“My preparations are complete!” Alexander said aloud as he triumphantly lifted up a BLT sandwich and a pizza pocket. “I, Alexander the Wizard, have done my due diligence and crafted the trap with which I shall apprehend the lunch thief.”

  At the end of the day this mystery was fairly simple for Alexander to crack. After some initial research through his backlog of emails he had discovered a pattern in the thief’s lunch targets. Three out of four thefts were either turkey sandwiches or a cheap microwavable pocket type product, the kinds most people ate in grade school. Additionally, most of these were stolen during the afternoon lunch hour which was the slowest time in the break room. Leaving ample opportunity to take a lunch without meeting the lunch's actual owner.

  However, his genius plan took place when he had looked at the first skill on the Path of the Enchanter, glyph. It was a modifying spell that gave him a choice for a conditional trigger for his other spells for a small additional MP cost. Fortunately, that all regenerated after a short time. Unfortunately, he was forced to use his second point on another branching node off of glyph in order to expand those triggering options. The first trigger had been simple proximity to the glyph, that obviously wouldn’t work with so many people placing and grabbing their lunches out of the refrigerators. He purchased his tasty traps and unlocked the condition on the glyph to trigger ‘when glyph is damaged’. After some initial experiments he decided to set this glyph on the villain's favorite choice of food using the minor illusion spell.

  He was headed towards the break room to plant them when he saw the Operations Manager. She was standing near the clock in stations handing out some pamphlets as she smiled and said a few words to some employees. Susan was short with long dark hair, she always wore a pleasant smile for the general employees. Behind her office door however she was a different beast entirely. He wasn’t sure if she realized it or not but the walls of her office were paper thin. As a result her tongue lashings were legendary and a source of tasty office gossip for all but Alexander himself. He, being an excellent work drone, felt he had nothing to fear from Susan's razor sharp tongue.

  Susan saw Alexander walking in her direction and called out, “Alexander! How are you doing today? It’s odd to see you out of the office while on the clock.”

  “I am doing well, Susan.” He said as he held up a lunch bag for Susan to see. “I forgot to place my lunch in the refrigerator this morning and I did not want it to warm prematurely. I find a warm lunch to be less than desirable. ”

  “Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that.” She gave a friendly grin. “As you may have noticed I am handing out some literature for recruiting.” She said this as she handed him a small stack of ‘now hiring’ flyers. “You well know there is a growing number of malcontent employees that have been discussing starting a strike or, heaven forbid, forming a union.”

  He was able to see her mask cracking with annoyance, but she was quick to replace her friendly smile when the next employee clocked in. He took the flyer as he shivered, “I most certainly agree. What a headache that would be for Human Resources. Adjusting the paychecks to withdraw union dues and rewriting the entire employee guide… If I find any individuals of quality I will most certainly invite them to work for us.”

  He looked down at the flyer as he said this. It was simple as well as quite dated in its design. Some colorful 3d block lettering at the top said ‘now hiring’ with generic words like ‘opportunity’, ‘competitive wages’, and ‘benefits’ scattered about on the page around a picture of an attractive young female likely pulled from a stock image site. One of the requirements listed at the bottom was the ability to lift eighty pounds unaided. As this was a distribution center many of the boxes got quite heavy. Employees never knew when they may need to help move a box in the event of a jam so even HR employees such as Alexander had this requirement. He looked up at Susan and nodded as he headed for the break room.

  The break room was massive as Mekland was a large distribution center. There were a total of six refrigerators so he placed the sandwich and pizza pocket in different ones. He looked at the clock and planned to wait about two more hours before taking his break. This would be well outside of his routine which presented a problem. He didn’t want anyone who was a potential thief getting suspicious of his plot to deceive them.

  As he returned to his work station he could hear Karen yelling on her phone.

  “Yes, I said defective ice cubes! …did you actually look at the ice machine or are you just saying that to get rid of me? …then go get your manager on the line and I’ll have him fire you for incompetence!”

  Alexander casually moved towards the center of the room within earshot of several employees. They were currently gossiping about a string of missing pets. They were speculating on whether it was a organized ring of dog snatchers. He stretched his arms above his head as he took an exaggerated breath of air before looking at his watch. He pitched his voice at what he estimated to be about thirty percent louder than normal, “Oh, wow! Look at the time! I have so much work to do. I suppose it would be prudent of me to push back my lunch break by two hours and fifteen minutes.”

  Alexander thought his ruse quite convincing.

  Karen leaned back in her chair to peek out of her cubicle. Her face contorted in annoyance she tapped on her Bluetooth earbud with her lime green nails and said, “Nobody cares dip shit!”

