I struggle, but the princess possesses supernatural strength. Her arms are actual vises. During the struggle, my boot slips on the wet moss covering the rock. I lose my balance. Gravity claims its due.

  “SHIT!”

  It’s the only word I manage to spit out before the ground gives way. We tumble down the rocky slope toward the forbidden pool, tangled together in a chaotic fall.

  SPLASH!

  The impact is brutal. I sink like an anvil. Scalding water rushes into my nostrils and burns my eyes, blinding me instantly. Under the surface, it’s total confusion. Nectarine refuses to let go. The water actually seems to multiply her lust. She locks her legs around my waist and searches for my lips for a drowned kiss.

  Panic sets in. I plant my hand flat against her face, pushing with everything I have to create distance. I kick violently, tearing myself from her embrace, and surge toward the surface.

  I break the surface gasping, spitting water that burns my throat. I kick my legs to stay afloat in this deep section where I can’t touch the bottom.

  “Fucking hell…”

  I wipe my eyes with a furious backhand to clear the water.

  Then I freeze.

  Time seems to freeze. The sound of splashing water fades, leaving only absolute silence.

  Right in front of me. Five meters away.

  Kim is standing up. She heard the crash. She stands on a submerged stone ledge where the water level is shallower. The milky water barely reaches her mid-thighs. She stands there, dripping wet, her pale skin glowing softly under the amber light of the lanterns. Droplets slide over her shoulders and over her curves, putting an anatomy I was not supposed to see on full display.

  She is completely naked.

  I’m a man. Despite the fatigue, the alcohol, and the constant danger of death, my reptilian brain takes over for a split second. It records the image. And frankly… it’s a work of art.

  Ching!

  The notification bell detonates in my skull, shattering the moment and dragging me back to sordid reality.

  [CHALLENGE COMPLETED: Tactical Voyeurism] [Objective Reached]: Visual target confirmed. [Rewards]: TNT of Love, 2 x Violent Surge Potions, Virility Bonus.

  A pink chat window violently pops open right in front of my eyes, blocking my view.

  [Lilith]: Bravo, honey! I recorded everything in 8K. The look on her face is priceless! The princess crashing the party was not in the script, but I love it! Keep it up, you are my best entertainment. Kisses!

  I don’t even have time to breathe before a second line appears.

  [Lilith]: By the way, who is this princess? She looks… hungry. I love her already. She adds spice to the scenario.

  I mentally swipe the window away. I can’t reply right now. I’ve got a life-or-death emergency to handle in the real world.

  Kim locks eyes with me.

  I fully expect a scream, an attempt to cover herself, or basic embarrassment. None of that happens. She remains straight and totally motionless. She makes absolutely no move to hide her nudity. She stares at me, and I watch her expression shift. That is no longer my teammate looking at me. That is an apex predator spotting a nuisance in its territory.

  Her eyes are so cold I feel like the steam around us is going to instantly freeze. If this were a video game, a massive, flashing red “Instant Death” marker would pop up right above my head.

  “Ben…” she says in a calm voice. A terrifyingly calm voice. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  I feel cold sweat running down my forehead, mixing right into the hot bathwater. I’m trapped, literally treading water. I only have one option left. Absolute audacity. The desperate bluff.

  I raise an accusing finger at her, pushing all my chips to the center of the table. The best defense is a good offense, even when you're shirtless and completely in the wrong.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  “Hey! This is your fault!” I yell with perfectly simulated indignation. “I told you to watch her! What were you doing? Sleeping with your eyes open? This lunatic was climbing the rock wall to cross over to my side! I had to intervene! I tried to tackle her to bring her back to your zone, and we slipped! I’m a collateral victim of your gross incompetence, Kim!”

  Kim doesn’t move an inch. She casts a slow, highly analytical glance at Nectarine. The princess is literally purring, cheek pressed against my pecs, arms and legs wrapped around me like a tropical vine. The “safety tackle” excuse suddenly feels incredibly fragile when compared to the physical reality of our embrace. Kim does not look convinced by my version of events.

  Suddenly, Nectarine lifts her head. Her wet hair sticks to her face, but her smile is absolutely radiant, lit by a deeply disturbing fervor.

  “It is the absolute truth!” she exclaims, perverted stars practically shining in her eyes. “I could not wait any longer! The separation was sheer torture! I had to see… I had to feel…”

  She turns to me and shoots me a heavy wink, practically dripping with double entendres. Her hand, previously resting on my chest, slowly slides beneath the surface. It trails down my stomach, heading south with terrifying determination.

  “…how this Grave Digger handles his shaft. I felt an absolute need to test the rigidity of his tool.”

  Time stops. I literally feel my soul leave my body. It’s over. Goodbye, presumption of innocence. She isn’t just making innuendos anymore. She is practically writing the script for an adult movie in front of a live audience.

  The face of Kim turns scarlet with pure rage. The vein on her temple pulses violently. She doesn’t even reach for her rifle. Too slow. She scans the edge of the pool looking for a blunt object. Her gaze locks onto a bottle of shampoo carved from solid pumice stone, heavy as a brick.

  “Disgusting,” she spits with enough contempt to strip paint.

