It didn't occur to me before. I didn't think that was an option. I could never consider that it was an option because choosing that option is cruel. Cruel to the people I left behind. Cruel to the haunteds and Major Coleman and Reina and the rest of Bastillian forced to deal with the problem that I had caused. Cruel because I would be abandoning them to their demise while I stay here watching a movie with Betaline Leo and Betaline Cana while AlphaLeo and AlphaCana are probably worried sick waiting for me to come back.

  So, no. It never even crossed my mind. But knowing now that it was okay to choose to stay here...? That opened a whole new door for me. Armed with that knowledge, thinking of going back to my original timeline fills me with one thing: dread.

  What am I going back to, really? The constant threat of death from the cultists? A repeat of the Dark Year once the Bastillians learn that their worst fears have been realized? The fugitive lives Cana and I are painted with by the media? Not to mention, the enormous responsibility: to undo my mistakes and stop the cultists from summoning a literal god bent on destroying our dimension. That's too much burden to place on anyone's shoulders, let alone a sixteen-year-old high schooler! How are a group of high school students supposed to do that? And even if the best case scenario had happened, we stopped the cultists, resealed the seal I opened, and kept Azgarmoth at bay, (because I don't believe there's a way to kill a being as old as the universe), Kent, Eris, Demi, The night guard, and the countless soldier of Major Coleman, would still be dead. Every second of our victory there would be a reminder of what we lost.

  I opened the door of the movie theater. I was immediately greeted with the warm smiles of my friends. They were huddled over the laptop. The projector beamed the list of movies they were scrolling down on the wall on the opposite side of the room. Only 3 people were seated. Cato sitting on one of the recliners on the front row. Demi, sitting near the wall with Eris beside him. Shame prompted me to walk towards the projector instead.

  "Hey" Leo said.

  "You're guys still looking?" I asked. "We can watch other movies too. I'm not forcing you guys to watch a time travel movie with me."

  "Actually," Cana said. "We found a lot. But they're old."

  "Like 2002 old," Leo added.

  "Yeah," I said. "What's it called?"

  "Time Machine," Harmony answered.

  "That fits the bill, doesn't it?" Kent said.

  "Where are the others?" I asked, changing the subject as I still find it hard to maintain eye contact and be all casual with Kent. Actually, that goes for all the dead haunteds.

  "They're getting snacks," Cana said.

  "You know what this needs?" Kent said.

  "Pancit Canton?" I said. A smile formed on my face. The casual atmosphere and the knowledge that it's okay to stay here made me forget for one instance that I am having fun with a dead person. The moment I caught myself slipping, my smile faded as easily as it appeared.

  "Pancit Canton," Kent beamed.

  "But it's almost lunch," Indigo said. "Mr. Marino won't like this."

  "Yeah," I said. "He's been cooking something special."

  "Then I'll eat that too!" Darius boasted from behind with the other, her sister Scarlet and Caprice. Each was either holding buckets of popcorn and soda bottles and took whatever seat was available.

  "That solves it then," Kent said pushing us towards the seats. "Let's go, let's go!"

  But his pushing stopped when he realized I was talking looking towards Demi.

  "Is he alright?" I asked no one in particular.

  "Well, there were bruising," Cana said, looking at Demi and Eris too. "But no permanent damage. At least that's what the doctor said."

  I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You should talk to him," Harmony suggested. "Just be honest. I'm sure he'll understand."

  "Yeah, man," Kent said. "Major Coleman said it. It wasn't your fault. It's just..." He gestured to the rest of the room. "You know..."

  "Yeah..." I agreed.

  "Want me to come with you?" Cana offered. But I shook my head.

  "Thanks," I said. "But I think I should do this on my own."

  "I'll save you a seat," she said.

  The group went on to sit up front with the others. I, on the other hand, swallowed the lump that grew on my throat and walked towards Demi.

  Immediately, I was met with hostile and protective eyes from Eris as I approached.

  "Hey-hey," I said. "Can I talk to Demi for a bit?" I don't know why I'm asking her permission as if she's his guardian but I doubt ignoring her would yield better results.

  "Are you okay?" Eris said, staring at me. "And I don't mean your physical health."

  She's asking if I'm still a threat to poor Demi. Which is fair.

  "I...I-'d like to think so," I said.

  Eris kept her eyes on me, not saying a word. At this time, Indigo just looked at the carpet at her feet.

  "I'll be okay," Demi said.

  "You sure?" Eris said.

  "I won't be far," Eris said. To which Demi nodded.

  Eris stood up and faced me. "I'll be watching you, Vergil."

  I said the only reply I thought appropriate to the threat. "Of course."

  "Come on, Indigo," she said. Indigo stood up and the girls left me and Demi alone. Well, as alone as we can be in this room with the other haunteds seated in front and at our back.

