The next morning, Lester woke up and stretched, thinking, “where should I go for breakfast? Maybe the neighbor’s garden or that delicious field of clover? What was that yummy food I had yesterday? Oh yeah, the dog chased me to a delicious new lettuce…Oh no!” he said as he looked at the clock and realized he was the Herbal Wizard and he was late for his meeting with Nogdorf, the Great Wizard. He quickly donned the rainbow outfit, kissed his wife and ran out the door, with her yelling after him, “Lester, you forgot your honey-do list. You promised to help me today.”
He could still hear her nagging him as he hopped like mad, hoping he wasn’t in trouble with Nogdorf. Lester snatched a bite of greenery as he sped along. Rabbits can be quite fast when they want to, you know. As he got to the magical garden, he could see Nogdorf standing there tapping his Wizard’s staff on the ground. “Oh no, what a way to start a new venture, being late on the first day,” Lester thought.
When Lester hopped up to Nogdorf, he expected to get a good lecture and knew he deserved it but Nogdorf just stood there. Neither spoke a word. Nogdorf reached into his pocket and sprinkled a powder over Lester. Lester saw sparkles of yellow, pink and red fall all over him. He didn’t know whether to be happy or apprehensive.
Nogdorf was the first to speak. “This is a concentration spell which will help you to take your job seriously. Lester, have you ever heard it said that you must be five minutes early or else you are late? And since you are not five minutes early and you are not on time, you are very late.”
Lester said, “It won’t happen again, sir.”
“I should say not,” Nogdorf said emphatically. “Now suppose you enlighten me as to why you couldn’t be on time your first morning of herbal wizard training.”
Lester looked at the Great Wizard with his head tilted to the left. “You are probably not going to believe this, but my wife didn’t get home until three in the morning today.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Nogdorf said, “Go on; I’m listening.”
“And Sniffy and Wiggles both woke up with an earache and as soon as I got them back to sleep, Dolly was hopping in her sleep and hopped right out of the burrow and was wailing outside until I brought her back in and tucked her back in her bed,” Lester started.
Nogdorf was tapping his wizard’s staff again, feeling his patience evaporating. “Lester, this is why I asked you to explain your new calling to your wife. She needs to stand by your side and do the household duties and take care of the bunnies. You have a very important job.”
I realize that sir, but you don’t have the whole picture and you don’t understand.” Lester started.
“I think I have the picture. Your wife is a carouser, out drinking elderberry wine and fooling around with other rabbits. You need to get her under control,” Nogdorf said reprovingly.
“That isn’t the case, sir. Have you ever heard of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?” Lester asked timidly.
“Of course. I think everybody has heard of them. What in the world does that have to do with this situation?” asked a frustrated Nogdorf.
“Well, sir, it's like this. My wife is a wonderful woman but she has a slight problem. At night she goes out and becomes a different rabbit. I don’t know if it is caused by having so many babies that she has gotten a split personality, or what. She is the original rabbit fru fru. She goes around and bops off the heads of field mice. If you live in our neighborhood, it is like a war zone of headless field mice in the morning, EVERY DAY. Then she comes home in the morning and after a couple of hours of sleep, she is back to being a good mother and wife. I am getting really tired of it, sir,” Lester explained.
“Hmm, I see what you mean. Now, assuming this is not just a made up excuse to cover for your being late, we need to do something about it. Give me the address of your burrow so that I can observe tonight. I would like to get a feel for what we are dealing with here. I would rather not discuss this any further until I have observed for myself. Now, back to today’s lesson,” Nogdorf said.
