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5.2 The Pixel Tyrant: Noob Brigade

  It was a bright and windy afternoon in the Emerald Plains. The synthetic Sun observed the landscape from its high perch, while digital grasses of the steppe swayed gently from the unreal wind. Two figures, an elf and a barbarian, were riding their mounts (horse for the elf and a small triceratops for the barbarian) through the grassland. Their destination, the massive, lonely tree in the distance. The elf was named Quantum_Mage, digital avatar of Li Wei; the barbarian was called Yingernaut, digital avatar of An Jing.

  "Jingjing, why am I doing this?" Li Wei asked through the voice chat.

  "Jie-fu, let me explain once again." An Jing talked slowly like she was speaking to a particularly dim child. "This mission is for the public good. We are going to destroy the tyrant who has been terrorizing the servers for three days. And more importantly, we are doing it, because I want my revenge."

  Li Wei ignored his sister-in-law's patronizing tone. "I get that," he said. "But what I am asking is, why am I a part of this? I have a department presentation tomorrow. I need to prepare. I have already wasted two days in the game.

  "Jie-fu, please, you need to focus on what's really important here and not get distracted by unimportant things. Also, as compensation, I will make you the best bouquet of tulips from the university nursery. It will be a sweet and romantic gift for my sister. You know I pick the best flowers, right?"

  "Fine, fine, I agree. But, Jingjing, why are you so intent on revenge? I mean, I get that she killed you, but all three of us have killed each other a lot in other games."

  "It's not just about killing me. It's about how she did it. We were playing together since launch. At first it was great. We were finishing quests, beating bosses, and all that. Then, at the end of a long and difficult boss fight, she literally stabbed me, my character I mean, in the back, killed the boss, and stole all my equipment earned from hours of hard work."

  "That's pretty bad, I agree."

  "That's not even the worst part, Jie-fu. The blade she stabbed me with had a level drain effect. Killing me with it reduced my levels by a lot. Hours of progress just stabbed away."

  "I definitely understand your desire for revenge, and I fully support it, Jingjing."

  "Thanks Jie-fu, I knew you would get it."

  Despite his sympathy for An Jing's quest, Li Wei was still not convinced about his role in it. "I still don't get why you need me though," he said. "I mean you have the people from your cult...guild, right?"

  "Yeah, they are still there. The guild is a big part of the plan. But we need a strike team that can directly fight the Tyrant. And for that we need the best players we have."

  "And you don't have anyone good?"

  "Of course we do. We have quite a few good players. But the problem is that the game is still new and not everyone has put in enough time. So many people's levels are quite low. And to fight Yue-jie, we need high skills and a high level."

  "I see the problem."

  "But we still managed to make a strike team. There was me, Linlin, and XiaoXiao. Then an accountant who was playing mage. You are replacing him. There was a primary school kid. And also Linlin's brother. But the team kind of fell apart at the last minute."

  "What happened?" Li Wei asked.

  "Well, me and Linlin are still in. Xiaoxiao's dog gave birth, so she had to go home."

  "And Mei Lin's brother and the others?"

  "The accountant had overtime. The primary school kid, I am not really sure. He was grounded either because he ate his sister's cake or her hair. His mother was a bit vague on the details. And Linlin's brother, you know his girlfriend, right, Jie-fu?"

  Li Wei knew Mei Lin's brother but had never met his girlfriend. "I have heard about her," he said. "Things seemed to be going well for them."

  "Apparently not so well, since they broke up."

  "Ohh!"

  "So, yeah, that's the state of our team."

  "Does that mean that there are only two people on the team now?"

  "Three, including you. Don't worry, Jie-fu, half a team that works well together is more valuable than a complete team with terrible luck."

  By then the elf and the barbarian had reached the tree, a majestic and lonely sentinel amidst the sea of green. Both players got down from their mounts and approached the tree, or rather, the large golden chest beneath the tree. Standing beside the chest was a woman wearing a long flowing, silvery, ancient style dress, the avatar of Mei Lin (Silent_SilverMoon).

  "Mei Lin," Li Wei said.

  "Professor Li," Mei Lin replied.

  "What's your race, Mei Lin? I don't remember this one. Is it just human?"

  "No, Professor Li. This is one of the half-human races in the new game. I'm part water spirit."

  "And your class? Same as before?"

  "Yeah, still Blade Master."

  When the other two were chatting, the barbarian went to the chest and interacted with it. A while later she rejoined Li Wei and Mei Lin and dropped some game items on the ground.

  "These are all high-level items, Jie-fu, all above Jade tier. Take whatever you want."

  There was no response from Li Wei.

  "Jie-fu? You there?" An Jing asked.

  "Jingjing, sorry, just a second," Li Wei replied.

