Chapter Seven

  "Don't push me! Don't push me!"

  "Oh no, whose paws stepped on someone's face! Oh no! Someone's delicate face!"

  "Who's squeezing! Who! Squeezing the boat! All squeezed into a big pancake!"

  "I'm freezing to death, move over and give me some space! Move over and give me some space! Let me in! Why doesn't the master turn on the heater? Doesn't he know that being stingy will only make him poorer?"

  Huh?

  "Report to Second Brother, Big Brother is no good, what to do?"

  "Come on and eat, big brother, who's coming?!"

  "Me me me me!"

  "Me first! Me first! Me first! Me first!"

  "Get out of my way, I'm going to let the whole world know that big brother's gut has been taken over by me."

  Huh?

  What sound?

  In the darkness, all I could hear was the rustling sound that kept echoing in my ears...

  When he received these voices, he only felt a severe headache in his head, as if millions of needles were pricking - before losing consciousness, Jiang Chuan's unparalleled loud noise, Fang Yu's face that was said to have forgotten to bring the key, the billboard with Xu Qianqian's advertisement falling from the sky, Jiang Luocheng's panicked face, and... The suddenly darkened world - those scenes were transmitted into his brain like a lantern slide...

  Strange, is there still consciousness after death?

  Am I already in heaven?

  Yes, Yuan Jianyan guessed that he should have gone to heaven because at this moment, he felt as if he were in a strange and comfortable place - and why was he so sure that this was the so-called heaven? First, Yuan Jianyan thought he should be dead; secondly, good people who died should go to heaven; finally, Yuan Jianyan was obviously a good person in the eyes of most people, and this "most people" naturally included himself...

  Although this is a somewhat strange paradise - and not the kind of paradise he had imagined, putting aside the hubbub of those random conversations for now, at this moment, Jian Ran only felt as if his entire body was bathed in a soft, warm, and fluffy swimming pool...

  Is this what heaven feels like?

  Although it's quite comfortable.

  He calmly thought to himself, the warm and fuzzy feeling of being surrounded by a crowd made him feel like yawning - and as an elegant superstar, he almost subconsciously wanted to raise his hand to cover his mouth to politely finish the yawn. So, in a state of suddenness, his brain dazedly gave out an order to "raise his hand" - by the time he finally came to, he was already dead and shouldn't have been able to make any movements, but a miraculous scene unfolded at that very moment...

  He actually felt that his nerve endings had produced a high-level biological reaction in his brain's pituitary gland.

  To put it simply, he felt as if his fingers had moved.

  “……”

  Let me reiterate, dead people don't move.

  So what's going on?

  I'm not dead?

  I'm not dead?!?!?!

  At this moment, as if to confirm his speculation, just when he was hesitantly frightened and unsure whether to accept this surprising guess, he suddenly heard the various noises around him becoming more three-dimensional in his ears, rather than his own illusion. When he sniffed his nose, he could even smell a pleasant woody scent floating in the air, like the aroma of a stylish resort hotel's wooden house...

  This is absolutely, absolutely the taste of human world.

  He, Yuan Jinyan, is not dead.

  Not dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  He couldn't react too much to the current situation, so he quickly calmed down and tried to open his eyes, then asked the people around him to be quiet and not disturb his rest. However, just as he was about to open his eyes, he felt a huge fluffy thing rubbing against him. Before he could even see who brought the dog into the hospital, a loud slap landed on his face!

  Jian Ran: "What?"

  Jian Ran: "!!!!!!!!!".

  Damn it!

  Who?!

  Stop right there, I'll beat you to death!

  He suddenly opened his eyes, just about to explode, when he saw a huge, fluffy creature with two small, beady eyes staring at him. The creature's massive head filled his entire field of vision, and it was calmly looking back at him. For a moment, the two locked eyes, and just as Jian Ran was about to exclaim "What the fuck is this monster?!", he suddenly saw that the creature had opened its mouth to speak.

  "Hey, Eighth Brother, they're eating Big Brother, do you want some?"

  Jian Ran: “…………………………………”

  Mom, the monster can talk! Mom!!!!!!!!!!

  The monster also invited me to eat with big brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Wait a minute.

  "What's with 'big brother'?"

  Jian Ran suddenly shrank back, earning a warm greeting of "Ah, squeezing the boat" from the person behind him. He quickly turned his head to warn the person behind him that there was a monster and to hurry up, but after making the motion of turning his head, Jian Ran discovered that his line of sight had only shifted by a tiny bit in the direction he wanted to turn towards.

