[ WELCOME TO CONDUITTON ]

  [ WELCOME TO NEW OHMSBURY ]

  [ WELCOME TO AMPLIFORD ]

  Apparently, the Welcome message is all I need to ‘visit’ a town or city. At least as far as the Path Quest is concerned.

  So I’ve been zipping all over the place just doing that. I haven’t stayed anywhere long enough to be noticed. Even if I was, no one could possibly determine the purpose or pattern to my movements since there is none. I’m just going wherever I feel like, as decided whenever I get the next message.

  Sometimes, that’s the closest other town. Sometimes, I just pick a random angle and go that way. Sometimes I just keep going in a straight line through several towns in a row like I did just then. The Quest hasn’t completed yet, but this whole area is fucking massive.

  And unlike the Joulelands, it’s all more or less flat. Well, not exactly. There’s no floating islands anymore, but there’s still a lot of verticality going on and ziplines set up to navigate the sheer cliffs littering the landscape. Like the aftermath of an Apex-sized toddler playing with blocks.

  The electricity pun names have long since run together too. Some of the towns and cities look really cool though. Like the whole place is just filled to the brim with tourist traps. Except this is Heaven, so the tourist traps are actually pretty badass. If I can swing it without getting caught, I’ll have to circle back to that techno-waterslide city from the other day. What was it called again?

  [ WELCOME TO VOLTSMOUTH ]

  Fuck. I just realized. I don’t remember the name. How am I even gonna… Okay, now I’m depressed.

  It’s in that depression, zipping through the sky at lightning speed, scanning the relatively cubic landscape in pure melancholy, that I spot it.

  A purple bubble. There are a lot of those in the spaces between tourist traps. But this is by far the smallest I’ve ever seen. Like, it’s a spec from up here. Only visible because nothing else for dozens of miles is even remotely close to purple.

  Specifically lacking the ability to shrug, I stop. “Go.”

  And just like that, give or take, I’m floating right next to the gazebo-sized half-buried ball.

  With a jerk of my leg, I fall to the ground, even as I start walking with that same motion. I’m actually getting kinda smooth with that…

  Entering the dungeon, it’s… Exactly as big inside as it is outside. In fact, there’s nothing here. Just a circle on the ground forming a kind of indented donut between the edge of the space and a short pedestal in the center, raised to just above ground-level.

  Nothing else to do, I step on it.

  It compresses into the outer circle, I hear a click, and the whole thing starts descending. Holy fucking shit it really is a Fromsoft elevator.

  It keeps descending.

  It’s been a minute now, and all I can see is the same elevator-sized shaft. It’s flush with the smooth rock wall. I’d be incredibly impressed with the architecture if not for the fact that I’m pretty sure this was all procedurally generated in moments, several hundred thousand years ago or something.

  Grumbling, I look up and watch the ever-shrinking circle of sky. A different sky than before. I think. Actually, when was the last time I checked? Before I found this place, I was just watching the ground for… I don’t even know how long. It was daytime though. And it still is up there.

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  The only thing that keeps me from zipping up to check it out while this thing goes down is the absolute, unwavering certainty that this shitty elevator would stop, or worse, ascend, the instant I stepped off the button. It’s just a hunch, but I can kinda feel it wanting to spring back up. Sorta like standing on an impossibly firm trampoline. Which, admittedly, I’ve never done. But still.

  Thankfully, it only takes a few more minutes before the shaft starts to open. Sure, it’s just a ton more rocks, but at least I have more to look at than the concave inside of an overlarge tube.

  Soon, I can see a few slivers of light through the craggy gaps that open up. If I tilt my head at juuust the right angle, I can just barely thread the needle of visibility. Not enough to actually see anything. Just enough to get a general idea of some gold coloring off in the distance.

  But eventually, one of the main obstacles thins into nothingness and I can suddenly make out the sparkling top of a temple or a palace or some kind of needlessly ostentatious prison. All still well below, and bathed in the light of, the shining crystal ceiling of what I now realize is a truly colossal cave.

  Then another obstacle disappears. And another.

  Looking up, I can see that they each end in sharp points where I’d passed them.

  Stalactites! That’s what these are… Oh. Oooh, holy fuck this place is massive.

  Soon enough, my view is mostly unmolested by more than a couple hanging rocks as the elevator descends past their sharpest points.

  Now I see the whole thing. Off in the distance… Five miles away? Ten? However far it is, it’s nothing less than a golden city. It’s got nothing on Central. At least in size. Not even as big as that waterslide city I still can’t remember the name of. But DEFINITELY bigger than Richmond.

  Back there, what still feels like yesterday, I could’ve sold a single brick off a decorative overhang of one of those buildings and been set for life. Although, the existence of this city would probably glut the market somewhat since there looks to be several times more gold here than ever existed on Earth.

  All too soon, the actually-pretty-fast-moving elevator gets far enough down that something else blocks my vision. Cliffs. And then more cliffs. And more and more cliffs with nothing in between. A maze of canyons and chasms covers however many miles it is between me and the city. Looks like it could take weeks to navigate.

  Hell, I’d probably die of starvation in the attempt if that was actually possible anymore. “Yeah, fuck that. Go.”

  Transforming from a girl into lightning, I zip up and over the wall of the maze and then- “GAH!!!”

  Transforming from lightning into a girl, my face SLAMS into some red rune-looking thing just kinda hanging in midair, exactly where I was headed. “OW, goddamnshitforbrains-GO.”

  At that, I transform once more, and back again after traveling an inch to the side, where I just hover and look at the thing. “What in the actual flying fuck..?”

  I managed to catch my fall quickly enough that I’m only about a foot below where I collided with the red glowing magic circle. Except now it’s gone? Oh wait a sec…

  Trepidatiously, I reach my hand out in that direction.

  A little closer…

  I almost have to stretch and risk breaking the hover when-“Ow!”

  At a certain spot in the air, my longest finger is repelled backwards at the same speed that I’d been reaching forwards.

  As the rest of my body didn’t get that memo, the single finger reversing direction feels a lot like I just shut it in a car door.

  A little red rune appears in the air at the exact spot my finger just bounced away from.

  I want to test this, but how do I do that without hurting myself..? “Oh, I know!”

  With a jolt of inspiration, I unsheathe my Magatana and look at the non-neutonian-looking magma chainsaw mess of a sword with a grin.

  With a diagonal slash, I shotgun lava at all angles in front of me. My accuracy isn’t perfect, but some of it does touch down right next to where me and my finger were both repelled. And the area next to that. And many, many more. Okay, so it basically hits everywhere but the spot I was aiming for.

  Every last bit of it bounces away from the now-very-red wall, and straight back at me.

  My eyes widen. “GO!!!”

  I’m well away from the lava arc in a moment.

  Except it’s curving towards me. That would be worrisome if not for the fact that the pseudo-solid’s newly bestowed homing capabilities don’t override its relationship with gravity.

  My relief is still palpable when the lava splatters harmlessly on the maze entrance floor. Well, not ‘harmlessly’. It does a number on the floor itself, melting away the level beauty that once existed into a chaotic uneven mess. If that had been me, and assuming the reflection wall works anything like my counters, that would’ve melted my HP faster than the floor.

  Grumbling, I wait for it to dissipate before descending to the ground.

  I transfer smoothly from lightning to walking as I sigh in resignation and start in on the maze.