  Her hand closes around the bottle. Her muscles lock up.

  “Wait!” I scream, throwing my hands up. “It’s a metaphor! She is talking about the shovel!”

  She throws.

  The movement is fluid, violent, and perfect. The throw of a world champion. The pumice bottle flies like a major-league fastball. I dive underwater out of pure survival reflex, dragging the princess down with me. The projectile splits the air exactly where my nose was half a second earlier. It explodes against the rock behind me in a massive cloud of mineral dust and liquid soap.

  “GET OUT OF THERE!” Kim screams, her voice finally shattering the icy calm of the cave. “GET OUT OR I WILL DROWN YOU MYSELF! DIRTY PERVERT!”

  I swim backward, paddling frantically in a sloppy backstroke, sulfurous water splashing across my face. I drag Nectarine along like a living anchor. I desperately try to put as much distance as possible between myself and the sniper, all while actively protecting my earlobe from the teeth of the princess. I’m fleeing the most dangerous woman in the entire dungeon.

  Suddenly, the warm body pressed against mine stiffens up. Total rigor mortis. Her hands, currently groping my pecs with embarrassing greed, freeze instantly, claws fully retracted.

  I look down at her.

  The change is terrifyingly fast. It’s like watching a live graphical glitch. Her face completely recomposes. The tongue goes back in, the drool vanishes, the bulging eyes return to normal human size. The gleam of demented lust snuffs out like a blown lightbulb, instantly replaced by pure, virginal, absolute terror.

  The switch is incredibly brutal. The nymphomaniac just logged off the server. The damsel in distress successfully reconnected.

  She seems to suddenly realize she is stark naked, floating in water, and pressed tightly against a shirtless garbage man in the middle of the night.

  KYAAAA!

  The scream is so high-pitched and piercing it actually makes the surface of the water vibrate. It bounces off the cave walls like a blaring intruder alarm.

  She shoves me away violently with both hands, planting her palms firmly against my chest. Caught completely off guard, I half-sink, swallowing another gross mouthful of soapy water.

  She crosses her arms over her chest, trembling violently, cheeks flushing a deep crimson. She curls up in the water like a modest flower.

  “MONSTER!” she screams with indignant tremolos in her voice. “What are you doing?! Do not touch me! How dare you lay a hand on a Daughter of the Moon!”

  She turns to Kim, extending a desperately pleading hand toward the bank. Her eyes are filled with crocodile tears—or maybe traumatized princess tears, I honestly don’t know which is real anymore.

  “MISS! HELP ME!” she sobs. “HE TRIED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY WEAKNESS! HE DRAGGED ME INTO THE WATER BY FORCE! I AM DEFILED!”

  I pop back up to the surface, spitting water, coughing, and stare at her, absolutely hallucinating.

  “Excuse me?!” I choke out, my voice cracking. “Is this a joke? You jumped me, you bipolar lunatic! You explicitly wanted to see my shaft, for the record! You assaulted me in the bushes!”

  Nectarine covers her long pointed ears with her hands, squeezing her eyes shut as if my words are pure venom.

  “How horrible!” she cries out, utterly scandalized. “He is vulgar too! I am a pure maiden. I do not even know what a shaft is! Save me, noble warrior! This man is a lecherous demon! A bath predator!”

  I slowly turn toward Kim, bracing for the final verdict. I fully expect her to grab another rock, pick up her rifle, or just jump in to drown me herself.

  But nothing happens.

  Kim stands on the ledge, haloed in thick steam, naked and dignified like a marble Greek statue that has truly seen it all. She just looks at us—Nectarine screaming and me panicking—with a look of cosmic fatigue permanently painted across her face.

  She closes her eyes for a second, takes a deep breath, and lets out a long, heavy sigh that seems to drain her lungs of any lingering will to live.

  She runs a hand over her face, smoothing her wet hair back, and shoots me that look. You know the look. The gaze of a completely exhausted mother coming home from a double shift to find her kids just painted the family dog blue.

  It’s the universal face of “I’m done.” The ultimate internal facepalm.

  “I’m way too tired to deal with a schizophrenic princess and a nudist garbage man,” she says calmly, pointing straight at the rocky ridge. “Get out of my bath. Both of you. Immediately.”

  She sits back down in the hot water, turning her back to us, decisively ending the discussion.

  “And Ben?”

  “What?”

  “If you ever mention what you saw tonight… I will shoot you.”

  I’ve never obeyed an order so fast in my entire life. I grab Nectarine by the scruff of her neck while she continues to shriek ‘Pervert!’ and ‘Do not touch me, bad man!’. I drag her to the other side of the rocks, fleeing the absolute embarrassment of the whole situation.

  Twenty minutes later, everyone is dressed, dry, and heavily armed. The diplomatic incident in the hot springs has been securely sealed by a tacit pact of absolute silence. Kim put her light armor back on, Chris polished his shield, and Nectarine… well, Nectarine became a highly dignified princess again, although she still shoots me a few furtive, incredibly hungry glances whenever Kim isn’t looking.

  “The path starts here,” she announces, pointing toward the dark tunnel entrance at the back of the cave. “The Path of Deep Roots.”

  We step into the darkness.