Chapter 67

  [The entity Miekdiezrath-Jegronnod, also known as Mickey, has consented to the process to establish a familiar’s bond with you, the ruling demon lord of the Fourth Ring.]

  [In order to proceed with the bonding process, your permission and consent is required.]

  [The process is to be facilitated by a fire-demon of the Fourth Ring known as Fragnok, and his skills Hellbound Souls and Underworld Link.]

  [Warning: the entity known as Mickey, as well as you, are only partially demonic in nature and are in possession of full souls. The skills Hellbound Souls and Underworld Link have been developed to facilitate bonds between fully demonic entities and inanimate objects in possession of proto-souls.]

  [Warning: while it is possible to establish a viable bond between you and Mickey using the above-mentioned skills, the result may not be on par with a bond established by an Upstairs bonding specialist with skills appropriate for your respective souls and natures.]

  [Do you wish to give consent and proceed?]

  As I read the messages, I wasn’t sure what worried me more: the fact that I was sitting — or lying — on a dentist’s chair, or that Fragnok’s hell-famous bonding skills might not be up to the task after all. Luckily the notifications and warnings didn’t say anything about possible risks this kind of soul-surgery might carry, so I wasn’t overly worried about dying on the operating table or other debilitating side-effects. And I was still curious what kind of skills I would have access to through Mickey, who seemed to be willing and eager to go through this, staring and glaring at me from the cloth-covered chair next to me. Was it just me or was that cat grinning?

  ‘Meow!’ he said, quite aggressively this time, as if to rush me to consent to the procedure.

  I supposed there was no point thinking about it anymore, and the sooner this got done the sooner I could get back to Riaret, and start discussing plans with my generals. So, I focused my mind to cough up a mental agreement, and my effort was rewarded with another message.

  [You have consented to forming a familiar’s bond with Mickey. Good luck!]

  Good luck? Oh damn. The cat and the bonder must have got the memo, too; Mickey meowed loudly with absolute satisfaction, while Fragnok grinned like an idiot and started rubbing his hands together as he sat down on a stool between us.

  ‘Now, Lord, we are ready to begin!’ he announced happily, and I wondered what kind of Frankenstein’s bond the result was going to be. Well, no turning back now; a demon lord simply did not have the luxury of second guessing himself and backing out of things last second.

  ‘Ah, let’s get this over with,’ I said, hoping for the best.

  ***

  I had been wrong: bonding didn’t seem to require any tools, only the skills of the bonder. In fact, it didn’t even require a room with white walls and polished tiles, let alone a chair from a man’s worst nightmare. As Fragnok began to work his magic, I realised this could have been done anywhere; sitting or lying on the floor somewhere, it wouldn’t have mattered. This discovery had made the whole thing worse, because it meant that this creepy, clean and sterile treatment room design was Fragnok’s personal preference. How could someone be this twisted? Oh yeah, I had almost forgot: Hell and demons.

  Mickey was purring quietly on his chair, curled into a large ball of black fluff, and unlike me, he wasn’t showing any signs of discomfort. A sensation of my mind — or perhaps my soul — being pulled in three or four different directions all at once, making my vision blurry and distorted, was weird. And if that hadn’t been enough, my ears were ringing. It wasn’t painful, it was just … disorienting. And while that was happening, Fragnok was sitting with his eyes closed between me and the cat, concentrating so hard on whatever he was doing that his blood-red complexion began to turn purple.

  [Bonders’s skill: Hellbound Souls has established a connection between the souls and the skills involved in the bonding process.]

  Huh! Was he connecting our souls together with that skill? Was that why Button could tell me what skill Fragnok was using? I guessed that was about right, and Button kept up the commentary.

  [Creation of preliminary bond between your soul and Mickey’s soul: in progress.]

  [Creation of preliminary bond between your soul and Mickey’s soul: complete.]

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  [Bonder’s skill: Underworld Link is holding preliminary bond in place.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls is determining soul-compatibility. Complete.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls is determining soul-bond characteristics. In progress.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls has determined bonding your soul to Mickey’s soul with a 53% efficiency is possible.]

  [Warning: a 53% efficiency bond does not reach the threshold for a full familiar’s bond as defined by Upstairs standards.]

  [Warning: a partial familiar’s bond will result in limited skill sharing, Hell Mana sharing and Ring Energy sharing.]

  I did my best to focus on Button’s messages about the ongoings; his text updates weren’t only informative, but they were also the only things in my field of vision not shaky and distorted, keeping my nausea down to a minimum. And skill sharing? Was this what Fragnok had been talking about? Setting aside the fact that in Hell even cats had skills somehow — another case of “it’s magic, so why not” — was this supposed to be the way for me to get a whole new set of skills? Mickey sharing them with me? I wondered what the limitations would be; if someone told me that Army bureaucracy was running at 53% efficiency, I would have said it was a miracle; they usually started to overheat at 10%.”. What the number meant in terms of a familiar’s bond, I had no idea. I hoped I’d still get at least one new and useful skill.