  A few more seconds of silence followed before they heard Li Wei's voice again. "Sorry, just had to take care of something," he said.

  "No problem, Jie-fu. Just take the gear you want, and then we can get going."

  "About that. Jingjing, do you mind if some other people join us?"

  "Like who?"

  "Their levels are pretty high, almost the same as yours."

  "That's good. But who did you find? You don't know anyone else."

  "Umm...they should be here soon."

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  Three figures could be seen in the distance riding towards the tree. As they got closer, An Jing could make out their avatars. Riding on top of a white horse was a Neko, a catgirl (Purrfect_Tale). The stag was being ridden by a half-elf (|CalculatedShot|). And riding in between them on a nightmare horse was a succubus ({Viral_Siren}).

  When they reached the tree, they got off of their mounts and approached the others.

  "Hey..." the catgirl began. But before she could get a word in, she was cut off by An Jing.

  "NO," An Jing said, loudly and firmly. "Absolutely not. Jie-fu, this is ridiculous. Your wife, who can barely play video games, is not going to be a part of this serious mission. Jie, I love you, but I am sorry, this is not happening."

  "Jingjing, don't bully our Meimei," said the succubus in Li Jing's voice. "We just wanted to have some fun with you guys. And It's going to be better for the team anyway. After all, I am quite a proficient gamer."

  "Oh, this gets better and better," said an even more annoyed An Jing. "It's not just one noob, now we have two noobs. Jing-jie, playing mobile games doesn't make you a good gamer. In fact, it makes you worse. And how did you get this, what is it, succubus class? It's not even available in game."

  "Ohh that. I just called the game company and said I wanted to play and stream their game. They gave me this succubus thing. Apparently, it was planned for a future release. And they also gave us all very high levels and stuff. Isn't that great?"

  "No, it's not great. It's...it's cheating. It's pay-to-win."

  "Jingjing, it's just a one-time promotional thing," said the half elf, who sounded like Li Na. "And besides, we are going to try our best. Trust us."

  "Na-jie, I am sorry. Do you even have any gaming experience? I have never seen you play."

  "I used to play in college."

  "College? Jie, games have kind of evolved a lot since then. Do you think you can manage? You three are just going to get in the way. I am willing to trust you, but these other two, no way."

  "Jingjing, it's going to be fine," Li Na said calmly. "You tell us what to do, and we will follow your instructions."

  "Yeah, Jingjing, it's going to be fun playing with everyone. It will be like a family outing," said the catgirl An Mei.

  "Jie, it's not a family outing. It's a serious quest to destroy a tyrant."

  "Jingjing, please, let them join. It will be fun," Li Wei pleaded. "How about this? I will prepare practice problem sets for your next math exam."

  An Jing considered the offer for a few seconds before asking Mei Lin, "Linlin, what do you think?"

  "I think we can take them. Their levels are high, so even if they are not good, they might be useful as distractions. And it's always fun to play with a full squad."

  An Jing thought some more, and once she had made up her mind, she said, "Fine, they can join. But you three, listen up. You will obey my instructions to the letter. You will not go out on your own and ruin the plan. The chain of command is like this: Me at the top. My word is law. My second-in-command is Linlin. After that, it's Jie-fu. And you three are at the bottom. Is that clear?"

  An Mei was just happy to be part of the team and play with her family. "Yes, Jingjing, we will follow you," she said.

  "Just tell us what to do," said Li Na.

  But one person was not entirely pleased. "Well, I am not really happy about not being chosen leader," Li Jing said. "But I suppose I will agree to it this time since you are the expert."

  "All right, now I want everyone to..."

  Before An Jing could finish giving her first command, she was interrupted by her sister. "Linlin, did your mother try out that recipe I sent her?"

  "No, Jie. She is going to try it this weekend. She sounded excited," Mei Lin replied.

  "That's great. I promise you, it's wonderful."

  Li Jing joined in on the conversation. "What recipe are we talking about?"

  "It's the one you cooked for me and Weiwei, Jie."

  "Ohh yeah. That's pretty good, right?"

  "Which one was that?" Li Na asked.

  "You know, mom's duck recipe."

  "Yeah. That's very good."

  Then Li Wei jumped in, "Jie, after that day Mei made it for us again. It was absolutely delicious. I think she might be surpassing your skills now."

  "Nothing would make me happier, little brother. But that day is not yet here," Li Jing said, "I still have a thing or two to teach our Meimei."

  "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

  The voice chat immediately fell silent.

  "What are you all doing?" An Jing screamed. "We are here to fight the pixel tyrant, not exchange recipes. Jie, why are you even here? Don't you have to write? Your new novel still has a long way to go. And you, Jing-jie, Na-jie, don't you have a global conglomerate to run? Why are you playing videogames?"

  "I finished my writing quota for the day," An Mei said helpfully.

