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Chapter 106: Tiger Accountant II: Income Statement!

  21 DAYS BEFORE THE REMATCH IN HALLOWSVILLE

  I jumped forward and held the blade up high, right arm flexed, energy humming in my ears. Although, something felt off. The explosiveness in my legs didn't have the same power as before. My arms were trembling, and it felt like gravity wanted me to fall. Even so, I brought the sword down, but my worries were proven right when Vlad grabbed my wrist and slammed me down in front of Sunshine.

  The sword didn’t leave my hand.

  The tiger laughed at me, resting his fists on his hips like a triumphant superhero. “Good idea, Zombieman! But while holding your energy like that certainly makes it an appreciating asset, you’ve just revealed one of the biggest weaknesses of a Nuclear Energy user.”

  “The heaviness of energy?” I answered, getting back up.

  “No,” my daughter cut in. “Since Nukes utilize pure energy in their abilities, then their attacks are more susceptible to being dodged.”

  “Both of you are correct, but the little girl is more correct,” Vlad said. “Pure energy is heavy, yes, but just like with real weights, the muscles can be trained to get used to it.” He flexed his arms to get the point across further, though I was pretty sure tigers were naturally jacked without training. “The real problem you’ll face, Jerome, is the speed of others. You noticed it before, right? Holding that sword made you slower. Not just because of the weight; the energy you use hasn’t been trained to match your own speed.”

  “A normal man can’t train so much that carrying around a dumbbell like a sword becomes a casual task,” I argued.

  Vlad smiled. “Since when were you ever a normal man?”

  “Well, I guess I'm still holding this sword.” I pointed the sword at him. “And you’re still standing.”

  The tiger bumped his fists together, and then flashed his claws at me. “Yes, that is the spirit! Little girl, stay out of this. Before your father’s ego extinguishes.”

  Sunshine pouted. “Huh? But I wanna fight t-”

  Aura raged through the air, causing pain to pierce through my defenses like I’d just swallowed nails. Gritting my teeth, I pushed through the torture and swung my sword in an arc.

  Vlad had the same idea. His claws and my blade clashed. The shockwave sent us both backwards in separate directions, but that didn’t stop the tiger. Once his feet hit the ground, he exploded into the air.

  My situation was a bit different. It took me a couple seconds to scramble back to my feet. That was the all the time Vlad needed to slam his elbow down on my chest. Agony erupted within me as my body launched upward. A head butt to the skull made sure that didn’t last long.

  Everything was spinning, and to make things worse, the tiger started to speak again.

  “Look at your shoulder.”

  It took a while for the world to piece itself back together before I noticed two little orange hands holding onto my shoulder. No, not hands.

  Paws.

  After some effort, I sat up and realized there was a kitten wearing a suit latched onto me, its cute, beady eyes watching me as if I was its mother.

  “What is this?” I asked, gripping my chest.

  “That’s your Income Statement,” the tiger answered, readjusting his glasses. “It’ll tell you your current revenue, the expenses you’ve made, and your overall income.”

  The kitten began vibrating like a phone until it spewed out a blue, holographic sheet of information into the air.

  [REVENUE: 0, EXPENSES: Limbs = 1 Power = 20% Land Usage = 20%, NET INCOME: 40,000]

  I swiped at the kitten, but my hand phased through it.

  “Income Statement cannot be touched, and it cannot be removed unless I do it myself. And obviously, you cannot absorb it.”

  What category was he? My guess was either Radioactive or Atomic, but since I couldn’t absorb it, it had to be the latter.

  “When did you put this on me?” I questioned while the kitten snickered at me.

  Vlad lifted his fist. “That first punch I gave you did it. That’s all it takes. One punch to activate my technique.”

  So punishment for letting my guard down, huh? He wasn’t just helping me perfect my powers; he was teaching me how I should treat any real fight — like a life or death situation. I might’ve been stronger than a lot of goons I’ve encountered, but the one thing that could easily turn the tables was an overpowered ability that I couldn’t understand.

  I regained my footing. “If my net income went down by twenty percent, then that means my gross income must’ve been fifty thousand, right?”

  Vlad scratched his chin. “I have been meaning to ask, Jerome, but do you have a background in finance?”

  “Not me personally, but my little brother did. It was his college major, so my wife and I had to help him out with his studying occasionally,” I explained, noticing Sunshine was watching us from behind a tree.

  He nodded. “You were right earlier. Before the expenses you paid me, my ability calculated your power to be fifty thousand. But after you lost an arm and I made contact with you twice, I shaved off twenty percent of it.”

