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Chapter 28 - Man Plans and God Laughs

  I had to clear my head. Reading Eli’s Status Screen brought up so many damn questions and I just had to do something in order to process the way my brain was flying at a million miles per hour. But my thoughts didn’t truly matter at the moment, all of us had actual, physical, important things to do before pondering the bigger questions of the Universe that someone decided to plop into our collective laps.

  Thankfully, cleanup didn’t take long. The next steps however, butchering the meat while also trying to get Elvis’ house properly set up to accommodate Eli and Paul took way longer than I had expected. Any and all waste was super easy for me to get rid of, either bury it deep in the earth with magic or use my Alchemy to break it down into something useful for later. But when it came to our food supply, everybody had a different opinion on how to preserve the meat. And then of course, they all had their own opinions for how to build additions to the house that had melted away. All I wanted to do was kick everyone out and have some peace and quiet with my wife in my own home. That stubborn part of me wanted my home to be for just my wife and myself. I’d gotten to the point where I was sick of people and opinions and just wanted everyone to shut up.

  My social battery was running REAL low.

  “TOMORROW!” I roared, cutting through the noise. “Fucking tomorrow! We will deal with all this shit, tomorrow.”

  “But where am I going to sleep?” Thomas said, his arms crossed. The late afternoon sun cast shadows all over the back yard and the stone walls only made it worse. We were running out of light.

  “In our house! Don’t be silly!” Sandra turned to me and scoffed a bit. “Honey, you’re tired. We should-”

  “Babe!” I interrupted, holding up one hand. “I know I’m tired. Everyone’s tired.” Sighing, I reined in the sharpness of my tone. “Sorry, it’s been a long day and nobody deserves me grumping around. We do have maybe an hour of sunlight left. I didn’t mean that I was kicking everyone out on the street tonight. That’s crazy and I’m not evil. What I meant was, tomorrow we ARE figuring out better housing arrangements.” Thomas and Elvis nodded along with me and Eli looked back and forth between us like a lost lamb. I continued on. “I made those stone Lego blocks for easy house building and I can make plenty more tomorrow. Also, Thomas brought up a good point, we should build a big house with those and then cover it with dirt like this house so it’s a nicely insulated and partially hidden Hobbit home.”

  “You’re going to make an underground mansion that looks like a hobbit house?”

  “Yes Thomas.” I said. “That amount of dirt is a crazy insulator against heat and cold. I have earth magic, not crazy ‘wave-a-wand-and-make-air conditioning’ magic.” My mockery made him laugh.

  “Shit, what I wouldn’t give for Harry Potter magic to be real, right now.” He said, mimicking waving a wand. “Cakeiuess! Appearus!”

  Sandra perked up. “Oooo! If you find ingredients for a cake, I’ll make it!” She turned to me. “Speaking of cake, any ideas on fixing my oven?”

  “Uh, the one inside the house that runs on electricity and now doesn’t work?” My face flattened out. “No, babe. I don’t have that kind of magic. We’re going ot need to make an outdoor oven and use that. Making electricity or jury-rigging all of this to work off of mana is a bit out of my wheelhouse. Besides, we have bigger concerns right now, like getting this meat put away and crafting lights for the house.”

  Sandra nodded along before lighting up. “Oooo! Uh, I have candles and a few oil lamps! I’ll go get them. Underground houses are great for a lot of things but they sure don’t let in any light.”

  A deep voice with a thick accent called out.

  “Did someone say lights?”

  “Who’s that?” Eli asked, looking around.

  Elvis laughed, standing up and walking towards the gate to the back yard. “That would be Paul. Where the hell has that useful bastard been all day?” Elvis, Thomas, and Sandra

  Eli fidgeted. “Are you allowed to curse?” He looked at me. “Am I allowed to curse?”

