Trying to grapple with Alvara casually smashing his entire worldview, Felix tried to come up with something reasonable to say.
“That makes no sense. If everything is mana, then why couldn’t my grandma cast spells while we were on our homeworld? Why were we told that there was no mana on homeworlds? Why would everyone lie about it? Spokes, if we were ‘made of mana’, then what’s the point of ‘awakening’ in the first place? Also, why do you keep calling me a child? I’m an adult now, aren’t I?”
She gave him an indulgent smile that bore a striking resemblance to the look his grandmother always gave him.
“Those are all good questions. Do you remember the dome around you when you first arrived at the crossroads?”
He nodded.
“Well, strong mages are able to take control of the mana in an area around them. The guardian took control of all the mana in that area to make sure none of it interacted with you or any of the other aspirants. Homeworlds do something similar with the overseer of a homeworld taking on the responsibility. Though those planets are equipped with certain methods that make the task far easier.
“With all the mana under control on your homeworld, your grandma would have to wrestle away control of the mana so she could cast spells. If she did that, she’d immediately be banished from the planet.”
Felix guessed it made sense, but he still couldn’t see the point of it all. If it was so hard to keep the mana under control and make sure it doesn’t interact with them, why bother? If everything were made of mana, it’d be pointless anyway. He told her as much, winning him a chuckle.
“Quite impatient, aren’t we?” She asked with a raised brow.
Felix sheepishly apologised as she carried on.
“There are a few reasons you are stopped from interacting with mana, first and foremost, affinities.” Seeing the look of confusion on Felix’s face, she continued.
“Mana can take on many forms, I told you that everything is made out of mana, that means that fire is made out of mana, and so is water. But what happens when you mix the two? If they’re fundamentally the same thing, then why does the water extinguish the fire? Why does water boil away in the presence of fire?”
Felix had no idea, but thankfully, it didn’t look like she expected an answer.
“Mana isn’t simple, and you’ll have plenty of time to learn more about it later. For now, all you need to know is that even though fire mana and water mana are actually the same thing, the mana chooses to behave like they aren’t. Once mana decides to be water mana, it behaves like you’d expect water to behave.
“That brings us back to affinities, simply put, all beings are born with a natural favorability to certain types of mana. These affinities have a huge impact on Travellers and non-Travellers alike.”
“Ok, I get that, but what does any of this have to do with ‘awakening’ and why we aren’t allowed contact with mana. Also, what are my affinities? What affinity is the strongest?”
The look she gave him this time made it clear that she wouldn’t continue to suffer his interruptions.
“Sorry.” After taking a moment to make sure he was calm and then taking another sip of her tea, she answered.
“It is the nature of youth to be impatient. You asked earlier why I call you a child. To many you meet along your journey, you will still be a child even at an age measured in centuries. Some might call this the point at which you grow up, but this is merely one of many significant milestones you will pass.”
The explanation chafed, but at the same time, Felix couldn’t think of anything to refute her. Plus, he was a little scared that trying to do so would cause her to end their conversation while he still had so many questions.
The smile on her lips made it feel like she saw straight through him, but she continued anyway.
“I just told you about fire and water mana, so let me ask you this. What do you think happens to a child with a strong fire affinity born on a planet that’s chock-full of water mana? Don’t bother thinking about it, I’ll tell you, they die.
Although such an extreme case of incompatible mana types rarely happens, even less severe imbalances can still cause issues with their growth or make their path more difficult to walk later on.”
Felix’s eyes stretched wide. “So that’s why homeworlds were created? To make sure children didn’t come into contact with mana they weren’t supposed to? But why hide it? Why not just tell us that?”
This time, much to his relief, his interruption won him a nod of acknowledgement instead of another chastisement.
“Good question, humans have many different systems for raising children, using a homeworld is just one of them. Some of your peers grow up exposed to mana from the day they are born, but every system has its advantages and disadvantages. With homeworlds, granting children this knowledge ahead of time often led to events that reduced the advantages they’d otherwise experience.
"If you are curious, you can seek this knowledge later."
It seemed like overkill to remove all the knowledge of mana from their education, and her vague response didn’t really do much to help him understand why they would do what they did. Felix made a mental note to look up the other systems and their respective advantages and disadvantages later. There was probably a lot more to the story that Alvara just didn’t want to take the time to explain right now.
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Felix was still having trouble coming to grips with the idea that everything was made of mana. So it probably wasn't a good idea to get bogged down in the details of what was starting to sound like a more advanced sociology class.
That still brought him back to the question of why ‘awaken’ them? After all, it’s not like the problem of their affinities not being compatible with their environment would go away.
She genuinely looked surprised when Felix brought it up this time. Clearly, this was a level of insightfulness she wasn’t expecting from him.
“The answer to your question can be found in where you are right now.”
“You mean the crossroads? Is there something special about it?”
“Exactly right, the entire crossroads is closed off, and the mana in here is kept in a perfect balance. It’s a neutral place that can provide your body with whatever it needs as it rapidly develops over the coming year.
Although we refer to the experience you just went through as ‘awakening’, the truth is your body will continue to develop over the next months. In this environment, we can ensure it grows as well as it possibly could. That’s probably the second greatest advantage of coming to a crossroad from a homeworld.”
Felix was pleasantly surprised. He’d already noticed a few differences after going through awakening. His mind and senses felt sharper, and he recovered his energy faster. He’d chalked it up to the tea, but hearing that this would be his new normal was great. From what she was saying, it would only get better over the course of the year. He couldn’t imagine how much better it would be if he spent a few more months here.
