Monsters, monsters, everywhere, as far as the eye could see.
They moaned and stumbled and swung their claws, to gain their victory.
The battle was lost, it was plain to see, but the guards had tried and tried—
til reinforcements, Paxdom’s last hope, had come to turn the tide.
The Adventurers’ Guild was dispatched, Paxdom’s final card.
They’d fought exceedingly well, and they’d all fought long and hard.
But the beasts were just too much, no matter what they kept coming back.
Not brute force, they needed a plan, if they were to counterattack…!
That grinning boy, his final hope, had proved to be a dud.
So to his last breath, Linderton fought, through all the blood and mud.
But just before his mind slipped away, the last of his sight had caught—
Severed and flying through the air, tiny bits of monsters’ claws…?
_
“Ha— HAAAAAAGHH!!”
Linderton’s eyes snap open, and he pushes himself up into a sitting position with a small yell. Quickly, his hand darts to his back so he can retrieve his spear from its strap— only for it to grip some thin cloth instead. Seems like he’s wearing some sort of light garment… What happened to his guard’s gear? And, looking down at his lap, he notices that he’s strapped into his current rough cot with an abnormally tough belt. Linderton, while not outstanding, is still a Paxdom city guard with a relatively high Strength attribute— and yet, no matter how hard he pulls, he can’t free himself from the restraints. Nervously running his fingers through his long black hair, the greatly confused Linderton simply sits in place while breathing heavily.
“The monsters… those damn filthy beasts…! Where’d they go? What’s the situation? Michael, you there? Where’s my Clover Tavern souvenir mug, I could really go for some ale right now… Er— I mean, I’d neeeever drink first thing after waking up. Right, Michael buddy? Huh? Where’s Michael!?”
Linderton, starting to hyperventilate, takes an especially deep breath— and then the smell hits him. The putrid stench of blood and mud, surely, but also the sharp scent of potions and fresh bandages intertwine in his nostrils, stopping him in his tracks. He knows where he is.
“...the infirmary? But which one?”
Only then does Linderton take a proper look at his surroundings. It doesn’t take long for him to confirm it, looking at the sorry state of the adventurers and guards lying around him. He can even spot the Captain of his particular guard squadron, lying asleep in a fitful state.
The floor of the room is made of a smooth white stone, which already makes it quite an improvement over Paxdom’s cobblestone roads, and the walls/ceiling seem to be constructed of sturdy wood. There are a few windows, but they’re all covered since it’s nighttime— though for a moment, Linderton feels like he can see two silhouettes moving outside. After rubbing his eyes, however, he finds that the figures have disappeared.
Well… back to the room then. It’s a rather spacious room, with plenty of rough cots set up on the floor and shelves of colorful labeled substances against the walls. That alone is enough to tell him:
“Ah, it’s the Adventurer’s Infirmary. They didn’t take me to the barracks, huh… Damn, were my wounds that bad?”
Twisting around while still seated, Linderton checks the state of his own body. He’s not doing great, by any means, but most of his deep scratches have faded into unblemished skin and he isn’t in critical condition— a marked improvement from his physical state pre-awakening. A slow trickle of blood is coming from the back of his right hand, but that’s just a forgettable dull pain.
While Paxdom’s guards have their own version of an infirmary, the treatment to be found there is sorely lacking compared to the adventurer’s equivalent. The guards, chronically underfunded as they were, had to make do with primitive medicine and the occasional rare magic herb. The adventures, on the other hand, seemed to have genuine potions and healing spellcasters available at a moments’ notice. Really, comparing the two facilities, why would anyone ever choose the former over the latter?
“Prick city leaders and their thick overreliance on adventurers. What’s the point of even having a city guard if you’re just gonna treat us like dirt, then give the adventurers our pay after they swoop in to help…?”
It doesn’t take long for the healers— probably all spellcasting Adventurers— shuffling around the room to notice Linderton sitting up and grumbling to himself. After a few moments, an older woman with hip length light green hair, the beginning of wrinkles on her face, and a slightly bloodied gray hooded robe— vaguely similar to a modern medicinal coat, but coarser and lacking additions like a mask or gloves— walks over to Linderton and begins to speak.
