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Chapter 8 - The Shape of a Smile

  Katharina woke slowly from a terrible nightmare. It was hazy, but she remembered slavery. She had been sold off to work in the fields of some nobleman's extravagant manor.

  She was at her boyfriend's. She could feel the flatness of his pillow below her cheek. The more she woke, the nightmare didn’t fade the way dreams normally did. If anything, it sharpened.

  Eyes still closed, Katharina reached across the bed to find comfort, wanting to press her face against his chest, feel his warmth, hear his sleepy grumble as she stole the covers again.

  But instead of the width of a double bed and the comfort of her favorite person, her fingers found something cold, hard, and rough extending up and along the length of the bed.

  A wall.

  She felt the hairs on her neck rising along with her heartbeat. Her eyelids flew up to the view of an unfamiliar ceiling. She shot upright, hurling the covers to the foot of the bed. Sitting in the unfamiliar room, the memories of yesterday crashed down on her like a tidal wave. The field. The bath. The man with the bright blue eyes. She pressed a hand to her face, trying to slow her breathing. She was awake now and back in the nightmare.

  The room was barely larger than the beds it contained, two slim frames pressed against opposite walls, with a single narrow table between them and one simple chair.

  Above the table, a golden shimmer fell in through the curtain, while a bustling outside told of people already at work in the morning light.

  Lian lay curled on the other bed, half-tangled in her blanket, still asleep. Her breathing was slow and even, her dark hair falling like a shadow over the edge of the mattress.

  Then she stirred, seemingly woken by Katharina's sudden throwing of bedsheets, but Lian didn't seem annoyed; she simply blinked herself awake slowly. For a moment, she looked at Katharina, eyes warm but quiet, before a small, easy smile tugged at her lips that was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

  “Good morning,” she said, voice hushed in the smallness of the room. She would say that each morning, and Katharina knew what it meant by now, but today, for once, it really did feel good. But in a way that had to be too good to be true, leaving a sense of unease in its wake.

  Katharina watched as Lian lifted both hands, pressing them together and resting them under her cheek in a gesture for sleep. Her head tilted slightly.

  "??? °?? sleep ??χχ?"

  Katharina squinted in concentration; she had caught the middle word 'sleep', and from the tone and gesture, it seemed like a question.

  She felt the cogs turning in her head, the strain of choosing the correct response from the limited number of words she knew, and her uncertainty held the words stuck in her throat.

  “Yes,” she said slowly, each sound thick on her tongue. “Good... sleep.”

  Katharina knew her accent was thick, if you could even call it an accent and not just egregious mispronunciations of each syllable, but the soft nod from Lian let her know that she had been understood, even if it was more like the exchange of a toddler crudely mimicking sounds rather than actual words.

  Lian pushed herself up and got out of bed, meeting the cool morning air with brisk movement. On the small table below the window lay two sets of neatly folded clothes. Each was provided with an ankle-length brown linen dress and a stiff, dusty green bodice piece to wear over the dress, betraying the gaunt figures of them both.

  Lian slipped into hers with practiced ease, while Katharina hesitated, fingers fumbling at the stiff bodice buttons. Katharina found it odd that Lian seemed so familiar with everything in the manor. Out in the fields, Katharina had worn her own pants and the scratchy linen shirt she’d been stuffed into before the wagon ride, while Lian had worn a similar outfit, a plain, scruffy gray dress, the simplest kind, leaving no hint that she had ever worn anything else.

  But the clothes were not the only thing Lian seemed familiar with.

  Lian moved like someone who knew the rhythms of this place, not like a girl newly purchased or someone who had spent her life working in the fields.

  As they left their little room, Katharina was slowly mulling over the experiences of yesterday.

  They had been brought into the manor a little before noon, stripped, scrubbed, and dressed in neat satin clothes that had lain cool against her sunbrowned skin. All of it, she realized, had been for the sake of presenting them to the two men.

  Master Ravnsund and the beautiful blond man, whose identity she still did not know.

  He had asked her something, and she had known what he was asking. Somehow, she had just known that he was asking where she was from.

  It had felt like he was speaking not with words, but with meaning. With a commanding presence that had been captivating, almost seductive.

  She had felt an urge, sharp and reckless, to blurt out everything: her home address, the precise coordinates, to pull out her phone and show him the Google Maps route home.

  But beneath that urge, there had been fear. Fear that she would lose herself in the sound of this man's voice. As if she told him anything, he would steal her truth from her.

  It had taken every ounce of will left in her to choose her words, to hold back the need to give him everything he asked for. In the end, she had settled on the vaguest answer she could manage: that she was from a land to the north. Now, she wondered why she hadn’t just lied or why she hadn’t stayed silent. Had he even understood what she said? It didn’t seem like it.

