Once I wake up I flip over and just lay on my stomach, the motivation to move isn’t easily found. So I lay there as the morning sun moved. I just remain laying on the ground exhausted after my late night thinking about who I am. I am Akken the firebearer, bear, and elk but am I really all these things? I want to say yes but it’s hard to say that when no part of me agrees on what to do after my exile, is there anything that I haven't agreed on that I haven't noticed, like the faint suggestions that I've ignored before.

  With more strength and willpower than I have ever needed, I push myself up to sitting. I sigh as I look at my palms, and claws and fur. What am I? Did I stop being Akken when I awakened, when I became whole? Was Akken the firebearer and not the elk and bear. I sit and listen to the wind rustling the leaves before turning my thoughts inward towards my instincts not enough to separate myself between them but enough to hear and listen.

  The bear turns its head and releases a low rumbling growl as I call out to myself with Akken. The elk seems indifferent but when it hears my name it lefts out a huff and flicks its ears at it, clearing acknowledging it. So I am Akken all of me is Akken just like i had carved into the tree two days ago. Learning that truly causes me relief, the nerves escaping with a sigh. My shoulders relaxed while letting my hands fall into the dirt. I should start small maybe. A simple decision of what direction to go when I get up. With a deep breath I force myself up with heavy legs that feel like fallen logs. Eventually though I stand tall and I listen to myself, the bear and elk want to move forward towards the smell of fresh water, the firebearer wants to find a space to experience some peace.

  So with slow steps I head forward towards the scent and sound of the needed water. Every single chance for a choice, I stopped and waited till I heard all of my opinions from all of me. Most of them were little choices on either left or right but I still waited till I could agree on them. Most of the time I could agree with myself on picking the way, but a few times when coming across game trails of equal condition. The bear wanted to take the left while the elk wanted the right. So I waited till they made up their mind while the firebearer stayed silent seeing both options as equally right. It took some time till they agreed to take the left trail, not because of compromise but because the longer I stayed there in place the easier it was to hear that the direction that the running water was in was to the left.

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  Eventually as the forest starts to become dark the running creak comes into view. I crouch down filling up my waterskin with the water but once it’s filled and I set it aside, then I set my hands into the creak and I just feel the water along my palms and claws. Eventually disturbing my fur to allow the water to actually reach my skin. What should I do next tomorrow? Maybe I should look for a more permanent place to sleep at least for this season. With that thought in mind I listen to myself and the bear wants somewhere with cover and perhaps somewhere to spend the winter after gorging myself and growing fat for the winter. The elk wants a space that will allow me to keep guard for predators and potential scavengers. The firebearer wants to make a tent so that I’ll have shelter wherever I go.

  So that is my goal tomorrow: find shelter that is good enough to naturally allow for cover and allow me to notice predators. It will also be a good place to start on making a tent for myself, in gaining a little piece of my past that might help me choose what to do after my exile. Taking my hands out of the water and I rub them briefly together to clean what little mud and dirt remains. Getting up after drinking my fill of the cool water letting out a loud sigh while also stretching. Then I wade through the stream on my way forward deeper into the forests.

  I keep pausing for every choice on what to do while walking, really listening to what every part of me wants to do though some choices seem to be becoming easier to make with more agreement within me though it’s not complete but it is there. Once the forest becomes dark enough that it becomes harder for me to see, I stop and the choice of where to sleep is clear, laying down at the base of the largest tree around. Placing a hand upon it, feeling the bark on my palm I smile, the tree will be able to take the mark I leave well.

  Laying down against the tree looking up at the tree cover I just stare listening to the rustling of the wind against the trees. Their faint creaking of the swaying trees is calming. It’s something that I've forgotten to listen to since my awakening, with the sway of the trunks, and the rustling of the needles and leaves I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face.

  I wake from my dreamless sleep not like every other day before the sun rises but I awaken already past first light with dense fog surrounding me. Getting up slowly breathing in the cool damp air. A noise shocks me causing me to rush to full height, with quick glances I try to spot the source of the noise but the thick fog conceals it. Placing my back against the tree to guard my back from the unseen foe. I stand there ready as a steady and low growl fills my surroundings leaving my ears flicking trying to catch the source but failing. Soon I catch movement out of the corner of my eye, catching sight of the starving predator seeking to kill me.