Chapter 93
That night, I chose not to enter the Crucible, but instead stayed up and got started on some weight lifting. Despite intending to steal Axel's routine, it was still a good idea to get myself into the habit of regular exercise so I could adjust even faster.
The main problem was that all the equipment had been destroyed during the fight with Paris, leaving me to improvise.
I tried using Soot at first, but he was far too heavy to get off the ground. But I believed I had found a decent alternative.
“You look ridiculous.”
Lily looked down at me as I struggled to bench press the heavily armoured Bubblin.
“Don't listen, boss! You got this! Five more reps!”
“
My face reddened as I pushed myself to a breaking point.
It was just the three of us in Soot's pen, seeing as none of us had much need for sleep.
With a grunt, I put Bubblin down and sat up to catch my breath.
“How many sets was that now?”
I asked.
“Six! You doing good, boss!”
Bubblin picked up my waterskin and conjured some water for me. It was a basic divine spell, but I never knew just how good the pure, ice-cold water tasted before that night.
“So, Tilly came to see me earlier…”
Lily frowned.
“You're messing with her, right? Or is this some scheme of yours to undermine the church? There's no way you're seriously messing around with girls at such an important time, right?”
As I was still trying to catch my breath, whilst simultaneously working my body-altering magic, I wasn't able to respond right away.
This was apparently interpreted as permission for her to continue digging.
“I can understand it coming from Axel, but you? I thought you were like some kind of zen monk who denied himself earthly pleasures. Or a eunuch.”
“Eh!? Boss, you have no dinky?”
“I do have one… Why do you even know what a eunuch is, Bubblin?”
I eyed him suspiciously.
“Kehehe…”
His eerie laugh went unaddressed, but I did cross my legs afterwards.
“There's no scheme behind it, I just think it would be good for both of us. I like to unwind as well, you know?”
I answered Lily’s question.
“Sure, but why ? There's no future in it, and you can't even get her socks off.”
“Isn't the expression ‘get your off’?”
“Not in her case.”
I laughed at her joke.
“She's normal, unlike us. Is it wrong that I find that comforting to be around?”
“Normal? You really are messed up…”
“What's wrong? You jealous or something?”
“I just don't understand, that's all.”
She crossed her arms and looked at me with a mask of imperceptible intent. She was being more curt than usual, but I really couldn't tell if she was upset or not.
I chose to discard the possibility that she really was jealous, if only because I didn't have the mental bandwidth required to deal with that can of worms at the moment. The most likely answer to her behaviour, then, would be that she believed I would no longer work towards the goal that brought us together in the first place.
“Bubblin, can you go inside and get me something to eat?”
“Yes, boss!”
He sprinted off, leaving me alone with Lily.
“...How many souls does a devil typically hold onto?”
I asked.
Lily did not waste time questioning why I brought this up. She understood that we only had until Bubblin's return to discuss such a topic.
“Depends on the rank. But we generally won't let them go unless we need to trade them for something.”
“So outside of that, they stay bound until you die?”
“Killing the owner of your soul doesn't free you in all cases. Any devil worth their horns will keep your soul bound to an object. That way, if they die, your soul is locked into a prison of your own making. It dissuades our subjects from getting too uppity.”
She idly fiddled with her necklace as she spoke.
“Why?”
“Divine power is gifted directly from a higher being into the recipient's soul, right? Except for Bubblin's case, where he spontaneously generates it himself, this is the rule. Therefore, the connection between soul and god would remain even if the body were to perish.”
“Yeah, I'm following. What's your point?”
“Well, unholy and holy influences are in direct opposition. If we were to gather a large number of souls with a divine, holy influence, then flood them with infernal holy influence, couldn't we erode the connection entirely?”
Lily scoffed at first, but then she fell deep into thought.
“Would it work?”
I pressed her.
“...Theoretically. I know many devils who like to manipulate and torture souls until they convert, but I've never heard of them trying to destroy the connection entirely.”
“Makes sense.”
I shrugged.
“This method would unbind the soul entirely, right? Meaning the devil would also lose influence over it.”
Lily nodded to confirm my suspicion.
“But it would also mean no god could claim it… they would just dissipate after a while.”
She spoke her thoughts aloud. I couldn't help but smile at her confirmation. This was all just a theory I had been toying with while considering ways to use the devils to my advantage, but now I had a good reason to think it would really work.
But then Lily shook her head.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“No, it's no good after all. No devil would ever throw away souls for no reason, and if the soul in question found their faith again before vanishing, the connection would just be restored, and nothing would change.”
“I wouldn't be so sure. If the devil gained 100 souls, under the condition they sever 50 of them, that is still a profit of 50 souls, right?”
“Sure, but what stops us from taking all 100?”