  Her exclamation elicited a few muffled chuckles around the office. Looking at Karen he noticed her soda in the trash can behind her, nearly completely full. This caused him to subconsciously smile with mirth, which was a rare and unpleasant sight. This disturbed Karen slightly so she quickly turned and went back to berating the gas station employee on the phone.

  ***

  He could barely concentrate on his work, he was so full of anticipation. He even found himself distracted by the daily office gossip. A few coworkers were talking about missing pets, theorizing a dog snatcher was hitting the local neighborhoods.

  He mentally berated himself as he just stared at the clock for the last two minutes before his lunch break. Finally he got up—and having prefaced his unusual break time with his earlier tactfully placed announcement—he made his way to lunch casually. He supposed it was possible that he was a bit nervous however, as his strides were unusually long and he felt off balance.

  Making his way to the lunchroom he checked on his traps. The pizza pocket was right where he left it. Disappointing, but fortunately after moving down the kitchen wall to the next refrigerator he found that the BLT sandwich was gone.

  He did a tiny fist pump for his success. Though as he went back for his pizza pocket he felt a damper on his triumph at the prospect of having to eat it. “I suppose I will be having cardboard wrapped heartburn for lunch today.”

  He grumbled as he read the instructions on the back of the cardboard sleeve twice. Taking a paper towel he set it in the microwave and put the pocket on top. He set the time for a minute and thirty seconds before flipping it over and heating it for an additional minute. He let it cool for two minutes on a plate and sat down with his smart water for an extra depressing looking meal.

  As he was about to take a bite he realized he had yet to disarm the glyph he had prepared. So he closed his eyes and located the energy he had infused into the hot pocket and mentally snapped the glyph in half. Something he had practiced doing the day before. Satisfied with his success he took a bite. The melted cheese, tomato sauce and pepperoni were a greasy mess, and the first bite tasted so acidic, he knew it would be a stretch to keep his bathroom visits down to what he considered acceptable. So he decided it might be best to just buy a parfait from the concessions. As he stood up and checked for some cash in his wallet he heard a yell two tables down. He turned in time to see a turkey sandwich flying across the room separating into a shower of wasted fresh ingredients. Alexander traced its trajectory backwards to see someone falling out of their chair in hysteria.

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  ^

  You have gained 2 levels in the skill Trapping!

  Trapping level 2

  You have 2 points to distribute to your Trapping skill tree.

  A slight smile crept on his face as he walked calmly over to the villain, though he may have still been using that extra long stride subconsciously again.

  He looked down on the scoundrel trying to right themselves on the anti-slip treated cement floors. Much to his surprise Karen crawled up to her chair panting and shouting obscenities.

  “Why Karen, whatever is the cause of this outburst? What could possibly upset you so badly that you throw your sandwich across the room?” Alexander said with as much sincerity as he could muster.

  “The, that sandwich tried to eat me! It grew a long purple tongue and massive teeth and, and it tried to bite my face off! …and my name is Sharon damnit!”

  “Whaaaat? How on earth could a sandwich that you prepared, by hand, yourself, try to eat your face off? Oh, my! Why, is this the wrapper for your sandwich?” He said holding up a plastic bag which he cunningly had written his name upon. Karen… Sharon seemed to pay no attention to him, she was still wary of the tomato slice that had fallen onto the table. At that moment one of the floor managers, a large balding man, was coming to see what the fuss was about.

  “Is everything ok over here?” He asked as he approached them.

  Alexander responded swiftly as Karen poked the tomato slice with a fork. “I don’t believe so. My fellow co-worker here seems to be hysterical upon being discovered for her crimes.”

  “Crimes?” Karen looked at Alexander contemptuously.

  “Why of course. Is the theft of another person's lunch not a crime?” He asked innocently. “You did take my turkey sandwich which was in this zip-lock bag with my name upon it and hurl it across the room when I spotted you with it did you not?”

  “Is that true?” The man turned and asked Karen.

  “What, well I don’t know where the sandwich came from, but it tried to bite me in the face!”

  “I… see, well why don’t we go talk to Susan about the sandwich. I am sure she will know precisely what to do.” He said looking at Alexander while making a face that said, is she sane?

  Alexander simply shrugged and proceeded to guide Karen to Susan’s office. Alexander pretended to console her along the way saying that he was certain that the turkey’s vengeful spirit was laid to rest once it was thrown in the trash can.

  What happened next didn’t need much imagination. Karen was already on thin ice with Susan. She was constantly complaining about other workers and shifting blame when she did something wrong. So once Alexander pointed out that there had been many such thefts at that time. He played up the position that he was shocked and appalled to be the victim of such a crime, but Susan just waved him out of the room. Alexander wasn’t certain, but Susan might have rolled her eyes at him during his explanation. He was certain however, that Karen did, multiple times.

