Just the regular ones for now, but I could change my position almost however I wanted to due to the way the equipment was made.

  "See! It's as easy as one, two, hey!" I shout, startled. Turning my head, I see a mischievously grinning Tatsuki clinging to my back, adding her weight to my own.

  "What's wrong? I'm just making things a little more challenging for you. Don't tell me you can't handle it?" she teased. Guess turnabout's fair play. Alright, fine, if that's the way she wanted to play then count me in!

  "A little thing like you? Easy," I remark, before continuing my pullups. I was originally only planning to do a few to prove a point, but now I have an entirely different point to prove.

  Point proven at 110.

  Letting go of the bar, I fall to my hands and knees as Tatsuki hops off my back, nearly falling over due to the weakness in her own legs.

  "How was that?" I ask, giving her a cocky look. She rolled her eyes at me, but she still had a grin on her face. Made me wonder if she enjoyed riding me. I sure enjoyed riding her.

  "Not bad. Your form could use some work," she replied. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. Everyone's a critic.

  "I'll keep that in mind. Now chop, chop! It's your turn! We're burning the midnight oil!"

  "It's morning."

  "Not important! Just get up on those bars young lady!"

  Sighing, she did as commanded. Since her arms were already pretty tired from carrying me for three miles, she only managed to get about 20. Not bad all things considered, but she seemed pretty disappointed by the number. We did a few more sets, with her getting 50 in total while I got 300.

  Next we used the bars to do upside down sit-ups. She did better than me on this one. I may have had rock hard abs that you could grate cheese on, but the extra weight caused by my muscles wasn't doing me any favors. Two hundred was enough for me, while she got around 250.

  By now the sun was starting to rise. We needed to get home and shower soon, otherwise we'd be going to school a sweaty mess. And while I didn't care all that much, Tatsuki sure as hell did. Guess she did have a girly side after all.

  But before that, we ended our impromptu training session with a little spar. Both of us were tired, her more so than me, but that didn't stop the grins from forming on our faces. I was quite a bit stronger than the last time we fought and my Street Fighter Skill was a few levels higher as well so things were certainly stacked in my favor.

  That being said, Tatsuki was good. Very good. With one kick blurring into the next. She seemed to have learned from our last encounter, keeping me at a distance with those long, long legs of hers.

  Still, even with the bullshit amount of Criticals Karate gave, I had Hp to spare. Not really, because those kicks took a decent chunk out every time, but I was still pretty beefy. That being said, Tatsuki decided to not play fair.

  "So, are you going to tell me about that black eye yet?" she asked. Her question surprised me, and I barely avoided a kick aimed right at my face.

  "You're still on about that?" I ask, exasperated. I threw a punch at her, which she deflected and spun around to try and backhand me in my perfect jawline. I leaned back to avoid the blow, gaining some distance from her.

  "What can I say? I'm curious. You got dragged through town by a motorcycle without so much as a scratch, and yet you show up at my house with a black eye. How could that not get my attention?" she questioned. Ok, fair point. But if I tell her, I'll probably get a matching set. Raccoons are cute, but I don't want to look like one.

  She won't get mad, trust me.

  Hearing her voice, I stumble a bit, getting a punch to the ribs for my effort.

  "Not the best time Sarah," I say in my head, trying to uppercut the woman in front of me. Of course, she did a backflip to avoid it. Show off.

  It's the perfect time! I can't think of a better chance to start your harem.

  I growl at her in my head, blocking a one-two combination from Tatsuki. Fine, looks like I'm not getting out of this one. I just need to make sure to guard my balls.

  "If you really want to know, I got a new roommate and we had a little… disagreement this morning," I say to her. Tatsuki was so surprised by this new revelation she actually dropped her guard, which gave me the perfect opportunity to strike.

  "Wait, new roommate? Since when?" she asked, before quickly crossing her arms in front of her chest to block my punch. She skidded back a few feet, but seemed otherwise fine. Her Health barely took a hit.

  "Last night. There are some… extenuating circumstances shall we say." And wasn't that putting it mildly. Being spied on by a mad scientist was pretty extenuating if I do say so myself.

  Tatsuki threw a straight punch in my direction, which I grabbed, twisting my body and yanking her forward. I then wrapped my arms around her from behind, pinning her arms against her.

  "Extenuating circumstances huh?" she said, trying to wiggle her way out of my grasp. If she wasn't careful, she might catch a glimpse of the elusive Morning Wood, just as Hiyori did.

  "Something like that," I reply, holding her tight. I really hope no one's around to see this, because this looks suspicious as all hell. The only thing preventing this from looking like a crime scene is that she wasn't screaming for help.

  She did try and headbutt me with the back of her head though.

  "I see," she said, giving up. Looks like I won another round.

  "So what's his name?"

  Her question made me freeze. Yeah, freeze is a good word for it. Tatsuki must have felt it, because she turned and gave me a curious look. Feeling my grip weaken, just a little, gave her all the opportunity she needed to toss me onto my back.

  Guess we'll call it even.

  Feeling a weight on top of me, I look up into the curious brown eyes of Tatsuki Arisawa. Well shit, looks like I can't avoid it. Worse still, this position would make it hard to protect my balls.

  "Um, it's not a he, per say," I reveal, making her eyebrows rise in surprise.

  "So a girl then?" she asked, purely for clarification. She didn't seem mad, which was good, merely curious. Maybe my balls would be safe after all.

  "From my understanding she is a girl, yes."

  There was a bit of an awkward silence as we stared at each other. Now I don't particularly mind having a beautiful girl on top of me, but this wasn't how I envisioned it. Being interrogated, I mean. Getting weird after a spar is definitely something I've thought about.

  "So, what's her name?"

  "Hiyori."

  "And why did she give you a black eye?" Tatsuki asked. You know, I was really hoping she would have forgotten about that, but of course my luck wouldn't be that good.

  "Uh… Well, the thing is… I only have one bed, you see, and she refused to take the couch. And there was no way I was taking it and not my bed. It's really comfortable you see, so we ended up sharing somehow. Then along comes morning and my home suddenly has a redwood in it," I explain in a mad babble. I wonder if she understood what I was trying to say?

  Her brows furrowed as she thought over my words, trying to figure out what the hell I was rambling on about. But she must be fluent in gibberish because her eyes widened and her face flushed pink.

  Yeah, I think she got it.

  There was another awkward pause as neither of us knew what to do.

  "So… You're not… mad, are you?" I ask, somewhat fearing the answer. If she was, then she was in the perfect position to deck me in whichever eye she pleased. And if she wasn't, that means Sarah would be correct. Not sure which is worse if I'm honest.

  Tatsuki opened her mouth to speak but stopped, thinking it over. She seemed confused as her mouth opened and closed several times without a single word coming out. Eventually, she seemed to give up, letting out a sigh..

  "I feel like I should be, but I'm not. I don't know why…" she muttered, and I felt my butthole, the one I had been clenching without realizing it, relax.

  "However…" she said, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring down at me. And butthole had been re-clenched.

  "I want to meet her."

  …Yup, I am totally fucked.