Colby turned on his heels and started back the way he came.

  “Sorry,” he muttered. “Wrong alley.”

  He started speed-walking, swinging his arms and tensing his glutes. Something grabbed the back of his shirt. The next thing he knew, the world turned sideways, and his rump hit the not-so-soft cobblestone floor.

  Great, now his sitting muscle was probably bruised.

  Colby got up and dusted himself off. A couple of choice words were about to leave his mouth when he noticed that the two men had drawn their swords. As dull as they were, a sword was still a sword. Double dagger girl had both her rusted-over daggers in a reverse grip, clumps of failed mozzarella balls still stuck to them. Cheese was an all-powerful food, but even it couldn’t remove the taint corroding the blade.

  He cleared his throat and put on his best customer service voice, “What seems to be the problem, fine gentlemen and lady?”

  “Enough talk,” double dagger girl said. She brought one of her daggers to Colby’s neck. He felt the cool, dirty metal—and a single speck of cheese—press against his throat, enough to sting but not break skin.

  Colby raised his hands up in the air.

  “Give us all your gold. Now,” she said.

  The two bald men grunted, trying to intimidate him. Looking closer at them, they looked similar. Twins perhaps? Also, there was something about the way they behaved that made it seem like their swords weren’t the only things that were dull.

  “If you insist,” Colby said.

  His Inventory opened up right in front of him. Slowly, he brought both hands down, sticking them into the screen. He took one out, fist clenched tight.

  “This is all of the gold you’re getting.”

  Colby uncurled his hand.

  For a split second, the trio of rogue adventurers diverted their attention to the ground where the coins should’ve landed—if Colby had any gold to give. He wasn’t lying when he said that ‘this was all the gold they were getting.’

  In that split second, Colby managed to scramble back. His neck was once again knife-free, and he would work to keep it that way. At the same time, he pulled his other hand out of his Inventory, clutching the stick that just so happened to look like a gun and pointed it at the trio.

  “Drop your weapons. Hands in the air,” Colby said, aiming his stick-gun at them.

  The two bald adventurers dropped their dull swords. Metal clanged against the cobblestone ground, joined only by the sweat pouring down their terrified face. His suspicions were confirmed; they really were the dull duo in more ways than one.

  Double dagger girl flinched, nearly joining her dim-witted companions and becoming just girl again.

  “That’s just a stick,” she groaned, before snapping at the dull duo. “Pick up your swords!”

  They grunted, doing as told, picking up their weapons and folding their arms to look as intimidating as possible, acting as if they hadn’t been whimpering in fear just moments prior.

  Double dagger girl inched forward, wanting to grab him by the collar and make sure he was very well acquainted with her dagger.

  “It’s not a stick,” Colby said, finger shifting to where the trigger would be if it were actually a gun, and not just a cool-looking stick. “This is a magical gun that’s been enchanted to look like a stick.”

  “That is very clearly a stick,” she said, taking another step forward.

  Colby closed one eye and brought the definitely-a-gun-and-not-just-a-cool-looking-stick to his face. “Sure, but it’s your funeral.”

  Double dagger girl paused. She was hesitating, deliberating Colby’s words. Good. Every iota of time that he could buy was precious because while he pretended to aim his definitely-a-gun-and-not-just-a-cool-looking-stick at double dagger girl, he was busy preparing cheese within his Core.

  The Colby inside of his Core was scrambling.

  What cheese should he make? What spell should he cast?

  No amount of working in a cheese shop could prepare him for being robbed in an alleyway. All of his brainpower had been spent on that bluff. He was too frazzled and couldn’t think straight. So, he just went with good old reliable: mozzarella.

  Back in the real world, double dagger girl took another step forward. “Last chance. Hand over all of your gold or else.”

  “How about no.”

  His finger pressed down on the fake wooden trigger.

  “Bang!” he shouted.

  All three of the adventurers flinched, bringing their weapons up to their chests as if that could stop a bullet from a magical gun. Fortunately for them, even dull or rusted-over blades could block a [Cheese Shot].

  A piece of mozzarella materialized out of Colby’s finger, launching forward toward double dagger girl. It soared past her tiny daggers, striking her in the chest. She flinched again, slowly bringing her hand up to where she had been shot. Instead of blood, she found a sticky ball of mozzarella stuck to her clothes.

  “Why that—”

  Colby wished he could’ve heard what she was saying, but he was already out of the alleyway and back onto the main street. The definitely-a-gun-and-not-just-a-cool-looking-stick safely back in his Inventory.

  He bumped into someone… again.

  Colby fell onto the floor, his sitting muscle aching from falling on cobblestone. Why couldn’t the floor be made of pillows?