“You’re awake, Mr Guard. Are you feeling well enough to talk about your current condition?”
Talking? Is he feeling well enough to talk? What a ridiculous question. There’s little more Linderton loves more than the sound of his own voice— but he quickly reins in his desire to woolgather. As part of Paxdom’s guard, even he knows when there are more pressing matters to attend to. Someone who’d put fulfilling their petty personal desires over the good of the public… just how unfathomably selfish would such a person have to be? Linderton, shaking his head, gets straight to the point.
“Yeah yeah I’m fine. Listen—”
He grabs the lady by her shoulders and, with a wild look in his eyes, begins to rant. So much for avoiding being too talkative.
“—what happened outside the city walls? With the monster invasion!? Last thing I remember… last thing I remember… Where's Michael!? My friend, is he still out there fighting? Listen, you’ve gotta let me out so I can…!”
The healer sighs, as if she’s heard this many times before. But, to her credit, she attempts to put on a caring smile before answering.
“The invasion is over. All the monsters are gone— they left no trace.”
“Ha— haaaaah!?”
Linderton knows that that can’t be right. Him, the guards, the adventurers… no nice way to put it, they’d been getting their asses kicked in. The gooey monsters had taught Linderton a whole new definition of ‘strength in numbers’ as the insignificant individuals joined to form an undefeatable whole. And he remembers seeing even Michael going down in those last few moments… how could the enemy have been routed if they had power like that?
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“Listen, you can’t expect me to believe that. I—”
“The fact of the matter is, all of the monsters disappeared suddenly in the middle of the battle. According to eyewitness reports, one moment, they were there, the next moment— all gone. I’m sorry to have to be so frank, but instead of worrying about how it could have happened, you just be grateful that you and the city are both safe. Now, if you don’t mind, would you please relax your grip?”
The healer’s words, while blunt, help knock some reason back into Linderton. He slowly releases her shoulders, and leans back into his cot.
“Right… right, okay, got it. But I really am worried about my friend. Thank you for your service… can I be discharged now?”
The woman nods and briefly glances at another healer across the room, who nods back at her.
“Yes, Mr Guard. Thank you for understanding. Checking you out is the reason why I’m here, in fact. All the supplies found near you, including your weapons and gear, are currently located right under your cot.”
The woman unfastens the straps holding Linderton in place as she speaks, allowing him to shake his legs awake and step onto the floor.
“Ah, thanks so much. Well, then I’ll get my stuff and take my leave… huh? Oh, a handshake? Sure.”
The woman had extended her arm after freeing Linderton, so he reaches out and firmly shakes her hand. Then, looking up at her face— wait, doesn’t she seem… confused?
The woman narrows her eyes and continues to keep her palm extended even after Linderton’s handshake. She’s still doing her best to smile, but her expression’s become rather strained. Linderton, growing more and more nervous by the second, eventually speaks up.
“Uhm… sorry, did I miss something?”
The woman, with pursed lips and a sharp gaze, finally explains.
“Our payment, Mr Guard. For the Adventurer’s Guild. One Platinum coin, if you please.”
Only then does Linderton understand why one would choose the barrack infirmary over the adventurers’.
“Payment… pay you… o- ONE PLATINUM COIN!? I’M A WARRIOR FOR THE GOOD OF ALL OF PAXDOM— AT THE BARRACKS, HEALING IS FREE!!”
“Yes, and it’s truly a shame to have to say, but perhaps that’s why you guards are all so woefully insufficient. Besides, if you have any decent amount of savings, this shouldn’t be such an outrageous fee to pay. You seem like a responsible man, not the type to spend his earnings on flashy trinkets and drinks.”
“Well, I’d certainly agree with being responsible. I’m a guard, aren’t I? But still—”
Just at that moment, as Linderton struggles to retrieve his gear from under the cot, his ornate golden spear tumbles out from under his cot into plain view. So does his Clover Tavern membership mug.
