“You’ve gotten rather quiet these past few ‘days.’ What’s on your mind?”
After hearing the question, Orion quickly gathered his thoughts, then sighed and said.
“I think I’ll have to go on a diet.”
“Oh? The princess is gonna watch her figure?”
“I think the meat of the beasts I eat is influencing me somehow.”
Neru looked at him in silence, and after a while asked.
“Any explanations? What do you mean by ‘influencing’? I don’t see any unusual changes in you.”
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve taken care of my state of mind. I always wanted to approach life in a conscious and thoughtful way. I also never understood people who allowed; or even willingly sought out; the degenerative effect of various substances. Alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. Mind-numbing entertainment, unhealthy habits, or even plain passivity. All of these things affect the brain in different ways, but the result is that decisions are made which, under other circumstances, shouldn’t even be considered. Hell, even things like coffee, tea, or any kind of energy drinks, were always on my ‘OK, but consume in moderation’ list.”
“Ugh, OK? So?”
Orion looked tiredly at Neru, then continued his explanation.
“I reached a state where every thought that appeared in my head made sense. I knew where it came from, what it meant, and so on. Of course, I still had intrusive thoughts, but they had no impact, as if they were meant to be some kind of internal joke or something like that when they were created.” he said, summing up. “That’s changed. For some time now, I’ve been having thoughts that don’t make sense. They feel like they don’t belong to me.”
“I guess I have a feelin’, where you’re goin’ with this. You’ve been through some shit, Ori. It’s normal for things like that to leave you with some… marks.”
“I doubt that’s the case. You mentioned that while watching my dreams, you could experience my feelings, but couldn’t see the thoughts.” Orion said, receiving a nod. “ While I was ‘there’, I was desperately trying to maintain my way of thinking and my mental clarity. They were injecting me with various shitty substances, so I didn’t have control over everything in my head, but throughout all of this, I kept track of my thoughts. I was doing internal mental tests, forcing myself to remember who I am and what’s important. Of course, after all of this, some of my reactions or mannerisms have changed, but honestly, I don’t pay much attention to them. What hasn’t changed is my reasoning. Until now.”
He took a moment to arrange a few of the following sentences in his mind, then continued.
“Trying to fight the ‘bulb,’ I wanted to extend my arms to appear larger. This wasn’t my own thought, and despite how senseless it was, I wanted to do it. The creature was already reaching my knees; would a threatening stance change a damn thing? Reaching back with my thoughts, I noticed other things I’d been pushing away. The urge to charge blindly at creatures, the urge to play with my prey, the urge to chase non-aggressive beings. There was a time when I wanted to make an attack with my tail.” he sighed heavily and asked. “I guess you understand why this is so terrifying to me?”
“Honestly, I think some of the beastly mindset wouldn’t hurt ya. The world outside is goin’ through some kind of change, and you’re far too soft. But yes. That doesn’t change the fact that I think I understand. I’ll remind you, though, that you’re talkin’ to a bein’ raised on other’s dreams. Although it takes some time, I can tell you from experience that such things can be tamed. From what you’ve said, you’ve managed to do it with your own thoughts. What are the thoughts of some stupid beasts compared to this.” Neru said, finishing with a comical wiggle of his eyebrows.
Although Orion was irritated the moment his friend began to speak, with each word he spoke, he realized that Neru was right. He instinctively began to panic, afraid that he was ceasing to be himself. He was afraid that his thought process would be affected by foreign factors, doing exactly what he had feared for most of his life. This time it wouldn’t even be random thoughts triggered by the influence of some substance, but the thoughts of actual, aggressive beasts and bloodthirsty monsters. However, after Neru spoke, he realized that this was just another obstacle to overcome.
He would have to fight it, but if he wins, he will become stronger. Even if it was simply a stronger psyche, in his opinion it was worth a try. He probably wouldn’t have considered such a thing when faced with such a choice before he was kidnapped. This time, however, he was in a place where he couldn’t hurt anyone with his actions. Neru would definitely be able to pacify him if he started going crazy, and by warning him beforehand, he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting him with words.
Orion realized that instead of a tragedy, this was an opportunity of sorts. In this strange place, he had a dear friend with him and the person who could be the best mentor in the universe when it came to mastering the foreign elements in his own mind. He had noticed this before, but it was only now that it really hit him that whenever Neru mocked him or called him names, it always somehow lifted his spirits. He was slowly approaching his fourth month here, and they had many close discussions, casual conversations, and silly jokes. They’d even had a few arguments, but no matter what the conversation was, it always ended with him leaving feeling lighter. He looked at him and smiled gratefully.
“Thanks, mate. As usual, you show up with sirens blaring and save the day.”
“Doctor Neru, at your service.”
“I think you’re right. I need to get stronger not only physically but also mentally. In case something happens… will you help me with that?”
“And I thought you weren’t goin’ to ask.” Neru said, spinning in the air.
