Sitting there on the couch, listening in case anything happens and just resting my body after the fight just an hour ago, I can’t even be bothered to put on music.

  ‘Ain’t that something? After Reta’s death, after my family and everyone I knew died, I could listen to music after to zone out.’

  My breathing is labored and hurts, straining my ribs on each one. But it’s not the worst pain, just up there.

  ‘But somehow… this hit even harder. Maybe it was because it was who it was, people who never were meant to be connected to the arcane. Or maybe it’s because of how it was done.’

  Closing my eyes, I place my hand on my chest, pushing the nearly broken bone a bit and grimacing.

  ‘No… that’s not it. Then what? Why does this hurt so bad? And not just my bones, that’s hurt worse from my early training, no this is different.’

  Hearing footsteps approach me, I open my eyes to see Yuna standing in front of me. “Think you could… talk to Lulu for a bit? She… she’s out of it.”

  ‘That’s not like her… she’s always been the best at cheering any of us up… or at least comfort. If she could handle my abysmal depression, why is she struggling here? …I’m too sore to argue though.’

  I stare at her confused, before slowly sitting up with a visible hunch, wary to stretch my body out. “Sure… I can do that… what are you going to do?”

  “...make some dinner, she must be starving. She was… in that mirror world, repeating days. She’ll… probably tell you more.”

  Nodding slightly, I move past her and limp my way to Lumi’s room.

  ‘Not here… right… she’d be going to Yuna’s room I guess.’

  Heading there, I spot her in the brighter, white room, on the fluffy yellow blanket with white cotton on the bottom.

  “...hey Lumi… think you could help me sit…? My ribs are jacked, don’t wanna break one. Heh.”

  I try to keep it light with the chuckle, but she doesn’t seem amused. Instead, she quickly moves over and grabs my arm, gently helping me sit on the bed next to her.

  “Thanks…”

  “...yeah, of course… Are you serious, about your ribs?” Her voice is quiet, and slow. Typical of trauma survivors for these things. God, when did I become an expert on ptsd?

  “Ah… yeahp, she hit harder than my old boss. Hehe… ah… I’m gonna be stuck in bed for another week. Not yet though… not yet.”

  Letting out a long, painful breath, it only gets her to look more worried. “Then why are you here? Go to bed, rest.”

  ‘Why am I here… what can I even do that Yuna can’t?’

  After thinking about it for a moment, I shake my head. “No can do… Yuna wanted me to talk to you… so I will. So… what did you experience in there?”

  Her expression turns even more downtrodden than I thought it could. “...I was… stuck. In a loop. Waking up, cooking, working, showering, and sleeping. And when I’d sleep, it’d reset. But… nobody was there. You two were gone, and I didn’t see you. And… I couldn’t remember you. Just… just…”

  “A hollow place in your heart?”

  Blinking in surprise through the tears she’s gathered, she looks up at me confused. Her eyes are bloodshot, I notice.

  ‘If I could gut that imposter slowly, I’d do so for this…’

  She stares at me surprised, before giving me a very slight chuckle. “Thanks.”

  “...did I say that aloud? I’ve gotta stop doing that.”

  “It’s fine. I… got into the habit of thinking out loud lately, too. You… must’ve spent a lot of time alone, huh?”

  “...yeah. Yeah. Too much. Only Reta got me out of that shell.”

  ‘Where was I… right…’

  Looking up at the wall, I slowly trace my vision across the posters on it. Even if I’m not registering what they are. I just need something to do as I speak.

  “The reflection… the loops, were they getting… shorter, broken, making you forget things?”

  Nodding again, I feel a bit of fear grip my chest.

  “That… that’s what I thought. We first found out about the Other a long time ago. When they try to replace someone… if they get them into the mirror, they’ll replace them. And as they get stronger, they’ll subsume you, until you become their reflection instead.”

