Li Yusheng never wanted to defy the heavens.

  He never wanted to cultivate. He never even wanted to be in a sect.

  But when his parents, two humble rice farmers, sold him off to the Ten Thousand Lotus Cloud Sect in exchange for a particularly fat chicken, he found himself swept into a world of arrogant young masters, legendary treasures, and nonsensical heavenly tribulations.

  For the past five years, he had perfected the art of not being noticed—a delicate balance of being too weak to be challenged, but not weak enough to be expelled. He scrubbed floors, brewed tea, and spent his nights watching the moon, wondering if his parents ever regretted their poultry-based transaction.

  Everything changed the day he stepped on a dandelion.

  The Incident

  It was an ordinary day.

  Li Yusheng was strolling near the sect’s outer courtyard, contemplating the meaning of life (specifically, why it was so exhausting), when his foot came down on what he thought was just another weed.

  The ground trembled.

  A golden light erupted from the earth, swirling into the sky with enough force to shatter mountains. The heavens themselves rumbled as an ancient voice boomed:

  - At last! After ten thousand years, I have found my heir!

  Weisheng blinked.

  - What.?

  Before he could process what was happening, a spectral figure appeared before him—an ethereal old man with a long, flowing beard and eyes that burned like celestial fire.

  - You have awakened the Primordial Celestial Void Lotus, the most sacred inheritance of the divine realm! - the old man declared.

  I, the Great Ancestor of the Everlasting Dao, bestow upon you the Heaven-Defying Five Elemental Hellfire Thunder Technique! A single thought shall reduce your enemies to ash!

  A single breath shall topple mountains! You—

  Yusheng, still struggling to comprehend how stepping on a flower had ruined his day, raised a hand.

  - Uh, can I decline?

  The spectral figure faltered.

  - What?

  - I’m good, actually!

  Yusheng rubbed the back of his head.

  - I just want to live a peaceful life. Maybe run a tea shop someday.

  The Primordial Celestial Void Lotus flickered.

  - But… the prophecy… the heavens… the legacy…

  -Yeah, I appreciate the offer, really. But I think you got the wrong guy!

  -I HAVE CHOSEN YOU! ACCEPT YOUR DESTINY!

  A torrent of golden energy surged into Li Yusheng before he could protest further, searing his soul, rewriting his meridians, and engraving forbidden knowledge into his very being. He screamed as power coursed through him, reshaping his body, his spirit—

  And then it was over.

  The dandelion crumbled into dust. The spectral ancestor vanished. The golden light faded, leaving Weisheng standing there, his hair now shining like molten silver, his robes fluttering dramatically in a nonexistent wind.

  ..I hate everything...

  The Aftermath

  The next morning, the entire sect was in an uproar.

  Word had spread that a nameless outer disciple had activated an Ancient Celestial Inheritance.

  By the time Li Yushengg arrived at the main hall, every arrogant young master in the sect had assembled, their eyes burning with jealousy and murder.

  At the forefront stood Mo Tianhao, heir to the Golden Phoenix Sect and undisputed champion of dramatic monologues. He pointed a trembling finger at Yusheng.

  -You! How dare a mere peasant like you obtain such an inheritance?!

  Li Yusheng sighed.

  - Look, I don’t even want it...

  Gasps echoed through the hall.

  Mo Tianhao’s face twisted in rage.

  -Such arrogance! You dare claim that the divine heavens forced power upon you?!

  Do you take us for fools?!

  Li Yusheng pinched the bridge of his nose.

  - I mean, yes, technically that is exactly what happened.

  The sect elders stroked their beards.

  - He must be a hidden expert - one murmured.

  - To possess such disdain for heavenly fortune… he must walk a path beyond our understanding.

  Li Yusheng groaned.

  -That’s not—

  - Silence! - Mo Tianhao unsheathed his sword.

  Face me in battle! If you refuse, you admit your guilt!

  Li Yusheng took a deep breath.

  -Fine.

  The Duel

  Mo Tianhao struck first, unleashing a Nine-Fire Heavenly Dragon Slash.

  The technique was so powerful that the surrounding disciples fainted just from witnessing it.

  Li Yusheng dodged purely by accident, stepping to the side in an attempt to adjust his sandal.

  The sword strike missed him entirely and instead sliced through a nearby spirit formation, which reflected the attack back at Mo Tianhao, sending him crashing through three walls and a priceless jade pillar.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Silence.

  Then the sect erupted into whispers.

  - His movements… so effortless… he saw through Mo Tianhao’s attack before it even landed!

  Li Yusheng gaped.

  - That’s not what—

  - He’s a hidden dragon! - someone shouted. A reincarnated god!

  Li Yusheng buried his face in his hands.

  -I just want to drink my tea!!!!!

  The Burden of Greatness (Or: How to Accidentally Become a Legend)

  After the duel, the sect elders wasted no time.

  - The heavens have spoken! - one of them declared.

  - He is a hidden dragon! - another murmured.

  - Destined for greatness!

