Quoteit — q/StarSixteen

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  hey, it's lucy lovelette from star16. Ask me anything!

  Posted by u/luxciouslovelette · 3 months ago

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  hi stellars! lucy here. they said i could do one of these (aaaaa) and honestly i've been wanting to for a while. i'll be on for the next two hours. mindy and suzie are also in the room so say hi! be nice to each other in the comments. okay? go. xoxo

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  u/stargirlforever_16 · 4.2k upvotes · 3 months ago

  lucy are you dating anyone?? be honest!!!

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  u/luxciouslovelette · 12.8k upvotes · 3 months ago

  honest answer: no. i'm not dating anyone right now. and before anyone says it's because of dad. it's not, not really. dad is just... well, dad. he will absolutely open the door and stare at whoever is on the other side of it for an uncomfortable amount of time and ask them questions that have nothing to do with anything. he once asked my classmate who came to study what his five year plan was. we were twelve. (skullo)

  but genuinely if i meet someone and i think they're good, and they think i'm good, and the timing is right... i think i'll know. and i hope when that happens you guys will be kind about it. you've always been kind to me about the things that matter. i trust that.

  so. no boyfriend. just me and all you. i'm all yours xo

  — lucy

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  ? 986 Replies · Collapse · Last reply 2 weeks ago

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  u/domeordie2006 · 3.1k upvotes · 3 months ago

  How are you with the Star16 girls? Any drama???

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  u/luxciouslovelette · 9.4k upvotes · 3 months ago

  resounding, emphatic, zero-hesitation no to drama. i genuinely love every single one of them and i will fight you about this. mindy is literally right next to me and she's cheek kissing me as i type this.

  also. okay i have to say this here because i've been wanting to say it everywhere, the november dome show. this is our biggest stage yet. i don't think people fully understand the scale of what we're putting together. we've been in rehearsals for weeks and every single day i walk into that building and i think. people are going to be so happy here. that's genuinely what i think about. not the choreo, not the staging, just everyone in that dome together. that feeling. i want everyone there. i want it to be something you carry with you for a long time. the kind of night you tell people about for years.

  please come. we're going to make everyone so happy. ??

  (please please please come)

  — lucy

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  ? 145 Replies · Collapse · Last reply 4 days ago

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  u/someonesbiscuit89 · 2.7k upvotes · 3 months ago

  Buzz'n Chick'n or Captain Jane?

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  u/luxciouslovelette · 6.1k upvotes · 3 months ago

  buzz'n. next question. i don't make the rules i just live by them.\

  — lucy

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  ? 1.2k Replies · Collapse · Last reply 6 hours ago

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  u/xX_notabot_Xx · 891 upvotes · 3 months ago

  If you were a cloud what kind of weather would you make and why is it because of your mother's sister's dog?

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  u/luxciouslovelette · 5.5k upvotes · 3 months ago

  huh?

  — lucy

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  ? 68 Replies · Collapse · Last reply 3 months ago

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  u/carlosespionage_0417 · 8.9k upvotes · 3 months ago

  lucy i have to ask. there's been a rumor going around for weeks now about a health diagnosis. i don't want to spread anything false so i'm asking you directly. is it true?

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  u/luxciouslovelette · 31.2k upvotes · 3 months ago

  yeah. it's true.

  i've been sitting with how to say this for a while and i keep writing and deleting and i think the kindest thing i can do is just say it plainly because you deserve that. i've always tried to be plain with you guys even when it's hard.

