The silent winds of Kauri Point press down on me through the early morning darkness.

  One night here, and I already know it will never compare to the life I had in Miami.

  The white sand beaches, the crowded streets and shopping malls. My friends and my dad. All that lost to a twenty hour flight across the world. To a tiny island no one knows exists; and definitely don’t care about.

  My fingers twist the silver necklace that’s hanging from my neck — turned golden by the Miami sun. The cold metal holds everything I have left of my dad. Other then the ghost of him in my heart, and the whispered trails of memories long saved in my heart, this one birthday present is the only thing I have to hold onto. Maybe I wear it as a way to remember him — hold him close to me when I’m so far away — or maybe it’s to plead forgiveness to the universe. One day all of this — his death, the move — won’t be my fault.

  Miami still holds his ghost, and leaving it feels like losing him all over again.

  My eyes drift over the shadows while they adjust to the darkness. As they land on the sleeping shape of my mother in the bed next to me, her quiet snores reach my ears. A sick feeling sets in my stomach. She’s the reason we’re in my gran’s house in Kauri Point. She doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.

  Yet, I move slowly. All she will try to do is stop me from getting on the next plane out of here and home.

  Through the dark, my fingers instantly find the soft grey fabric of my dad’s hoodie I stole from a box of his things. Tugging it over my head, the familiar scent lingers from months ago. It hits my heart in just the right spot for a moment of grief as the waves sweep me up; trying to drown me, to give in to the fountain of tears building in my throat.

  I look to the sky, and try to blink away the streams.

  Passing my fingers through my brown hair — highlighted by the Miami sun and the salty spray from the waves I surfed — I take a deep breath to calm the tears at the edges of eyes.

  My eyes drift to the sheer curtains covering the large window at the end of the room. Sun streams dapple the dull carpet as it rises. The sky turned a deep burgundy and orange. Clouds dotted in the sky turned pink with the exotic lighting.

  A sunrise so like Miami; maybe the whole move was a dream. The only thing that is different, the rolling grass and gravel roads, nothing like the expanse of buildings and billboards.

  I need to go back. There’s nothing here for me, at least in Miami his ghost still lingers.

  Caleb is still in Miami, he got to stay, why can’t I?

  It might not feel like home without Dad, but it’s the only place that feels close enough.

  Dust builds on my shoes as I walk away from my gran’s tiny cottage. Past the roaring sea and its dark sand. Towards the tiny cluster of buildings the natives would call a town.

  A place that smells like a farmer who doesn’t know the definition of a shower.

  A place that’s hanging on by tiny threads, just waiting for the day it can be buried under the dust these roads hold.

  The quaintness of it all is infuriating. Everything in this town is frozen in time, like a photograph from 1950. Nothing in this town compares to the buzzing energy of Miami. Miami was so full of life, but this town just seems…dead.

  I can’t wait until the plane lands in my hometown to feel something. My heart aches for a piece of home from Miami that doesn’t rip out my heart and tear it up.

  I need my best friend.

  With shaky hands I pull out my phone and press the one name — the one number — that makes sense anymore. My phone rings as a shrill call through the quiet morning air.

  Brinn’s face fills the screen, the brilliant light of the sun blinding my eyes through the screen.

  “Hey, girl!” She calls, her sweet voice causing my shoulders to relax, as the familiar waves of a beach I once new, splash in the distance.

  “I’m coming home, Brinn. This town’s already given up, and I’m not sticking around for it’s funeral.”

  “Woah.” She laughs. “Hold on a minute, have you even given it a chance?”

  “I did. One night. It’s nothing like Miami, and I will not forget about my dad like that.” I raise my voice, but recoil as another face joins Brinn. “Jackson…?” His name escapes my tight throat.

  “Hey, Brownie!” He calls like I can’t hear him over the distance. “Where are you?”

  “I have to go.” I say quickly, scowling at the use of the nickname he gave me.

  “Tess…” She starts, and I see her move away from Jackson, as the sound of my home waves grow louder.

  “No. Brinn. Why—”

  “Tessa. Don’t make this more difficult. It’s not what you think. He just showed up, I didn’t invite him to hang out. But you never told him you were leaving, don’t you think he deserves to know?”

  “No. Things ended. And that’s how they will stay. I don’t want anything to do with him. And sure, I left, but I’m not staying in New Zealand. I’m coming home, Brinn. I’ll see you in a few hours.” I end the call without waiting for her reply, it wasn’t worth hearing.