  Putting on a mortified face as he left, he felt no need to eavesdrop as Susan’s voice once again ripped right past the walls, causing a few employees to edge closer. "Something something, poor performance. Something last straw.” Karen cut in, “Something something sandwich tried to eat me! Something something the victim!”

  Susan replied, "Something something disappointment! Something out! You are FIRED!”

  ^

  Quest Complete!

  Catch the Hamburglar:

  Someone is pilfering the lunches of everyday employees.

  Objective: Find the lunch thief and bring them to justice!

  Quest rewards:

  -450 xp

  -3 silver

  Congratulations, you are now level 2!

  For the first time Alexander was not annoyed to see a prompt pop up.

  The cheap hollow prefab door swung open to reveal Karen’s wrathful gaze casting over the office to find Alexander who was sitting innocently with his head poking out of his cubicle. Over her shoulder came Susan’s voice. “Alexander, if it would please you to join me.”

  He stood, fixed his shirt, and walked confidently towards the office. As he passed Karen however his poise shattered when she actually hissed at him.

  He composed himself and nodded at her, “Have a good day.” Then he shut the door behind him. He turned to see the immaculately generic office. Complete with motivational posters, family pictures, and a far side calendar. Yes, they are still making those.

  He put on his best affronted face before starting to say, “Can you believe the…”

  “Shut it.” Susan cut him off. “You set her up didn’t you?”

  Alexander squirmed as he realized his ploy was seen through so easily. He was beginning to lose his faith in his acting skills. Seeing as he had not technically lied to Susan yet he decided that he would default back to honesty is the best policy.

  “Well I did not set out to set up Karen specifically. The identity of the afternoon lunch thief was unknown to me until the moment I caught her. However, I was confident I could find the thief with a little extra effort, so I pursued the matter.”

  He was starting to get nervous as he felt his heart speed up. The room began to feel a bit warm.

  Susan looked at him and asked slowly, “I have one more question and I want you to answer me honestly. Did you break company policies in order to catch Sharon in the act?”

  He thought about it for a second. There were no rules against scaring people with magic in the employee guidelines. “No, I am certain. I just used a trick to spice up the sandwich, which was my own property besides. I would have eaten it without hesitation if she had not thrown it across the room.”

  Susan placed her palms together in front of her face and rested her elbows on the table. She stared at Alexander for a moment. He felt like he was being measured or tested in some way.

  A nervous sweat was beginning on his forehead just as she said, “You have the highest rate of answered emails in the office, in addition to taking often ignored issues such as the lunch thief, and you are also a stickler for the rules. I have a mind to give you an opportunity for the Human Resource Manager position. However there is one severe weakness you have that prevents me from doing so. Can you guess what it is?”

  Alexander stared at her blankly and thought for a moment. After a few seconds he simply shrugged. “I am not certain.”

  “People, Alexander, you don’t get along very well with people. Sharon is a poor example as she was everything you aren’t, lazy, disorganized, and gossipy. She will socialize to get out of work whereas you work to avoid socializing.”

  He moved to respond but she held up her hand to stop him, “I understand that you are likely thinking correctly, you are here to work not chat. However there is something to be said for being sympathetic and understanding to how others think, just as I have to understand the way you think. That is why I see potential and what you need to do to obtain it.”

  She shifted a handful of the now hiring flyers to the front of the desk before continuing.

  “Do you know what takes communication and social skills? Recruiting. I want to see how many people you can bring in to join the company. Then train and lead them. If you can get enough we can lower the pressure on our location to unionize. Are you interested?”

  ^

  New quest!

  Stop being awkward:

  Your boss wants you to learn how to interact with people by recruiting employees.

  Objective: Recruit new employees

  Quest rewards:

  -100 xp per recruit

  -3 silver per recruit

  Time Remaining: 1 month

  Alexander closed the quest window before saying, “I would be thrilled to be given the opportunity.”

  The statement was half true at best. He had of course been aiming for the promotion, but the thought of increased interactions with strangers gave him wonder about how effective he could be in this task.

  “Excellent, you will start recruiting immediately. Your usual duties will be the same except you will be doing new hire employee training and running some errands for me as a sort of personal assistant. No increase in pay until I give you the promotion however. Any questions?”

  “Helping increase company profits is its own reward.” He said somewhat honestly.

  “Excellent, here is the outgoing mail.” She said as she handed him a small box and placed the flyers on top. “Take it to the post office, and find me some loyal, non-unionizing employees.”

  All in all Alexander found this encouraging save one issue. He absolutely hated meeting new people.