  "Getting Xiao-Yue back successfully is kind of one of the most important things right now," Li Jing said. "So, technically, Na-jie and I, we are still doing our jobs."

  "That's right," Li Na added. "But yes, Jingjing is right. We all got distracted there. Let's focus on the game, everyone. Go ahead Jingjing. What were you going to tell us before we started talking about recipes?"

  "Alright, fine. Let's start again, and no distractions this time. First things first. Mei-jie, Jing-jie, and Na-jie, I want you guys to tell me your character class. If you open your character page, it should be at the very top."

  An Mei spoke up first. "Mine says healer."

  "Mine is summoner," Li Jing said.

  "I am an archer," Li Na replied.

  By now, An Jing had calmed down a little. "Good," she said. "We have a good selection of classes here. It will make our job easier. I am a Barbarian, so I am supposed to be the main DPS (Damage Per Second), or damage dealer for the team. But since we don't have a tank, that's someone who does the defense, I'll take on that role. I have a shield that protects me from a lot of damage, a quick health regeneration, and a good amount of health points. And Mei-jie, your only role is to keep healing me. Don't worry about anything else. You keep me alive; I'll take all the damage while others hit our enemies. Did you all get that?"

  "Yes, Jingjing," An Mei said. "I just have to heal you."

  "Yes. Try a couple of healing spells right now. There should be a small healing spell, a medium one, and a large one."

  An Mei tried them out one by one.

  "Good. Just focus on these three spells, Jie. Don't worry about group heal spells. Just keep healing me."

  "Got it. I will protect you, Jingjing," An Mei said, her voice full of enthusiasm.

  An Jing moved on to the next newcomer. "Na-jie, you told me that you have played games before. So, I am not going to say much. I want you to stay in the back and pick off our enemies. Don't let them get close to you. You have some devastating attacks, but they are hard to land, and once you use them, they have a large cooldown period. So, use them wisely at the appropriate time, okay?"

  "Yes. I understand, Jingjing," Li Na said.

  "And finally, Jing-jie. Since you are a summoner, you must have some summoning spells. Try to find the strongest one."

  Li Jing took some time checking her character sheets before saying, "I think it's this one. It says 'summon 2 burly demons from the netherworld to do your bidding.'"

  "Yes, that's it. That's all I want you to do. Just summon the two demons and run away from the fight. Don't try to fight on your own. Wait until the cooldown for the spell is over, then summon them again. Got it?"

  "Loud and clear," Li Jing said. "But can I use this one? There is this 'Charm' ability. It says I can use it on enemies to subjugate them to my will."

  "That sounds like your racial ability. Fine, you can use that. It will momentarily turn enemies non-hostile, and for lower-level enemies it will turn them to our side. But don't use it on Yue-jie; it won't work on other players."

  "Got it. Use Charm on non-player enemies only, summon, and run away."

  "Perfect," said An Jing. "Now, as for Jie-fu and Linlin, they will be our main damage dealers. They both know what they are doing, and they are good at it. So, make sure that you don't interfere with their game. Is everyone clear on their roles?"

  "Yes, Jingjing," everyone said.

  "Now, as for the plan for defeating the Pixel tyrant. Let me say this clearly. There is no plan. She is unpredictable and really, really good. So any plans we make are bound to go up in flames the moment we meet her. So, all we can do is stick to our roles, not break formation, and keep the pressure on her. Don't try to be sneaky; it won't work. Remember that she is a genius. Any questions about that?"

  No one asked any questions.

  "All right. Now for the next thing. Where is she? We don't know her exact location. But from all the stories about her in various message boards, Linlin has deduced an approximate area. You see that black portion on the map, The Black Lands; that's where she is. In order to get there from here, we need to travel through a few other regions. We will have to face enemy mobs, boss fights, and even other players. Our biggest challenge will be the Iridium Gates. This is an area of constant PvP, that's player vs player fights. In the game world there is a massive war going on in this region between two in game factions of players, so there will be a lot of other players there."

  "So what are we going to do, Jingjing? We can't get through that with what we have now," said a worried Li Wei.

  "Don't worry, Jie-fu, there is a plan. So, my guild has gone ahead to the Iridium gates. There are about 30 to 40 of them logged in today. They will be waiting for us there. They will help us fight off the players long enough for us to escape through the Iridium Gates and into the Black Lands. As for individual boss fights, I will tell you what needs to be done when we are at the boss. Did everyone understand everything? Are there any questions?"

  An Mei's character made a hand raising gesture.

  "Yes, Jie?"

  "What's a guild?" An Mei asked.

  "It's Jingjing's cult, Mei," Li Wei answered his wife.

  "Ohh! Okay."

  "Are there any other questions?" An Jing asked once more. "No? Then let's head out."

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