  I weave between the empty streets of this quiet town — each seeming to glare as my feet kick at the stones. Every corner whispering to me that I don’t belong.

  How am I meant to get out of here? I think, looking around for an airport, a taxi, a bus. Anything.

  Warm chatter reaches my ears as the sun hits my eyes across the ocean. Turning a corner, my eyes lock onto a group of people sitting outside a cafe, in the rising sun. Each holding a steaming coffee cup, and smiling.

  How can anyone be so happy in this town? There’s nothing here!

  I square my shoulders, and walk up to them. “Excuse me.” I address, and they all look up. I clear my throat. “What’s the best way to get out of here?”

  One of the ladies smiles at me. “You’re Marge’s granddaughter.”

  I flinch at the use of my gran’s name, my mind going blank for a moment. Blinking a few times as sweat builds on my palms, I answer. “Yeah. How do you know that?”

  “It’s a small town. Everyone knows everybody.”

  “Right. How do I get out of this small town.” I ask, subtly shifting my weight between my feet.

  She gestures towards the cafe. “Ask Miriama. She owns the cafe and knows everything about this place.”

  I sigh, and place a hand on the rough door to the cafe. I push it open as the bell chimes my arrival. Heat pressing down my back, the air thick with the aroma of roasted beans and burnt sugar.

  Stepping purposefully up to the counter, my eyes meet a pair of sweet brown eyes. My brain falters as a breath escapes my throat.

  “You must be Marge’s granddaughter.” He smiles, leaning on the counter, an effortless ease to his words.

  I clench my jaw, discomfort building through my bones. “I need to speak to…” Her name slips my mind and I stare at the boy in front of me, his smile never faltering.

  “Someone to get you out of here?” he finishes for me.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You don’t want to stay here because it’s nothing like Miami.” He continues. “Why does someone make such a drastic move anyway if they just want to leave the second they get here?”

  “My opinion wasn’t valid when it came to the move.” I reply sharply. “If you must know.”

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  He smirks. “I could tell.” His eyes shifting over my tense muscles.

  “Who are you?”

  “Ben. But most commonly known as the son of the lady you’re probably looking for.”

  I shift my feet and clench my hands into fists. “Well then.” I let out a breath. “Can I talk to her?”

  “A please would be nice.”

  I glare at him.

  “Okay okay.” He holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t kill the friendly cafe worker.” He laughs and turns to a door at his right. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Friendly is an overstatement.” I mutter to myself. What is with the people in this town?

  Looking around, my eyes land on a large map covering the entire wall. My feet draw me closer until every detail stares back at me from the parchment. The quaint town, the stretching skies filled from trees of the forest, and the beach. One thing that ties Kauri Point to Miami. The waves, the salt, the sun, and the sand.

  Reaching out to trace the curve of the waves drawn, a presence covers my shadow.

  “Beautiful isn’t it.” A warm voice speaks kind words into my haunted mind.

  I draw my hand back and clench it into a fist to calm the racing thoughts. Hugging my hand to my chest, I turn around, tears straining at my eyes. “I need to get out of here.” The words leave me breathlessly, my heart pounding against my skin.

  “Oh dear, I know moving isn’t always easy but—”

  “I need to get out of this quiet town!” I yell, anger bubbling through my veins. “Why does no one get it? I don’t belong here, there’s nothing for me! My life is in Miami. My dad is in Miami!” I draw in a sharp breath, my eyes darting around.

  Everyone in the cafe is staring at me, their gaze prickling at my skin.

  Tears well in my eyes in greater quantities, my heart racing. My legs stagger and my back falls hard against the wall behind me. I reach out a hand for support and feel the rough material of the map against my hand.

  “Would you like me to call your gran?” The lady in front of me asks, her sweet voice finding my ears through the clouds filling my vision.

  Why does everyone know who I am? “Get me out of this town.” I say, my voice shaking. “I need my dad.” I cry, salty streams beginning to flow from my eyes.

  Through the tears, my gaze locks with that from the sweet brown eyes of the boy I met at the counter. He walks towards me, hands in his pockets.

  “You look like you need a distraction.”

  My eyes strain deeper into his as I take a deep breath, calming my ragging breaths. “I need to go home.”

