When I opened the door, Stupid beelined in front of me. From the noise, I think she might have actually fallen down the stairs.

  I turned to It.

  And gasped.

  His rags were gone, replaced by his three-piece suit. Not just that, I had never seen him with shoes and a monocle as well.

  “When,” I strangled out.

  It smiled. “Beeg, it is a most auspicious day. Our little Warlock does magic in public for the first time.”

  I squinted.

  “That didn’t answer the question,” I huffed.

  ”I’m aware.”

  “It, are you deliberately piling on to make this more stressful?”

  “Beeg, why would I ever do that?” he drawled, making his way out the door. I grunted and grabbed the book off the desk before stomping after him.

  As it turns out, Stupid had fallen down the stairs. I feel like it said a lot about the clientele that no one had bothered to check on her.

  “Stupid, are you all right?” I asked squatting down.

  She glanced up. “Oh, Yeth Beeg! Stupid landed on her ears, so she no hurt!” she giggled, hopping up.

  “Then… why were you still on the floor?”

  “Stupid was waiting for Beeg,” she smiled, reaching up to pat my elbow.

  Sometimes I wondered if I sighed more than breathed.

  While I was distracted by Stupid, It continued into the common area, stopping to speak with Mrs. Blurtz.

  “Greetings, you must be the owner of this fine establishment,” I heard him say. I looked up just in time to see him give a small bow.

  Mrs. Blurtz however, was having none of it.

  “I know ya didn’t pay for a room last night,” she huffed, gesturing Troll-ish over. “So what’re ya doin’ coming down those stairs?”

  “Ah, I have come to accompany our young Warlock,” he smiled.

  “Bugzlarthagarm, smash him on the head and put him out. We ain’t got not Warlocks here,” she spat.

  Bugzlarthagarm?!

  It cleared his throat and held up a hand as… Bugzlarthagarm… stood up and shambled over all too eagerly.

  I think I will just stick with Troll-ish… or maybe just Bugz, I sighed, patting Stupid on the head.

  “Ah, Beeg, if you would,” It monotoned.

  Mrs. Blurtz’ eyebrows went to the roof, but she gestured for Bugz to stop.

  He looked way too disappointed.

  “Beeg? What is the meaning of this?” she scolded. “I told you you’s was hanging with the wrong crowd! A Warlock?! You should be ashamed! Take that silly hood off and get over ‘ere!”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  I blinked. Why was I being scolded by my landlady? Nevertheless, I obeyed and pulled off the hood, limping over.

  “Oh,” she blinked. “Your hair looks nice.”

  I felt the book hum slightly in agreement.

  “It wasn’t that bad — “

  “Yes it was,” she cut me off, “Now, what is this business of Warlock? I won’t have no practitioners of the foul magics in my place. No I most certainly won’t!”

  “I’m not a Warlock, Mrs. Blurtz,” I said tiredly. “I work at a store — the same store you sent me to, way back when.”

  She huffed. “You still work with Vaarg?”

  I nodded.

  She squinted at It.

  “One of yous is lying. What’s yer name,” she stated, flatly.

  “Itzemus Puro, at your service,” It monotoned with another small bow.

  “And I eez Stupid!” Elara chirped.

  Bugz shambled over and plopped down next to her, as if he had found a companion. I just rolled my eye and made it the rest of the way across the floor to the counter.

  “I’m really not a Warlock, Mrs. Blurtz,” I tried again.

  “Mmhmm, and you promise you haven’t made no pact with a dark one?”

  I paused, thinking of Vaarg. I did work for him. That… that didn’t actually count, did it?

  “Not that I’m aware of?” I said instead.

  It snorted. “Anyway, he is here to magic up your common room, I believe?”

  “Magic? I thought we was contractin’,” she stated flatly. “Beeg, I didn’t know you could do magic.”

  “Neither did I,” I responded dryly.

  “His remodel upstairs was magic,” It cut in, “I was there.”

  Traitor.

  Mrs. Blurtz’ eye widened. “What kind of magic is that,” she accused. “I’ve heard of magic for fireballs. I’ve heard of magic for curses. I ain’t never heard of no magic for cleaning.”

  “Neither have I,” I muttered under my breath. The book opened slightly, just to snap down on my finger.

  “Did you know, there is a magic for cooking roasted newts?” It monotoned conversationally.

  Mrs. Blurtz froze, finger raised mid air.

  ”Really?” she asked, her eyebrow sneaking towards her hairline.

  I grimaced, trying to free my finger, but the book was adamant.

  I sighed and dropped my hand, letting the book hang from it under my cloak.

  “Indeed,” he nodded.

  “Well, I think I should like to try that,” she replied.

  Why is this my life.

  “That one does require a pact with a dark one.”

  Mrs. Blurtz pursed her lips.

  An explosion blasted out, causing all of us to spin in alarm.

  Stupid sat there wiping her nose and giggling while Bugz clapped happily, the feather he had used to tickle her nose held in one hand.

  Behind her, there was a hole, straight through the stairs.

  “BEEG!” Mrs. Blurtz screeched.

  “It wasn’t me!” I exclaimed.

  “The nine-hells it wasn’t you! There’s a hole in my stairwell! Bugzlarthagarm! GIVE ME THAT FEATHER!” She crescendoed as Bugz reached forward with the feather again.

  He looked like a scolded child as he stood and brought it to her.

  “Beeg, fix it!” she demanded, apparently no longer concerned with whether I could do magic or not.

  I helplessly raised my hand with the book still dangling from it. “Uhm, help?”

  The book ignored me, opting to remain latched to my now numb finger.

  It chuckled.

  “Ah, well, it seems like that is all the time we have for today. Beeg is needed at work,” he grinned, turning to leave and gesturing for me to follow.

  Stupid happily bounced up and ran after, her ears flopping.

  “Beeg! BEEG, don’t you! BEEG! YOU BETTER NOT!”

  “It, I am never getting you another roasted newt again,” I mouthed toward It as he turned to smile again.

  I felt the book tremble, visibly perturbed by the stairs. I lifted it just in time to catch it when it released my poor finger.

  You owe me, kid, were the only words I saw.

  The book pulsed and the world exploded in light and sound.

  ____

  I blinked and stumbled as sight and hearing both returned.

  Mrs. Blurtz stood slack jawed.

  Bugz clapped.

  “I have no idea what you put in this drink, but I want another!” a kobold customer called.

  It stood, staring at me, but I was staring at the stairs.

  They were repaired.

  They were better than repaired.

  They had all been replaced by what looked like teak wood.

  “Are you serious right now,” I muttered.

  “Oh Beeg, I love it,” Mrs. Blurtz gushed, running over to the stairs and trailing her finger on them. “No splinters, Buggie!” she exclaimed, her Troll lumbering over to see for himself.

  “Ok Beeg,” she smiled sweetly, standing to walk towards me.

  I stepped back. Something in her eye was not right.

  “The stairs are lovely,” she smiled. “For the tables, I want mahogany! And I want the entire floor to be marble!”

  I watched in horror as the look in her eye intensified.

  “I want crystal goblets!” She belted, laughing maniacally.

  I turned to It, who was still staring at me.

  “You… you didn’t really mean it, did you?” he mouthed.

  I… I’m ashamed to admit, but I turned and fled.