Beginning this shy conversation with a combination of explanation and question on ‘My name is Wendy and coming in for a job interview today.’ There is a pause between our eye contact and he replies me with an action on grab his phone out of the pocket and calling someone. Nervousness from whether should being here or not are shaking my heart as it is pounding out from my ribs cage. Ears opens up for absorb information as seeing his mouth starts to move. He is explaining to the listener that there is person waiting to be interviewed in the shop. When his phone off his ear without any spoken words and meeting up his eye up with my eye. There is a quick thought of him attempting to transfer an message from the phone call. But he says ‘Someone is coming now’ before he focuses on his phone again. He sits back down on the wooden seat.
His response calm my anxiety from concerning being in the wrong place and time. Despite the fact that checking the time on phone in advance, concern rises up if thing did not go expected. Many creative questions are producing mentally to scare my coward soul. Tiny weak soul is hurting by overwhelming questions because there is no answers to these imaginary questions.
Air is flowing around with silence. Fridges behind are shouted as grumpy old man mourning while decided to hiding myself away from the counter. Seeking a safe and great spot for hiding and put myself in front of the small corner next to the fridge. This makes me feel comfortable and safe without disturbing cashier’s concentration on his phone. Eye is following my curiosity about the types of product in shelf, eye on the packaging of the products. They are beauty products such as masks, moisture cream from Korea or Japan are up on the shelf. The emptiness of the shelf kind of give me pulse on owner might be selling this shop since some of the products are covering with tiny dust. Also, quantity of products is a warning sign for the stability of this job.
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Although the given wages is a joke, scenes from emails from job rejections to conversations about getting job for living is my responsibility is flashing in my brain. It is a catalyst for pushing me getting this job as become financial independent. Kind of hitting my consciousness on the ground without any hopes. Life is cruel. My mom has trained me to face reality by asking me and my sister to work during summer holidays. Teaching me how taxation works by asking half of wages in summer holidays.
Hiding myself in the corner next to fridge while reviewing myself internally. Poor shelf with insufficient beauty product avoid customers steps in for shopping. Linking back the idea from lack of money to the massage of someone is coming to interviewing you soon from the male cashier acts as horror order a ghost chasing up me. My heart is pounding as quick as attempting to break out from my chest. My brain started to produce various questions from why the interviewer are not in the shop to does the interviewer going to fail me until there footstep sounds bring me back to reality.
It is a man. He is approaching to the middle line in a group of shelfs in the shop and shelf covers his appearance. My quick though of this is customer is approved by his action of walking straight to the shelf. Scanning around for disrupting my automatic question generator working. Shelf is full of spaces with some spaces left for the goods. Different shelves have different situations. The loneliness of goods is demonstrating by the emptiness of the shelf. Previous though on this shop is going to be abandoned by its boss rises up again in my brain.
Cashier comes in my sight breaks into my thinking while looking around. He is sitting down quietly with his phone on. Head down as calm as rooting his concentration on his world with phone. Man walks out with his empty hand does not manage to bother him. Silence in air is the nutrient for question generator operating and cannot stop even giving its notice of stop thinking. Questions without answer are accumulated mentally, tension builds up gradually in my body.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
