My imaginary friend is awfully bossy.

  “Mai, bark!”

  I’ve been feeling a little guilty so I was going along with her, but she is starting to take it a little too far.

  “Woo… W-why?”

  “For some reason you’ve been doing whatever I asked today, so I wanted to see how far you would go.”

  I’ve always been a bit of a doormat when it comes to our relationship, so I thought this much would go unnoticed.

  This girl is too perceptive for my own good, but luckily, it doesn’t seem like she figured out the reason behind it.

  “I-i a-always do.”

  “You talked to your mom first thing in the morning and agreed to go to the store right now without complaining. You are even letting me pick what you wear. It hasn’t even been two hours since you woke up.”

  Ok, I see how she noticed something was going on now, I’m really bad at this.

  “I-i just don’t want another bath.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second. I was an absolute delight during that whole time, I know you had fun.”

  Too much fun apparently, because the whole thing slipped into my dreams last night and took a very weird turn. I can’t ever let her find out I had a dirty dream about her. Nothing good can come of anyone ever knowing about this.

  Nothing good can come from me knowing about it either. Why can’t it be one of those dreams I can’t quite recall once I wake up?

  The implications of having this kind of dream about an imaginary person make this whole thing a philosophical nightmare. Even though the dream was pretty good.

  “Woof.”

  “Why?”

  My own thoughts made me feel guilty again and I don’t deserve to be a human anymore anyway. It seems I like to bite too much.

  “Fine, I’ll let you keep your secret as long as you keep it up.”

  Should I bark again? It seemed to be the right answer last time.

  “Ok, we are going to buy you clothes today too Mai.”

  She is getting way too into it. I don’t know how much pet clothes and collars cost, but we won’t have much money left after buying groceries.

  I’m not quite sure how I can convey that through barking though.

  “We can go to the store we passed by a few days ago.”

  She meant normal clothes, I’m glad. Wait, am I the one getting too into all of this?

  “We d-don’t have much money.”

  “You can still try things on.”

  That makes me extra happy we aren’t going to the pet store now, but it is overshadowed by the sadness of going out anywhere. It’s the first day off since I started going back to school and I’m stuck going outside anyway, life is truly horrible.

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  Still, if my secret stays safe I should be able to endure it for today.

  “F-fine.”

  “Really?!”

  A good dog follows their owner.

  “W-woof.”

  “Fine, I give up. I can’t believe you are willing to go so far just to avoid telling me you dreamt about me last night.”

  WHAT? WHY ? HOW?

  “H-h-h-ho-ow?”

  “You talk in your sleep Mai. And, well, last night you made other noises too.”

  Kill me now. Do we have enough money for the vet to put me down?

  Oh forget it, I’ll save her the visit and just jump out the window.

  “What are you doing?”

  “J-jumping.”

  “Stop being so dramatic, it’s not that bad.”

  Not that bad? I don’t know how much she actually knows from whatever sleep talking I’ve been doing, but I should be walking around with a muzzle after what I did in that dream And I made other noises too???

  “Mai, deep breaths.”

  No, that’s the opposite of my goal. I want to stop breathing at all right now.

  What exactly did I say in my sleep last night? Right now only the three worst possible words come to mind. Did she hear them?

  “Mai, you are really sweating. Just sit down for now.”

  I can’t breathe.

  “Mai, just close your eyes and relax. Everything is fine. Do you want me to block your eyes again?”

  No. That was the start of this whole horror story so I definitely want to avoid doing that again.

  She is doing it anyway.

  “It’s fine Mai, everything is fine. There is nothing to be embarrassed about and you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not mad, you don’t have to feel guilty, so just breathe and everything will be ok.”

  I can’t see anything, and I certainly can’t feel her touch, but I think she is hugging my head.

  Why is that thought so comforting? I’m so pathetic.

  “I-i-i’m sorry.”

  “Why? It’s just a dream. Though It kind of pissed me off when you started acting all guilty this morning. How is this the first time you had that kind of dream about me, I’ve been here for months. You might need to get your eyes checked.”

  That's what she's mad about ?

  I’m not sure how sexual harassment works with imaginary people, but it definitely feels like I did something bad. And I’m still slightly worried she might have bite marks under her clothes. What exactly is the difference between dream her and imaginary her?

  I feel like I can breathe again. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not since there is still something I need to ask.

  “W-w-what…”

  The words won’t come out. Stupid body, I ask to stop breathing and it listens, but any other time it won’t. Does it just want me to suffer?

  I still can’t see anything, but Ami has been quiet for a while now.

  “W-w-what d-did I s-say?”

  “Ami, more. mmnnh.”

  “S-S-STOP.”

  Don’t make those sounds in my ear.

  She takes her hand off my eyes and giggles after seeing my reaction.

  Seeing her like that, it's incredibly… I don’t even know what words to use to describe her anymore. Maybe enchanting? Somehow it still feels lacking.

  I still hope she didn’t hear those three words I said over and over in that dream, but I think maybe I actually meant them. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to say them when I’m awake, to her or to anyone in my life, so maybe it won’t be so bad if she heard it.

  “I-is that all?”

  “You mostly just repeated those, but if you want I can keep going with all the variations.”

  “I-i’ll b-b-bite you.”

  The answer that should have made me feel relieved is giving me mixed feelings instead.

  “Drop the dog act already and get dressed.”

  Dog act, yeah sure that's what I meant… Woof.

  “Will you still wear the clothes I picked out for you? You will be super cute in those.”

  I don’t think I look cute in anything, but I guess I will wear them anyway if it will make her happy. I already agreed to go out after all, as much as I regret it. I definitely can't risk another motivational bathing experience.

  I can’t believe I fell in love with my imaginary friend… I feel so pathetic yet somehow happy at the same time. It’s so confusing.