“It's an investment.”
I smirked.
“If I gave you 50 souls and proved I could continue to provide more over time, it would be in your best interest not to double-cross me for a short-term profit, right? It's basic economics.”
“Okay… true, but what about the connection being restored?”
“It can't be restored if the soul is destroyed right after the severing occurs.”
Lily smiled her usual bright smile for the first time that night.
“That's diabolical. On a large enough scale—”
“Even a god's power could be undermined.”
I finished her sentence.
Her eyes briefly flashed with their true, devilish colours, and she bit her lip while snickering.
“Exciting… This is exciting!”
She gave me a half-lidded glance and stepped into my personal space.
“So? How do we get started? Don't tell me these are little more than sweet nothings I'm hearing.”
Her pleasant scent tickled my nose, but I remained level-headed.
“I have a plan that may result in you claiming a huge number of souls, but it will take time. I'll go into more detail in the usual place tonight.”
I nodded behind her, and she turned to see Bubblin running back with a slab of beef on a tray.
“Here, boss! Good for protein!”
“Thank you.”
I took a bite and silently stared at my meal.
“What's wrong? Did he poison it? I bet it tastes foul, right?”
Lily giggled, but stopped when she noticed the complicated expressions crossing my darkening face.
Slowly, I spoke my mind.
“It's… Good. Why is it so good?”
It irked me. Even being the goblin supremacist that I was, I struggled to accept how much better than me he was in the kitchen.
“What? Let me try.”
Lily snatched my fork and took a bite.
“...This can't be happening.”
Lily mirrored my expression.
That night, we solemnly vowed to handle the dorm meals until we no longer felt shame in the goblin’s presence.
“Why you two crying?”
Bubblin frowned as he also helped himself to the food.
“Hmm… need more salt. This not my best work.”
“Shut up, you stupid goblin… Just… Shut up.”
Lily put my thoughts into words, and we focused our minds on other matters.
***
The moon had been chased away by the morning light, marking the arrival time of my “date” with Meztili. Of course, the gentlemanly thing to do would be to pick her up, and so I left my room after getting prepared, took about ten steps, and knocked on her door.
“You ready?”
I called out.
There was no direct response from inside, but the sounds of frantic movement told me all I needed.
“Do you need some more time?”
There was a pause, then an ever so faint “mhmm”.
“Alright, take your time. I’ll wait downstairs.”
I took a seat on the lounge room sofa and just… sat there. For some reason, everybody else had suddenly become too busy to stick around, leaving me alone in the house. Even Bubblin had left with Soot because he wanted to try jousting with some of the soldiers he had healed the night before.
It was a shame, really. I would have liked to talk about my plans with Axel. As a man who previously missed out on teenage romance, I also never got to talk about the topic with my guy friends. But he had left in a hurry immediately after breakfast, almost as if he were trying to escape me.
Time passed at an excruciatingly slow pace, and I worried that my boredom might end up affecting the atmosphere when Meztili came down.
In an attempt to keep myself bright and happy, I pulled out the gift I had prepared for her and busied myself with making sure there were no flaws.
The small wooden sculpture had only taken me a few hours to carve, but it was undoubtedly one of my best works. It resembled a chimera—at least, the way I recalled their portrayal from my past life. A lion's body, a snake for a tail, and a goat's head next to the lion's.
I made it a little more cutesy than my own tastes would have demanded, but remembering the toys I once saw in her room, I was sure I had made it to her liking.
Smoothing out the jagged parts to prevent a nasty splinter only kept me occupied for a few minutes, and I was once again left twiddling my thumbs.
Being left without anything to work on and without anyone to banter with really put me in a state of agitation. I could scarcely remember when I last had time to bored. I fixed up some tears on the couch, made sure the light mana crystals were properly affixed to the lamps, and finally prepared a serving of sausage and mashed potatoes.
…It wasn't a very good date meal, and I wasn't even hungry enough to want it myself. Plus, the sausages were undercooked, and the potato had awkwardly large chunks left in it.
“Am I… Nervous?”
I mumbled in disbelief. I was not a lovesick puppy or some inexperienced youth. I had extensive experience in this field, how could I possibly be nervous? If things went well, then great, I had a girlfriend to spend time with. If not, then that's fine too, we would just remain as friends.
It was illogical. I had factored in the likely outcomes and mentally prepared for any unexpected curveballs. Even if she somehow hated me by the end of the day, I ultimately would not be inconvenienced too much.
Was it my physical age that was to blame? Some kind of hormonal change induced by the stimulation of the errant thoughts that naturally drifted into my teenage mind? If I manually altered the chemical changes in my body, could I forcefully return to a composed state?