  Her eyes widen in fear. “So… it was getting shorter… because I was being destroyed…”

  “Or erased… yeah…”

  As she sinks her head into her hands, I sigh and shake my head, before slowly raising a hand and… well I can’t pat her shoulder easily… a hug would hurt my damaged arm and ribs… headpats I guess?

  ‘Strange… it wasn’t my ribs that stopped me from hugging her when she first offered help… and now here I am, lamenting them getting in the way.’

  Patting her head gently, she quickly leans into it with a little blush, her hair silky smooth and her ears actually really soft despite how fine the fur is.

  “Huh… like Luna…”

  “Luna?”

  “...my old dog.”

  “Oh.”

  …

  “Was that racist? Sorry.”

  Shaking her head, I slowly remove my hand. “No… no… I know you don’t mean anything bad. Don’t worry. But… how did you end up finding me?”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “I… I placed your old phone on the bookshelf. Yuna let me keep it to look at it, and I realized that would be a reflection the Other wouldn’t check to cover or stay away from. But… she had a reflection, so I almost thought she was real.”

  “...until I banged on the glass.”

  With a nod, I sigh. “Yeah. That… was when I realized what happened. If it wasn’t for Yuna… I would’ve lost that fight. The copy wasn’t skilled, just overwhelmingly strong.”

  “...what even is it? Other, like where does it come from? How did it attack me? Why?”

  Sighing, I look away, unsure if I should even answer that question. It opens a whole new can of worms, and might even put her under threat. She’ll want to know more about it, and at that point I’d just be telling her about the work I never should.

  …but, if I did that to begin with, I could’ve told her the secret to avoid this to begin with.

  ‘...is that why my heart aches so much? Not because it happened despite me, but because I know exactly how I could’ve prevented it?’

  Closing my eyes and questioning it more… I know it’s true. It’s not helplessness that hurts the most, it’s being able and choosing to leave it up to fate.

  Again.

  ‘No… I won’t leave it to fate. Not anymore.’

  Clenching my good fist, I look at her. “...I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you what I never had the balls to before. About… about what that thing is, and what Reta and I did for work.”

  Her eyes widen, before I take a deep breath, considering how to broach the topic. It takes me a lot of thought, before I feel her hand rest on my leg gently.

  Such soft skin… safe from this constant battle for life…

  ‘No more letting them be at risk.’

  “Alright… first… do you believe in god?”

  “Huh?”

  “Do you?” I speak with full seriousness. It’s not something I ask lightly, but if she does, this might be more unbelievable for her.

  She pauses, before she looks up at the ceiling. “...I don’t know. I used to when young, and still pray to them, but I don’t know anymore. I won’t deny it, I guess.”

  “...well, prepare to doubt it or accept it more. See… the Other… isn’t unique. Well, it is, but rather it’s not alone in terms of power. It’s just another creature out there.”

  “Huh? Wait, what do you mean?”

  Grabbing the cloth off a mirror next to the bed, I hold it in front of us, seeing her flinch through it. “See… this reflection holds another world in it. The Other lives there. Normally… it won’t notice us. But… if you make just the right ripple, like on water, it’ll realize we’re here and want to get through. Experience a world like we have it. And to force it back into its role… you speak its true name.”

  “True name?”

  Nodding, I look at my reflection, which has started moving towards me after I looked away.

  “Salka, t-the mirror!”

  Closing my eyes, I speak. “Mordret.”

  After I open them, it’s back to normal, and Lumi is looking at it stunned. “W-what? T-that easy?”

  “You say it’s easy… it only works if you catch it in time. But yes, that easy. If you know it, anyways. Many people died to learn that name.”

  “So… was it your job to learn that?”

  I do a so-so motion with my hand. “Sorta… sometimes, we did the grueling learning. Others, we zero the people who learned too much.”

  Her eyes widen, before I shake my head with a sigh. “Don’t be like that. You already knew I killed people.”

  “No I mean… I had an idea but… who learned too much?”

  “Yeah… see… well, let’s put it this way. Imagine you heard a single ant say your name as you walk outside for some groceries. You might question it, but think it’s your imagination.”