  Maybe, if she could have spoken to him with that same seductive force he had used on her, they could have understood each other.

  Katharina's longing for communication was interrupted by her realization that they had arrived in a mess hall filled with people, slaves, of all ages, rushing to get to their posts with a little food in their stomachs.

  Her feet had brought her here without her notice. And it worried her that she no longer noticed the tugging feeling that stirred her; it had become a state of being, drifting into the background and muddying like any other constant noise would.

  They had been in the mess hall late yesterday to get their dinner, but then it had been mostly empty. Now, the bustling sea of people made the hall feel hectic.

  Katharina stood hesitantly in the doorway, while Lian dove straight in, navigating the wave of people coming and going with ease. Before Katharina could orient herself properly in the chaos, Lian was already waving her over to the end of a long table, where she had grabbed two bowls of breakfast goop for them.

  Katharina huddled over, keeping her head low.

  The long table hosted several small groups, all having the same grayish goop. Some in similar clothing to them, but others in completely different clothing; the most surprising was probably some dressed in what looked like leotards, though the fabric looked thicker, coarser, with armored plates overtop. What in the world was this place?

  At first, Katharina had thought this might be similar to cotton farms in the Americas back in the day, but the fields seemed too versatile to be a production like that. And now, looking at the immense number of people inside the manor, with all the peculiar variety in their clothing, it seemed like too many people if this was just a nobleman's estate.

  Katharina poked thoughtfully at the grayish goop, which steamed faintly in the cold air, the smell reminding Katharina of cheap oatmeal. She watched as a girl across the table pinched the fabric of her leotard, adjusting the armored plate on her thigh as she swallowed her meal without looking up. Lian nudged Katharina’s bowl closer, nodding for her to eat.

  "°?? ???? ?? eat. ??'? Ω??∞Ω ?? ?? ? χ?∞Ω ??°."

  The food went down easily enough. It was better than what she had been served out in the fields, warmer, thicker, and not full of bits of husk that stuck between her teeth, but this whole breakfast scene had left Katharina with more questions than it answered. What even is this place supposed to be? Some f’ed up summer camp for slaves? Why am I here? I can’t help but fear what they’re going to have us do today.

  As she scraped the last of the grayish mash from the bowl, she felt the quiet dread of unpredictability creeping in. Everything inside the manor felt too good to be true: soft beds, clean clothes, a proper breakfast.

  The tugging started in her shoulder, a quiet, seething calling beneath the brand. Lian looked up at the same moment, eyes calm, as if she felt it too. Around them, a handful of other girls, around Katharina’s age, dressed in the same brown dresses with dusty green bodices, rose from their seats at the exact same time, moving in impulsive unison. It was like they had all been called by a silent bell that only their bodies could follow.

  They formed a line without speaking, feet rhythmically moving across the polished floors. The manor was cold in the morning, and Katharina’s fingers tugged at the edges of her sleeves for warmth as they walked, trying not to let the fear of what came next drown her.

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  They walked down a wide hallway that opened into a large, empty room. The ceiling arched high above them, and the walls were lined with tall, gleaming mirrors that reflected their small figures back at them from every angle. At the far end of the room, a low velvet sofa stood, where the tall woman dressed in black from the first evening, the one who had inspected Katharina when she first arrived, sat cross-legged with a firm expression. Her eyes moved across the girls as they entered, calm and weighing, like she was seeing straight through them to something they couldn’t hide.

  Whatever today was going to bring, it was about to begin.

  Katharina fell into line with the others, each settling before a mirror casting unapologetic reflections back at them.

  She found a dreary version of herself staring back with dull eyes. Yet again, she had to witness the husk of the person she used to be, who now stood as the only thing left.

  She couldn't stand to linger at the sad sight, and let her eyes drift to the other girls.

  They looked to be between the ages of their late teens to early twenties, with Katharina probably among the older. But it was hard to tell the true ages of girls who all looked so thin and submissive, like anything that might allude to independence had been shoved deep, hidden away, leaving only a soft, childlike innocence to gleam through the surface.

  But even with this vulgar performance, these girls were enacting to survive; they were all quite beautiful.

  So is that what I'm meant to become? Is this a place for turning people into beautiful shells of themselves?

  The woman in black had risen from the velvet sofa and was approaching with slow, deliberate steps.

  And with each step, her slender, towering figure dominated the room with a foreboding presence.

  As she passed by each girl in the line, she spoke short rhythmic sentences as if reciting something.