  It's as if he had no neck at all - haha, but how is that possible? He's Yuan Chenyan, the superstar of Spicy Chicken, with a top-notch figure and a long neck to match.

  At this time, the monster next to him stretched out its incredibly powerful claws and slapped him again: "What are you looking at? Are you going to eat or not? - Ah, hurry up and finish eating, it's better if you don't go, I also think it's very perverted for us to eat big brother like this. After all, in the eyes of humans, we're so cute, and doing something that makes desire boil over is really ugly."

  Suddenly, he was slapped and became dizzy, without time to think about what "human" and "we" represent, or what the profound phrase "desire boiling over" meant. At this moment, he subconsciously followed the direction of the strange creature's pointing, and then he saw a scene that made him want to faint: a pile of fluffy, enormous hamsters, each as big as Jian Ran, were currently "squeaking" and squeezing together, frantically waving their sturdy paws, tearing apart one of their own kind.

  Blood splattered everywhere.

  Bloody and gruesome.

  Until their peers were eaten to the bone, leaving only a bloody skin.

  “………………………………………”

  When he finally came back to himself, his entire "body" was stuck to the transparent wall behind him.

  My flesh is creeping.

  The scene in front of him was absurd to the point where he began to suspect that from start to finish, this was a prank variety show. From Jiang Luo Cheng's appearance to the billboard falling down and then to now when he opened his eyes to find himself in an enclosed space filled with giant hamsters, one of which was even talking, asking him if he wanted to eat together...

  It's just like the prelude to a horror movie.

  He held his breath for one second, two seconds, three seconds.

  Finally decided to tolerate no more.

  "Where is the production team? I'm going to sue them into bankruptcy."

  A sentence that is more calm than anything else.

  When he spoke out loud, however, Jian Ran heard in his own ears the sound of "tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk".

  This voice is too three-dimensional, it's as if it came out of his throat, haha.

  Hehe.

  Take a deep breath, inhale and exhale slowly

  Jian Ran: "Qiu qiu (hello)."

  Jian Ran: "......"

  "Chirp chirp chirp chirp (I am human)."

  Jian Ran: "......"

  "Resolutely defend the Communist Party of China, overthrow feudal superstition."

  Jian Ran: "………………………………"

  "Hahaha! What are you talking about? Am I a human or an elephant?"

  Deaf to the ridicule of the mice around him, he stiffened his face and lowered his head to look at himself. When trying to raise his hand, he found that his paws were as big as those of the "mice" in front of him.

  He twisted his head and saw in the reflection of the transparent wall beside him, a milky tea-colored thing was clumsily turning its stout body, trying to turn its face towards the other side of the wall.

  Cautiously approaching the wall, in the reflection, that thing also approached the wall.

  He cautiously took a step back, and in the reflection, that thing also lifted its short legs and retreated to a place farther away from the wall.

  Jian Ran: "............"

  Wall shadow: “…………”

  Look up, and as far as the eye can see, there are countless balls of fur that have grown exponentially larger than they were in memory, squeezed among the wood shavings, pushing and squeezing each other. Even the faces that were pressed to the bottom had been flattened into pancakes, yet still wore a look of contentment. He couldn't help but think that if it weren't for the fact that those faces were now too big for his current self, he might have sincerely praised them: "So cute."

  But now he really can't be praised.

  To be exact, at this moment he can't fart a single fart.

  As he was spacing out thinking about the feasibility of "humans suddenly turning into hamsters", he heard the sound of slippers "pata pata" coming from afar, a sound that to him now seemed like Godzilla invading the city - then, he saw a young man wearing a white shirt, as tall and large as Godzilla, with a pink apron on his chest, approaching this way.

  He stuck back against the wall behind him with a look of terror on his face.

  Then he saw the Godzilla with a human face, who was annoyed and lifted the roof of the place where he was. A huge hand came down from the sky and chased away the giant mice that were gathering together to "eat big brother". At the same time, it complained in a familiar and universal human language: "What's going on, eating one more... Tomorrow I'll give you all separate cages to raise, you're boring me to death, you little turtle bastards."

  Godzilla used its gloved hand to throw out the remaining skin of "Big Brother".

  The younger brothers surrounding "Big Brother" dispersed in a hurry.

  All that's left is a terrified face tightly stuck on the glass wall, and all that's left in his mind are two words infinitely looping -

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