[Otto's POV - Continues from chapter 11,1]

  Still ten minutes early, I arrive at the end of the street. Alex is already standing there, swiping at his phone. He is wearing a thick blue sweater, dark denim pants, black sneakers and a black backpack is slung over one shoulder. I love his sweater. It's the perfect shade of bright blue and it looks warm and comfortable.

  I internally curse. Why does he have to make casual look effortless? I’d half-hoped that he’d show up in something ridiculous, like a Hawaiian shirt or cargo pants, so I’d feel less… out of fashion. But no. Alex doesn’t do ridiculous, apparently.

  It makes me feel even more self-conscious about my own old cardigan that nearly shows my stomach and worn-out jeans. I feel a strong urge to turn tail and forget about this whole ordeal but decide to swallow my pride and walk up to him with a smile.

  "Good morning. You're early!"

  When Alex looks up from his phone, he blinks a few times in surprise but smiles when he sees my smile.

  "Hey! You're here?" he says kindly as he puts away his phone. The way he says it—like a question instead of a greeting—throws me off. I blink, unsure of how to react.

  "Why do you sound so surprised?" I dare to ask out loud. I hope it sounds like a casual and polite remark, and not like an accusation, but I'm not sure. It's probably somewhere in the middle.

  Alex shifts, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, it’s just… I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

  “What?” I frown. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  Is that really how he sees me?

  "Well, it's not exactly a secret that you dislike me," he mumbles, his eyes darting to the side.

  "D-Dislike you?" I nearly choke on the words. "Where did you get that ridiculous idea? I don't."

  “I don’t know,” he mumbles as he stares at one point on the ground, then casually meets my eyes with his bright blue ones and back to the point on the ground. “Sometimes I feel like you have a wall pulled up around me. I mean… I understand that you interact differently with Jasper or Jessy than with me, but sometimes I feel like you act even colder towards me than the other boys in our class.”

  “Ah.” The sound slips out before I can stop it. Of course Alex had noticed. He’s way too observant for his own good.

  “You’re talking about the beginning of the school year, right?” I ask, my voice quieter now. “You’re not imagining things. I… I really was pushing you away.”

  “You were?!” his eyes widen in surprise. “Why? Did I do something to offend you? I remember that you acted kind of weird when I tried to shake your hand that first day.”

  “No! No…” I wave my hands, feeling my cheeks heat. “Please forget about that first day. That wasn’t you. That was a… me problem.”

  Alex frowns, his confusion obvious. It’s clear I’ve only made things worse by trying to explain.

  I sigh. “Do you remember my reaction to that guy at lunch? The one you said probably worked up all his courage to talk to me because he might’ve fallen for me at first sight?”

  He blinks, then nods.

  I study his face, unsure how much to say. I'd hoped he'd connect some of the dots himself, but when it seems clear that he still doesn’t understand, I decide to keep going. “Okay, imagine meeting someone who looks just like Hanna. Not her, but they look almost the same. Would you want to get to know her, or would you look the other way?”

  Alex tilts his head. “You do realize someone’s appearance doesn’t determine their personality, right?”

  “Ha! You’re braver than I am. I don’t think I could stand a second Hanna,” I laugh shakily. Alex frowns in distaste at the mention of a second Hanna, but then his expression softens. “Wait… does this mean someone who looks like me has wronged you?”

  No! Nothing like that.” I rub the back of my neck, my turn to feel awkward. “Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone else who looks like you.”

  “Then how does this figure into your explanation?”

  “It’s… prejudice,” I admit reluctantly. “I thought all good-looking people had bad personalities. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what I believed.”

  Alex stares at me, stunned. “Wait… you think I’m good-looking?”

  I pause, caught off guard. Is he blushing? “You didn’t know?”

  “How would I know something like that?! You’re the first one to tell me!”

  I gape at him. “Seriously? You didn’t know?!”

  “How would I?” he asks incredulously, then adds under his breath, “And why do you make it sound like it’s common knowledge?”

  His tone and expression are so genuinely embarrassed that I burst out laughing.

  “Sorry.” I shake my head, still smiling. “It’s just… this conversation. It’s like I’m trying to convince you that you’re good-looking.” I glance at him, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “And you are. You’re more than good-looking. You’re handsome. Honestly, you’re so handsome that if you told me you walked out of a perfume ad, I’d believe you.”

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  Alex blinks at me, his eyes wide, then lets out an awkward laugh. “Is that what all the wood nymph stuff was about?”

  “O! Yeah, it actually was.”

  A comfortable silence settles between us as Alex seems to be organising his thoughts.

  “You know, if I’d said those same words to Jasper, he would have used it as an opportunity to shamelessly start flirting with me,” I say feeling myself smile.

  "I would never do that!" Alex says, looking offended, and then doubts. "Is that what I'm supposed to do?"

  "No! Definitely not! Please don't," I hurry to say. Hopefully I haven't given him the wrong idea.

  He blinks in surprise again and then laughs.

  "I'll change the question then: Is that what people expect me to do?"

  "Yeah, ... at least I did. But I'm glad you didn't," I admit sheepishly. It feels very strange to admit something like that to the person himself. I try to read Alex's expression, but can't. All I see is that he's frowning, and that his eyes are shooting from side to side as he seems to be thinking something over.

  "Ugh," Alex grunts in dislike. "So it's just because of my looks… And here I thought people stayed away from me because of a major personality flaw. Heck, I was even starting to suspect that I smell terrible. But no, apparently people automatically conclude that I'm out of reach or halfway-evil, without even bothering to talk to me first. Tsk, so shallow!"