  Planting my feet into the ground, I stand on my own and push past him and out of the steaming cafe. Outside, the sun is rising higher, casting long shadows along the dusty ground. My head spins as I look around.

  How am I meant to get out of here?

  Letting out a sigh, my feet drag me along a path towards the forest. Why? Something was calling to me.

  Mesmerised by the call of the forest, I jump as my phone rings. Pulling it out of my pocket, I know who it is before I look at it. My mother. I decline and keep walking. My phone rings again, but this time I give in.

  “You will answer the first time I call you.” She shouts. “Where are you?”

  “I just went for a walk, Mom. Chill out.”

  “Do not tell me to chill out. You can’t just disappear when you wake up and not tell anyone.”

  “You weren’t awake.” I shrug.

  “Then leave a note, Tessa. Don’t be so difficult. Just come home.”

  “What do you mean come home. You’re in Kauri Point, and home is in Miami. With Dad.” I say, nearly choking on the words.

  “Tessa, please. Just give it a chance. It might give you more than you’re expecting it to. You just have to open your eyes to see past your dad.”

  I stop in my tracks at her words. “So you want me to forget about him? Yeah right. You can, but I will never forget about him!” I shout into my phone and end the call. There’s not use sticking around for what she’ll say.

  It’s always the same.

  That’s not what I’m saying, Tessa. I didn’t mean it like that. Stop being such a difficult daughter.

  My dads hoodie hangs around my shoulders, sweat rolling down my back.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket with a text. I pull it out expecting to be my mother, yelling at me again. But it’s not.

  CALEB: How’s Kauri Point? ??

  I roll my eyes. My brother is infuriating with his annoying text messages, and random emoji’s.

  TESSA: Terrible.

  His text bubble appears and disappears again. Finally, a text pops up.

  CALEB: Come on, T. It can’t really be that bad. You’re staying with Gran, surely it’s just like our holidays as kids. TESSA: Sure. But there’s no end date to this. We’re not coming home. I’m stuck in this hell-hole until I die. ??

  I’m sure Caleb is laughing as he texts back.

  CALEB: Don’t be dramatic.

  I roll my eyes, and pocket my phone. I don’t need any more reminders of what I lost through the move.

  I continue walking down the empty dusty trail, to who knows where, my mind adrift on the Miami sea.

  Heavy foot falls pound the dirt behind me.

  I spin around in fright, my heart racing. But the trail is empty. A shiver runs down my spine. Nothing but dust clouds rising from the disturbed dirt. The trees line the path, still hanging onto the simple crystal dew drops from the night air.

  A horses cry splits the fragile air — disturbing a flock of birds that fly from the tree tops — as it appears in front of me.

  My eyes widen at the sight, my whole body shaking as it gallops towards me — eyes wide, ears back, muscles writhing.

  I should run, flee the path of the horse that could barrel me down, but I don’t move. I can’t. My feet stay rooted to the spot, my mind praying it will dodge me.

  But it doesn’t.

  A scream escapes my lips as the horse skids to a stop in front of me. I stumble backwards as it rears and lets out another cry.

  Its front hooves smash into the ground inches away from my own feet. As it’s eyes lock onto mine, a simple breath escapes my lips.

  The horses coat is caked in dirt, burning in the sun. It’s black coat glimmering under the dirt. A single patch of white stretches down her nose. My eyes drift down the structure of the horse in front of me. Blood drips down it’s leg, and over it’s hoof. Dried blood sticks to the horses hair. Caked around the wound. The horse shifts to lift the wounded leg off the ground. Pain shoots through my calf and I wince with the pain. Breathing heavily, I stare at the horse. The whites of it’s eyes show as they scream in pain. Yearning for relief.

  My heart drops to my stomach.

  Through the air, a subtle breeze flies to sway my hair. Bringing a hand up, my fingers brush it behind my ear as the horse looks towards the trees at my left.

  The forest stands still, until a flicker of white catches my eye. Movement of a creature hidden in the secrets of the forest.

  A glowing leg extends into the light, a mythical creature following into the light. A horse sparkling like dew at sunrise, raises its head, it’s eyes soulful. Each hoof dissolving into mist as if the earth itself exhaled.

  A horse so much like a spirit, it seems that it shouldn’t be gracing the earth, but here it is.