  "°?? ??? ???????.

  ??????? ??木χ?ナ? ????? ??????’? ???????.

  ??????? ?? ∞?? ?ψ??Φ.

  ??????? ?? ∞?? ???∞Φ.

  ??????? ?? ∞?? ??∞?.

  ??????? ???? ナ??ナΦ ??? ?????∞ ???°."

  She had passed by Katharina and now stood firmly before Lian, her chin held high, glaring down with spiteful eyes.

  "?? ???? χ?? °?? ??ナΦ ?∞ ??木??? ????,"

  The woman snarled something at Lian, pausing with an expression of disgust left on her face.

  "??? ??∞'? ???∞Φ ???? ψ????χ?Ω? ナ???? 木?? 木???."

  As the woman spoke, those next words, she raised her large, bony hand, positioning it high above Lian, ready to let it fly as soon as she had said her piece.

  The sound of skin meeting skin was sharp, and the impact sent Lian stumbling to the floor, with her cheek glowing red as blood rushed to form a bruise. But Lian did not whimper; she met the slap with a numb familiarity, accepting punishment as if it were due.

  Before Lian could get back up, the woman in black descended, looming over her like a predator ready to devour its meal. She grabbed Lian firmly around the chin, and a soft light flowed from her claw-like finger and found its way to the bruised spot on Lian's soft cheek, and within mere moments, it was as though a bruise was never there.

  "Now smile, girl."

  The woman's voice was but a whisper, yet it was deafening, and in it was that seductive power flowing with the words. Those hadn't been words Katharina understood, and yet the meaning had been undeniably clear.

  How do these people do that? It's like they are speaking with meaning.

  But before Katharina could compare the voice of the woman to the voice of the blond man from yesterday, she watched as Lian stepped forward obediently, entranced by the seductive command, and how a wonderfully soft smile formed in Lian's eyes, before her rosy lips followed with a demure curve that could warm even the coldest of hearts.

  Katinarina suddenly felt nauseated with the urge to follow Lian's example. The smile was beautiful and perfect, exactly what the lingering air of the command demanded of them, and for a sickening moment, Katharina wanted to smile just like that.

  “????°,”

  The woman now spoke to all the girls, with a satisfied expression at Lian's perfect reflection.

  “°?? ??χχ ?χχ χ???∞ ?? ???χ? χ?Φ? ????.”

  It was as if she was telling them, 'Soon this will be you.'

  She began circling the line, like a hawk observing its prey, and she would strike at any imperfection in the girl's posture. Pressing her long fingers firmly between their shoulder blades to straighten any slouch. Dishing out curt commands to make each girl conform to her perfect image.

  When she reached Katharina, she paused, assessing, before moving in close. Without a word, she hooked a finger under Katharina’s chin, forcing it higher, until her neck felt bare and exposed.

  She grabbed Katharina’s shoulders firmly, guiding them into position, then moved to her hips, tilting them to straighten her back. Everything was adjusted, even the placement of her feet, which the woman corrected with the pointed toe of her shoe, nudging them apart until they aligned with the invisible grid that seemed to exist only in the woman’s mind.

  The woman's gestures were commanding, firm, but not cruel, and as she stepped back, moving to the next girl, leaving Katharina poised, her expression the only thing missing.

  When no posture was left faltering the woman moved to stand before all the girls, back turned to them.

  She met each of their gazes in the mirror, commanding their attention, then she proceeded to demonstrate an even warmer and inviting expression than the one Lian had put on.

  Her hands gestured in soft and curved motions as she explained each minute detail, while pointing at different parts of her face, jaw, and neck. Katharina didn't fathom the explanations, but she caught on to a new word ???χ?, which could only mean to smile. And that was clearly the lesson of today.

  Finally, the woman turned to face them and gestured for the girls to start mastering the art of making an appealing smile. Katharina immediately felt the pulsing of the brand as she locked eyes with her own ugly expression.

  There was nothing to do but to start. At first, she tried a small lift of the corner of her mouth in an attempt to dull the pain emerging in her shoulder, but her dead eyes and stiff lips made for nothing short of a haunting mockery of a smile, and a searing pain flared in response, making her face contort in pain.

  How the hell are we supposed to muster a smile, when every wrong expression hurts like shit?

  Her defiant thoughts didn't help the pain in the least. And before a second attempt at a smile could be made, the woman's head snapped to stare at Katharina as though she, too, could feel the horror of Katharina's attempt, and with her long, deliberate strides, she appeared before Katharina within an instant, glowering down at her.

  "???? 木????? ??? ∞?? ???? ?? ??? ?????ψ??∞Ω ?? ???????."

