I regained consciousness under a tree. The tree had black and white paint all over it. And it was shrinking. Looking up, I saw that we had successfully aimed towards a cliff, and the tree had roots, mostly torn away, stuck into that cliff, tearing loose its rocks.

  I was dying. I clicked a potion and my health ticked up slightly. I readied my heal spell, then saw that the tree was turning into Lacie. Oh, that's what the Tree spell does, I thought.

  Then I realized that, as she was turning into herself, those shredded roots were turning into her legs, and she was bleeding out. I grabbed her, poured my strongest healing potion between her lips.

  That's where I blacked out for a third time.

  I awoke to see Lacie, propped against a rock, trying to drag her limp, bloody legs back in front of her. My pain was receding, and I realized she'd put that long, slow heal on me. I struggled to stand, but couldn't move. "Lacie," I said, barely able to speak and not sure if I had more to say.

  "Help," she said.

  That gave me the strength to move, ignoring the pain of a broken ankle, just scrambling across rocks as that foot flopped in agony. "What?"

  "My regenerate. It needs everything fresh to work. I need to..." She gasped for breath.

  "What do I need to do?"

  She took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "I am going to start casting. It takes me about 1 minutes to cast the spell. When I finish casting, and I need to be conscious to finish casting, I need to have my legs pushed against the place they were torn from, and I need those stumps they're pressed against to be open wounds."

  "You want me to cut you open."

  "Without knocking me out and without healing me, so they're open exactly one minute from when I start casting. Ready?"

  "No."

  "I'm starting casting." She braced her hands at her sides, released her legs, and a subtle green glow began to seep from the grain of her wood.

  "Oh God, oh God, oh God." I was terrified for a moment, certain I couldn't do it, but the dungeon kills hesitation. I hated that it made me need to, but was thankful that I could.

  This wasn't easy, though. If I just cut them open, she'd bleed out. She only hadn't because healing had closed both arteries. Bleeding out had a simple solution. I pulled bits of leather from my inventory and tourniquetted her swiftly.

  Time was running out. Thirty-nine seconds in, I sliced away the flesh on the left stump and pressed that leg close. It went faster than I expected. Her health also dropped more than I expected, and kept dropping. I waited until only five seconds were left, sliced the other, pressed the leg tight, and looked at her eyes.

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

  Her health bottomed out, flickering red, and a wash of green light poured through her. She screamed, as I have never heard someone scream before. Beneath my hands, her legs were writhing, breaking my grip as they twisted into place. Her scream dragged on and on, until she slumped, unconscious, the legs connected.

  At last, realizing my health was also dropping, I began casting my heal spell.

  Soon enough, she woke again. She took a deep breath, and her health leapt to full as a blue glow washed across her. She set a hand on me, and my pain was gone as well. She stood, looking out at the ruins of the bubble we'd been placed in. "Check your achievements and notifications."

  New Achievement! Flex in the City!

  You killed a city boss with the participation of five or less crawlers. That is some serious badassery right there. Color me impressed. Now go do it again with a Province Boss.

  Reward: You already got a boss box. Go open that instead.

  New Achievement! Teamwork!

  You defeated a boss as part of a team. Did you know this is the first time you've actually fought a boss while not solo? Why are you so antisocial? Is the shoddy goth styling just to drive people away so you have more time alone in your room for gooning?

  Reward: I repeat, you got a boss box.

  New Achievement! Viewership Spike!

  Your view count increased by the highest percentage of any crawler in the dungeon so far across a 30 minute period. Do you know why? It's because your boss fight was so fucking boring that everyone stopped watching. Instead, they signed up on a list to tell them when it ended, so you had this rush of people back in. I honestly think I should take something away for this, but the dipshits who made this system didn't plan on weird little gooners like you.

  Reward: You've been awarded a Platinum Fan Box.

  Bubble Notification. Calcul's Complex Contraption has been successfully destroyed. The Subterranean Quadrant has been liberated!

  All give congratulations to the crawler who successfully took the throne room. All hail crawler Madison Pomegranate!

  All crawlers who originated in the Subterranean Quadrant may now freely travel to the other quadrants.

  Bubble Notification. The Towers of Narsuan have been successfully destroyed. The Land Quadrant has been liberated!

  All give congratulations to the crawler who successfully took the throne room. All hail crawler Madison Pomegranate!

  All crawlers who originated in the Land Quadrant may now freely travel to the other quadrants.

  "Holy cow, two regions clear. Although I was hoping for more boxes."

  "Wait, you only got three achievements?" Lacie frowned. "The AI has something really weird going on with you. Or, actually, maybe it's being clever. You know, if you had better gear, you might stop leveling your skills. Instead, it gives you basically infinite reasons to just grind skill, and here you are, completely overpowered."

  "I'm pretty sure it just thinks I suck."

  She shrugged. "Either way, I got seven levels and you got thirteen."

  "Wait, really?"

  "We duo-killed a fucking city-boss while under-leveled. Of course we got a ton of fucking levels. Now, we have eight days to clear the air and water quadrants, and then we're golden."

  "But first, let me guess," I said, "you want to go to a safe room and nap."

  "Uh, well, we should go open boxes and spend stats, but don't get mad..."

  "Why would I get mad?"

  "So, you remember that track meet in Ithaca?"

  I frowned, thinking back. "Wait, you fell asleep?"

  "There was this bit where you were just in the zone, and we weren't chatting, and the lasers were all rhythmic, and I fell asleep. I got an achievement for falling asleep during a boss fight and not dying, though. They gave me a platinum lucky bastard box!"

  "Let me see if I understand this correctly. I drew 100% of the boss's attention and did 100% of the damage to it, and you got more achievements than me."

  Lacie bit her lip, looking adorable as she avoided my eyes. "Uh, so what I was saying about the AI being weird..."

  "Man, screw this place," I muttered. "Let's find the safe room and get to those other zones."

  We started walking, carefully picking out way across the fallen rocks.

  "I can't believe you fell asleep!"