  Wait. The last time he bumped into someone—about a minute ago—it was a bunch of adventurers threatening to rob him. Oh, curds! Don’t tell him that he was about to be robbed by another trio of adventurers.

  Colby looked up only to find a short, brown haired boy with so many holes in his shirt you’d think it was a fashion statement, holding his hand toward him.

  “Porter!” Colby shouted, grabbing his hand and allowing himself to be pulled up. It was mainly himself doing all of the pulling. Porter was all skin and bones; it was a miracle he could do Supply Runs, let alone what Colby was planning to do next to him.

  “What are you doing here, Port?”

  “You ran off so fast earlier, I thought something had happened. So, I chased after you to make sure you’re alright.”

  “Thanks, Port. I was alright earlier, but now I’m not.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m being chased. These bad adventurers are chasing me and want my gold. I gave them all the gold I had on me—which was zero. They’re not happy, and now they’re chasing after me.”

  Porter leaned to the side, peering past Colby’s head and down the alleyway. “Is it those three right there?”

  As much as Colby wanted to turn around for comedic purposes, he knew that there were only three people who would be running down the alleyway after him.

  “Yes, Port. Now let's go.”

  Colby jumped up into the air, knowing full well what Porter would do.

  His best friend threw out his arms, catching him bridal style.

  Okay, that wasn't quite what he was expecting. Colby was hoping for a piggyback ride. Also, for the remainder of this carry, he was renaming bridal style to mega-manly style, just so his ego wouldn't be bruised.

  “Onward, Porter!” Colby shouted. “To the cheese shop!”

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  “Sure,” Porter said. “Just a sec.”

  Colby watched as Porter shut his eyes. He was working on a spell.

  One second later.

  “It's been a second,” Colby said.

  No response. Porter was too focused on the spell.

  Darn it, Port. Don't say, give me a sec if you're going to take more than a second.

  Double dagger girl and the dull duo were seconds away from reaching them. Sweat poured down his forehead. Colby had one eye fixed on Porter, pleading for him to hurry up, while the other was on the three rogue adventurers.

  If he didn't get stabbed with a rusty and slightly cheesy dagger first, he was going to go permanently cock-eyed.

  All of a sudden, Colby felt his body grow lighter.

  “Done,” Porter said. “Sorry, it took so long. I'm used to casting [Lighten] before I start carrying stuff, not after.”

  “Never mind that. They're coming!” Colby shouted, pointing at double dagger girl who was about to double dagger stab him in the face.

  “It's okay,” Porter said, hopping into the air. “This is quite common as a Supply Runner.”

  Double dagger girl, double dagger missed them as Porter used her as a stepping stool. He kicked off her head, launching higher into the air as she tumbled to the ground.

  However, now they were stuck right in the path of the dull duo's dull swords.

  “Mommy!” Colby cried, hugging Porter tight.

  There was a sudden burst of speed as they shot forward, past the swing of the dull duo. Porter stepped on their heads, pushing them back as he kicked off. The duo crashed backward into double dagger girl, sending her double daggers flying out of her hands and transforming her back into just girl.

  No idea what Porter had just done. Probably some new spell that he had learnt and hadn’t told him about yet. Whatever it was, thank gouda that it didn’t take more than a second to cast.

  With only air left to step on, Porter and Colby found themselves moving closer to the ground until they landed. Porter ran off using [Dash], blitzing down the alleyway and back onto the main street.

  “You did it, Port!” Colby shouted.

  “It’s no biggie.”

  Now that they were home free, Colby decided to take the time to craft the chévre for Ms. M. It took a bit longer to create than mozzarella, but it was still quite fast, especially compared to aged cheese—something which he couldn’t make in his Core just yet.

  Colby closed his eyes and focused on his Core.

  Inside, he grabbed a bottle of Skate Goat milk from The Cheesetastic Fridge and poured most of its contents into Pottingham, before setting aside the bottle, which contained a couple of drops to pacify Pottingham later.

  He retrieved some rennet and starter culture, dumping the mixture into Pottingham.

  After which, he turned the dial on Stove. Flames licked Pottingham’s bottom like a cat grooming its companion.

  Unfortunately for him, Stove wasn’t quite the obedient little Core Construct, deviating from its set temperature whenever it felt like it. Though not really a problem when he made mozzarella, a key part of making chévre was allowing the mixture to culture at around 72°F/22°C, for an extended period of time—something that Stove refused to do.

  He really should just scrap him, that is, if he hadn’t already found a workaround to his insubordination. It was time to bring out his secret weapon.

  Meet Temp-Tation, the glass thermometer.

  Instead of doing the smart thing of refurbishing Stove, he made an entirely new Core Construct just to tame him. Why? Heck, even Colby forgot the reason. Now, he just conveniently says that it’s a way for him to challenge himself to improve his cheesemaking abilities. Got to love those stupidly self-imposed limitations that you spin as a way to better yourself.

