I ignored her and kept walking, almost ready to either run away or shove my pursuer to the ground. “For the last time, I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“What?!” exclaimed the girl behind me. “I’m not asking you out on a date!”
Hearing that surprised me, so I turned around and faced the tenth person who stopped me today. My un-admirer—if that was even a word—was that esper who’d somehow got one over the cultivator. I’d forgotten her name but I would never forget the match. Wasn’t much of one. No matter how great of a close combatant you were, any esper worth their salt could drop you before you took ten steps.
Especially with an esper with twelve [Pylons] under her command. Despite the stupid expression on her face, she was scarily powerful despite having a low [Slayer Rank]. Without using specific anti-psionic measures, trying to incap an esper was like trying to catch lightning in a bottle.
“Why did you think I was asking you out?” asked the esper, uneasily fiddling with a few buttons on her jacket.
“Because a quarter of the girls in your grade-level decided I was boyfriend-material.”
“What, really—? Wait, that’s not the point! You’re Alex, right? Alexander Shen? I’m, uh, I’m Kotone. Kotone Okano. Y’know, the esper whose name rolls off like honey—”
“The esper who humbled that bitch.”
Okano slid a hand to her hip. “Don’t call her that.”
“Li Chunhua thinks literally everyone is after their pound of flesh. She’s paranoid and picks a fight with everybody.” I stopped and thought about what I said. “I realize I basically described myself, but my point stands.”
“I’m gonna pretend I know you well enough.” Okano sighed and scratched the back of her messy set of hair. “Look, I just wanna invite you to karaoke.”
I looked at myself, skimming over the scars over my arms and hands. “Really? You know me well enough that you think I’m a good singer?”
“That doesn’t matter! The whole point of karaoke is singing terribly—” (“Still.”) “—you don’t have to come, but uh… Well, it’d be really nice if you did. I’m sorta on a mission from Professor Jeon.”
“Uh huh.” Okay, things were starting to make sense. As outgoing as this girl was, she didn’t seem like the kind of gal who would invite a random stranger to karaoke, let alone approaching someone outside her close-knit and exclusive program.
Okano inhaled and explained, “Jeon’s trying to break Li Chunhua’s shell. I don’t know why she assigned me to the case. All I can think of is karaoke! I dunno if cultivators have karaoke bars in the Jianghu, but it’ll be an...experience.”
“Will Chunhua even be there?”
“Yeah, not because she wants to. Professor Jeon had to use the ‘or else’ card. Right now, it’s me, her, and the healer you met during our spar, Victor Taslim.”
Knowing Professor Jeon, she must’ve advised Okano to seek me out. In the Jianghu, respect was almost always earned through power and authority; beating a cultivator in a spar was an easy way to gain that respect. Hence, Okano was in-charge of befriending Li Chunhua and enticing my company. The odd one out was Victor Taslim, a battle healer or whatever he was, but those specialties were universally loved no matter where you looked.
But respect didn’t mean friendship.
It’d take more than karaoke to pull the cultivator out of the Jianghu.
Plus, it wasn’t my problem. It wasn’t my job to assimilate a foreigner into an environment they were explicitly raised to hate.
“Well.” I clapped. “Good luck with that. I’m not interested in badly singing pop songs—”
“Connections!” Okano blurted out before I could finish rejecting her. “Professor Jeon knew you’d turn me down, so she’s willing to offer her connections !”
…Shit, my biggest weakness.
“One hour,” I said. “I’m staying there for one hour, and I’m leaving after that.”
Okano drooped her arms and shoulders. “Yay…”
Little did I know, though, that this would be the start of Ordo University’s worst friend-group to date. A friend-group that was destined to disrupt the current order of the world, and it wasn’t because a certain asshole happened to be the relative of Shui Yuan. It was because they were four of the most destructive, stupidest, and overall demented people on the planet.
We had too many problems. Our personalities didn’t mesh whatsoever. Yet despite everything, here we were. Three years later, each of us had grown and in some ways regressed. But I was trying to see the light in things, now. You know, aspire to be an optimist and not an eternal, heartlessly rational cynic.
Most of all, I wanted to be a good friend and a decent person, wishing to see these stupid idiots become the best version of themselves.