Both healer and guard look down at the two items, then look back up at each other.
Linderton chuckles slowly.
“Heh heh heh… so, about that…”
The woman’s face goes through all five stages of grief, then she sighs. Linderton scratches his neck and tries to give a stammering explanation, when—
*zip*
—he finds his right hand firmly fastened to the cot with that same absurdly strong strap from before.
“Huh? Huh??”
He watches the healer walk a few paces away and pull a bloodred potion from the nearest wall. Then, she pulls a thimble from somewhere within her robes. The deep red potion sloshes in its bottle as she moves, and hiss sounds as well as fizzy steam begins to leak through the bottleneck. It looks, in a word: corrosive.
Linderton’s eyes widen.
“Oi… oi! Hey, hold on!”
The woman looks down at Linderton with a glint in her turquoise eyes.
“I so sorely wish it hadn’t come to this… but if you claim you can’t pay after we worked so hard to heal you, we have little choice but to finish the job…”
“What the hell!? What’s that potion!? I knew it, I knew all you adventurers were rowdy good-for-nothings! Let me out, let me out!”
Needless to say, the room’s atmosphere— what with the heated back-and-forth between Linderton and the healer— is becoming entirely unsuitable for a place of rest. Already, a few of the other healers are looking over irritatedly and a few previously incapacitated combatants being woken up by the commotion are blinking themselves back to consciousness. Surely, having come fresh from a harrowing battle against the incessant waves of gooey ape-like beasts, they’ll be just as confused as Linderton was. But, as long as they continue to wake up gradually as they are now, the adventurers’ healing spellcasters will be able to handle it.
All that is what a well meaning onlooker would probably wish for. But what does Linderton wish for?
“Help me! This crazy lady is gonna kill me cause I can’t pay her off! Are there any guards awake? Help me! Someone, anyone, get in here and HELP!!”
More injured guards and adventurers begin to wake up upon hearing Linderton’s cries. But, thankfully, the volume of the screams a single still-recovering guard can produce isn’t too loud, so most remain soundly asleep.
The healer woman hooks an eyebrow in confusion.
“Mr Guard, please calm down. I’m simply intending to—”
*creak*
But before she can finish her sentence, Linderton’s wishes are granted. Across the room, a door leading to the city outside swings wide open, and in walks a relatively young boy sporting a snarky grin. And along with a pair of skimpy black underwear, that’s all he’s sporting. The healer, unfamiliar with this new entrant, simply darts her eyes over to the new arrival and begs him with her gaze to avoid adding to the commotion. Better not to cause a ruckus by setting off all the guards and adventurers (who are recovering from a traumatic experience, no less).
The boy, seeing all of this and apparently analyzing the situation, tilts his head to the side slightly. Then, the first thing the boy does is take a deep breath in, cup his mouth with his hands—
and scream as loud as he can.
“HEY! Anyone see a guy named Michael or Linderton in here? Oh look, there’s Lin— HOLY SHIT, IS THAT POTION WHAT I THINK IT IS!?”
“Aha, healer lady! I knew you were trying to poison me!”
“Mr Guard, please calm down! And you, naked boy, what are you even doing here!?”
Linderton reaches down to pick up his spear, the newcomer boy lunges forwards, and all the adventurers and guards in the room wake up at once.
Watching all this happen, as if the world around her is in slow motion, the healer clutches the potion in her hands and mumbles to herself:
“But… I was just trying to finish his treatment…”
*CRAAASHHHHH*
What happens next, in this little room of the adventurer’s infirmary, would be known for many years as simply “The Incident.”
#
“In my defense, how was I supposed to know that you psychopaths use bloody boiling potions as medicine?”
“In my defense, what kind of lunatic just waltzes naked into a building clearly marked Infirmary, that’s full of dangerous combatants?”
“In my defense, this was all pretty fuckin’ funny.”
