The camera caught Boulder’s glistening muscles as he stepped on a dandelion that happened to be a mimic. It squealed in pain, catching Lucille’s attention. The two assistants began to frantically narrate everything to their boss.

  The windmill undulated, revealing thousands of small black beady eyes all focused on Boulder. He froze mid-stride and looked up.

  Keylynn brought the headset to her ear and heard him say, “Should have taught that one how to not get stepped on.” He wiped the boot against the ground. “Well, The Boulder just found his target.” He grinned at a camera.

  Lucille screeched loudly in rage.

  Boulder’s face drained of colour as the windmill split down the centre, opening her massive maw. Each side of the windmill was lined with hundreds of teeth. Glistening in the man’s oiled muscles were the reflections of Lucille’s teeth.

  “Oh, he’s freezing.” Ragna stated, leaning closer to the monitor.

  “Think Boulder or else your lunch,” Tsunami muttered, his eyes focused on the mimic and her massive purple tongue dripping with saliva.

  “Mimics aren’t like dinosaurs. They can see you even if you aren’t moving,” Inferno added.

  Keylynn knew Lucille could survive an encounter with the Boulder. If he were an accomplished adventurer, he wouldn’t be working with a Televised Adventuring Guild. Not to mention the fact that mimics don’t grow to be the size of windmills by letting morons kill them.

  “Yes, the entire windmill. He’s frozen,” one of the assistants frantically told their boss.

  “That explains the lethality rating,” the other assistant muttered.

  “No kidding, I bet that’s why the quest is on the simple side.” The first one agreed.

  Boulder gulped, and something changed in his face.

  “He’s coming out of it; will he run or fight?” Ragna asked.

  Boulder took one step towards Lucille, and her tongue lashed out, wound around him, and pulled him inside her mouth.

  Lucille closed her mouth tightly and focused her thousands of eyes on the remaining camera watching her.

  “Boulder down. His camera is still live. Inside the mimic,” one of the assistants narrated into their headset.

  Boulder was rapidly punching and kicking everything he could as he howled in rage. Too little, too late. He should have fought to live when he had a chance to. Now he was just irritating Lucille more. He went to kick her in the mouth again when he slipped in her saliva, landing on her tongue. She took this moment to swallow him.

  “They must have paid for self-illumination cameras; otherwise all we’d see is darkness,” Tsunami muttered, impressed. “I wonder if the camera is acid-proof.”

  “I don’t think Lucille is going to puke him up. She didn’t swallow Tsunami, like that,” Inferno added.

  Keylynn was grateful that she didn’t name her Pebble Boulder because this Boulder was odious. He was cursing and monologuing the mimic. He even asked the crew to help him out. When pleading didn’t work, he resorted to demanding help. He even threatened them with his father’s wrath.

  Ragna shook his head. “Someone isn’t taking death well. His clothes are dissolving.” He pointed out the fraying hems of his clothes at the edges of his camera’s vision.

  Keylynn could see red burns starting to form on his skin. “The oil is saving him.” She pointed out one of his building muscles that he oiled. It looked pristine compared to the skin that he didn’t oil.

  “I think I might be sick,” Demetra said and turned away from the monitor.

  Boulder’s monitor flicked off. “I think that’s enough of that. We all know how that will end.” One of the assistants said softly.

  Keylynn nodded and turned her gaze to the other adventurers. She won’t be adjusting the lethality rating of the Mimic Farm. Lucille alone is responsible for the lethality rating. Lethality could reduce the foot traffic of adventurers from many guilds. And that will prevent the mimics from being culled too quickly.

  Ryder was running from a small horde of mimics while Luna was frantically trying to stab at a mimic hanging off of her leg. Lilliana’s monitor was much more interesting because she was currently running as fast as she could from the old broken-down tractor. The tractor was charging at her like an angry hootbear with thousands of tentacles lashing out in front of it. The tentacles formed several rings around a small snapping mouth, reminding Keylynn of a squid.

  “I feel stupid now for how casually I walked by that tractor,” Tsunami muttered. “Boss, you were right about this quest. Simple is best.”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “I think the singer is going to get eaten by a tractor,” Inferno stated.

  “Ten gold pennies says she forgets to sing a death ballad when she does.” Ragna set the money down in front of the monitors.

  “I’ll get in on that. “Ten says she gets away,” Demetra countered, adding ten more gold pennies to the pile.

  That wasn’t a smart bet. The mimic was clearly catching up to her, and unless Lilliana started doing something to slow down the mimic or kill it, she was going to die.

  He looked at her, raising his eyebrow. “I thought these shows were moronic and barbaric.”

  “Doesn’t mean I can’t make money off of them.” She shrugged.

  Demetra lost the bet when one of the tentacles wound around Lilliana’s leg, causing her to fall face-first into a mud puddle. She screeched, trying to wipe the mud out of her eyes. She never saw it coming. The tentacles wound around her and pulled her into the mimic’s mouth rapidly. The moment the tentacles disappeared, Lilliana’s monitors were turned off.