  Suddenly, the speakers blared out the intro of the movie. Thankful for the new noise that would mask our conversation, I started my apology.

  "Hey," I said. But the moment he looked at me, I looked at the carpeted floor.

  "How are you feeling?" he asked.

  Confusion made me forget of my shame. I met his eyes. "How am I feeling?" I repeated. "You're the one who got strangled last night."

  "Major Coleman said it was the stress," Demi said. "That you didn't mean to hurt me. Or anyone."

  More like the unending nightmare I wake up to every day. I thought.

  I took the empty seat beside him, where Eris sat. "I'm really sorry about last night."

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  "It's okay," Demi said. "Major Coleman explained that fear makes people do crazy things. Like the Dark Year, for example."

  I bit my lower lip. I felt like it was an unfair comparison. Being compared to those people...stung quite a bit. Those people didn't even experience half of the horrors I did but it was enough for them to lose their minds and kill children! But I can't exactly voice this thought out loud.

  "I'm really sorry," I said. "I freaked out." That was all I could say. I couldn't offer any more explanation because I don't believe retelling the horrific events of these past weeks would make them see that my breakdown last night was long overdue. I mean, who would even believe that I come from a different timeline in the first place? Certainly, not me.

  "So you're okay now?" Demi asked again. He offered me some gummy bears he was eating.

  I can't help but smile a bit. Even in this timeline, Demi is still the sweet and innocent Demi who loves his gummy bears. "Yes, I am." I took some out and got the red and green ones. "And you?" I asked while chewing on the strawberry and lime gummy bears. "Your neck okay?"

  "Major Coleman stopped you before you did any damage," Demi said. "That's what Dr. Barnes said. It's a bit sore though, on spots." He said, touching the spots on his neck where I assumed my hand gripped hard.

  Dr. Barnes? I thought.

  Dr. Barnes was supposed to be our dayshift army doctor/caretaker that replaces our civilian doctor that we haven't even met at Alpha timeline. Since all civilian personnels were promptly replaced following the deaths of Kent and Mr. Donovan.

  "So...you-you're not afraid...of me?" I stammered. Getting the words out was as difficult as getting called in up during a graded recitation you didn't prepare for.

  Before he could answer, the lights went out. The intro of the movie started. Demi was looking forward. So I decided to do the same and watch.

  "I am," he finally said when the title TIME MACHINE appeared. Then he reached inside his collar and pulled out a chain. Attached to the chain was a small, light blue remote-looking thing with a button in the middle. "Major Coleman gave me this. It activates the alarm on the entire dorm when I pressed the button."

  "Am I really being treated like a criminal?" I asked. Demi started to speak but I held my hand up. "I deserved it. Keep it with you at all times. That gives me the assurance that if I freak out again, I would be stopped," I said.

  Demi slid the remote back under his collar. "That's what Major Coleman said."

  I let out a laugh of pure disbelief. I guess now I understand how Major Coleman kept the Biringan's 20- year-of-no-deaths record. He anticipates everything. "Thank goodness for Major Coleman."

  There was a lull in the conversation.

  "So..." I said. "Are we good?"

  "Yeah," Demi said.

  The front row turned around, smiling.

  "Hell, yeah, we're good," Kent said.

  "It's nice that you guys made up," Harmony added.

  "Oh, come on!" I said. My face felt hot. "The movie's already started, eavesdroppers."

  "You are literally right behind us," Cana said. "There's no way we wouldn't hear."

  She's right. The twelve seats were positioned just like in a cinema. Two rows of six single-seater couches, complete with armrest and cupholders, are placed closed to each other so there really was no way they wouldn't hear me in this small room. I know that but I just wanted to say something because, well, it was embarrassing. I guess I should just be thankful that they waited till the end.

  Eris sat down on the vacant side to my right, offering me popcorn.

  I took some and toss it to my mouth. Cheese popcorn is just the best. "Is this you still watching me?" I said.

  "It's the only seat left," she simply said. Which is true. After all, there are only enough for all the haunteds.

  I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder. Finally, I was able to sink into my comfy seat. Now I can focus on the movie and hopefully gain insights on time travel.

  So to summarize, it's about a guy whose girl got stabbed in a mugging and he made a time machine to go back in time and save his girlfriend. But he ended up going back in time over and over again because his girl kept dying no matter what he did. Eventually, something went wrong and he traveled forward 800,000 in time. All ended well, he beat the bad guys, met a new girl, and started a family with her. His time machine was gone so he was stuck there. And yet, he was happy. He found a new life. A second chance.

  I saw arms outstretched up in the air in front of me as the movie rolled the credits. The movie was supposed to give me pointers on how time travel works and specifically, how to get back to one's original timeline.

