“Open your suitcase.”

  Li Li, wearing a baseball cap, stood in the small customs inspection room and obeyed the blonde, blue-eyed officer’s instructions, unzipping her large black suitcase.

  A bright yellow ritual robe lay conspicuously among her modern clothes. Neatly packed in the layers were yellow talisman paper, cinnabar, red strings, and other supplies.

  “What is this?”

  The officer pointed at a sword woven from ancient-style coins, secured by a luggage strap.

  “Uh… um…” Li Li’s mind raced, searching for the English word for “ritual implement.” Unfortunately, “Fǎqì” wasn’t on the IELTS vocabulary list.

  “That’s… that’s…” Under pressure, her verbal tic returned.

  The officer’s expression grew stern.

  Finally, Li Li said with a standard Chinese accent, “It is... ghost catching instrument.”

  “Ghosts?” The officer’s face went blank for a second, then her eyes showed a flicker of fear.

  Li Li nodded eagerly. “I am Taoist priest,” she said in English, digging out her **Taoist Practitioner License** from the suitcase. She flipped to the page with her photo and handed it over.

  The license had an official red seal and a steel embossment—looked completely legitimate.

  The officer took it, used a translator app to scan the Chinese text, and carefully compared Li Li’s face to the photo. “What is the purpose of your entry?”

  “Study.” Li Li produced her university acceptance letter.

  After inspecting the letter thoroughly, the officer relaxed slightly. “Are these coins antiques?”

  “No, no.” Li Li shook her head like a rattle drum. “All bought last month. From Temu.”

  She pulled up her order history on her phone: *Authentic Taoist Replica Coins, Blessed Ritual Item.*

  Brand new. Undeniably new.

  *Yeah, right—like I’d be allowed to touch real antiques, let alone take them abroad,* she thought. Buying replica coins online, threading them herself, and blessing them under the temple statue was the limit of what her dad would permit.

  The officer held the coin sword under the light, comparing it to the product images. Satisfied, she placed it back in the suitcase. “Thank you for your cooperation. You may enter.”

  “Thank you, thank you.”

  Li Li quickly repacked her scattered clothes, closed her suitcase with a sigh of relief, and wiped the sweat from her forehead—brought on by the vocabulary panic.

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  “Wait, please.” The officer stopped her.

  *Now what?*

  Li Li stared blankly, her expression asking the question.

  The officer looked uneasy. She didn’t know much about Chinese culture, but she knew it was deep and ancient—she didn’t want to offend. “I touched the sword just now. Will… anything bad happen?”

  After mentally translating, Li Li shook her head vigorously again. “No, no. Nothing will happen.”

  The officer relaxed visibly.

  *Like there are that many wandering ghosts anyway. Do people think the underworld enforcers are just slacking off?*

  Oh, wait—she was abroad now. This was the **Grim Reaper’s** jurisdiction.

  Li Li wheeled her suitcase to an airport restroom. As soon as she locked the stall door, a sleek, dark scorpion crawled out from under her cap and leapt onto her knee.

  “Sorry you had to hide,” Li Li whispered, offering her index finger. “No choice—you’re an invasive species. Wouldn’t get past customs. And if I left you at home, Mom would squish you like a cockroach.”

  Zhang Xinlan was terrified of roaches—and anything with a similar shell. Xiao Xie, being a Gu King and well-fed by both Li Guang and Li Li, had a glossy black carapace. From a distance, it looked like a super-sized, overnourished cockroach.

  The scorpion gently pinched her finger with its pincers, punctured the skin with its mouthparts, and drank carefully.

  It hadn’t eaten during the long flight.

  “When we get to the apartment, I’ll buy you a big terrarium,” Li Li promised.

  Xiao Xie waved its tail as if in thanks.

  After feeding, it crawled back into her palm, and Li Li tucked it under her cap again.

  The finger wound healed quickly—the Gu King’s secretions had medicinal properties. Much better than mosquitoes, which just left itchy bumps.

  After leaving the restroom, Li Li bought a local SIM card, activated her phone, and contacted the rental agent she’d arranged with back in China.

  The agent, surnamed Wang, was Chinese and had immigrated years ago. He specialized in housing for international students and was waiting outside the airport.

  Li Li found him easily. Agent Wang greeted her warmly and even helped load her suitcase into his SUV.

  “Young lady, let me tell you—this apartment is a steal! You won’t find a better location!” On the drive, Agent Wang enthusiastically listed the place’s virtues. “It’s downtown, close to your university. Supermarkets, subways, entertainment—everything’s nearby. There’s a square five minutes away with food trucks from all over the world. You won’t have to worry about adjusting to the food. And if you’re concerned about hygiene, all the major fast-food chains are here too.”

  Li Li listened and nodded. “If it’s so good, why is the rent almost half the price of nearby places?”

  Agent Wang’s voice hitched. He laughed awkwardly. “Maybe the landlord's feeling generous? Early retirement, you know how it is, haha.”

  Li Li glanced at him in the rearview mirror and hummed thoughtfully.

  After that question, Agent Wang fell silent, focusing on driving. Only when they reached the apartment building did he revive his professional charm, enthusiastically giving her the tour.

  The location was indeed excellent, just as he’d said.

  “Come on, come inside!” Agent Wang used the landlord’s key to open the apartment door. “Central AC and heating, gas is connected. No furniture, though—you’ll need to buy some. I have a secondhand chat group for students; I’ll add you later. You can find everything there, cheap and durable.”

  Li Li stopped at the doorway.

  Agent Wang turned back, puzzled. “Not coming in?”

  “This apartment was renovated not long ago,” Li Li stated—a fact, not a question.

  “How did you know?” He looked surprised—this was private information, known only to the landlord and agent. “Just repainted the walls. That was a year ago; any fumes are long gone. If you’re worried, we can buy a test kit later.”

  Li Li wasn’t worried about fumes.

  She was more concerned about the pale, floating female ghost behind Agent Wang—the one with bulging, bloodshot eyes staring right at her.

  Yes, she's already found a ghost. No, she's not surprised.

  Rent's cheap for a reason, folks. ??

  Let's see how our Taoist exorcist handles Western ghosts!

  Don't forget to leave a comment if you're enjoying the chaos!