Kasmid's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. The demon couldn't comprehend that someone would buy his entire stock, and that too at an above-market rate. He didn't look like he wanted to move to sign the paperwork, so to speak. He seemed more than content in standing there and staring at Rey, as if he were a bleeding human.

  Rey moved a hand in front of his face. "You still in there or did your non-existent soul depart from your body and is doing a happy dance?"

  Kasmid shook his head. "I've never had anyone buy everyone all at once. Makes me wonder what you need all of them for?"

  "I'm going to have them plow my ex's ex," Rey replied with a giddy smile.

  "You are your ex's ex." Kassi pointed out, trying really hard to keep that smile off her face, and failing miserably.

  "Shit, you're right. Then the one before that." Rey fixed his statement before these demon gladiators did unspeakable things to him.

  Hey, she's smiling at my jokes again. That's progress, right?

  Oh yeah, dick cheese, we might be finally getting back in the game. Demon Rey replied.

  It's just a smile, it's not like she's openly taken me back yet. So, no need to get excited. Just need to stay cool. If she smiles at the next one, then she's totally going to take me back after the third one. I just know it.

  Kasmid raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

  For a second, Rey thought that the demon had heard his internal debate, but it was a response to Rey's answer.

  "I'm always serious," Rey replied. "Fine. I'll keep half for the plowing and the rest for the arena."

  Kasmid was satisfied with that answer and nodded. "Come, we'll seal the deal in blood."

  "Blood?" Filomena croaked, drawing the look of Kasmid and a couple of his guards.

  "Yes, my dear. Every deal done in Hell is sealed in blood. How else are you to guarantee its permanence?" Rey turned to look at his new business partner. "Don't worry about her. She just turned. Doesn't know our customs yet?"

  Kasmid laughed. "Oh, yes missy, there are other customs that I'd be more than happy to teach you about."

  Ajay looked ready to fry him some eyeballs. Filomena raised an eyebrow, and before she sparked the demon's little friend, Rey put an arm over his shoulder and ushered him away.

  "Trust me, friend. You don't want to mess around with this one. She bites, and I heard this firsthand from a friend."

  Rey spared a look back where the Italian hottie's anger had turned towards Ajay, for some reason.

  "I didn't tell him anything. I swear," Ajay whispered pleadingly.

  Rey did his best to suppress his smile and glanced at Kassi, who was doing the same. There was no way she wasn't smiling. Maybe Rey was seeing what he wanted to say, but then was that a bad thing? Sometimes it was good to pretend one's delusions were real. Some would call it Schizophrenia; Rey called it a premium brain.

  He went with the slaver to his table. The others were close behind and had a glare train going. Filomena glared at her boyfriend, who glared at Rey.

  "Let's just cut to the chase," Rey said. "What's the damage?"

  "Three hundred silver coins," Kasmid said with dollar signs in his eyes.

  "Are you serious?" Noidet cried. Rey had honestly forgotten that he was even there. He could've fucked off, and Rey wouldn't even know until someone pointed out that their resident Sniffer had fled.

  "Who the fuck are you?" Kasmid growled.

  "My butler," Rey replied. "I have him do most of my menial tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, sniffing out demons, and occasionally bargaining. Besides, they're going to cost that much."

  "Of course, I'm serious." Kasmid shot back. "You said you would pay three times their market rate, and that is their price."

  Rey didn't have that much. Not near close enough, but then bargains in the demon world were struck with more than just coin. Of course, if he went that route, Kassi would never forgive him, but then again, his life choices had never exactly been forgiveness-friendly.

  "One-fifty," Rey replied.

  Kasmid contemplated it. "If I wanted to sell them for that much, I could sell them that any day of the week."

  "No, I don't think so," Rey said. "What do you think, Nidorino?"

  Noidet tensed up at being called in such a situation. "I-I mean, he could sell them for that much, but he would have to sell them one at a time, which would take a long time."

  Rey raised an eyebrow. "What say you to that?"

  Kasmid, the seasoned bargainer, didn't look the least bit deterred. He looked Rey square in the eyes. "Two-seventy."

  "Ah, one-thirty."

  That made everyone frown. Even slaver's guards looked at Rey with questioning looks, but he knew what he was doing. Truth be told, he didn't even have how much Kasmid was asking. At best, he had around on-fifty and a couple of gold ingots, which were worth a lot, but he didn't want anyone to know he had them, because even his newly acquired slaves might try to kill him for them.

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  "I don't think you know how this works," Kasmid said.

  "You're supposed to go higher, so you can meet in the middle," Noidet offered.

  "I know what I'm doing," Rey replied. He looked at his friends, as apologetically as he could, and hoped they would understand that it was only an act.

  "Say, I saw your eyes lingering on Filomena here," Rey said. "One-thirty and her."

  "What?" All three of his human friends cried. Noidet did his best to control his laughter at their outrage.

  "Rey, what the hell are you doing?" Ajay snapped.

  "I'm no livestock that can be just traded like that," Filomena snapped.

  Kassi just shook her head and didn't even look disappointed, as if she fully expected him to pull some shit like that. It seemed like whatever that was repairing between them, Rey had run it over with his car, and now he was about to back up and do it again to ensure it was properly dead.

  Man, where the fuck is Gloria and her telepathy when you need it?

  Filomena, of course, was the most vocal about this. "If you think I'll just go—"

  "Shh! The grownups are talking." He turned to Kasmid. "What do you say? Where are you going to find such a fetching creature such as this, huh?"

