Retreating from the stage following the set I was set up to do, I wander back into a corner and sit. Far, far away from everyone else, the sound, the lights, and everything. My heart is racing. Absolutely thundering in my chest, and the whole room feels like it's pressing in on me from every side and only barely blocking out the announcer apologizing to the crowd I just abandoned.

  To try to alleviate it, I close my eyes and try to hum one of my favorite songs to myself, but I just can't really manage to find the tune with the loud music and louder words playing just beyond the curtain.

  I don't think I can keep this up. The first few shows at very small venues with a couple dozen people were fine, but…hundreds? I don't know if I can handle it. Too many people. Too loud.

  I'll…just go home. Nothing wrong with that. Maxi said there are other jobs he suggested.

  "Lilly, what's wrong?" I feel Sashe Blackthorn's hand delicately fall on my shoulder and have to withdraw further, hiding my face in my knees and dress.

  All I can muster in response is, "Can't do it."

  "Can't do what, dear?" Her presence gets closer and I feel a rush of some air as she sits down next to me.

  I can't ignore her, so I look up wiping away some traitorous tears and leave behind transparent golden streaks on my arm. "It's too much. Too many people, too much noise. I can't do it. Sorry for wasting your and everyone elses's time." I choke back some more emotions before I continue, "I… I was always just playing at wanting to be the center of attention, I guess. I'm not good enough to do it."

  She meets my eyes with her own, strange, void-black ones, the limbal ring of passion essence holds me steady like it always does when we talk. "Oh. That's it?"

  The dismissiveness, obviously meant in good humor, just needles me deeper and harder, though. "What do you mean, "that's it"? I've built my whole life and persona around doing exactly this and now I've realized I can't even handle a small show. There's a lot of "it" there! And that's not even accounting for whole "sultry" thing you tried to get me to pull off!"

  "I'm saying "that's it" because I think it's a solvable problem. Like you just said, you claim to have wanted this your entire life, and you're, what, throwing in the towel at the first sign of resistance?

  I guess I was right in my initial assumptions about you after all."

  She rises to stand, pointedly looking down at me and I glare back up at her, feeling a rising heat and sharp indignance in me. "And what assumptions were those?"

  "Oh, I don't know if I should waste your time with them. If you're not going to be staying around, I don't see much reason to drag you down further. Don't feel bad, this sort of life isn't for everyone."

  With an awful and enraging casualness, she spins on her heel and starts to walk away, so I hop to my feet to chase her. "No, I want to know. You're always talking about growth and learning, so tell me what you have been thinking." I put a hand on her arm and pull her around to see a disbelieving face alternating between staring into my eyes and looking down at my hand.

  "Fine. Do you want to hear it? I felt like you were someone who had coasted on her charm to offset her lackluster abilities and plain looks all while building up an ego so large it could fill that entire showroom out there. You claim your magic can't help you in any way doing this, which is tacitly false — I've seen the bits of altering you do to your clothes. That sort of thing would be a fantastic inclusion.

  But no. Ms. Lilly can't suffer even a single challenge since she's used to being doted upon by that cute boy and the saurin girl she hangs around with as the center of their worlds."

  Every word makes me more and more mad. Dispelling my morose mood with the first legitimate anger I've felt in a long time. I wasn't even this mad when Olly and Ayre blew off my warning about the Demon King. At least then they were tired from a full day of travel and Olly had just had a mental breakdown.

  "I'll just show you the truth then, and we'll see what you have to say, then." Call me plain? I'll show her plain.

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  I step back a bit as she looks at me appraisingly, waiting expectantly.

  [Stretch and shift my shape, my size, let me see through fairer eyes!]

  I issue the incantation with more aplomb than I think I ever have before, and my essence responds with equal gusto — maybe overeager since I've been using it so little lately.

  But when the storm of golden essence finishes and begins to dissipate I've tossed aside the glamor I've been operating under this entire time.

  Revealing myself fully to the now widely smiling felid matron, wings and all to the chiming song of my essence speaking aloud for the first time in a while.

  Doing the one thing I told myself I wouldn't do. In front of the largest and most influential gossip in the city.