  Slowly, she nods. “Right…”

  Taking a deep breath to relax my aching muscles, I continue. “Now… let’s say you heard a hundred ants… a thousand… a whole colony… saying your name. Chanting it. Now… you’re going to be curious. And that… is why too many people knowing these things are a threat.”

  “Wait… so… if a bunch of people found out about M… the Others, and said their true name… they’d start showing up everywhere?”

  Nodding, I smile a bit at how quick she got it. “Exactly. And just like how there are millions of kinds of people out there, there are endless amounts of those things out there. You could consider them akin to gods, but from what we understand, they’re just unfathomable to us entirely.”

  “...so… let me get this right… your job was to go out and fight like, gods?”

  “...more or less, or the people who were stupid enough to try and get their attention.”

  She stares at me, before just shaking her head. “...god, no wonder you asked me if I believe in god. Now I really don’t know- wait! Is that what caused the great war to be so terrible?!”

  With a disappointed sigh, I nod. “Yeah. You know the phrase, “Like trying to fight Fauna”? Well, that’s referencing the god of the sun, who scorched the planet and turned most of it into uninhabitable deserts. We abused our arcane secrets, and got burned.”

  “...god… how can I be religious with all that, that it just happened like that?”

  Shaking my head, I remember Reta’s story of it. “Right? I wasn’t raised religious, but Reta said she was, and she quit after learning all this.”

  Giggling a bit, she lays back in bed. “Yeah, I can bet. Going from believing in one god, and in one afterlife, to suddenly learning that there are endless beings that could make hell look like a joke?”

  Chuckling a bit, I lay back alongside her, our shoulders touching and my ribs relaxing a bit in the new position. “Yeah, exactly. It’s… something else.”

  Letting out a sigh, her soft, fuzzy tail wraps gently around my arm as we sit in silence for a few minutes.

  …

  Her voice is quiet, barely breaking the silence. “So… was it guilt? That made you finally tell me?”

  “...yeah… yeah. That my own inaction almost let you get killed. That my willingness to let fate take control almost let my family get killed again.”

  My voice lowers into a growl as I finish the sentence, but she pauses and goes quiet.

  …after a few moments, I turn to look at her, her face right next to me, only inches away. “...”

  “...we’re like family to you?” There’s… something in her eyes. I’ve never been good at reading people but… I think it’s a mix of hope and fear?

  Blushing a bit, I turn back to the ceiling. “...yeah. Or at least… something like that. But it’s the best comparison I could come up with.”

  Hearing her let out a quiet breath, I just lay there and stare at the ceiling.

  “...Yuna as well?”

  “Yeah… just like you.”

  It’s silent for a few moments, before she speaks again.

  “...could I… hear some of the music you like?” Her question starts out hesitant… as if unsure what to ask exactly.

  “Huh?”

  “...I heard you… singing in the shower… a month ago. Before I was taken. Could… I listen to what you were listening to?”

  Closing my eyes and fighting the blush from that stand out memory, I nod slightly and put it on with a simple thought, it playing quietly through the room.

  Slowly, I begin to relax into the bed, and I feel her tail relax around my arm, the tip resting against my palm.

  …too curious, I can’t help but gently grasp and rub the tip with my thumb, enjoying the fuzziness and softness of the fur.

  ‘...Maybe I should have gotten cat based implants, instead of the carver ones? At least those are less error prone, last I checked.’

  After a little while, I start to sing along to the song.

  “I can remember crossing the line. When ushered into a darker time.”

  My voice is quiet, but soft. Softer than I ever let it sound… and with quiet tears coming down my cheeks.

  “Forever on the attack, I’m fighting into the black. Without you.”

  After a minute, she joins in, our voices creating a quiet harmony in only a few seconds of adjusting to match.

  “I guess I gambled and lost, when fate shuffled our decks.”

  I feel her tail wrap around my palm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “I will break, no more. To give this pain a purpose.”

  …this is… nice.

  ___

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