Na'eem was in a hospital room. Drip lines connected into his veins. The doctor said they only needed a little more blood before he was dismissed. Na'eem could only nod, his head felt so dizzy. He didn't know why he was here, why he couldn't go back to training. It was easier to shut out his thoughts when he was training.

  A few years later

  Na'eem was in a more comfortable bed, same thing as last time. He chose this time to rest instead of think about training. It was a little harder to rest this time, his dreams were restless and filled with memories he wasn't sure were his own.

  He was pretty sure he was dying. And what felt stranger was that this didn't feel like the first time.

  His head filled with a fuzzy haze before he woke up.

  The medic looked down at him. Na'eem was sitting in a chair, dirty and covered in dried sweat.

  'This girl, even if she survives this operation,' the medic said, clicking his surgical tools together, 'She's never going to be the same.'

  'She's going to survive.' Na'eem said.

  She has to. She has to. Right?

  His mind went back to the Yuxi he'd seen at the military base. Was she the same? Did she have the same dreams that Yuxi had?

  Na'eem watched the medic operate quietly, holding back his breath from time to time. Na'eem only knew the views of charred corpses, never what came before or what came after. He didn't wince at the sight of blood but he couldn't hide the fact that it hurt to see her bleed. He had cauterised wounds before, he had saved lives before.

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  But only just a few.

  Not enough to balance out what he'd done.

  Yuxi didn't really know Na'eem the way the rest of the inhumans did. Because she wasn't on the frontlines. She didn't see the buildings light up into flame, or the people inside those buildings.

  Na'eem breathed.

  The damaged lung lay on the operating table. It was his fault, his damaged lung.

  He thought about what he was going to say, how he was going to apologise. If he hadn't been were he was, if she hadn't dove down to save him, she would have been just fine.

  Na'eem was running. Seven laps, eight laps. His muscles sprained, his heart hurting, he kept moving. The baggy military outfit was starting to fit him just a little. His head was growing light. But still he kept running.

  Your only purpose is to fight.

  That's what all the inhumans were told, or so he had been told. He had to fight and fight for this country because it was all that kept him safe. He didn't know what it was they were fighting for or what they were doing to keep him safe.

  He wished he did.

  Maybe he would have tried harder.

  But all he really wanted to do was runaway.

  'Hey'

  The voice was so soft and yet it rang out. Na'eem's eyes snapped open. Yuxi was there, caressing her hand against his cheek. He grabbed her arms tightly; she was real.

  'O-Ow! Too tight too tight' she squealed, but it was a light-hearted sound. She looked so calmly at him. Her eyes were paradise and he was melting in them.

  'I-I,' he stuttered, thinking over every apology he'd rehearsed but unable to finish any of them.

  'I'm sorry.'

  'For what?'

  She blinked at him, tilting her head quizzingly at him. 'For the explosion and,' he tripped over his words, making small but panicked movements with his hands, 'and- you getting hurt, I...'

  He faltered again.

  It was weirdly hard to talk to her now. He felt embarrassed? Ashamed? Maybe a mixture of both.

  She smiled softly. A genuine smile.

  'You're so dumb'

  Na'eem looked at her, he felt confused. And just a little upset that she wasn't upset at him.

  Yuxi coughed a little, she put his hand to her chest.

  'You saved me, didn't you?'

  'I should've done more...'

  'You did your best.'

  Again, Na'eem wanted to say something but he didn't know if it was the right time. It never was the right time. This time he bit his tongue.

  He hugged Yuxi.

  'I missed you.' he mumbled, but he didn't know if she heard him.