***
The Special Task Force was populated with heirs, prodigies, and geniuses, but even an SSS-Rank [Skill] couldn’t mend a broken heart. All I could do was knock on the door of the girl who’d brought us together. Vic had said he heard stirring and maybe tears on the other side, and despite his advice to leave her be, I decided against it. Although no one was in the halls to watch me, I still sensed their gazes piercing through the walls.
I knocked. No response.
I knocked again. No response.
One more time. Nothing.
“I’m coming in whether you like it or not,” I announced.
“Three.” I grabbed the doorknob. It was unlocked.
“Two.” The knob rotated.
“And one.” The door opened.
I invaded her sanctum, making sure the door was shut behind me so our conversation wouldn’t leak into the halls. Her room had seen better days. Sure, she wasn’t the cleanest or neatest person—I’d always got on her ass to tidy things up—but she was living like a bat. The lights were off, towers of empty cup-noodles were stacked on her desk, and clothes were littering the floor and covering a cheap department store rug. And at the opposite side of the room was a dark, human-shaped object wrapped in a blanket.
She had her back toward me, deciding a wall was better-looking than me. I agreed.
“Your room’s cleaner than usual,” I said, making my sarcasm more than obvious.
The blanket’s shoulders jumped like they were lips. “Get out.” Her demand was more of a plea as her breakdown from earlier had sapped her energy. Barely anything was left inside.
“After I get through my spiel. You’ll have to hear my annoying-ass voice for a few minutes.” I pulled her desk-chair out, the wheels rolling over an old shirt, and sat down. My weight sank the chair a couple centimeters, the whole thing creaking like an old man’s back.
“I don’t wanna talk,” she said, voice muffled. “Leave me alone.”
I took notice of her decorated, stickered-up acoustic guitar sitting in the corner of the room. “You’re depressed, I’m slightly less depressed, so let’s start a band. You’ll be the main vocalist, Chie will rock the drums, Rei can handle the bass, and I’ll take the cow-bell. Everyone else can be our groupies.”
The blanket shifted again, and I heard something from her. A laugh? A tear? Anyone’s guess.
Huddling closer to the wall, she insisted, “You can’t cheer me up like last time. Unless you wanna give me some melatonin so I can finally get some sleep. Or knock me out again so my brain can finally stop talking.”
I scooted forward in her chair, half of the wheels on the floor and the other half still on her shirt. “I’ll do you one better: together, we can pray that tomorrow never comes around.”
“Would you actually give me that?” she asked, hope in her weak words.
“You know it never comes true no matter how much melatonin you take.”
Kotone scoffed and shrunk even more, becoming a tightly wrapped ball of numbness. “I’m not like you, Alex. I can’t overcome my demons like you had.”
I laughed. “You think that?”
“Hangzhou,” she said one word and hung her head lower, expecting me to blow up. I didn’t. Back then, that word would’ve put several people in the hospital and me in handcuffs. Maybe she wanted me to get angry, but I’d never. Not at her. Not at anyone in our team.
“You’re wrong.” I inched, rolling completely off her shirt. “I nearly put my life in God’s hands a few months ago, Kotone. You were there, remember?”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“The Alternates…?” she guessed.
“I thought they were my punishment. That I deserved to be murked by my parents for being a terrible son, for thinking I could have a normal life, and whatever fictions I’d told myself.”
“Until we rescued you.” Kotone sniffled. “I know where you’re going with this. You got back up because of us, your friends. But the thing is, Alex… It’s not that I don’t have the strength to stand. I don’t have legs at all.”
Stubborn, wasn’t she? It was like looking into a mirror. Just a more isolated, secluded mirror whose arms weren’t as tragically decorated as mine.
“And because you nearly caused a city-wide blackout, you think you’re a freak. Because you forced Chunhua’s hand, you think she hates you forever. A part of you is considering your brother’s offer, thinking you ‘proved his point.’”
Kotone didn’t answer and kept her head down.
“Like I said, we really should start a band—“
“So what?” she spat, verbally pushing me away. “Why does any of this matter? It doesn’t change the fact that I’m useless to the team. I’m dead weight. Without my [Psionic Pylons], I’m nothing.”