  I was torn between laughing and exasperation. “This is the part where I’d say that, ‘I ain’t your parent, kid’, but after seeing your Status Screen kid . . . I couldn’t tell ya.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means, the answer would be ‘yes, you can curse’. The world ended and your father gave you up and you are your own true authority.” Sighing as my thoughts continued to stew on what I remembered. “Grow in Grace. Your entire damn power set throws a week’s worth of hypothesizing outta the damn window. Maybe you have to ‘be good’ in order for your powers to grow.”

  He twiddled his thumbs and gulped. “Well, uh, what does that mean?”

  “It means I don’t know shit!” I rubbed my face with my hands. “Sorry, bit uh, tired. No, that’s not the right word. I’m exhausted and I’m taking it out on everyone.” I looked him in the eye. “Sorry, Eli. You don’t deserve that. My brain is stretched thinner than my nerves.”

  “It’s ok. Dad used to yell way worse than this.”

  My heart broke a little on the inside. “Same, dude. Same.” I’ll deny to my dying day that my voice was a bit raggedy but I did go inside and get us both a stiff drink. His glass only had a little.

  “In modernity, you’re a child.” I said sagely, clinking our glasses and sliding one over to him. “But two hundred years ago, you would’ve been on the front lines of any battle holding a saber and a musket. With us battling magic insanity on a daily basis, I think the old rules apply. So drink up, chap. Cheers.” I adopted an awful British accent to cheer him up as I downed the whiskey.

  I watched him stare at the glass for a moment before gathering his courage and slamming it down with gusto. His tearful coughing made me laugh.

  “It’s all right. Gets easier as you get older. Probably should’ve started with beer but we’re low on options.” I pushed my empty glass to the center of the table and used my finger to mark a circle around the glass, the stone table molding according to my will. The raised border formed a rough circle and I set my hands on it. Bits of mana flowed through the circle and into it as I engaged my Alchemy as a bit of show. Within a few seconds, the whiskey glass stood as a four inch tall glass statue of Buzz Lightyear. I let the afternoon light glint off the little action figure before I reshaped it into a small plate.

  “So, I figured that our abilities, be they magic or super powers or something else were pretty much static. The Status Screen shows what ‘Is’. It lays out our Traits and our Abilities and they sort of line up next to each other pretty well. I don’t see a ‘Level Up’ button or a plus/minus sign anywhere. But that’s pretty much it, except sometimes I’ve noticed an ‘asterisk’ around numbers or ability names or traits. I never really knew what that meant, even though I had an inkling, but my guess is that the asterisk meant something like ‘subject to change or improvement’.”

  Eli’s blank stare told me he had no clue what I was talking about.

  “Okay, like this. The asterisk, to me, meant that something about that ability was subject to change. Like my Super-Strength ability. With a base scale of one, but my actual Strength characteristic number is a ‘four’ with an asterisk, I think I can be even stronger if I work out. OR, if I have my feet in the ground and use my trait of ‘Grounded’ to enhance my ability.”

  Seeing the light dawn on his face, my excitement grew. “And Elvis, he has Super-Strength too! But he has a ‘Berserked’ ability or trait that activates when he’s enraged, and can greatly boost his already ridiculous strength. Same with Paul, the more sunlight he stores the more powerful he is. At high noon, he’s unstoppable.”

  His eyes grew wide as he looked at his status again. “But all of my abilities have an asterisk!”

  “Right. You’re pathetically weak.”

  “Hey!”

  “Buuuut . . . everything about your powers can grow!” I said, my excitement bleeding over, my cup bouncing in my hand as I tried to not accidentally crush it in my grip. “My powers are simple, and only improve as I get better at using them. The very core of your abilities is meant to evolve. Who knows what awesome powers you’ll have down the road!?”

  *******

  The final hours of daylight ushered us all inside like a mother hen gathering her chicks to the safety of the coop. Suburban nights were no longer peaceful affairs where one could take a relaxing walk to the park or just chill with a drink on the front porch and watch neighborhood life stroll by. Now, it heralded something darker. Something more dangerous.

