"What are you looking at?" Xynthia frowned at us.

  We were kind of staring; she just looked really different after she finished in the bathroom. Came out looking clean and refreshed, but just really different that we couldn't help but stare in shock. Unable to form words, and by some magic all three of us began stuttering. Actually, that's not true. Mister Gentleman Undead was as calm as a cucumber.

  "Did you change your hair?" I asked, feeling stupid the moment I said it.

  Oddly, I just had a feeling that the silence needed to be filled. An urge to speak up, without even considering my next words. That was weird, but I had seen it in many comedies and dramas. Especially Korean dramas, got into them a few years ago. No idea why I liked them; maybe I was a sucker for romance? But that seemed unlikely.

  "I washed it," she said, tentatively dabbing her hair.

  It was longer than I expected, not super long like an anime character's. But it reached down to her shoulders and was glistening, like she had just dropped a ton of product into it. Maybe she had a dimensional space like a ghost bag? That would be super useful for carrying around feminine products on her journey.

  "It looks good." I said, oddly getting nervous.

  She narrowed her eyes, inspecting me. Since I didn't get a ping of a skill coming my way. She was doing it in the old-fashioned way.

  "Are you flirting with me?" She tilted her head, frowning and giving me a suspicious glare.

  Taken aback, I quickly came up with a brilliant retort. "I don't know how to flirt." I said truthfully, and she looked sceptical. "Really, I don't... I mean, I kind of do from movies, but that just made it even more confused and convinced me flirting only works if you're pretty."

  "Movies?" she questioned, head tilted to the other side.

  "Oh sorry, more new lingo. They are like stories or plays, but using magic." I explained badly.

  "Interesting."

  "You humans are weird." Rak spat contemptuously.

  "I am not human..." she growled at the gargoyle, "well, technically half human." She corrected.

  Rak snorted, "I know, half-breed, I can smell the blood of the vampire in you."

  Her eyes widened, nostrils flared, and her face went a slight shade of red. I wasn't the most perceptive of people. But I think she was furious, like she was ready to rant and punch. It was the anger that spelled trouble. Rightly so, since Rak was kind of being a dick. Could he just stop with the racism or speciesism?

  "You're one to talk, spellspawn." She returned with venom of her own.

  "What did you say!" He rose to meet her, claws outstretched.

  Expecting a fight and not really wanting my whole breakfast club idea to be ruined. I raised a hand and dropped a chunk of newtons on the guy, forcing him back down with a thud. His glare fell upon me in an instant, but all I concerned myself with was how cool I must have looked. One hand raised casually in the air, fingers outstretched as my will restrained the beast. I returned his gaze with a glare of my own and tried to come up with something epic to say.

  "Have a seat; it's breakfast club time." And just as the words escaped my mouth, I cringed.

  I was on the spot and don't do well under pressure. I took a quick puff of my cigarette, not letting up with my concentrated force blast. Or perhaps it would be better to call it force pressure.

  "Let me go!" He struggled against the invisible bonds, eyeing me like an enemy.

  "Not until you calm down."

  He didn't calm down; he was far from calming down. Nostrils flaring, eyes wide and chest heaving, he was fighting back, eager to let loose and destroy. But as time went on and hands lingered over weapons, he reclaimed some semblance of sanity. His chest was heaving slower and slower until an aura of serenity descended upon the man.

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  "Good, now I want you both to apologise." I glared back and forth between them. Lessening the amount of force. "You apologise for calling her a half-breed," I pointed to Rak and then to Xynthia, "you apologise for calling him a what? A spellspawn? Because I don't know what that means, but it sounds derogatory."

  As expected, they didn't immediately clasp hands and give heartfelt apologies. Not until I threatened to drop the sum total of my formidable powers on both of them and grant them a lovely time eating the carpet. What followed was two deeply troubled people finding common ground. United in their disdain for me, the destroyer and enemy of the pair.

  "Now that everyone is cool, we can get to the main event." I excitedly carried on, leaping to my feet.

  Swapping places with Xynthia, who required some prodding to sit on the couch. She was tired, so she didn't really require much. Once my audience was here, I began my rant — I mean my delightful speech about coming together in peace and cooperation. Yeah, that totally works, peace and love for all!