“Well...” I patted my phone, knowing Leo hadn’t texted yet. “I wanted to save this surprise for the end, but I’ll tell you now: Sophos will personally handle your new sig. It’ll be better than what Tokei had cooked up for you, that’s for sure.”
She didn’t visibly react. No excitement or anger. I expected that much.
“Morgan and Leo are talking with her. It didn’t take much convincing. Sophos was more than enthusiastic to get her hands on an esper.” This meant less time with me, given I didn’t have any more episodes. Good, but this wasn’t about me today.
“It’ll be—“
“Wasted effort. Why would they spend their time on you?”
Although I couldn’t see it, Kotone definitely clenched her teeth. Best friends finished each other’s sentences, and best friends who finish each other’s sentences also annoyed each other.
She growled, “Stop that. Just… I don’t know! Just say your motivational quote and leave me alone! Pretend I’m not here and go back to living a perfect life—!”
“What do you want, Kotone?” I asked sharply.
She refused to answer.
“You want to feel ‘normal’ again?” Nothing.
“Prove your brother wrong?” Nothing.
“Or maybe eat some of Chie’s homemade cookies and mochi?“ And nothing.
“Do you want a reason to believe that tomorrow won’t suck? Honestly, it probably will. You think you're a weirdo? That's fine. We know a dozen weirder. Do you... Do you believe life itself hates you? Because you might be right. We're all victims somehow. Nobody's guaranteed happiness in this world, but tomorrow will come whether we like it or not. Everyday is our choice, Kotone, and at least we aren't alone."
Kotone couldn’t find her answer. Not right now. For me, I thought I had mine until I was proven horribly wrong; however, it worked out after spilling a few gallons of blood. Yet for Kotone, I couldn’t simply slip inside her shoes. Her demons were different from mine, but I was hoping for the best. Maybe she could find her own enlightenment while singing a song or being on the brink of death like me. I was joking, obviously, but however she walked the path laid out, I would support her.
As long as it meant she'd stay in Ordo.
For now, I think I exhausted my options. If I pushed any further, I’d be stomping over her toes. Thus, I said my final piece, “Whatever you want or decide, we’ll be there. Doesn’t matter what, just as long as it gets you past the door. We’re all outside waiting, and fair warning, some of them are huggers. Just no more phone-bombs, alright?”
I stood, carefully stepping over her mess—
“Wait,” a voice stopped me.
I turned around, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling. “What’s up?”
Kotone had her head turned. Not fully, but enough that I saw her thin black hair. “I… I really hate you, Alex.”
“Who doesn’t at this point?”
She went back to staring at the wall. “You’re everything I wanna be: cool, smart, tough. You say whatever’s on your mind. You aren’t afraid of anything. You get all the girls! Even if you fail, you always find a way out. I can’t compete with that.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about—”
“But it’s not fair. You’re supposed to say stupid, superficial stuff so I can be mad at you. ‘Stop joking around, Kotone!’ ‘It’s all in your head, Kotone!’ ‘Can you grow up for once, Kotone?!’ I…” She gasped for air after her sudden outburst. “I don’t want a tomorrow like you, Alex. I wanna disappear. I wanna melt into my mattress and never see the sun again.”
“And that’s alright,” I said. Without asking, I sat against her bed and faced the still door. “No one will blame you for feeling that way. Hell, half of them probably relate. I do. I told you before, our team’s funding every clinical psychologist in the city.”
“I don’t wanna face ‘em. The team.”
“Unfortunately for you, your adoring fans need their daily dose of Kotone soon. For right now, though, we can be alone and miserable together in your dark, sunless room. Or you can kick me out and continue to stare at the wall.”
Kotone didn’t immediately bite at my offer, though I could tell she was thinking about it. However, after what felt like a minute or two, a bundle of blankets shuffled off her bed and plopped next to me. I caught a glimpse of the woman underneath, and she didn't look that great. What else did I expect? It was bad enough that Chunhua would get a heart attack then subsequently force-feed her ten thousand calories.
I kept my eyes ahead out of respect. “Welcome to rock-bottom.”