“Since you understand that point, then you should also understand how important the spell I gave you is, once you read it.”
“Wait, you never mentioned what the greatest advantage of homeworlds is.”
“Find the answer on your own. It shouldn’t be hard.”
Felix tried asking about the spell, but it was brushed off along with any more questions on the topic.
“It would be a waste to spend the rest of the little time you have with a guide discussing these things. For now, we should focus on you. You already have the information on the spell, curb your enthusiasm, and let's move on. I’m sure you will be no less excited about the other topics I hope to cover.
“I haven’t even touched on your affinities yet.”
At this, Felix perked up. He’d almost forgotten that he now had affinities and that they were somehow unique. Well, ok, maybe ‘almost’ was doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, but with so many topics he’d been excited to learn about now available to him, he had trouble choosing what to focus on.
“Felix, I should tell you that your path will likely not be what you were expecting. But first, tell me what you were aiming for before you stepped onto the Ways, and I shall do my best to guide you. If you want to be a Traveller, we’ll have a lot to discuss.”
Wondering if he’d have to undergo some unique training due to his special affinities, Felix jumped right in. He wanted to learn about his special talent so much that he didn’t pick up on the implication of her words.
He quickly started telling her how he wanted to be a knight. As soon as he started, nothing else mattered. He forgot their previous conversation, forgot all about his fatigue.
He quickly started telling her about Claire, how proud he was of her, and how cool she was. He explained how she’d show them moves after he and Lara begged her. He told her about their favourite spot to practice and the tree they used to keep score.
He explained how he’d read stories of adventure and exploration growing up. He told her about the adventures he would go on with Lara as soon as they passed the trial.
“We’re going to be Explorers! We want to save up enough to buy our own small ship! We want to help our parents fight off pirates, then follow them back to their base. If we do it enough, we’ll be able to find a treasure map! It might take us to the Continent, or maybe the Feywilds!”
“It might be hard, but we can do it! You haven’t seen Lara’s razor slash! I think Claire helped her figure it out so she could get ahead of me on the scoreboard. I’m still two points behind. It took me weeks to think of a counter!”
When he started his explanation, he was filled with so much excitement and passion, but the longer he spoke, the more he noticed Alvara’s silence. The more he noticed the look on her face.
‘Why isn’t she excited? Why is she looking at me like that? Is she sad? Say something. Please say something!’
He shook his head. That couldn’t be right. It had to be something else. There was some other reason. He was going to be a knight.
Feeling desperate, he kept regaling her with stories. He told her about how he’d sparred with Claire, how his grandmother thought mages were cool, but that she was wrong. How all the heroes in his favourite stories were knights. That he would be a knight.
‘She doesn’t understand, why doesn’t she understand? Why won’t she say something? She needs to understand how much I want to be a knight. If she knew how much it meant to me, to Lara, then— then she wouldn’t look at me like that.’
He told her how some of his classmates didn’t want to be Travellers, but he did, he really did. He wanted nothing more than to be a knight.
He even told her how Grandma and Lara caught him when he got too excited and lost himself in his daydreams, not realizing he was talking out loud. He told her how embarrassed he was, but that it didn’t matter because he would do it. He’d really become a great knight, and then they’d all laugh about it together.
It’s only when a gentle hand landed on his own that he noticed the wetness on his cheeks.
“Why am I crying? I– I’m happy, I’m finally going to be a knight.” He tried to force a smile, tried to force out a laugh. It was so absurd. Why would he cry? He couldn’t laugh. Every time he tried, a sob would rack his frame.
In the back of his mind, he remembered, Grandma had warned them, she’d always tried telling them how cool mages were.
‘But that isn’t right. Grandma is a mage. She just wants us to be like her. Why does it hurt?’
Holding on to his last thread of hope, he tried to remind her. She had to know, to understand.
“But you said I finished faster than anyone, you said I finished my journey with ‘record-breaking speed’! I— I’m going to be a knight! Please. I’m going to be a knight. Please...”
Alvara moved next to him and gave him a hug.
“I’m sorry, Felix. To follow the path of a martial artist, you need to draw mana into your body and then train to make it a part of you. The more mana you draw in, the more you learn to understand it, the more you understand it, the more you can draw in. The reason your first journey ended so soon is that you have two very special affinities.
“You have incredibly pure affinities for life and mind mana. Both are esoteric affinities. That’s mana that doesn’t interact with your body in the normal way. You can’t draw them in from your surroundings or make them a part of yourself.
“Felix, there’s no way you can ever walk a martial path, or even a mixed path. Even walking the path of a magi will be gruelling, more difficult than most people could bear. In all honesty, I was hoping that you weren’t aiming to be a Traveller.”
“I’m sorry, Felix, you’ll never be a knight, it just isn’t possible.”
by D. N. Newyn
All Severa Montreal ever wanted was to become the greatest dungeoneer alive. Instead, she got to manage other dungeoneers.
a bit of a spoiled brat. How dare she demand respect when she was only the youngest prodigy in the history of the Synod of Thaumaturgic Studies and the youngest ever to solo a Tier II dungeon?
other dungeoneers as well. Complete, moronic beginners. She would have to face her worst enemy: socializing. But if tolerating other people was what it would take to become the best dungeoneer manager, so be it.