  I glanced at my daughter again, who was now joined by Moonlight.

  Vlad’s tail moved around in excitement. “Now, how will you move forward knowing that, Zombieman”

  While his Radius Ability was somewhat understandable, unless I could find a perfect counter for it, then I was simply a bad match for him.

  “I’ll just watch,” I said, my energy sword dispersing.

  The tiger’s mouth gaped, arms sinking. “Why!? Has your ego, your resolve already extinguished?”

  “No…” Sunshine smiled, and then ran in my direction. Our high-five echoed through the forest. “I’m just transferring it to someone else!”

  “I’m gonna beat your ass, Vlad!” my daughter said, causing me to turn back.

  “Hey!”

  She flinched, and then turned her head to me, smiling awkwardly. “Sorry, Dad!” She looked back at the tiger, who seemed to enjoy her potty mouth. “I’m gonna beat your butt, Vlad.”

  “I like you better than the zombie, child.” He flexed once more, causing a gust of wind to brush against our bodies. “Show me what you are made of!”

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  “You did a horrible job there, Mr. Hunter!” Moonlight said that in such a happy way that I didn’t think she realized how insulting that was.

  My head sank as I sat down next to her. “You really know how to let a man down, kid.”

  “What do you mean? That was a compliment. You did absolutely nothing extraordinary!”

  Has she always treated certain words like they were the opposite? Well, figuring that out would take some effort, and there was something else I wanted to talk about with her instead.

  “Moon, I’m surprised to see you and my daughter are cool again,” I said as Vlad chased Sunshine deeper into the forest. “You seemed a little angry this morning.”

  “Well, I thought about what you told me in that clothing department, and it didn’t seem right to stay mad when not even her own father was mad at her.” She paused. “You’re not mad at her, but you still don't forgive her?”

  “Moonlight, I want you to keep being Sunshine’s friend, ok? Before we met you, I made sure she was a sheltered kid ‘cause I feared what the world would do to her. But then I realized that sheltering her caused that problem anyway.” I rubbed my head. “I think becoming too attached to me was what caused her to do all those bad things. So, it'll be good for her to realize the importance of others, you know?”

  Moon scooched a little closer to me. “Is that also why you adopted that green girl? What's her name again? Sunflower?”

  “That's part of the reason, I guess,” I replied, the sound of trees collapsing filling the air.

  “Hmm. Well, now that you tell me all that, I feel a lot more compelled to stick with Sunshine.” She laughed a bit. “Besides, it's kinda hard to stay mad when she's just so positive. I really can't get enough of that smile.”

  “I intend to keep that smile on her face. That's why… I don't want you coming with us to Hallowsville.”

  The girl stared at me, as though I said something offensive.

  “I'm a hundred percent sure that the man we’re gonna be fighting will kill you. So once we find your family, you'll go back to them, alright?”

  She didn't say anything. Only nodded sadly.

  I was guessing Moon already understood what I meant by that, so I didn’t elaborate any further.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you, Mr. Hunter-” Her sad expression was replaced by an intrigued one. “Who is this cutie pie on your shoulder?”

  The kitten raised its paw, like a student itching to answer a question. “Remember to pay your taxes! The IRS is always watching you!”

  “What’s a ‘taxes’ and an ‘IRS’?”

  Before I could inform her about the terrifying concept of giving your money to people you don't know, a figure speeding toward us in the air caught my attention. I gently grabbed Moonlight’s arm and threw ourselves out the way before the tree behind us was obliterated.

  Sunshine popped out, regaining her bearings before we did. Just like me, she had a suited up kitten stuck on her, clinging onto her hair. “Dang it! I was so close.”

  “Come on, Sun, beat that tiger’s butt already!” I shouted, placing Moon on my shoulders.

  “Oh, I’m gonna do a lot more than that,” my daughter said, a stream of blood seeping from her mouth.

  “You good?” I asked, concerned.

  “Perfect,” she responded coldly, ripping out a single strand of her hair.

  Aura shrouded the strand, straightening and hardening it until the hair looked like a long needle. It launched out of her hand like a missile, heading straight for the tiger that just ripped its way out the bushes.

  The strand struck his chest, and then disappeared.

  Vlad wiped the spot where he was hit. “I understand the plan, little girl, however, a hair strand still contains your DNA if you pull it off like that. And now-”

  “Depreciate!”

  The fiery aura around Sunshine’s body was reduced into weak embers as the kitten on her head coughed out information like a hairball.