  “Are you sure that’s thick enough?” My wife asked, holding the sunstone up to illuminate the circular slab of a door I’d shaped from stone. It blocked off the entryway into our house, a veritable boulder clogging up a tunnel.

  “It’s two feet thick.” I said for the third time. “AND! And, I put serious effort into making that damn door harder than steel. There are no cracks, no seams, no nothing. Maybe Elvis or Paul could break through it but I have to do it if we want to actually use it like a door. I’ll install a proper hinge for both the front and back doors tomorrow. Right now, I’ve got plenty of other work to do.”

  Sandra looked at the door with distrust before bustling around the house to gather up and light candles. “Are you sure I can light these? Shouldn’t we just use the sunstone?”

  I sighed. “Babe, there are small vents around the house to circulate air. Yes, I built stone screens all throughout the tiny vent tunnels so nothing will come into the house. Also, you have a bunch of small magical plants in pots around us to help with keeping the air fresh. I’m not worried about that at all.”

  Thomas looked around and then at me. “She’s making valid points, man.”

  “I’m not arguing here, I’m explaining that I’ve already taken precautions with this stuff.”

  My brother crossed his arms. “Sure, maybe. But you haven’t told anyone.”

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Looking around the room, the deep shadows cast by the sunstone made it appear that everyone was glaring at me.

  “Does anybody else have any concerns?” I said mildly. “I was planning on doing some Alchemy work in the basement and getting some planning done before hittin’ the hay.”

  Elvis coughed. “Uhm, boss. Where are we sleeping?

  My wife’s glare heated up in my direction as I tugged on my collar.

  “Honey! We have guests!” She said, her hands on her hips.

  “I’m on it!”

  Ten minutes later, pillows and blankets were distributed to Paul, Elvis, Thomas and Eli and the sunstone sat in the center of the dining room so it could cast some light into the living room and the kitchen. Small candles illuminated the darkest corners of the room. After getting everyone settled, Paul and Eli joined me down in the basement as my wife stayed upstairs and made sure everything was just right for our guests.

  “Oh, in case y’all haven’t done this, Paul, this is Eli. Eli . . . Paul.” I laughed quietly. “Eli, Paul has knockoff Superman powers and Paul, Eli has baby angel powers that can maybe grow if we figure out how.”

  Eli mimicked my sheepish grin, his stub wings fluttering awkwardly.

  Keeping the momentum going since everyone was set on being socially challenged, I asked, “So, didja’ find anything good?” I didn’t wait for an answer before firing up the Alchemy ritual table. A pile of branches sat next to a block of wood and two plates of bug chitin. Drumming my fingers, I grabbed a hide from one of the fox-deers.

  Paul watched as the materials dissolved and handed me things I pointed at.

  “Yes boss. Logs for firewood. Seed packs inside of toolboxes. Tools. More metal. That wagon was very useful.”

  Eli watched as Paul ticked off his fingers recounting the stuff he’d scavenged over the course of the latter half of the day. It all blurred together for a moment until I caught the word ‘medicine’.

  I sat up straighter, almost losing my focus. Grimacing, I held up a finger so I could concentrate and finish crafting the set household necessities. After a few minutes, the light cleared up to reveal a stack of plates along with a clean pile of chopsticks. Next to those were toothbrushes, combs, toothpicks, and shaving razors.

  Turning around, I put all the new goods on a different table and focused all of my attention on Paul.

  “Apologies, say that last part again? Please?”

  He pulled a satchel off his shoulder and placed it on the table.

  “Her Majesty-”

  I shot him a heated glare.

  “Eh-hmmm, I mean, your wife, long may she reign-”

  “Spit it out, Paul.” I said, my voice just barely a growl.

  “These are for you.” He said quickly, quickly emptying the satchel on the table. “A project you’d forgotten, something you had in mind?”

  I sighed. He was right. And he was as right as he was weird. And it irked me that there was an automatic response for him to treat MY wife as some kind of royalty but at this point it had kind of become a strange idiosyncrasy that he just couldn’t help. He acted like a British palaceguard in her presence.