  Well, I've done it. So there's no point in acting meek now, so I put on every single ounce of my true royal air that I can.

  She steals my thunder, though, using her uncanny ability to to control a conversation. "Alright, so you can cast an illusion to make yourself hotter and put on some wings. The cracked skin is a nice touch. Very exotic. Do you want a cookie or something? This is exactly what I meant when I said your magic could easily be used to put on a show"

  She doesn't even get it!

  It makes me even madder for a moment…until an idea strikes me as I'm about to say more.

  Instead, I settle down, restraining myself, something Sashe definitely notices.

  "And now you look like you're thinking. Do share. I assumed this whole display was going to lead to an epiphany of some kind or at least a grander outcome than some sparkles and illusory wings." Her tone drops all of the put-on venom she had been speaking with, letting me realize that I'd been thoroughly played again by her. Again.

  "Just thinking about why I got overwhelmed."

  "Yeah?"

  "Well, it was all of the eyes and the noise. If I could do all the dancing for the bigger shows from back here, then I wouldn't have to get exposed to all of it until I'm more comfortable with it."

  "I have to admit that I don't follow. You want to dance without being on stage? How would that work?"

  Instead of answering, I step back, now focused on my potential solution.

  [Shelter, shade, and hide intent,]

  [Copy my body, echo my scent.]

  [Mirror my shape, my reflected sprite,]

  [And dance in my place 'til dark falls with night.]

  As my incantation goes on, I close my eyes to better visualize exactly what I want, and when the dust settles, I'm looking at a near-identical copy of myself, but with a few distinctions. This me doesn't have the cracks running through her skin and has amethyst eyes instead of gold — a detail that always pokes through when I make copies like this. It's an oddity, but I rather like the look. It's always made me wish I could have eyes like that, like Olly sometimes does. But no matter what I do, illusion or otherwise, mine stay doggedly faegold..

  I smile, and see my smile reflected like a mirror, which broadens both smiles. Wings flutter behind both of me as I go through a brief few test movements. All replicated with no delay in perfect detail. Down to the positioning of my fingers, small motions of my eyes, and even how my hair falls.

  After I finish, Sashe seems to have lost all of her wit. "Did…did you just create an essence construct in that short of an incantation? How?"

  "You said I was plain and that my magic was useless, so I released my glamor to demonstrate." I huff at her as she looks gobsmacked.

  The answer doesn't seem to make any difference for her current state, so I just lean forward on my toes with my copy after turning to face her and both of us poke her in the nose. "Cat got your tongue?" The words come from both places at once with perfectly matched tone.

  Her felid ears twitch in annoyance at the prod. "Okay. So, Lilly. This isn't an illusion? The wings and stuff? I know the construct is an illusion, to be clear. But I can't really sense any of the essence you've used, so I'm more than a bit confused."

  "What you knew of me as was the illusion…and it really still should be. I got worked up since you were being so mean. Can I ask you to not mention this to anyone? I'm trying to keep a low profile."

  "You? Trying to keep a low profile? You came to get work in one of the most visible positions you can find in this city. Pretty much only that scaly friend of yours is any sort of competition for number of eyes. Besides! Think about how well this would go over! Nobody needs to know that this isn't the normal you! What is the normal you? I've never seen someone with wings like that before…nor the dust thing. Maxi said you were related to sidhe?"

  "Well, that has an easy answer, but I would need you to promise to not spread it around. But I would also say that that promise will be binding, as fair warning."

  She eyes me with only the utmost suspicion. "That sounds quite a lot like a verbal contract. I know some people who work contract magic. You can summon constructs, perform complex and lasting illusions, and do contract magic?"

  "I really can't answer further without that promise. Sorry, Sashe."

  "Fine! Whatever. My curious mind is more interested than my gossips heart is. I promise I won't tell anyone unless I need to for your or someone else's wellbeing." She pauses, letting the statement stand for a moment before explaining. "I’ve come under verbal contracts before. I'm not about to say something that general without providing a logical out in case of extreme situations."

  I nod, letting out a sigh, before I settle in to explain what, exactly, I am.