  Kasmid stared at her in such a vile manner as if he was undressing her with his eyes. If Rey didn't need him to formally transfer the demon to him, he would've slashed them out himself. Ajay's hands were glowing, and Rey shook his head at him. His friend glared at him, and even his mostly mild-mannered friend might fry this demon alive. Rey couldn't let that happen.

  He stepped into the demon's line of sight. "That's enough eye-fucking. So, do we have a deal or not?"

  Kasmid glared at him for blocking his view. "One-fifty and the girl, and you got yourself a deal."

  Rey sighed. "Your demons better be worth all these coins." And my friends.

  "Oh, they will be and more."

  Rey took out his purse and dropped it on the table. Kasmid called a guard over, who started counting the coins as the slaver himself brought out a deed. While they were in the middle of that, Rey looked back at his friends, who didn't even want to look at him. Well, the girls didn't, but Ajay was openly scowling at him.

  He sighed inwardly. Why am I acting like a demon when I'm not even a demon yet?

  Because that is who you truly are. Demon said, gleefully. You might as well let me take control and fuck off forever.

  The guard finished placing the silver coins on his master's table and tossed the purse with the remaining coins back to Rey. The meager coins jingled as Rey caught them and placed them back in his satchel.

  "The girl?" Kasmid nodded to Filomena, who looked ready to fry Rey and the demon.

  "I know how this game is played," Rey replied. "The deed to your men first."

  Kasmid sighed. "Fine." He pulled out a roster with the names of all the enslaved. Demon contracts for slave ownership were simple. They listed the names of the slaves, the previous owner, and the new owner. Like contracts back on earth. Though most contracts weren't about slaves these days.

  Oh, and they were signed in blood. Kasmid cut his left palm, dipped a stylus made from a sharpened bone into the open wound, and signed his name in Zrathic, a language too old and archaic. Most of Hell's official work was done in this language. It was said that Zathain, Zalathar's father, had made this language. Rey never bothered learning it. He was too busy slicing and dicing his way through the denizens of Hell to Tier up as fast as he could.

  "Your turn." Kasmid handed him the bone stylus. Rey used it to cut open his hand and signed his name in English.

  Once he finished, the whole thing pulsed a faint red twice, signalling that the contract was sealed and all Kasmid's slaves were now Rey's. The best part about the whole thing—Rey didn't feel a single shred of guilt or disgust. That sort of thing didn't happen when you had done this thing a few dozen times. He figured it was a good thing that he still retained the demon side of him to get rid of such pesky feelings.

  "You can now brand them, castrate them, or do whatever the fuck you want to them," Kasmid said. "Though if you were to take my advice, I would say you kill off a couple to let the others know that you mean business. Keeps the rest in line, you know."

  "You don't have to worry about that." Rey grinned. "They're going to walk in a straight line once I'm through with them."

  "Good. Good. Now, let's sign the next one."

  Rey paused before nodding. The demon brought the other document that said Rey was selling Filomena to him. Kasmid signed it hurriedly and handed it to Rey, who signed it and handed it back.

  Kasmid rubbed his hands excitedly. "Pleasure doing business with you. If you want to sell the other one, I have another dozen or so demons coming in tomorrow."

  Rey chuckled while his hands shook. He clenched them into fists, or he would've strangled the slaver right then and there. "Oh, I keep that one for my own pleasures."

  Kasmid laughed, and Rey didn't dare look back, because he feared he might find an arrow in his neck.

  "Come here, girl, and properly greet your new master," Kasmid smirked. "On your knees."

  Rey turned to look back at his friends, and they were one breath away from dissecting him. Some days, Rey thought he was the only smart one left in the world. Yes, he knew selling his friend to a slaver was wrong, but he did it for a good reason. After all, it was all part of the plan to get them to the D-Tier and, in the process, make sure his skin stays attached to his body.

  Filomena hadn't moved from the spot. There was only one thing Rey could read on her face, and it was anger, which she was about to vent in the form of bolts at any moment. Before that happened, Rey had to do something.

  "You heard him," he said. "You belong to him now."

  "Who the fuck—"

  "Now, let's not do this." Rey stepped forward, swallowing. "You're making me look bad in front of your master." Then he did something and was pleasantly surprised that he still had a hand. He gave her a slight push forward and whispered in her ear. "Make sure he's properly satisfied."

  Realization dawned in her eyes. Rey breathed out in relief and winked at her. Ajay tried to get in the middle of it, but she stopped him, shaking her head.

  "This is for the best."

  Filomena had just made it to Kasmid when one of the guards spoke up. "Hey, this contract is not binding."

  Rey frowned. "That's odd."

  "Did you sign it properly?" Kasmid asked.

  "I did. Let me see that thing."

  Rey took the contract from him. "Oh, I see the problem. I accidentally signed it as my nickname."

  "Nickname?" Kasmid glared.

  "Yes. Look." He pointed to his signature, which read—Donald Duck.

  Everyone leaned in, and Kassi was the first one to break. She clamped a hand on her mouth to prevent herself from laughing. Ajay snickered and shook his head as all the tension released from his body.

  "What the fuck are you playing at?" Kasmid roared. "Is this a joke to you?"

  Filomena, who had made her way to the slaver, grabbed his neck viciously. "You don't have to worry about these things. In fact, you don't have to worry about anything."

  Lightning ran down her arm and into his head, which promptly exploded. Then all Hell broke loose.