The desire to try it surfaced, but I quickly chased the thought away. I told myself that I should accept this as further proof that my humanity remained, and quietly ate my terrible breakfast.
“U-um…”
A soft voice interrupted my contemplations, and I looked up to see Meztili standing at the foot of the staircase.
She was awkwardly trying to figure out how she should stand to best show off her appeal. It was obvious to me, but I found it sort of endearing.
“You look go—
I still had a sausage in my mouth as I tried to speak confidently, and half of it went flying down my throat, causing me to gag.
“Rex!”
Meztili came running but tripped on the longer-than-usual white-and-gold dress she was wearing.
She went head over heels, landed on her back, and the tail end of her garments had flipped up over her head.
Meanwhile, I was gagging so severely that tears were pouring out of my eyes, and I could feel my face turning red.
Seeing my date splayed out awkwardly, I focused on my esophagus and tightened it in the hopes that I could fix my own issue before helping her up.
With a My sausage-y assailant vacated my throat at high speeds and collided with Anubis, who had appeared to check on his granddaughter.
I failed to check my feet as I stepped forward, and as a result, I tripped over Tiara as she sprinted for the airborne sausage, landing on my face right beside Meztili.
Near-silence blanketed the building, disrupted only by Tiara’s happy purring as she nibbled away.
Meztili and I turned to face one another in unison.
“Oh, you're not wearing your bandages.”
I commented dryly.
“Yeah… haha…”
Her eyes were watering, either from hitting her nose on the way down or sheer embarrassment, but her smile still lit up her face, which highlighted her natural beauty wonderfully.
“So… Wanna bake cupcakes? I think we have the ingredients here.”
“I'd like that.”
She responded. We helped each other up, silently agreed never to mention what happened ever again, and stood side by side in the kitchen.
“Will he be chaperoning us?”
I pointed at the wildly cackling skull that hovered before us.
“Sorry… I hope that's not an issue. He promised to keep quiet at least.”
His laughter certainly was quiet, but I had no problem with him tagging along if that made Meztili feel more relaxed.
With things having calmed down, I was able to properly appreciate her attire, though I made an effort to remain nonchalant, so as not to be labelled as a pervert by the ever-watching skull.
Her face was just as beautiful as I recalled from Farrowgate, and while her figure was not as tightly wrapped without the bandages, the tasteful silk dress was accentuating all the right spots. The contrast between her skin tone and the dress itself was particularly eye-catching.
“Will you be okay without your bandages? You're not in any pain or discomfort?”
I broached the topic while passing over the ingredients. I would normally be concerned about ruining such an immaculate piece of clothing, but I had already seen her using magic to keep her clothing tidy before.
“I will be okay. I have taken some measures to mitigate any problems for the day.”
“Really? Just like that? I would think—ah, never mind…”
I awkwardly reeled my curiosity in. This was a date, not an interrogation, and there was a fine line between showing an interest and thoughtless scrutiny. Whether this was something she could always do or not wasn't really my business.
“I am sorry for making you wait. I am not used to applying makeup.”
She brushed her voluminous, wavy hair back behind her ear as she showed me her profile. My eyes naturally drifted to the nape of her neck, but I quickly corrected myself and focused on her facial features instead.
This was a feminine tell of some sort, of that I was certain. I just had to make sure not to fumble the softball she had tossed my way.
“I couldn't tell, you look gorgeous as you are.”
I responded, fully confident in my suave compliment.
“Oh… I put a lot of time into it, is it really not noticeable?”
She brushed her hair back in place and focused her gaze downwards as she silently began whisking the eggs.
“.”
I heard a distinct snicker at my expense. Anubis, however, was merely shaking his head at me, not saying a word. It must have come from elsewhere, but I could not detect their presence anywhere.
Irritated by my own mistake, I began calculating possible attack routes. I could be aggressive, grab her chin, lean in close, and say some sappy line with total sincerity. I could apologise, then reassure her that she did a good job with her makeup. Or I could divert to a new topic entirely, and from there—
“Is this okay?”
Meztili showed me the bowl she had been beating away at, and I realised I totally missed my window to take action.
“Hm? Yeah, looks good.”
I absent-mindedly took it from her, then transferred the contents into a baking tray.
What was I supposed to say? Should I ask something about her personal life? Maybe tell a story about myself?
I couldn't settle on a path to victory, which led to an unpleasant revelation.
The problem wasn't that I was nervous. The problem was that I was completely out of touch. I spent too many years in total comfort with my former wife. With her, there was no need to think about topics, as we knew everything about one another already, and could voice whatever stray thought entered our minds.
I hadn't gone on a date in about 40 years across both lives. This was beyond being rusty, this was downright embarrassing.
And we had yet to even leave the dorms.