  Ryder and Luna both survived, barely. Luna survived from sheer dumb luck. She managed to avoid every single swarm of mimics without fail, which allowed her to fend off the mimics she did stumble upon. Ryder, on the other hand, walked right into a mimic swarm that had a larger overseer mimic. The larger mimic seemed to growl out orders to the smaller ones, resulting in a swarm smarter than he was expecting. He survived mainly due to his foresight to wear armour. If he hadn’t thought to wear armour, he would have been digesting in the dozens of smaller mimic stomachs.

  The Farm could become one of the foremost mimic research facilities or, at the very least, participate in mimic education. She hoped that she could add mimic education into the contract with the guild, at least for some footage. She wasn’t as well versed in educational tax breaks and benefits as Riv was, but she was certain there had to be a tax break that she could use to entice the guild to agree.

  The quest was a success, and that’s all Keylynn cared about. Cleatus co-operated in a manner that she expected of him, and the two surviving adventurers both agreed it was a unique quest that they would like to face again.

  As fast as the adventuring guild set up their gear, they packed it up just as quickly. The cameras, tower of monitors, microphones, and spools of cables disappeared into their heavy black containers.

  Keylynn walked around the collection of containers on her way to the producer. “Before you leave, I would like to inquire about access to the footage from today. Having the footage would make writing my report much easier as well as aid in negotiations for exclusivity rights.” She hoped to use the footage to show the necessity for the guild to share the mimic footage with those who wish to learn more about mimics. It's not often that mimics can be observed in their natural habitat the way they can be observed on the farm.

  “What? Right, yes, you corporate types love your reports, but—”

  “I care not for your show. I haven’t watched any of them. All I care about is how effective the quest itself was. You can blur out adventurers' faces and remove all that lead-up. Only the parts where they are on the farm. I can promise you that none of the footage will be used for anything more than my report. I can even provide you with a copy of my report just in case something relevant for your show appears.” Keylynn interrupted her before she could decline.

  The producer made a look that said she's not used to being interrupted. She pursed her lips. “Will it get you out of my hair sooner?”

  “I have no intention of being in your hair, but if you like, I can provide you with a worm to live in your hair.” She offered with a smile.

  “No, that won’t be necessary. Fine. You signed the NDA; we will provide you with footage. Likely our stars will be blurred out or cropped from the footage. I want exclusive rights to this quest. I think we have a hit on our hands. Mimic Survival. Put in a good word for me.” The producer conceded.

  Keylynn smiled. “You have my many thanks. I would love to be part of the negotiations because one of my team members is a remote worker for the quest.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Keep all that pleasantry talk for someone who cares. I have work to do.” She waved Keylynn off. “Hey! That camera is worth more than you are on a good day! Careful!” She stomped off to smack one of her workers.

  Keylynn returned to her team, who stood awkwardly off to the side watching the guild work. “You may depart now if you prefer. I wish to thank Cleatus for his cooperation and inform him of our departure.”

  Demetra beamed. “Finally a decent meal and a bed without lumps!”

  Ragna nodded. “Am I needed at all?”

  “I will leave that up to you. I know the guild was thinking about exclusivity with the farm,” she informed him.

  Ragna let out a sigh. “I’m sure it can wait until Monday. I plan to educate sweet Demi on the Televising Adventuring programs.” He smirked.

  Keylynn nodded. “Very well. Have a good weekend, all of you. You have earned it.”

  She watched her team leave before finding Cleatus. He was soothing the tractor mimic that ate the singing dryad. Their flailing pseudopods were gone, as was the squid-like beak.

  “Clemy, you did a wonderful job. That idjit came from nowhere and was intent on harmin' the little uns in yer care,” he crooned while stroking them gently. He ran his wrinkled hand over the rusted front flap that covered the engine.

  “Salutations, Cleatus and Clammy,” she greeted the tractor with a smile. “You really did a marvellous job.” She patted the tractor hesitantly.

  “That she did. Lucille was amazin’ too. I heard she ate one who stepped on a little un,” he agreed.

  “That she did. He didn’t stand a chance. Something about seeing such a large mimic caused excessive amounts of fear to flood his brain. The quest was exceptionally effective. The guild wants exclusivity rights to the farm, which would mean they can send more adventurers like the ones we saw today.” She explained carefully. If Cleatus didn’t want that, then she would fight all the corporate overlords for him.

  “I’d have to deal with all their equipment and them showing their asses to the world?” He asked with a sigh.

  “Unfortunately, yes. If this is something you don't desire, I will see to it personally that it doesn’t happen. This is your farm.”

  “Some suit is in a lick of trouble right about now, I reckon. And thank ye for helping me keep me farm. Ye even made it so the idjits that come by are even more stupid than ever before. Lots o’ mimic food.” He grinned at her. “They can come as they please. All I ask is they can’t be here every dang day. That’s too much for anyone. I need two days between visits for the mimics. Can’t have them overwhelmed. And I ‘xpect proper compensation for the increased loss of mimic life.” He gave her a grin. “Ol’ Cleatus is smarter than he looks.” He tapped his temple.

  She nodded. “I’ll see to it, as will Ragna. It was a pleasure to work with you. If you need our help for anything, please email.”

  The adventuring guild was gone by the time she was ready to leave the farm. They work fast. Keylynn let out a sigh and left the farm for what she hoped was a final time. The farm had decidedly too many mimics. If she were to count, she would reach a thousand easily, and that is definitely too many mimics.