CHAPTER TWO -- SPOILER ALERT, YOU'RE DEAD

  1

  While waiting for the lights to change at the quiet intersection, Toth pulled out his Scythe pistol and pressed several buttons on its tiny keypad. Morton sidled up behind him and drew the hunting knife hidden in his waistband. Toth barely noticed him as Morton prepared to strike.

  Spotting an approaching city bus, Morton hesitated. After a moment’s thought, a sly grin appeared on his face as he quickly returned his knife to his waistband.

  As the large vehicle drew near, Morton suddenly shoved Toth from behind. The unexpected attack sent Toth sprawling out directly into the path of the oncoming bus.

  Caught off-guard, Toth did a face-plant into the street and accidentally discharged his Scythe pistol. A white beam emanated from the device and shot across the street into the park.

  As Ross returned to his picnic area, the beam from Toth's Scythe pistol hit him in the back. He instantly dropped to the ground, gasping in sudden, intense pain.

  Inside the bus, a heavyset, older woman drove towards the intersection with no sign of Toth sprawled out in the street ahead. The only person in sight was Morton watching from the sidewalk, wearing his red-lensed glasses and an expectant grin.

  Lying in the road, Toth lifted his head up to see the oncoming bus. He barely had time to scream before the massive vehicle smashed into him without slowing and mercilessly drove over him.

  Ross writhed on the ground a short distance up the hill. Clutching his chest in agony, he thrashed beside his romantic picnic setup. His face twisted in pain and fear as he saw Theda stop to drink from a water fountain less than a hundred feet away.

  Ross tried to yell to Theda, but only managed a weak croak through gritted teeth. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't looking in his direction and had her earbuds in. He pressed both hands to his chest, as if trying to keep his heart from bursting out as he convulsed violently.

  “Theda,” Ross gasped. He helplessly watched her until his eyes turned dull and finally closed. He became still as his ragged breathing wheezed to a raspy stop.

  A ray of yellow light flowed out of Ross and flew down the hill. The amber glow passed directly in front of Theda, but she was unable to see it.

  After stretching a bit, Theda resumed her run, completely unaware that Ross lay dead nearby.

  The warm beam emerged from the park and sailed to Toth's battered Scythe pistol lying in the middle of the street. The ray entered a tiny prism on the front of the device. A few lights on the damaged gun flashed and then went dark.

  Morton walked over and carefully picked up Toth’s Scythe, as if he were afraid of it. The crushed pistol was cracked, with broken parts rattling around loose inside as Morton examined it.

  The bus driver’s voice startled Morton from his inspection. “I think I just drove over some animal. Did you see what it was?”

  Morton looked up as the anxious driver walked over from where her bus idled at the curb. He removed his glasses and hid the Scythe pistol behind his back. “No, I didn’t see anything.”

  Frowning to conceal his smile, Morton pretended to help the fretting bus driver search the bushes for some injured animal. To the naked eyes of Morton and the bus driver, the area seemed to be devoid of any signs of Toth's violent demise. “Whatever it was, it’s gone now,” he offered.

  “You’d think there’d be guts splattered everywhere.” The driver peered around, confused.

  Morton put his unusual glasses back on and a grisly scene tinted in red appeared to him. The unaware bus driver stood beside the run-over wreckage that was Toth. His crushed body lay in the gutter, twisted and broken, like a discarded rag doll. An oily fluid flowed from his massive injuries, drenching his suit and forming a black pool around him.

  Morton savored the scene and chuckled as he walked away. The driver glanced around the empty road, shrugged and returned to her waiting bus.

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  2

  Ross awakened to find himself wearing a hospital gown in the bed of a dingy recovery room. Three people stood over him, having a whispered discussion. They fell silent when they realized Ross had regained consciousness.

  Chief Skulton was a painfully-thin old man dressed nattily in a white suit and whose face seemed stretched so tightly across his skull that if he actually smiled, his skin might tear. At the chief's side was Graves, a stunning, raven-haired woman who wore a stylish dark suit and an ice queen facade. Dodd leaned against the far wall and watched Ross closely.

  “Oh, you're finally awake. Excellent. How are you feeling, Mr. Lasser?” Skulton inquired.

  “Like hell.” Ross groaned as he sat up.

  Skulton nodded. “That's not surprising, considering what you've been through. Once your body adjusts to the serum, you'll feel much better.”

  “Where’s Theda? Does she know I'm in the hospital? She's my fiancée. Or soon will be.”

  “She’s not here yet.” Skulton gestured with a bony hand as he made the introductions. “Mr. Lasser, I’m Chief Skulton. This is my assistant, Graves. And that’s Dodd over there.”

  Ross nodded a greeting to the others. “Please just call me Ross.”

  Skulton leaned forward. “I’d like to ask you some questions. Can you tell us what you remember from when you were at the park?”

  “I was waiting for my fiancée-to-be, Theda, and I saw an old man jogging who seemed to be having a cardiac episode,” Ross answered.

  Skulton nodded. “We know about him. He was supposed to be there. What happened next?”

  Ross gave Skulton a confused look. “The old guy didn't want my help and ran off. Then I had a heart attack of my own. Kind of ironic, I suppose. I passed out and I woke up here.”

  “Did you witness anything else?” Skulton inquired.

  “No, I was too busy writhing in agony to be enjoying the view,” Ross answered.