“Be quiet…” Kotone tucked her shroud tighter. “I’m planning on locking myself inside until everyone leaves.”
“We’ll see what happens.” In other words, nope. Kotone could be stubborn at times, but the rest of our team saw stubbornness as a competition. Knowing Chie and Rei, they’d grab their sleeping bags and stay the night.
Kotone brought her knees closer to her face. “I don’t feel like facing 'em right now.”
“Then don’t. We have time.”
“Are you really gonna stay here ‘til then?”
“I don’t have anything better to do. Plus, I need a distraction after losing my identity for seven minutes yesterday.”
“Oh, right.” Kotone placed her chin on her knees. “I forgot that happened.”
“Mhm.”
Kotone became silent, I became silent, we were both silent. A certain someone had problems with a soundless world, and considering she trapped herself in her room with no music playing, she had created a personal, auditory hell.
Thus, I broke the silence before it could go on for too long, “Let’s talk about something. Anything. Hearing my own labored breaths is making me go crazy.”
“You’re trying to make me feel better, aren’t you?” From the corner of my eyes, a flicker of blue shone through a stringy curtain of black hair. “We don’t have to talk. I…kinda like this. Just sitting here, quietly, listening to each other’s breaths. It’s like a metronome. It keeps you focused on now.”
I smiled, and I made sure she saw that. “You sure? I can ask Chunhua to take my place—”
“Who said anything about her?!” Kotone exclaimed, sounding a little bit like her usual self, and there was a noticeable red rash coloring her pale and sickly skin. After realizing her blunder, she shrank further into a microscopic ball. “I mean, I don’t wanna play favorites but—”
“It’s obvious, Kotone.”
The rash got worse. “What? I-I thought I was—”
“Two years ago, you got really drunk and we were alone for five minutes. In that five minutes, you ranted about how I was ‘stealing every girl in Systemic Works’ and complained that you and Vic had to ‘fight over the same pool.’”
Kotone was shivering like a whistling tea-pot about to blow. “I-I changed my mind. Please get out—”
I laughed right in her face like the asshole I was. “I think everybody either already knows or has a feeling. Everybody except for Chunhua.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Thanks!” Kotone inhaled a few times, her breaths nothing like a metronome. Slowly, her skin returned to its original color. “I… I don’t want Chunhua here, anyway. Out of everyone, I’m glad it was you who knocked.”
“You’re the one who stopped me from leaving.”
“Yeah. I guess so.” Kotone scooted closer, and at first I was confused about her intentions, but they were benign. All she did was rest her head on my shoulder and let her breathing slow down into a steady, drum-like rhythm.
I did the same for my own breathing as we both admired the dark, shadowed door on the other side of the room. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world and the poor girl was in need of a shower, but neither of those things mattered. As long as she was relaxed and counting the breaths we took, I was more than happy to be a statue.
I stopped thinking about time and let my mind wander to wonderland.
Until I heard Kotone’s voice again.
“Alex.”
I hummed in response.
“About what you asked earlier,” she led. “About what I wanna do. I should give you a better answer than the depressing one I gave, so uh, before I [Registered]...
“I always wanted to be a musician.”
[A new Memento forms…]
*
Chord/Discord
Rank C-
Holder: Okano Kotone
Memento Type: Psionic Field
Description: The [Memento] of the esper who’s fond of music, taking the form of a psionic field around your body. You’re both away from your home country having suffered from the same pains, and despite your pleas, the world keeps turning. At least you’re both turning together, knowing comfort in each other’s presence.
Special Effect: [Chord/Discord] possesses a natural repulsion force. You are able to manipulate the field’s shape and form, but the field itself cannot be disconnected from your physical body.
*
Okano Tsukasa bowed a nearly perfect ninety-degrees, his lips stiff from both humiliation and frustration.
Tokei Akimitsu (時計 右光) pushed his glasses squarely onto the bridge of his nose and folded his muscled hands together, his expression unreadable even to the most experienced gamblers.
Tsukasa gritted his teeth. To think my sister had made such valuable connections during her time in Ordo.
[Complete: Episode 2 - Psionic Blues]
[Next: Episode 3 - Prove Yourself! The Battle of the Wings!]