  Before Li Yusheng could protest, they shoved the Sect Leader’s ceremonial robes into his arms, hoisted him onto the Grandmaster’s golden throne, and started chanting.

  He tried to explain. He tried to resist. He tried to fake his own death again.

  None of it worked.

  And so, Li Yusheng, who wanted nothing more than to live in obscurity, found himself crowned as the Unfathomable Dao Sovereign, a title as dramatic as the circumstances that had forced it upon him.

  ***

  Li Yusheng sat on his golden throne, rubbing his temples.

  The throne, which he hadn’t asked for, was uncomfortable, too shiny, and cursed with eternal levitation.

  Below him, a sea of disciples knelt in awe, their voices rising in a deafening chant:

  - LONG LIVE THE UNFATHOMABLE DAO SOVEREIGN!

  Li Yusheng sighed.

  - Please stop...

  They chanted louder.

  He glared at his latest problem—a sentient sword of cosmic destruction floating ominously at his side.

  It had materialized out of thin air the day before, introducing itself as “Celestial Tyrant, Destroyer of Realms” and refusing to leave.

  - Master, shall we smite the unworthy? - it asked, pulsing with holy energy.

  Li Yusheng: -No smiting!!!!

  The sword hummed in disappointment.

  - Perhaps just a little smiting?

  - Noooo!!!!

  The disciples gasped.

  - Such restraint! To possess a weapon that could obliterate the heavens yet refuse to use it… truly, his Dao is beyond comprehension!

  Li Yusheng buried his face in his hands.

  -I hate everything...

  The Reluctant Sect Leader

  Despite his best efforts, his influence only grew.

  ? A mysterious immortal declared Li Yushenghis long-lost disciple, despite the fact that they had never met.

  ? A forbidden artifact bonded with him, whispering apocalyptic secrets into his mind.

  ? The Divine Heavenly Council (which he hadn’t even known existed) tried to crown him as Supreme Celestial Emperor.

  ? The Empress of the Frozen Moon Palace sent him marriage proposals via enchanted snowflakes.

  By the time the 137th self-proclaimed rival appeared, challenging him to battle in the name of justice, Li Yusheng had had enough.

  He stood, robes flowing dramatically in an unseen wind of destiny. The crowd hushed.

  -…I’m retiring.

  Silence.

  Then the head elder coughed politely.

  - Supreme Dao Sovereign… I don’t think that’s how this works.

  Li Yusheng crossed his arms. -Watch me.

  ***

  After his completely accidental and unwanted rise to power, Li Yusheng spent exactly three days as the Unfathomable Dao Sovereign before deciding that he had had enough.

  The disciples worshiped him.

  The elders constantly sought his wisdom.

  The heavens themselves seemed determined to ensure that he never had a single moment of peace.

  He tried to delegate. He tried to hide. He tried to convince everyone that he was, in fact, just a very average guy who stepped on a dandelion at the wrong time.

  None of it worked.

  And so, like any reasonable person trapped in an unreasonable situation, he decided that the only way out was to fake his own death and run.

  The Great Escape (That Should Have Worked)

  His plan was simple.

  1. Fake his death.

  2. Disappear into obscurity.

  3. Open a teahouse.

  Step one went surprisingly well—a dramatic lightning strike, a pillar of divine light, and a well-timed illusion technique convinced the entire sect that he had ascended beyond the mortal realm.

  Step two… did not.

  Welcome to the Unfathomable Dao Teahouse (And Also, Chaos)

  A month later, far from civilization, in a peaceful valley untouched by sect politics, stood a quaint teahouse. A simple wooden sign hung above the door:

  “Unfathomable Dao Teahouse”

  Inside, Li Yusheng brewed tea in perfect tranquility.

  He had done it. He was free.

  Or so he thought.

  - Master!

  Yusheng : .........

  Yusheng froze mid-pour.

  A familiar, overly dramatic voice echoed through the teahouse.

  Slowly, painfully, he looked up.

  Mo Tianhao stood in the doorway, his robes torn and his eyes blazing with devotion.

  - I have traveled across a thousand mountains and ten thousand rivers to find you! Please, accept me as your disciple!

  Yusheng stared.

  - …No!!!

  Tianhao immediately knelt.

  - Then I shall prove my worth by serving you!

  Before Yusheng could even process this absolute nonsense, another voice called out.

  - Great Master! I, too, have come to seek your teachings!

  Then another.

  And another.

  Outside, a line of people stretched into the horizon—disciples, sect leaders, heavenly beings, wandering swordsmen, and at least one talking fox, all searching for the Unfathomable Dao Sovereign.

  A phoenix landed on the roof.

  A dragon coiled around the teahouse.

  A celestial envoy descended from the heavens, holding an imperial decree.

  Yusheng stared blankly at the growing crowd.

  -…I should have just stayed on the farm...

  Final Thoughts

  Li Yusheng, the Unfathomable Dao Sovereign, Heavenly Dao Tea Master, and Unwilling Supreme Being, sighed into his teacup.

  The universe refused to leave him alone.

  But at least the tea was good.

  The End…?

  (No. Definitely not.)