  Dodd stepped forward. “Was there anything unusual going on? Did you see the bus drive by?”

  Ross scowled, puzzled by this line of questioning. “Do you always go into hospitals and ask the patients weird questions? What kind of cops are you people?”

  “I got a status update for you. This isn’t a hospital and we’re not the cops,” Dodd replied.

  Ross became even more bewildered. “Then where am I and who are you?”

  “Spoiler alert, you’re dead,” Dodd stated with a wry smirk.

  Skulton silenced Dodd with a glare. “I regret Dodd’s bluntness. But it’s true, Mr. Lasser. You’re dead. That heart attack killed you. It’s been four days since you died. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Ross studied the three, skeptical confusion on his face. “What are you talking about? Did Derek and the guys from work put you up to this? Where are they hiding? Where's the hidden camera?”

  Skulton sighed. “This is no prank, I assure you. Think about it, you had a massive heart attack. There was no one around to render medical assistance unto you and then you died.”

  Ross shook his head, puzzled but defiant. “This isn’t funny at all.”

  Graves attempted a different approach. “I read in your file that you were a paramedic.”

  “I still am.”

  Graves shrugged. “Then you should know how to determine if someone is alive or not.”

  “Of course. You don’t need to be a paramedic for that.” Ross placed two fingers on the side of his neck to check his pulse. His brow furrowed as he felt around and found none.

  Graves continued. “Nothing? Try your heart.”

  After a few moments of fruitless searching for his own heartbeat, Ross looked at the others with a dawning uncertain fear. His mind reeled at his failure to detect his own vital signs.

  “It’s still as a stone, isn’t it?” Graves inquired sympathetically.

  “I must be tripping on the drugs they gave to me at the hospital,” Ross mumbled to himself.

  “It’s no delusion. You’re dead. All of us here are dead,” Skulton stated.

  “I don't see any harp-wielding angels. And Hell isn't this lame in the brochures,” Ross quipped.

  “This is the afterlife, but it’s neither of those places. Most people don’t end up here when they die.” Skulton paused. “You’re an unusual case.”

  “An unusual case? What do you mean?” Ross asked.

  Skulton hesitated to craft an abbreviated explanation.

  Dodd grunted, “You’re here by mistake.” Graves and Skulton glared at Dodd, who shrugged.

  “By mistake?” Ross could only stare at the three in bewilderment.

  A muffled ringtone emanated from inside Graves's briefcase. She opened the case and withdrew an old-fashioned landline phone’s handset. She adopted a businesslike tone as she answered it. “Graves here.” She listened for a moment. “We’ll be right up.” Graves put the phone receiver back into her briefcase and addressed Skulton. “They’re waiting in your office.”

  “What did you mean about my death being a mistake?” Ross inquired.

  Skulton stood and faced Ross with an apologetic look. “I'm sorry to leave with your questions unanswered, but I have to explain your situation to my superiors. We'll talk again soon.”

  “What situation? You just can't walk out now and leave me like this,” Ross exclaimed.

  Skulton attempted a reassuring tone. “Mr. Lasser, everything will be explained in detail when I get the chance. Until then, just make yourself at home.” Dodd and Graves followed Skulton out.

  After they exited Ross’s room, Dodd closed the door and joined Skulton and Graves as they headed to the elevator. Graves pressed the button. Dodd spoke as they waited. “Chief, I’d like to be present when you interview that guy again.”

  Skulton replied, “I don't need to question him anymore. He didn't see or hear anything.”

  Dodd pressed on. “He’s probably still in shock. He might remember something later.”

  Skulton shook his head dismissively. “I doubt it. His memory seems fine.”

  “Chief, he’s our only witness to the crime,” Dodd retorted.

  Skulton regarded Dodd. “I’m not so sure there was a crime.”

  “Do you think Toth committed suicide?” Dodd asked incredulously.

  “No, of course not. But I will wait for Dr. Dee’s autopsy report before I make any ruling.”

  Graves interjected, “Dodd, you've done what you can. Let the chief study all the evidence.”

  When the doors opened, Skulton and Graves entered the elevator. Dodd stewed for a moment before extending his hand out to prevent the elevator doors from closing and asked, “What do you plan to do with this Ross guy? Are you just going to leave him locked up here?”

  The chief considered the question. “I haven’t decided yet. Why?”

  “What if I handled it? I could explain things to him. Maybe take him around with me.”

  Skulton smirked, seeing through Dodd’s request. “You’re not going to let this go, are you? He didn't witness anything unusual.” He studied Dodd intently before finally shrugging. “Okay, you're responsible for him. And if he does remember something relevant, I want to hear it.”

  “You got it. Thanks, Chief.” Dodd stepped back to allow the elevator doors to close.

  3

  Morton sat in his apartment, hunched over Toth’s broken Scythe pistol as he tried to repair it with duct tape and a glaze of glue. After finishing his sad attempt at restoring the shattered device, Morton aimed the strange gun at the wall and tried to fire it. Nothing happened.

  Morton yanked back on the trigger with greater force, but it still failed to discharge. He hurled the Scythe pistol in frustration. The device smashed against the wall, fracturing beyond repair.

  One piece broke free from the demolished weapon and rolled across the floor, coming to a stop at Morton's feet. The part was a silver cylinder the size of a roll of quarters with a tiny yellow light blinking on top. He picked up the shiny object, intrigued.