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls is strengthening bond. In progress.]

  Another message announced, and even through the ringing in my ears I could hear the old demon hissing and grunting — he was probably guiding his skill to do its job the same way I could guide Hell Mana through Hades Heal to do what I wanted it to do.

  [Warning: Hell Mana is insufficient to maintain bond. Bonder’s Skill: Hellbound Souls unable to gather raw Ring Energy to reinforce the bond.]

  [Warning: bond unstable.]

  Mickey lifted his head and stared at the crafter, his disapproval glinting in his one eye. Fragnok was sweating now, his eyes closed and brows furrowed, breathing loudly and heavily. I was about to say something, but a new message stopped me.

  [Bonder has acquired a new skill: Soul Bridge Reinforcement.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Soul Bridge Reinforcement gathering ambient Ring Energy. In progress.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Soul Bridge Reinforcement strengthening bond with Ring Energy. In progress.]

  This was interesting. My understanding had been that individuals couldn’t use Ring Energy directly. It was a raw resource, which the soul could convert into Hell Mana, which then could be used through skills to achieve a variety of magical effects from fires to healing. As a demon lord I could use RE to reinforce city walls, defensive structures and set up large scale aura effects, but that whole thing was running on a different system, the RMS, and had nothing to do with my individual skills or my soul. A familiar’s bond must have been a uniquely strong and strange bond if it needed raw RE as opposed to just Hell Mana to exist and function. And on that note, Fragnok’s new skill might just have been the first of its kind to pop into existence in the Fourth Ring.

  My best guess was that everything in the Fourth Ring — including skills and energies — were under the Genius’ supervision. From what I had gathered, he was probably the same guy demons referred to as “The Hellguide”, and since he hadn’t stopped any of this from happening, my bonding with the cat must have been acceptable to him. Then again, he had turned me into what I was now without batting an eye, so I imagined the Genius knew how to make wiggle-room for himself when it came to rules and regulations. What was he anyway? He had called himself a “spirit of the place”, so … a deity of some kind? Or a glorified systems administrator sustaining himself on coffee and sugar-cubes while making sure the realm functioned as intended? A combination of the two? Ah, I could ponder this later. Ah, I also missed coffee.

  [Bonder’s skill: Soul Bridge Reinforcement strengthening bond with Ring Energy. Complete.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls establishing Hell Mana routes. Complete.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls establishing Ring Energy routes. Complete.]

  [Bonder’s skill: Hellbound Souls establishing skill share routes. Complete.]

  [Congratulations! You are now bonded with the entity known as Mickey. Bond type: Demonic Familiar’s Bond (unique bond). Bond stability: 100%/. Bond efficiency: 53%.]

  Then the messages stopped coming. Was it … done?

  ‘Ah, it’s done! It’s done! I’ve done it!’ Fragnok slumped back on his chair, panting and groaning as if he had just run a mile on an overdose of stimulants.

  Mickey looked satisfied; he sat up on his chair and started licking his paw as any cat would do. Well, that was good enough, so I turned to the crafter.

  ‘So? Are you happy?’ I asked.

  ‘Oh, I am. Two of my skills levelled. Twice. And I got a new skill!’ he beamed at me, still panting.

  ‘No, I meant with the bond.’

  ‘The bond? Oh yes. It’s good and it’s working. Might be the first of its kind ever done in the Ring.’

  ‘Okay, I’m glad you’re happy,’ I said, clambering to my feet from the dentist chair and looking at my squad standing in silence around us. ‘But what about my new skills?’ I asked.

  Because no matter how I looked at my stat sheet, I saw no new skills whatsoever.

  ‘I don’t know, Lord, you’ll have to figure out that part yourself,’ the crafter mumbled.

  Right. Figure it out myself. Of course. While I saw no evidence that any of Mickey’s mysterious skills had become available to me, I did feel that something was different, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

  ‘Then, when you’re ready, take a look at the weapons my escorts are carrying and improve any bonds that can be improved.’ I said to the exhausted crafter.

  ‘Yes, Lord, just a little time to catch my breath,’ he said, then he closed his eyes and promptly dozed off with a smile on his face.

  I turned to my squad.

  ‘Grash, stay here with the others and if the old guy can re-do the bonds on all your weapons to make them more deadly, have him do it!’ I instructed them. ‘Lanny, you’re with me. We’re heading back to meet Riaret.’

  Grashon just nodded, grinning as he placed his new, two-handed axe on the metal gurney the young apprentice bonder was pushing back into the room, and Lanny and I left them behind to enjoy the creepy ambiance of the damned demon-dentist’s office.