Linderton, the healer, and Diegi are sitting lined up on the ground in that order, each bowing their heads. The first is glaring angrily at the second. The second is observing the third with narrowed eyes and an inscrutable expression. And the third is looking downwards, snickering under his breath— but he quickly sobers up when a commanding tone rings through the room.
“That’s enough! Technically, this city is still in a state of emergency— could we at the very least save the infighting for after the threat is dealt with?”
The person speaking takes a breath, and then:
“Enough with the excuses. Is there anything you three wish to communicate?”
“““Apologies, Guard Captain Rafini.”””
Silver eyes, silver hair, illuminated under the soft light of the silver moon. It’s a breathtaking sight— Rafini Silver, captain of Paxdom’s guard. While she technically doesn’t hold any sway over the Adventurer’s Guild or its members, the aura of authority she exudes is undeniable.
Rafini nods at the troublemakers’ response.
“Is that all? What are you all apologizing for?”
““We’re sorry for acting irresponsibly, leading to the destruction of—””
“Destroy is kind of a strong word.”
““Shut up!””
“—That’s enough! I— ugh!— pheh pleh pheh—”
Rafini, from her position of being tightly strapped into a cot and wrapped in bandages with only half of her face visible, repeats herself and attempts to move the conversation forward. But before she can, she's forced to spit out some of the dust that sifted into her mouth while she was talking.
Yes, it’s a breathtaking sight indeed. Anyone walking into the infirmary would likely hold their breath upon seeing the situation. Not in admiration of Rafini’s beauty or anything, but moreso in fear of the giant gaping hole in the ceiling.
Oh, was it not mentioned? Remember how the moonlight was framing Rafini’s face, despite them being inside a room? Yeah, that’s because there’s a massive hole in the Infirmary’s ceiling now. Turns out that having a room full of magical armed combatants be violently woken up all at once is a bad idea. A really bad idea.
Now, the Infirmary isn’t looking very firm itself. Thankfully, no one had been hit by any of the rubble, as most of it had fallen outside the building. A fine layer of dust has settled over all the shell-shocked healers and patients, however. Plus, the building had been paid for through Paxdom’s funding, and there’s no telling how much repairs may cost. Truly a misfortune.
Just who could Diegi blame for—
Man, that was hilarious! Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to start screaming like that as soon as I walked in… but hey, not like I did it on purpose. It’s not like I saw a golden opportunity and really wanted to see how they’d react. I mean, me? Nah, I’d never. Troll’s honor!
Himself. As evidenced by his wayward thoughts, Diegi can blame himself.
At the very least, most of the injured adventurers and guards had immediately fallen back asleep from the shock of experiencing “The Incident.” Now instead of one trauma to sleep off, they have two! How wonderful.
Rafini, doing her best to maintain her dignified air while nearly incapacitated, sighs and shakes her head.
“As I see it, from your accounts as well as those of everyone present, the one foremost to blame for this incident—“
Man, listen to the way she talks. So dignified and proper, but not warm like Gloria. More… well… cold. Though, now that I think about it, Rafini appears in the original MYTH, doesn’t she? Her backstory had something to do with... a family bloodline feud...? Oh, wait! Isn’t she— staring at me. Why is she staring at me?
“Did you hear what I said? Do you require me to repeat myself, boy?”
Diegi gives an indignant scoff.
“Who are you callin’ boy? I’m pretty sure we’re the same age— yes, please repeat yourself, my bad my bad.”
He quickly changes his tune when Rafini’s gaze drops to subzero temperatures.
“I said… you are to blame for this incident. Now, explain yourself. For what purpose have you, someone who I do not recognize and so must be a civilian, barged into this room at such a critical moment? I believe the city alarm played multiple times to direct citizens to enter a protection center.”
“Ah—“
Diegi, all of a sudden, sits up straighter and gains a more serious look in his eye. It’s an astonishing difference from the giggling gremlin who’d been present just a moment ago.
“Right. This is perfect, actually! I have some news for you, guard captain. Do you have a sec?”