  I can't help but agree. I hate it when people treat me differently just because of my looks. It is fun when I only have to blink my eyelashes rapidly at a male to bend the rules in my favour, but there are much less fun side effects too. And yet, I've done the same thing to him.

  "You know?" Alex says after the short pause he apparently needed to organise his thoughts. "This actually explains everything, doesn't it? Your strange behaviour towards me and even why that Thomas-guy had cornered you. You all thought I was some kind of playboy!"

  I stiffen. Yes, that was exactly what I'd thought of him. And yet, I can't bring myself to tell him so now. I am slowly starting to see that he never deserved my prejudice.

  Alex seems to take my moment of silence as affirmation and sighs.

  "You actually think I'm capable of seducing girls? As a hobby? Breaking their hearts while I'm at it..." It is clear that he is trying to imagine that kind of lifestyle for himself but then frowns and shakes his head in disappointment. "Damn, how did my reputation get that bad in such a short period of time?"

  "I'm sorry. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. Jasper seems to trust you after all," I say, regretting my previous behaviour. Alex chuckles, but his smile looks a bit sad.

  "Looks like Jasper has been saving me from my solitude for a while now, huh? You really trust him a lot, don't you?"

  "Yeah, I do," I say as lots of warm memories of him make me smile tenderly. "I couldn't wish for a better friend."

  I watch as both of Alex's eyebrows rise in surprise.

  "Friend, huh?" he says. "Jasper told me once, but I still find it hard to believe. The two of you really aren't a couple? But you are so close!"

  "Ugh, not you too," I complain. "It's like I'm not allowed to have male friends! The second we become close, someone will start pushing us to become an item!"

  "Jessy?" Alex asks, a regretful expression on his face.

  "One of many," I sigh. "It's really annoying and causes delusions."

  "I see," he says thoughtfully.

  "Do you really?" I ask with more bite to my words than I meant to. I know my actual frustration is directed at Jessy, who seems to be incapable of understanding that I don't want to be matched to anyone.

  "Of course I do," Alex says as he looks at me with a confused frown. "It's like being forced to watch a commercial about something you're not interested in, over and over again. It gets old really fast."

  "Exactly," I say. It surprises me that someone understood. And with such a short explanation to boot. Even Jasper had drawn his own conclusions after debating about it for at least twenty minutes. It feels nice for somebody to understand and agree for once.

  "Is that what happened with Thomas?" Alex asks.

  My hackles instantly stand on edge and I freeze. Did he ask what I think he asked? How does he even know about that?! I feel so betrayed for thinking not even seconds ago that it is nice for someone to understand. Scratch that! This boy understands too much! I feel so embarrassed!!

  "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked," Alex interrupts my thoughts. When I look up to meet his eyes I find him waving his hands as if he wants to erase the asked question from ever being asked. He seems to have noticed that the topic is a mental landmine for me. He seems even more out of sorts than I felt just a moment ago. It makes me realise how ridiculous it is to get embarrassed over something that happened a long time ago.

  "Thomas hadn't expected me to turn him down," I mumble softly. Alex abruptly stops his ridiculous waving and looks surprised that I actually answered his question. "He even started laughing when I declined him, thinking that I was playing some sick joke on him."

  Alex sucks in a breath between his teeth.

  "Ouch," he says.

  "Indeed, ouch," I say as I feel the emotions of the memory wash over me. "It's the only word I can think of. Even after all this time, I can still see the smile on his face fade away into realisation. The image crystal-clear... We didn't hang out anymore after that."

  "Sorry," Alex says. He really does sound sorry.

  "Don't be," I say with a kind smile. "Thomas made his choice. In all honesty, I think that's the main difference between Thomas and Jasper. Whenever we fight or disagree on something, the next time we meet, he'll always treat me with the same warm and tender kindness he always does."

  "Hah, yeah... Jasper is cool that way," Alex agrees with a soft smile.

  I still don't know what to think of Alex, but I'm slowly starting to understand why Jasper likes to hang out with him. Alex is kind and open-minded, a character that compliments Jasper's.

  "Anyway!" Alex suddenly breaks the newly formed silence in a loud voice. "I promise that I won't let myself be influenced by what others tell me! No falling in love with you! So… Can we be friends? Please?"

  I give him a flat stare.

  "You've never been in love before, have you?" I say. My observation makes Alex jump, then blush.

  "I can't say I have been," he admits sheepishly.

  "Just be careful. The heart wants what it wants, you know," I scold. To my words, Alex smiles kindly. That smile is starting to annoy me. Every time I see it, I feel like he knows something that I don't.

  "Let me rephrase that," he says, still smiling that kind smile. "If I do happen to fall in love with you, I won't bother you with it. Since you've made it very clear from the start that I've been rejected."

  My cheeks instantly start to burn and I look at my toes. I can't deny his words, even though I'm starting to feel like he doesn't deserve them. I don't want to give him false hope either.

  "If being friends is a bridge too far," Alex says as his bright blue eyes appear in my vision. "Can we at least agree on getting along? Even if it is just for today?"

  I keep staring at his eyes, even when he straightens up again. Personally, I feel that agreeing to be friends is ridiculous. You either, get along with someone or you don't. But this agreement seems to be important to him. So I hold out my hand for him to shake.

  He looks at my hand in confusion for a moment, but then seems to catch my drift. A smile appears on his face as he grabs my hand and shakes it with one firm up and down. He looks really happy about our agreement too.

  "Come on," Alex says, all smiles, as he gently bumps his shoulder into mine. "Let's get going. We're wasting precious daylight."

  And I follow.