  As the glowing horse looks at me, it slowly dips its head, before disappearing into the trees. Steadily, the black horse leaves my side and walks after the spirit horse.

  I stare into the forest after the two horses. My eyes glued to the leaves hiding the two mysterious horses.

  The shrill sound of my phone ringing startles the quiet mist of the forest.

  A sigh escapes my throat as I reach for my phone and see my mums face displayed across my screen. But I answer anyway.

  “What do you want now?” I say, anger bubbling up through my words.

  “Come home, Tessa.”

  “But it’s not home. Miami is home. Dad is home. Hiding at the bottom of the world isn’t going to change that.”

  “We both know that Miami is not home without your father. Things had to change, I’m sorry you’re unhappy.”

  “I’m sorry it happened, but it’s your fault we’re here, you’re fault I’m unhappy.”

  “You’re not making this easy for yourself, just give it a chance. Even a small one. Just come home. Gran’s making lunc—”

  I hang up before she finishes, I don’t care. Why should I go back? All it will do is make everything worse. I haven’t seen my gran in years, yesterday was weird seeing her again. But my stomach growls to betray me. I haven’t eaten since dinner and I’m starving.

  I take one last look at the forest, my eyes meeting a glowing figure.

  He’s back.

  Spirit.

  Gran’s cottage stands how I left it.

  The only difference, my mom standing — waiting for me — on the front porch, her arms crossed, a scowl across her face.

  This is why I don’t come home. I’m met with this every time. But I’m the problem.

  “You decided to do as I asked for once.”

  I stop in my tracks. Don’t make this worse for yourself. I think. “If you actually cared, you’d notice I do what you ask quite often actually.”

  My mom’s scowl deepens.

  “Don’t talk back to me, young lady.” She unfolds her arms. “You can’t act like you rule the world. You’re not the main character.”

  I walk past her into the house, meeting a smiling Gran in the entrance way.

  “Good to see you, dear. Would you like some food?” She places an arm around my shoulder and starts to guide me to the kitchen.

  “I don’t think she deserves food, mum.” Mom says from behind us.

  “Quiet down, Andrea, and give her some space. Moving countries isn’t easy for everyone. Be patient, and give her some space.”

  I hear a huff from behind me, but can’t help smiling. My mom getting told off is satisfying.

  The kitchen smells of freshly baked lemon cake and sweet summer berries. I sit at the table, my back against the hard wood of my gran’s dining chairs.

  She places a plate of steaming soft lemon cake in front of me, and I melt with the flavours travelling up my nose.

  “Thank you, Gran. It smells amazing.”

  She smiles at me as I pick up my fork to begin eating.

  “I’ve enrolled you in Kauri Point High, Tessa.” Mom says, joining us in the kitchen. “You start tomorrow.”

  I look up at her — my fork halfway to my mouth. “What!?”

  She glares at me. “You didn’t expect to move here and not go to school, did you?”

  I place down my fork and will myself to be calm. “I’ve been here one day, Mom. Shouldn’t I have some time to get settled into life here before being thrown into the school year?”

  “You start tomorrow. End of discussion.”

  The night is humid. The air thick.

  And I’m awake. Alone.

  My mom sleeps peacefully snoring in the bed beside me.

  My mind drifts to Miami. The life I left behind. The sun, the waves, my friends, and lastly, everything left of my dad. He’s in Miami, the air, the waves, the house we left as we boarded a plane for the countryside. I’ll never see him again, and losing him feels like a sword to the heart. One that gets pushed deeper and deeper every time we leave him.

  Tears roll down my cheeks with his memory.

  I get up quickly — grabbing my sketchbook — and head outside into the hot air. Heavy with the grief in my heart.

  I find a bench on the back porch and sit down, the moon shinning down casts shadows across the grass.

  Tears flow from my eyes as my hand sketches the horse engraved in my mind. Captivated by the glowing of his coat, and the mystical feel of his being. My tears smudge the pencil, but he seems to glow off the page as the lines come together.

  My eyes drift up through the dark.

  Spirit stands ten metres away, head held high, looking right at me. Our eyes meet and I sniff the last of the tears away as he lets out a nicker, throwing his head around, his mane bouncing through the night air.

  Spirit burns white against the night, a beacon to a world no one else could see. Maybe he wants to save me. Or maybe he’s here to finish what began the night my dad died.

  Could this horse understand loss, too?

  Does he feel the way I do?