  "What is breakfast club? Is it a buffet? I don't think I'll partake of any food. However, you all are free to feast." Marius spoke up, legs crossed and confounded.

  I paused, trying to collect my thoughts for an answer. With the last of the cigarette nearly ash, I eventually came up with a good analogy. Good might be a strong word, but I am winging it so hard right now.

  "The Breakfast Club was a grand play where a group of outcasts came together and found common cause."

  "A story?" Xynthia spoke. "You are using a story for what? To convince us to play nice."

  "Pretty much..." I shrugged, sighing heavily and heaving my shoulders. "Come on, guys, working together is the right choice. You want to die in this hellhole?"

  "He has a point. While the ambience is exquisite, the denizens are quite rude, present company excluded." Marius said, backing me up like a bro.

  "Exactly, so let's just make nice and work together to get out of here."

  They didn't all nod in agreement; Marius was a bro and was totally on board. Xynthia just scowled at the whole affair, and Rak was just the same as two seconds ago. Breaking the ice appeared to me my job.

  "In the spirit of cooperation, how about we get to know each other... Ill go first?" Caught up in the moment, I was about to come clean before pausing.

  Coming clean was probably a dangerous move. I doubt they would be receptive to the truth, even if they believed it. I mean, how do you tell someone that you used to work for the gods that managed their entire reality? So best to embellish the truth a bit. Inhaling deeply, I let out a tired sigh and began my tale.

  "Greetings, let me introduce myself. My name is Joey Brask. My nickname is Tripleshot, which I got from combining coffee, energy drinks and booze." I paused, letting that sink in. "My tale is one of woe and betrayal. You see, I was once a servant to a great and powerful..." I was about to say company but quickly shifted to a medieval mindset, "guild, yes, a guild. Far from these lands that you will have never heard about them."

  "A guild, like the Questers Guild?" Xyn, as I will call her now, chimed in.

  "I do not know what that is, but thank you for engaging." Coughing, I resumed my tale. "I served faithfully for many years before I was betrayed." Feeling the flow take me, I let the actor loose. "Betrayed, I say! For my masters planned to replace me and my ilk with constructs... ah, golems that served without question." Raising my hands, I covered my eyes in shame.

  "Oh, the betrayal." Marius spoke, hand over his heart, leaning in to listen.

  At least I had one member of the audience captivated. I looked around and found Jeremy sleeping in the corner, his ears twitching every few seconds, his chest slowly rising and falling. Such a cute little bastard with much to explain.

  "Yes, the betrayal and you would think that I would deal with this with the grace and poise of a gentleman." I mirrored the undead, hand over my heart.

  "I think that's a no," Xyn said sarcastically.

  I took a draw of my cigarette, long and lingering. My voice was raspy as smoke billowed from my lips. "Yes, thanks, Xyn," I returned the sarcasm. "I did not. I got massively drunk and... did stuff that would have got me fired."

  "So you proved them right to get rid of you." She came in with a logic that I could not refute.

  "Sadly, yes, and so I needed to bail. Jumped through a portal to parts unknown and ended up stranded wherever this is." I waved around.

  "So you're an outcast. Welcome to the club." Rak chimed in, summing up my grand tale with sheer simplicity.

  "Kind of, yeah... well, that's my tale. So who is next?" I awaited a volunteer.

  "Wait a second, did you just say you portalled here?" Xyn questioned.

  A little sheepishly, I tried to think up the best answer. "Yep." I am brilliant.

  "Okay, that's possible. There is powerful magic out there. But I am more curious about why I can't analyse you with my spells."

  I was afraid she was going to ask that. Unfortunately, it was inevitable the moment I switched on the stealth program and blocked all connections to external systems. With that in mind, how do I deal with this? The wise choice was to lie, but I had already had success with embellishing the truth, so that seemed the best method given the situation. Hey Jen, deactivate the stealth program.

  Giving that mental order, I sighed heavily, which the trio noticed. I gestured for Xyn to cast her spell; she did so without pulling out a component like a wizard. Just willed magic to form, and if I could see magic, I would have totally seen it form a system tether. Which is the only part I could see, traveled the distance and landed directly on me.

  "Systemologist? Are you some kind of zealot?" She spoke, eyes wide and utterly confused.

  "A what?" Was all I could say, flabbergasted by the question.

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