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CH 2: Bullying an Angel isnt a Crime

  That day was just like any other day. Wake up, workout, take a bath, read a book, have breakfast and go to college. After that is what I consider the beginning of a day, because that's when I get to do the things I want.

  I go to Muay Thai classes right after college, then hit home. My parents and siblings were out of town that day so I decided to cook a poison to kill my neighbor's dog. That dog loves taking a dump in my garden, it's owner is just as dull witted as the dog itself. He refuses to clean his dog's shit.

  (Author note: Muay Thai is a martial art similar to kickboxing)

  That justifies why the dog should be past-tensed. I never liked dogs anyway.

  I ran home from the Muay Thai class as the idea of cooking a poison got me feeling like the dude from breaking bad. "Jesse, it's time to cook!" I told myself as I flung my house door open. I was so excited that I forgot to close the door, I even hated the idea of stopping to remove my shoes, I wanted to get to 'poisoning the dog' part already.

  Keeeng

  -shuk

  Did I just hear the door close and lock itself?. Funny. I don't remember closing it, no one's back home either. Could it be a burglar?

  Who ever it was, I wanted it to be a burglar. It would be more convenient to think that way, because this scenario is something that all martial artists dream of-- fighting a criminal like a badass.

  I don't care who it is anymore, the person behind me could even be a delivery guy, but there's no more going back!

  I whipped out a back kick with full force. The person behind me caught it with ease.

  Impossible! I thought. I shook my leg to release it from the intruder's grip and put some distance between us. The 'burglar' leg go of my leg like he could care less.

  This is bad. If my eyes aren't deceiving me, I'm stuck in one hell of a bad situation. I thought after getting to see the person who just invaded my house.

  The thought of fighting someone always sounded entertaining to me because I'm good at fighting. But no matter how you look at it, fighting a tall, grown man cosplaying an angel with long blonde hair sounds scary as hell. Shit- how is that halo above his head even floating!

  I had no choice but to fight him. He caught a back kick with little to no effort and considering his size, I'm at a disadvantage.

  The strange man in front of me was at least 6 foot 5. What's more scary is that he's dressed like a frikin' angel and he's been staring into my soul like a predator.

  He took a long step forward. I whipped a spinning hook kick in an attempt to stop him. The kick didn't reach his face, because it wasn't to reach him at all, my untied shoe came off the leg which I used to kick and hit the intruder in his face as I intended. He stepped back in disgust, no one would want to get slapped in the face with a shoe.

  I grabbed the fire extinguisher above the shoe rack beside and swung it at his head with force.

  Tung!

  Weird. For some reason, it sounded like a clash between two metallic surfaces. Anyway, the intruder was down unconscious. My heart was about to climb up my throat and jump out of my mouth- it was beating at a dangerous rate.

  I need to call the police!

  Just as I was about to take a step, he was getting back up.

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  "Grh... you little...!" he groaned.

  I couldn't process what's going on, my mind fell into panic, but my body was fast to react. I instinctively swung the fire extinguisher straight down on his head.

  He effortlessly caught it. His grip was firm, I couldn't pull the extinguisher back for another swing, so I opened the fire extinguisher lock and sprayed it all over him, hoping to slow him down.

  Then I let go of the fire extinguisher, turned in the opposite direction and ran down the narrow space that would lead to the living room as if my life depended on it-- maybe it did. When I turned back, I saw death. The angel looked like the angel of death, he was flying towards me vulture with an expression that read "come here you little shit!".

  I took a sharp left turn into the kitchen just as he caught me. The momentum of the turn violently flung him onto the other end of the kitchen wall and he fell right on a wide gas stove. He was positioned on the gas stove like a sacrifice in a ritual.

  No matter how much damage he took, he still got up. I wasn't going to let him recover. I leapt across the kitchen and landed a knee kick on his face, droving my knee into his face with the intention of shattering his skull. The impact of the knee kick cause his head to against the tile padded wall behind him and break some of the tiles.

  I wasn't gonna stop there, while he was still dizzy, I grabbed his face and pushed it against the stove's burner.

  Click Click

  I turned on the stove with his face pressed against the burner, I could hear his flesh sizzling. Wait- that's not the smell of burning flesh!

  He started showing resistance against my grip, he managed to get both his feet on the ground while I was still pushing his face on the burner. My grip was weakening, so I jumped on his back and pressed his face against the stove with all my might.

  "...aaaaaAAAAA!"

  He started shouting, but weirdly, he wasn't physically resisting much. Suddenly, I felt something move on his back, I was practically hugging him from behind while sitting on his back so I couldn't see what he was trying.

  I felt it again, something on his back started moving fast and he started physically resisting more.

  He slowly started to rise and I rose along with him as I was on his back.

  I wasn't strong enough to push his head against the stove so I switched to choking him instead.

  What the heck is this weird feeling? Something is wrong, well everything today has been wrong but I have a feeling that I'm going to be done for?.

  Before I realized, I was flying. Actually, I was sitting on someone who was flying.

  The angel flew straight up and dashed the concrete ceiling. I obviously took all the impact. The angel constantly increased the force against the ceiling, whereas my choke didn't seem like it was having any effect on him.

  "Gah!" I gasped, as I felt like my bones were about to crush.

  I was starting to lose consciousness. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I took a big bite out of his wings, a big chunky bite.

  "Aaah! You stupid brat!" the angel yelled.

  He loosened up against the ceiling. I took advantage of that freedom of movement to pull his long hair with all the strength I've got. In a panic, he flew into a wall.

  We both fell, I gouged one his eye out before darting back to put some distance between us.

  I noticed another fire extinguisher next to me. I don't know what kind of expression I had on my face until now, but after finding an extinguisher, my expression curled into a nasty grin.

  I jumped towards the barely conscious angel and just as I was about deliver a devastating blow to the head with a fire extinguisher.

  "Wait! We need to talk!" he said.

  "I'm starting to hear things?" I thought, stopping my attack out of confusion.

  "No shit we need to talk and you aren't hearing things!" the angel replied.

  "We're beyond the point of talking." I said. "You shouldn't have attacked me. I bet you're a devil desuised as an angel sent by the 'Lalilulelo'!"

  "Listen, I'm an angel called Zefith, and I'm in charge of sending your soul to another world because your birth was an accident. you're not supposed to exist in this world! And what the hell is a 'Lalilulelo'? stop spouting nonsense!"

  "No! You're lying. Plus stop using it as an excuse to insult me"

  The angel who was on his knee got back on his foot, looking fully physically recovered.

  "I should have just sent Truck-kun after you..." he said to himself quietly.

  "What are you mumbling about?!" I asked.

  The angel Zefith took advantage of my confusion and threw an upper cut towards my jaw. I foresaw the punch and leaned back. Zefith's punch missed my jaw and hit the fire extinguisher instead, sending it upwards before exploding and covering the entire kitchen with white smoke.

  Without a second to waste, I grabbed the big halo floating above his head and pushed it down till his neck, it was slightly elastic for some reason. I kicked his leg to get him down on his knees before getting behind him. with one hand still holding onto the halo, I pushed the back of his neck with my leg while pulling the halo in an attempt to choke him again. The heat of the moment caused me to forget that choking won't work on him.

  He grabbled my arm and pulled me forward, before hitting my head with a reverse headbutt, that was all he needed to knock me out.

  Thwak!

  I slumped to the ground, my consciousness slowly faded to black from the impact of the headbutt.

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