  “Oh, this too.”

  Paul stepped away into the other side of the basement and returned with two large chunks of stone. In the candlelight, the one in his left hand glistened like fire. He set them down gently.

  I touched the stones, my Terrastria telling me that one was pure quartz and the other was solid granite. Leaning back and taking a deep breath, I shook my head.

  “What’s all this for?” Eli asked, his eyes bouncing back and forth between the strange assortment of items and raw materials in front of us.

  Paul coughed. “If I may, boss?”

  Nodding my assent as I didn’t actually know what the second plan was, I gestured for Paul to explain. He flicked the stones with a fingernail, the crystal making a clear chime and the granite a dull thunk.

  “The sunstone,” he started, pointing at the ceiling above us in the direction of the dining room where the magical glowing rock sat. “It must be planted, but it can also be grown. It is the nexus between earth and plant, it is crystal which can be grown.”

  I leaned forward, listening intently. This was news to me.

  Paul let out a huff. “Events conspired against me, us. We should have planted it sooner but that doesn’t matter now.” He looked at me. “You can make more. You can fix this. I know, no, I remember more of what Yoruba told me. The sunstone isn’t just meant to help, it is meant to help ALL. All of humanity. It must be sown, cared for . . .”

  He gestured in the air, searching for a word.

  “Cultivated?” I said, trying to fill in the blank.

  “More. We can make more. YOU can make more.”

  Eli looked at the crystal and the stone and then at Paul. “Are you asking him to make more sunstones? Using these? Can he do that?”

  Seeing Paul nodding in fervent agreement, I shrugged and went upstairs, snagging the sunstone and one of the weird seed pods from my magical backyard fruit tree.

  “Okay.” I said, clearing my throat. “I’m going to experiment like a mad scientist but also talk out loud so we can all follow along. This is a refresher for me and an overview for the both of ya. ” Drumming my fingers on the ritual table, I started putting the ingredients next to each other. “Alchemy uses the principle of equivalent exchange to transmute existing materials and energy into new or different forms of matter. It can also imbue symbolic meaning or representations of matter or energy into new forms of matter, like making a stick as tough as steel or a piece of steel unusually bendy.”

  Seeing that they were following along, I put my finger on the sunstone. “So, here . . . I’m going to try and make this sunstone grow using the crystal as the base material, the granite as excess material to fill in the gaps, and then this fruit which is chock full of magical energy. Bada bing, bada boom, Alchemy magic hocus pocus and we have several glowing magical rocks that function like glorified solar panels.”

  Eli tentatively touched the satchel of medicine with his hand. “Does that mean this shouldn’t be here?”

  “Yes, thank you.” I said. “Please put it over there with the other medical supplies. I’ll get to that later.”

  As Eli turned to do so, his stub wings caught the light from the sunstone.

  “Hey, Eli?”

  “Yes?”

  “Any chance I can get a feather or two from you?” I asked. “Something tells me a hint of ‘angelic essence’ may be just the thing we need.”

  He shrugged, reaching back and getting a hold of two feathers. His fingers slipped right through them at first until he closed his eyes and concentrated. As if plugged into a power outlet, the wings brightened until they became physical manifestations and he gave a quick yank.

  Sagging with exhaustion, he leaned forward placing them in my hand. I caught him before he could hit the ground.

  “Okay, didn’t know that would take ya down.”

  He smiled weakly. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine in the morning. Using a feather really takes it out of me. “I hope this works. I can’t wait to see more Alchemy!”

  I heard a door slam open.

  “I KNOW YOU’RE NOT DOING COOL SHIT WITHOUT ME!”

  We all whirled to see Sandra stomping down the stairs. Her blonde hair caught the candlelight making her like a fire demon stalking towards us.

  “I GET LEFT AT THE HOUSE ALL DAY BY MYSELF AND THE ONE TIME COOL THINGS ARE GETTING DONE WHEN I’M NEAR AND YOU DON’T EVEN INVITE ME!”