  [REVENUE: 0, EXPENSES: Limbs = 1 Hair = 0, Power = 50% Land Usage = 20%, NET INCOME: 15,000]

  “Does that say hair equals zero?” I asked.

  The second that question left my mouth, all of Sunshine’s hair vanished.

  The light shined on her bald head, and that regrettably made me laugh out loud. “I guess you got a lot more from me than just my attitude, Sun!”

  Her face turned red with embarrassment. “Quiet!”

  I ran up to my daughter and rubbed her scalp like I was polishing something. “Let’s make it nice and clean.”

  She backed away from me and wrapped her yellow, flannel shirt around her head. “If that dumb tiger had told me about the DNA, I would’ve never done that.”

  “Little bald girl!” Vlad called out, causing Sunshine’s face to blush even more.

  “Don’t call me that!” she urged, turning to him.

  “There’s one thing you still have not tried yet, which could possibly defeat me,” the tiger said. “Do you know what that is?”

  Sunshine made a finger gun, and the embers around her formed into one orb at her finger. However, the stillness and focus she usually had when activating her ability wasn’t there. She was trembling, as if she was holding a weight she had no business in trying to hold.

  “Mind Trick-”

  The aura blasted back into her face, cutting her skin up. I caught my daughter before she could collapse to the ground, blood spilling from her small wounds.

  I wanted my rage to spill out just like her blood was, but that wouldn’t help her here.

  Moonlight climbed off my shoulders and went to Sunshine’s side. “Sunny, are you ok!? What happened there?”

  My kid wiped her forehead. “I tried to do something new, and I messed up.”

  “And what was that?” I asked, gently rubbing her cheeks.

  “I need to make a finger gun with both hands to use Mind Trick. Since I only have one arm right now, I improvised.”

  “Need to? Why do you need to make a finger gun in the first place? Is that a requirement?”

  “Oh, yeah, Dad, I never told you this. Apparently, my true Radius Ability requires a whole bunch of aura to use — aura that I don’t have yet. Like, imagine my aura just washing over an entire battlefield. It’s that kind of power. So, the only way I can use it is if I weaken the power of Mind Trick by containing it within one finger, and keeping my daily usage down to three times.” She paused, and then chuckled. “You two got all that, right?”

  Moon and I awkwardly nodded.

  “I’m just beginning to notice that a lot of Radius Ability users have restrictions on what they can and can’t do,” I noted. “What’s up with that?”

  “A subconscious nerf!” Vlad answered away from us.

  “What’s a subconscious nerf!?” I shouted. “And why are you standing so far away?”

  “It is basically your brain telling you that you are not ready and too weak to use certain parts of your ability! It is like lifting a weight too heavy for your puny muscles, so you move to something lighter! Think of it as a, uh, video game! You cannot do all your special moves until you reach a certain level!”

  So I could absorb energy with more parts of my body if I level up? Nice!

  “You still didn’t tell us why you’re standing so far aw-”

  “For an absolute unit such as the great Vladimir! Crusher of mountains, eater of fire, faster than lightning!” he interrupted, doing a different pose with each title.

  I began to laugh. “Are you scared of Moon!? A little girl!?”

  The beast flinched. “No little girl can scare the great-”

  “Tigey, you don’t have to be afraid of me!” Moon exclaimed, running toward Vlad. “I just like petting you!”

  “Stay back, you foul hellspawn!” he pleaded, running away from her.

  Moonlight’s presence was like a smooth road compared to the hard, bumpy one my Sunshine and I created upon arriving at the facility.

  And that’s what scared me the most.

  *********

  Even after we finished up our training for the day, Vlad wouldn’t give us back what we lost until he decided that we deserved it. So, Sunshine and I were now sitting in her room, contemplating on what we could’ve done better. But another thought took precedence in my mind.

  I placed my hands in my pockets, and looked up at the ceiling. “Moonlight’s gonna have to train more. You know that, right? If you’re serious about wanting her to help us.”

  Sunshine sat up in her bed and rested her chin on her fist. “So does my sister.”

  “I know. Once she comes out of my body, I’ll see if I can help Sunflower regain her powers. We might have to do something similar to what happened to us.”

  “So, you're gonna fight her?”

  I sighed, sitting up on my chair and looking at my kid. “No. Daemon told me that losing your Radius Ability meant you lost a huge part of yourself that was important. With us, it was the love we had for each other, and we were able to get our abilities back after we… uh, fixed that problem.”

