Christmas? What’s that? You mean the season when corporations gouge customers because some ancient tradition society refuses to give up on, forcing everyone further into debt to avoid becoming a social pariah? We stopped doing that when dad lost his job when I was a kid, that was the year they had to tell us Santa wasn’t real either. I’ll stick to celebrating the spaghetti monsters first boil thanks.
-Some grumpy guy in an overly cheery mall at some point, probably.
*****
Cassy was hanging upside down from the underside of Time Flies, dressed in her winter camouflage motley. Which really just meant predominantly whites and blues instead of every colour conceivable, her puffball pigtails waved gently in the breeze. The snowy plains of northern Saskatchewan below her were filled with the chaos of fund-raising.
All the usuals were there; toddling balloon animals, crisp lines of tin toys, mechano arms with joy buzzers held in hand, great plastic flowers spraying colourful chemicals. Bike and Sgt. Fluffle raced around the outer rim, launching pies, t-shirts, and confetti bombs into the fray, while Trashy the Bag munched his way through the horde.
There were newer friends too, rolling balls of socks that wrapped around wrung the juices out of the plant monsters below. Along with the many myriad members of the Misfits Menagerie, lead bravely by Tin Toy Tom from his command post atop 5mac’s squeaky dog bone turret.
Cassy held the mallet end of her hammer to her shoulder and sighted down the shaft like it was a rifle. “Pshew” She vocalised, while mimicking kickback. Down below a model 11 that had been starting a diving run burst apart in a shower of glitter and confetti. “Yus” Cassy hopped down and up, pumping her fist. “Who said hammers don’t have good range?”
“Oh! I just had the best Idea Barty. We are close to Calgary. We should sneak Issi out of the house and then go see if we can find Santa’s workshop! Just as soon as we finish cleaning all this up. Good carnivals don’t leave messes, just happy memories.”
*****
Issi was curled up in her favorite froggy blanket, clutching her favorite froggy toy, while following along with Mr. Froggingtons lesson on her favorite froggy tablet. A look of deep concentration on her face. “No, I get the rhyme scheme My Froggington. I just don’t understand why there is a red fish and a blue fish together. Last week you said schools of fish were only one species.”
Mr. Froggingtons eyes flashed brightly for a moment. “We can discuss the vagrancies of literary licence later perhaps, at the moment it appears you are getting a call from Ms. Cassy.”
“Yay!! Put her through!” Issi cried excitedly, her red fish blue fish conundrum forgotten, for the moment.
Issi’s favorite frog tablet’s screen fuzzed briefly, and literally, for a moment, cleared up to show a scene of Cassy the Clown laying splayed out like a starfish in the snow. “Hey Issi! I taught the crew how to turn confetti into real snow! Didn’t want to leave a bare patch out here, fresh snow is so much prettier than brown grass.”
“Hi Cassy! Where are you? What are you doing? Got any new frogs?”
Cassy held up three fingers, and ticked them off as she spoke. “Northern Saskatchewan, Making snow angels, cheese shaped frogs”
Cassy swished her arms a few times in the snow, staring up at the falling flakes. “So, I was thinking, wanna get kidnapped and try to find Santa’s workshop?”
Issi giggled at Cassy’s words, kicking her feet as she laughed. “Hehehe, you don’t have to play pretend with me Cassy, I know Santa isn’t real.”
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Cassy’s white gloved hands reached out and grabbed the sides of the screen, pulling it close until all Issi could see was the suddenly sad clown's face. “Oh No! Not you too Issi! The evil money grubbing greedy evil greedy terrible money evil grubbing corporations and their terrible no good absolutely bad marketing schemes stole Santa from you, just like everyone else! I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad, that even the tiny tots have forgotten how to believe! Well don’t you worry, we are going to fix this. Even if I have to call in every friend and favour, if I have to make toys until my gloves bleed, even; even if I have to spend the entire moon shoe budget, we are going to bring back the truth of Christmas again, and make everyone Believe!”
By the end of her impassioned speech Cassy was standing proudly as tall as she could, one gloved hand raised high in a fist, a determined look on her face as she stared off into the distance. It lasted barely a breath before she melted back into her usual grinning self. “So Teddy’s got a big workshop right? Think she’d mind if we borrowed it for a little while?”
Cassy’s grin was infectious, and Issi’s face soon mirrored it. Maybe Christmas for the undercity could be more than scrounging through leftovers, and fighting over the least worn out toys dropped from the city above this year. “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to help out. We’ll make this the best Christmas the city has seen in… EVER!”
The clown tilted her head in puzzlement. “City? Santa does the whole world Issi, if we are going to try and help people believe again, so will we.”
“Oh, yeah. We are going to need sooo much more help. I don’t think even all of Teddy’s bears working together can handle a world of toys. We are going to need more friends.
“Right you are Issi, we need all the friends to come together for this.” A mad glint grew in the corner of Cassy’s eyes, she threw her arms wide and her head tilted back, a deep echoing laughter crawled up from her chest. “Muaha… oh wait. No maniacal laughter, it’s fun, but it scares the audience.”
“Barty!” She cried striking a dramatic pose. “Empty the wallets, dump out the coin purses, and the money bags, sell the Van Gough, and the van stop, but not the mystery van, it’s too cute.”
“Plus it’s great for road trips.” Replied Barty through a speaker hanging from a nearby drone.
“Yes, it’s great for road trips! This won’t be a road trip though, for this endeavor;” Cassy paused dramatically, “We don't need roads.”
“Do you think they’d let us drive it along the Great Wall in China?”
At this point Issi’s full bodied laughter had rolled her out of her favorite frog blanket. “You are getting distracted Cassy. How are we going to save Christmas?” She asked through fits of giggling.
“Right, thank you Sub-Boss Issi, I knew there was a reason I promoted you.”
“Barty! Purchase. The Friend Finder!”
“Purchasing Friend Finder!
The camera on Issi’s tablet panned to face away from Cassy where a large clear tub materialized in a burst of confetti, flying forward to peer inside as white gloves lifted the top. Inside was spool upon spool of colourful thread, and a small paperback book, with “How to make Friendship bracelets” In bright bubble letters on the cover.
“How does thread and a book help us find people to help?” Issi asked, somewhere between incredulous and hopeful.
“Easy! You make a bracelet while thinking of the sort of person you want to be your friend, or get help from. Once you are done, you release it into the sky, and it brings you back the friend you need most! I’ll show you soon, we are on our way to Calgary now!”
The tablet screen fuzzed again in a brief burst of white plush fur, returning to the lesson from before. “Um, I guess we are going to have a lot of company Mr. Froggington, should we let Jane know?”
*****
In a little cabin in the mountains of Vermont an old Samurai perked up in her rocking chair. “Wylfredd, break out the cocoa tanker, and the extra large cookie sheets. My grandma sense is tingling.”
“Affirmative Samurai Gram Gram, preceding to warm up engines and ovens. Shall I inform them we are coming?”
“And ruin the surprise Wylf? Where would the fun be in that?”
“Correct, you are Samurai Gram Gram, you are as wise as always.”
“Ten years, and still such a stick in the mud, and was that a crack at my age?”
*****
The Story Continues in the hands of other authors…
Fata-Morgana!
Maniacs Mayhem!
TBoB!!