Orion took a deep breath to clear away the last of the panic that had been building for days. Then he exhaled and pulled a piece of meat from the sack. He took another breath and dug into it.
***
“Damn, imagine meeting a group like that in the wild. We’d be dead in seconds. Assuming, of course, they don’t want to play with us before they kill us.” said the automaton, pleased with his results, putting his crossbow away. He was a combination of wooden and iron elements, which, with his short but stocky figure, gave him a rather menacing appearance. He was wearing medieval leather armor, with metal parts protecting his chest, arms, and head.
“Even protected in a normal building, we’d be quickly knocked out. A hell of a job, bro.” said another one, turning to the man behind them and nodding his head in approval. This automaton was about the height of an ordinary man, but its elongated face looked more like a reptile. He was also made of wood, but it was unnaturally dark, with even darker streaks moving along it, making it appear to be behind a dark smoke screen.
The man to whom the compliment was addressed nodded in return and said. “I’m just glad I don’t have to fight by myself anymore, even though it’s probably only temporary. I have to admit, it’s a relief to have someone to talk to again. Now it’s time to check out the loot. Maybe this time we’ll get something interesting besides scrap and bland meat.”
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“No worries, we’ll take care of this; you can go back to work.” The reptilian automaton said, causing his stocky colleague to groan.
“Thanks.” Arthur said. “I can’t wait to see what the current degradation problem looks like.”
He practically ran to the set-aside crossbow and immediately began to focus on checking its current condition. This one had fired over sixty bolts and showed significant weakening of its effect and structural degradation. It was, however, a vast improvement over his previous creations. It could be fired a few more times and then continue to be used as a regular, unenchanted item, whereas the previous batch had completely shattered after the fortieth shot. Using stronger material would temporarily solve the problem, but it’s not a long-term solution. It would impede the draw and flow of mana. Besides, it’s impossible to find more durable materials every time. I have to somehow make it so that the mana won’t corrode it so deeply during activation. But how? He thought, muttering to himself.
Arthur, upon seeing his recently acquired skill, discovered that the energy that allowed for the entire enchantment effect was indeed mana. Although he saw it in his status window, he didn’t know if he was simply using it to inject some other type of energy or if it was the mana itself that was responsible for the effect. Ever since he had thought of initiating the process without using a system skill, he couldn’t get it out of his head. He had spent a stupid amount of hours simply aiming his free hand at the items being created and trying to somehow release a stream of that strange energy. When that didn’t work, by triggering the infusion skill, he tried to influence it, intensifying or weakening the energy draw. Finally, after much effort and hundreds of attempts, he barely managed to disrupt the process. Although by doing so he had only wasted the material and ruined the item, the system had rewarded him with his fourth skill anyway.
[Skill: [C] Minor Mana Control [Level 1 (0.2%)]
Description: Allows you to control mana. Passive skill.]
Seeing the skill, he was a bit surprised by its low rarity and minimal level of development. Asking the automatons about it, he was told that although not everyone had it, it was still a very common skill that people striving to develop themselves would eventually acquire. He also learned that as you leveled up, you could slowly start to feel both the natural energies surrounding you and those inside your body. So it seemed that he had simply rushed it a bit, but he was still pleased with his discovery.
Apart from his common skills of Improved Craft and Quick Repair, only the Minor Enchantment skill was of an uncommon rarity. Thinking about it, he came to the conclusion that improving craftsmanship and the ability to partially but quickly repair an item could be extremely useful in most cases of crafting professions. However, creating an immediately infused item was apparently no longer as common, but of course, still far from rare. Testing his new skill, he noticed that he could indeed slightly influence the stream of energy emerging from him and could even feel what it looked like a bit more precisely. After testing it, he noticed a small additional loss of his energy, and after playing with the skill for a while, he felt a headache. It was only when he stopped that he realized how tired he was. In his state of complete concentration, he didn’t pay attention to how long he had been trying to influence the effect.
He learned that the mere ability to control the energy expended did not necessarily mean a positive effect on the result; on the contrary, it was easy to break the item. Although he had no idea how and what the energy flowing out of him did, after many attempts, he finally managed to slightly increase the amount of mana flowing out of his hand. Evenly increasing the amount of energy throughout the stream didn’t work, so he focused on individual streaks. Finally, hitting the right intensity and a specific part of the energy, he improved the enchantment effect, obtaining a ‘+’ sign next to the effect in the object’s status. His initial test objects were shields and minor fire resistance, but after getting a few successes, he decided to test it on other items. He chose to try to increase the effect of the sword’s sharpness, and quickly realized that it would not be that easy. This time, the energy flowing out of his hand looked wholly different, and he had to find the right intensities and parts of the process that he should be strengthening again. If it weren’t for the abundance of junk items he’d gotten from goblin corpses, he couldn’t afford to do such tests.