  Temp-tation was the only Core Construct that Stove didn't mind standing on top of him. Glass noodle-like legs filled with red temperature-sensing liquid sprouted out of her body. Using them, she strutted all over Stove’s top. She caressed his unused burners, rubbing her body up and down them, just enough to put him under her spell.

  Once Stove was bewitched, she lay down on her side, slowly caressing his unused burners, just enough to keep the fire going, but not enough that he’d burn the milk.

  Colby glanced over at Temp-tation’s body. No, he wasn’t attracted to sexy inanimate glass thermometers. He was merely checking the temperature listed on her body. A perfect 72°F/22°C.

  Normally, it’d take a couple of hours of simmering to allow the mixture to culture, even with using Mana to speed it up. But Temp-tation didn’t just work on Stove; she affected the mixture too.

  Too enamoured by Temp-tation’s beyond sexy display, the mixture couldn’t control themselves anymore. They released small, white, white solid droplets of curds, speeding up the coagulation process, turning what should’ve taken hours into minutes.

  Congratulations! Temp-tation has reached Level 6!

  Yes! Another Core Construct leveled up. Even though Temp-tation was created much later than Stove, she managed to double his level. Yeah, maybe he really should scrap Stove, but as the wise and definitely not lazy monks of not-procrastination once said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

  Colby decided to take a closer look at Temp-tation. Again, not because he was attracted to overly hot glass thermometers, filled with sexy red liquid which glistened through her glass curves.

  Temp-tation:

  Level 6.

  A sexy glass thermometer that does more than measure heat—she controls it using her sultry appearance. As a side effect, it quickens the coagulation step in the cheese-making process.

  (Each level minutely increases the max temperature she can set an object to.)

  (Each level minutely reduces the amount of time taken for curds to form.)

  Yeah, maybe he should scrap Temp-tation instead, before the thermometer accusations catch up with him.

  He looked back at Pottingham. The mixture within looked like soft, young, sticky yoghurt, along with some clear yellowish liquid separating from it: the whey.

  Colby looked at Temp-tation, giving her a nod. She winked back before getting up and strutting away from Stove. Leaping to the ground, she walked toward The Cheestastic Fridge, where she proceeded to rub her hands all over the blue door.

  Disappointed, Stove’s flames immediately died out.

  Colby turned toward Cheese-lander and Cheese Bowl, giving them a nod. The moment the cheesemaking process had begun, they ceased their Rock-Paper-Scissors duel, eagerly waiting for their turn.

  They fused once again, turning into the all-powerful Bowl-lander, a glass bowl with a plastic colander on top. Bowl-lander walked toward Pottingham with their plastic and glass noodle-like limbs. They grabbed the pot’s metallic body, lifting him up into the air and pouring his contents into themselves.

  Pottingham screamed and cried, metal noodle limbs flailing around as he was robbed of his precious drink. When he was finally put down, Colby grabbed the bottle of Skate Goat milk, pouring the last few drops into Pottingham. It stopped his tantrum as he suckled on those delicious droplets.

  Colby’s attention moved back over to Bowl-lander. A piece of butter muslin cloth had appeared inside of them, straddling the mixture he had robbed from Pottingham.

  This was a much more delicate process compared to mozzarella, where Bowl-lander aggressively kneaded the curds within them.

  The glass limbs of Cheese Bowl slowly stroked the sides of Cheese-lander, encouraging his fused counterpart to gently squeeze out the whey from the mixture into the bowl. Soon, after plenty of gentle encouragement, all of the whey had been drained, leaving behind a layer of fresh chévre inside of Cheese-lander.

  Colby grabbed that fresh batch of cheese, rolling it up and down until it became a delicious, creamy white log. From there, he opened The Cheesetastic Fridge, placed his creation inside, allowing it to rest before he inevitably cast it for Ms. M—assuming she hadn’t stormed off from the long wait.

  He opened his eyes, finding himself still within Porter’s arms. The wind crashed against them, rustling their hair and tugging at their clothes—in Porter’s case, his skin. As Colby looked up at Porter, he realized something. A new type of sickness had been created today. Not sea sick, or even carriage sick, he was now Porter sick.

  Colby puffed up his cheeks, trying his best not to hurl. Maybe he should retreat back into his Core before he ended up decorating his friend with grossness.

  Too late.

  They were back at the cheeseshop.

  Great.

  Time to see whether Ms. M really didn’t mind waiting for her cheese or if she had stormed off, leaving him to accept the punishment for upsetting a regular. Hopefully, they wouldn’t quintuple-kill him.

  Colby swallowed the lump in his throat, ignoring the fact that it tasted like bile.