  The girl beside Katharina let out a quick, breathless snicker, but it was swallowed just as quickly when the woman's hawk-eyed gaze found her direction.

  But clearly fixing Katharina's horrid face was the more immediate problem as the woman looked back at her, opening her mouth as if to say something, only to have an expression of realization followed by a pained look of resignation, as though the effort it would take to gesture her way through Katharina’s ineptness was almost too tiresome to bother with.

  Still, the woman took a step back and slowly reenacted her perfect smile, letting the expression last long enough for Katharina to take in every little pull of her face.

  With determined swiftness, she moved in close to knead Katharina's face into the proper shape. The woman's bony fingers guided each muscle with the same firmness as when she had corrected Katharina's posture, leaving nothing to chance.

  Without letting go, the woman stepped around to Katharina's side, revealing their reflection.

  Then she watched expectantly as Katharina made another attempt. It was better this time; her lips no longer resembled a pair of stiff lines drawn onto her face. But it was certainly not the desired look, which was only confirmed by the burning phantom stab as the woman sighed in disappointment.

  The woman did not speak, only repeated the demonstration with mechanical precision before turning back to Katharina. Again, her hands came up, kneading Katharina’s cheeks and jaw into position, holding them there until the muscles trembled with fatigue before letting go, expecting immediate compliance.

  Katharina tried again. And again. Each attempt met with the same silent correction or a sharp, disappointed sigh that carried more weight than any slap could have. The brand pulsed with each failure, the phantom stabs in her shoulder becoming a rhythm she began to anticipate, flinching before they came, desperate to stop them.

  At last, Katharina managed to mimic the demanded expression well enough that the brand’s searing warnings did not come.

  Finally, this shit is more painful than having to smile while working customer service.

  The woman moved on and left Katharina to practice on her own; it couldn't be long before this cruel lesson had to be over.

  And even though Katharina no longer felt the burning punishment at her sad expression, the lesson didn't seem to have an end in sight; the hours just kept dragging on. As one hour took the other, another pain presented itself, and this was not one magically inflicted, no, this was the simple pain of standing stiffly, unmoving, for hours on end as your muscles slowly tense up, feeling like they might dissolve in their own acid.

  By the time they were finally freed to have their dinner and find their quarters, Katharina’s face ached so fiercely that even blinking felt like a punishment, and her shoulders were so stiff she doubted they would ever return to their natural position.

  The evening was already late when Katharina found herself back in their new little room along with Lian. They had left the mirror room, and the exhaustion had taken hold of her, leaving her to wander about as a tired consciousness, steering a body that no longer felt like hers.

  How would a day like this have taken it out of her so much? The days in the field had much more grueling work.

  Maybe it was all the unanswered questions that had piled up, like what was up with that slap Lian had gotten? And how was it that she had been seemingly healed? Katharina already knew something weird was at play in this world; she knew it from her brand, the irrigation systems in the fields, and that seductive power some of the people seemed to be able to speak with.

  But were these things all caused by the same phenomenon? Was it magic? And how much could really be done?

  Katharina could feel her skull bursting with questions, and she looked at Lian seeking answers. And just as she was about to speak, she realized she did not have the words.

  Instead, she just found herself pointing at Lian's perfectly soft cheek, with her mouth gaping in hopeless silence.

  "You..."

  "...smile."

  Her crude pronunciation and lack of conveyance left her frustrated; she just kept pointing at Lian's cheek. "Smile.. smile."

  How do I ask her about today?

  "°?? ??∞? ?? Φ∞?? ??? ?? smile?"

  "What..?" Katharina's mind was thrashing about, back to only thinking in English. Leaving Lian to also not understand when she spoke.

  "°?? ??∞? ?? Φ∞?? ??? ?? smile?"

  Lian repeated her question again, as if this would help Katharina understand, but instead, it left her with emptiness, and she felt the tears of frustration pushing their way to the surface.

  "I don't understand."

  Lian tilted her head at Katharina's foreign language. And suddenly she couldn't hold back the tears any longer; she couldn't hold anything back any longer.

  "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

  Her sudden and uncontrollable screaming was hurting her throat, but she just couldn't stop.

  "I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AT ALL!"

  "WHAT IS HAPPENING?"

  "WHERE ARE WE?"

  "WHY AM I HERE?!"

  "I JUST... I just..."

  Her words were swallowed by her own sobbing, as she felt her last energy seeping out into hopelessness.

  Lian didn't say anything. What could she say? She just nodded in pained understanding, as she moved in closer, embracing Katharina in a comforting hug while stroking her hair to the rhythm of her sobs.

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