It was late at night. He had been in this tutorial for sixty-four days. Although the time rich in constant tests and experiments passed incredibly quickly, he was glad that now he was assigned automatons with whom he could talk. It had been quite a strange experience when they first appeared. They behaved as if they had always been there and had known him for a long time. If not for the message in the quest window, he would probably have been afraid that it was some enemy invasion.
The automatons appeared on the thirtieth day of the tutorial, when he was slowly reaching the limits of his abilities in defending his property. Just as they said, he knew what a huge difference it was to face a group of monsters prepared and on the defensive and to try to hunt them in the wild. If it weren’t for the possibility of preparing and building traps, he would probably be dead on the first day. The increasing number and level of enemies meant that risky situations were more and more frequent, but after the appearance of automatons, he could feel safe in his home again.
Taking a moment to pause from pondering how to improve the enchantment effect, he thought about his progress and what might lie ahead. A shiver ran down his spine as an idea came to him. It was quite possible that eventually he would come to a point where he’d have to lead the attack on the monster camp. The thought of standing with his crafted items in front of the enemy’s palisade, defending himself from incoming arrows and avoiding traps, troubled him.
He took the second crossbow with him and went down to the basement where he had his workshop. He had no time to speculate. It was time for progress, and only time would tell whose creations were better.
***
“Damn Ori, how do you do it? You’ve stuffed almost all of that chimp-wasp meat into you, and I can’t even see a belly stickin’ out. Do you have some other dimension there?”
“Shut the fuck up! Or I’ll eat your corpse too!” Orion shouted furiously, then growled, almost foaming at the mouth, which after a moment turned into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. The last opponent he faced was also quite specific. Most of his body resembled a hairless monkey, with muscular limbs. However, in place of the head, there was something looking like a beehive, from which insect-like creatures flew out now and then, creating more enemies to fight. These did not have ordinary stingers but something similar to drills sticking out of their heads, and attacking Orion, they tried to screw themselves under his skin. The main opponent released a dozen or so insects in waves, each time making strange choking sounds. It was quite an irritating opponent, and in order to kill it, Orion had to endure a lot of pain, accompanying the sting wounds.
After defeating the creature, Orion quickly began eating its flesh, losing control. This time, he allowed aggressive thoughts to fill his head and held them in. It took him a while to realize what he had said and how he had behaved. Immediately after that, he wanted to apologize for his antics but was stopped by Neru’s laughter.
“What, the princess is gonna cry now? You handled it pretty fast this time. You even stayed on two legs; I see significant progress.”
They’ve been experimenting for a dozen days. Orion had stopped minimizing his consumption, eating beasts only for food, and had begun to force himself on the meat of various creatures. There were a lot more of them here than when he entered the ash dune. It was already the one hundred and thirty-eighth day of his stay, and along the way the terrain had changed again. The ground had changed to resemble rock, with many larger boulders and burrows in sight. Although it was incredibly slow, Orion noticed that the larger rocks in this place looked like they were pulsating. He didn’t even want to imagine what the section they were on might actually be to this planetary beast.
After several experiments, Orion was sure that his thoughts were influenced by what he ate. At first, he was instinctively afraid of the influence. Over time, his exercises began to show the effects, but at the start it was not very rosy. At the beginning, they came to the conclusion that the more often he ate the beast’s meat, the faster and greater the influence it had on him. After killing his first creature, he didn’t experience these thoughts at all. Then, after Martha’s death, his state of mind was exceptionally heavy. He was devastated by the loss of his friend, his first kill, and finally began to heal from his experiences. They concluded that this cluster of thoughts somehow blocked the intrusion of the monster’s thoughts. However, each time he ate the beast, the thoughts appeared faster and were more intense. They also wondered why Orion didn’t feel any effects after eating the hyena-like creatures that Neru had finished off, saving his life the first time.
Orion speculated that perhaps they did have some sort of collective mind, given their oddly coordinated movements, and it was possible that he wouldn’t even recognize their thoughts. Neru, however, added the possibility that maybe who the killer was played a role.
Then they considered working on this negative influence. At its peak, Orion growled and began to move on all fours, trying to attack his friend. When he overcame this, he was so filled with guilt that he wanted to separate himself from Neru, but he dismissed him with his standard set of insults and jokes, and the incident became his favorite tool for mocking. After another feast, Orion tried to control himself as much as possible, which ended in threats and nervous gestures, but without any attacks. Attempt by attempt, he gradually gained control over himself and meticulously marked each such thought in his head as foreign.
“I agree, but there’s still a reaction that I can’t stop at first. And I see an intense influx in worse moments, like during a tougher fight. I still have some work to do on that.”
Before he got an answer, he noticed that Neru had stopped in midair, motionless. He had a rather ambiguous expression on his face, so Orion gave him a moment.
“I saw you.” he said.
Orion’s face took on a confused expression, but then his eyebrows quickly shot up. Before he asked, Neru continued.
“It was just a little piece - a shard. A small and distorted fragment, but I saw you in someone else’s dream. I don’t know who it is, but it looks like someone you know.”