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  i have cancer. i'm not going to say which kind yet, partly because i'm still processing some of the information myself and partly because i don't want the conversation to become about the specifics before it becomes about the thing i actually want to say, which is: i'm okay. right now, today, i am okay. it is not happening soon. i want to be very clear about that because i know what happens when news like this spreads without context and i don't want anyone spiraling. i'm still here. i'm still going to be here for a while. the november show is still happening and i will absolutely be on that stage.

  i thought about not saying anything. i thought about waiting until i had more answers, or better answers. but i think the reason i'm saying it now is that i'd rather you be prepared than blindsided. i've been blindsided by it and i would not wish that on any of you. so. now you know. and now we can just be with it together for a while before anything else happens.

  i'm going to keep doing what i do. i'm going to keep showing up.

  also about the boyfriend thing, i've been thinking about it since i answered it. i do hope i get to have that before i go. i think about it sometimes. just someone good. someone who makes me laugh and who i can be boring with on a tuesday. i think about the boring tuesdays a lot actually.

  but i also think, and this is a strange thing to say, i'm not sure i'd want him to be there at the end. i don't want to hand someone that. the weight of it, the aftermath. i know what it does to people and i love everyone around me too much to give them that on purpose. so maybe it's better the way it is. dad and the girls and all of you.

  maybe that's okay.

  okay. there's something else i've been wanting to say and i don't totally know how to say it so bear with me.

  there's a book i read. i think i read it. i can't fully remember if it was a book or an essay or maybe something eutopia studios put out, i thought it was by k. brennan (does that exist?) but it might have been someone dela cruz, i genuinely cannot place it and that bothers me more than it probably should. i read it maybe like a year or two ago and i remember it being vivid and a little scary and i put it down and didn't think about it again until the diagnosis and then it just... resurfaced.

  there was a story in it about a retired teacher. she had alzheimer's and in her last years she started seeing something wrong in the photographs on her hallway wall. the people in the pictures, people she loved, their faces were... wrong, somehow. there was something about their eyes. i think their skin was missing. and every time it happened, a grandfather clock rang.

  the book said something about a monster called november. that it ate memories. but only the happy ones. the warm things, the light things, those were what it wanted.

  i thought about that a lot after the diagnosis. i thought about it after my first round of treatment when i noticed, and i know how this sounds, i know, mindy is already giving me a look, i noticed that certain things were harder to reach. not gone. just further away. i'd try to feel something i knew had happened and it would be like pressing on a bruise that wasn't there anymore. not painful. just absent.

  i told myself it was the treatment. the doctors said memory and mood could be affected and i believed them and i still believe them. i'm not saying it isn't the treatment.

  it's just that the things i can't reach anymore are not the hard ones. the hard ones are all still there, very present, not going anywhere. what i can't feel anymore is the night we won our first award. the first time i heard the crowd sing our song back to us. my grandmother's kitchen on a sunday morning. things that were light. the kind of thing you'd want to keep.

  i look at videos from that award show and i can see that i was happy. i can tell, from the outside, that the girl in that video is having the best night of her life. i just can't get back inside it anymore. i can see the shape of it.

  the warmth is somewhere i can't reach.

  i don't know what to do with that. i've been carrying it for months and i don't have anywhere to put it so i'm putting it here with you, which is apparently what i do.

  here is what i've decided though.

  the november show. all of us on that stage, everyone in that dome, i want to make it so good and so full and so loud that whatever is taking the warm things cannot possibly finish all of it. i want to make enough of it that some has to survive. i want to overflow. i want all of you to remember. remember it even after i'm gone.

  i know that's a strange thing to say about a concert.

  but it's november. and if there's ever a time to make something so full of light that nothing can carry it all away, it's now. it's this. it's all of you in that dome.

  i'll see you there. ??

  — lucy

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  ? 1.6k Replies · Most Relevant · Last reply 2 days ago

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  u/wispywills · 6.7k upvotes · 3 months ago

  we're gonna be there. every single one of us. we love you lucy ??

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  u/stargirlforever_16 · 4.1k upvotes · 3 months ago

  holy sh**, it's fr. crying in the club actually. crying in the club.

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  u/levyleftness · 3.8k upvotes · 3 months ago

  november show just became the most important night of my life and i bought my ticket for forty dollars three months ago

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  u/quintissentiallyinsomniac · 214 upvotes · 3 weeks ago

  The book she's talking about is R. Berlin. The Dark I Grew Up In. Chapter Four. I've read it.

  She doesn't know about the boy.

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  ? 3 Replies · Collapse · Last reply 2 days ago

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