  Silence fell between us, and the awkward tension felt like a boulder crashing into me.

  “Um…” She paused. “Sunflower’s mom willingly left to go be with Michael Corleone. Assuming that's the ‘important part’ of herself she lost, then how do we get her back? It's not like we can just find their base and fight.”

  She was right. We couldn't add more stuff to our plate.

  “Also, I don't know if I should be telling you this, but I'm pretty sure Sunflower is skipping out on her training.”

  “Huh?”

  My daughter shrugged, folding her arms. “It's true. Remember that day you told her to train with Kofi? Well, she was in her room sleeping instead. She actually slacks off a lot. I don’t think I’ve seen her train in combat or aura our entire time here.”

  “What the hell…?” I scratched my head. “Did you tell her that this family is full of hard workers, and that slackers get punished?”

  Sunshine shook her head no.

  “Well, maybe, uh, she’s… depressed.” Saying that word felt like I was vomiting needles.

  “What’s ‘depressed’?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  It surprised me how genuine that question sounded. Wasn't she an avid book reader? “You know, like, depression. It’s when, uh, someone is sadder than usual. Sadder than sad, basically.”

  “How can you be sadder than sad? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I don’t know, kid. They didn’t teach us that stuff in school. My uncle told me it’s like a disease or something. ” If I could sweat, I’d probably be soaked right about now. “I think your grandmother had it before she passed.” I clasped my hands, preparing myself for what I was about to say. “I was thinking maybe you were, or are depressed lately. If you’re not, then forget I even sai-”

  “I’m not depressed!” she exclaimed, moving to the edge of the bed. “I’m many things, but the last thing I am is some mental loser.”

  That phrase hurt more than I thought it would. “Then… what was all that stuff this morning? And those words you said to me in Boomsbarrow? Even earlier this week, you were talking about love, and you looked off when I said you should learn how to love yourself as much as you loved me.”

  “I-I don’t know. It’s just stuff.” Sunshine’s lips quivered. “But sometimes, Dad, just the fricking… complexity of life is too hard for me. I don’t-I don’t know.”

  I knew saying whatever came to my head was a trait of mine, but at that moment, I scoured through my mind to find the perfect response to say — one that could help without any consequences. “I bet you’re always distracting yourself, right? With training or just talking with anyone here? So that you don’t gotta think about all that bad stuff?”

  She nodded, eyes softening. “I always make sure to get sore, so that I can focus on the pain in my muscles instead of, well, up there.” She pointed at her head. “You know what I think? M-Maybe it’s the Sunvirus acting up again. Before, I thought it was this alternate reality version of myself making me do bad things, but now I realize something horrible is going on inside my body, and I don’t know how to stop it. Maybe that’s really why my brains work so differently compared to other kids. I’m some kind of anomaly or something.”

  “You’re not an anomaly.” I didn’t remember what that word meant, but it sounded like an insult. “And I don’t think it’s the disease this time, Sun,” I said. “I mean, it is a disease, but it’s not the one we really need to care about.”

  My daughter looked confused. “Sooo, I shouldn’t worry about this new feeling inside of me?” I didn’t answer that, so she asked me something else. “What about you, Dad? Do you have experience with this? Like, are you-”

  “Depressed? Me?” I chuckled, wondering where she’d get that idea from. “No. If I was that sad, would I have taken care of you all these years?”

  She giggled, shaking her head no.

  Our amusement ended seconds later before I decided to question Sunshine on another thing.

  “I’m gonna ask you another question, Sun.”

  “Ok.”

  “Have you ever thought about, um… you know-” I made a finger gun and pointed it at my skull.

  Her brows furrowed. “Using Mind Trick on myself?”

  “No, no. Like… ending yourself.”

  “You mean my life?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Fuck no!”

  “Hey!”

  “S-Sorry. Frick no.”

  “Alright, alright,” I said, raising my arms in surrender. “Good.”

  Even if I said it was good, I didn’t know if it truly was. I noticed the hesitation before that first “no”, but that could’ve just been her processing the question.

  Silence filled the room again.

  Sunshine looked at the floor, and then at me. “Do you?”

  “No.”

  “Good,” she replied, nodding. “Imagine surviving the apocalypse for this long and just deciding to jump off a cliff?”

  It took her laughing for me to laugh as well, but doing so felt just like laughing with a bullet wound in your abdomen. My daughter must’ve had the same feeling as she went quiet moments later. I stopped too.

  Sunshine laid back down in her bed, and said, “Good night, Dad.”

  “Good night.”

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