  I gulped as blue energy flickered off of her like lightning tendrils, her hair up and wriggling in the air as she floated down. Oh so cautiously, I hid behind Eli.

  “Don’t hurt me!” I cried piteously. “He made me do it!”

  Eli froze as the horrific visage of my wife touched down lightly at the foot of the stairs.

  The blue energy vanished as two platters of food floated out from behind her back. Her hands held a stack of cups and a pitcher of water.

  My seemingly now harmless wife laughed as she set out meat skewer snacks and drinks.

  “Oh relax, I was just kidding.” She said, smirking at us. “Besides, I felt Grant’s excitement through our bond and decided to just pop in.”

  I heard a CRACK! Turning, I saw Paul kneeling with his head in the concrete.

  “My Queen!”

  Scoffing, I yanked Paul up to his feet and saw that Eli was white as a sheet.

  “Was I really that scary?” Sandra asked, placing filled cups of water in hands and skewers of meat in the other. “I was just floating like a ghost?”

  Eli’s knees knocked together as he slowly tried to put his cup down. His hands were shaking so bad he spilled a bit.

  “Uh, ma-ma-mam?” He stuttered. “You looked like an angry lightning ghost!”

  “A wrathful messenger of the gods!” Paul proclaimed. His zealous expression fled as I glared at him again. “Apologies, my queen. You present a fearsome visage.” My glare intensified. Paul smartly shut his mouth and darted to the side, retrieving a chair, moving it next to the Alchemy table and backing away.

  I marched Paul to the far side of the table and put his hands on the ritual circle and then walked back to Eli where I gently guided him into the chair to stay seated. Without further explanation, I took my wife’s hand and led her to the table.

  “I’m so tired of talking today.” I muttered. Raising my voice to be easily heard, I exaggeratedly put my own hands on the ritual circle. “Okay, experiment time. Please just gently put energy into the circle while I do my thing. I’m trying to make MORE sunstones. Any questions?”

  My wife opened her mouth to speak but I shot her a message through our mental link.

  “Just hold on and you’ll see the full picture. I know you have plenty of questions.”

  Starting the ritual only took an infusion of energy from me but this time I had two extra sources of power to draw upon. Paul’s energy, his mana, felt the most similar to the energy already stored within the sunstone at the center of the table. Light in its most unyielding form, an unstoppable wave of illumination all bound up within a human being. Sandra’s energy felt natural, as if there were just more of her IN her. Green. Describing a feeling like a color just felt right. She felt alive and green and condensed and bursting with substance.

  I didn’t yank on the energy leaking out of their hands, merely letting the ritual circle fill up with my own energy as I built the vision of my goal in my mind. Step by step, piece by piece, I teased forth hints of energy that were eager to come forth. By being willing, by virtue of putting their hands on the ritual circle, Paul and Sandra had consented to giving of themselves, their energy and time to make this work. And that was enough.

  My own power served as the forge, the vehicle by which transmutation was made possible. Paul’s inner light excited the stored sunlight within the sunstone, feeding it like a flame before touching another torch to double the available light. Sandra’s vitality helped me feed the symbolic aspect of Life, the fact that this was a crystal with the potential to grow on its own. As my power swirled within the circle, more memories unlocked within me.

  “There is more to life than simply breathing. Sometimes, life is the act of growing, the essence of building. Is light not life? Is essence not the fundamentals of existence?”

  Images flooded me as those thoughts that were not my own resonated through me. I saw images, snapshots of crystalline golems caring for their young and fighting against monsters made out of pure lava. Visions of strange alien creatures carefully planting slivers of sunstones on mountain ridges to catch the early morning sun, gently tending them and harvesting them as they grew into small golden flowers that sang with the wind.

  “Look! That’s awesome!”

  I came back to myself realizing that barely any time had passed at all. In the center of the ritual circle sat a pile of seed pods the size of softballs shining with a gentle golden light.

  “Well damn.”

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