  But sitting down one of the recliners, next to Eris and Demi, eating popcorn with them, only one thing popped in my mind: I don't want to go back. I want what the protagonist got. A new life.

  I grabbed a handful of the remaining popcorn from Eris' bucket and chewed. I winced in pain when I bit my lip. The next thing I know, I was thrown down to the ground, my ears ringing after a terrible explosion.

  When I blinked, I was surrounded by darkness. My ears were still ringing, but now they are also bombarded by the warbled cries of familiar voices. I hear my friends. Cana. Leo. The deep booming voice of Major Coleman. And the voice of someone who made the hairs on my arms stood up.

  "Vergil!" Reina shouted. "Can you hear us!?"

  "He's stirring up," Major Coleman said. "More grenades!"

  "Stop!" Cana pleaded. "You might hurt him."

  "It's a controlled explosion," Major Coleman said.

  While they argue above, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. The ringing in my ears threw my balance but at least I can see the details now. I was surrounded by earth. Above me, were more earth and thick roots. I looked down at my body. I was wearing my own clothes. The clothes I wore when I first jumped down this tree...

  The realization made my heart pump fast. I looked up and tried to open my mouth...

  "Vergil!" Cana said.

  When I blinked, I found Cana kneeling beside me. I looked around. I was lying down on the carpeted floor of the movie theater, my body crumpled on itself.

  "W-what...?" I muttered in confusion.

  "Hey," Cana said. "You okay? Can you stand up?"

  She offered her hand and I accepted. Standing up, I saw that the other haunteds were on us. The light was back on.

  "What happened?" Demi asked.

  I said the first lie that came up to me. "I fell off my chair."

  There was a light chuckle in the room.

  "How would you even fall off your chair?" Leo laughed.

  "I fell asleep, okay!?" I said in the most comical, bantering way I could but my lips wouldn't stop shaking.

  "Hey," Cana said. She placed a hand on my shoulder. She inches her face closer to mine. "You're shivering."

  I hugged my arms and started rubbing them. "It-it's gotten quite cold in here, doesn't it?" I lied, letting out a weak laugh.

  "Well, movie's done and it's almost lunch," Cana said. "So, come on."

  She turned around and headed towards the door with the others. Caprice volunteered to stay and shut down the computer.

  "What just happened?" I muttered to myself. My tongue touched where I bit my lip. It stung. It tastes of metal. I inspected it again with my finger. My finger came out with a tiny bit of blood.

  "You coming?" Cana said by the door.

  I hurried over. I decided to keep whatever happened to me to myself.

  I stopped in front of the grand staircase.

  "Hey," I said to Cana. "I gotta use the bathroom real quick."

  "Oh okay," Cana just said. Because who would suspect the need for a bathroom break? But instead of using the bathroom down here, I raced up the stairs, rounded the handrail on the second, and dashed into my room, immediately locking it once I was inside.

  I stepped back from the door, my heart beating fast. I waited for noises behind the door. Footsteps. Idle chat. Maybe a knock. Anything that will prove that there is someone outside, listening in. And therefore, knew about what I saw. I don't know why but I am convinced that they somehow knew all along what had happened to me. Have I become paranoid? Maybe. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was right so I kept quiet and continued listening.

  But a minute had passed. The only thing I hear behind the door is silence. There was some relief to that. But I was still agitated. I sat on my bed. My hands shaking.

  What the hell just happened? I thought.

  I heard their voices clearly. There was no way I could be mistaking them. It was Reina. And Cana. And Major Coleman. And Leo. And they were worried about me. They are waiting for me to come back.

  I saw my surroundings. And I recognized it. It was the very place I was trying to go back to all morning!

  But I couldn't. I tried it and I couldn't. Even with the chant or the prayer or whatever that was. I couldn't go back!

  But now all of a sudden, I could! Why now! Now that I've resigned myself to not being able to go back and be stuck here. Now that I've grown attached to the notion of starting over again, a new life. I was shown how worried Major Coleman and the rest are about me. How they are waiting for me to come back. The timing is just cruel.

  All these frustrations and confusions boiled up inside of me. It felt like I'm on the verge of breaking again. But I also couldn't scream and curse Azgarmoth because that would be loud. But I know these emotions will come gushing out one way or the other.

  So I buried myself in my pillow before the tears came out. I sobbed. But restricted myself to making the smallest noise as possible. Which makes it harder for my throat due to imposed limitations compared to sobbing freely.

  Spent and oh, so tired, I allowed myself to whisper one question: "Why now?"

  I closed my eyes in hopes that exhaustion would pull me to sleep but my tongue touched the spot on my inner lip I bit. I was forced to remember the preceding incident before I "got back" to the original timeline. I was eating popcorn when I bit myself. Suddenly, I was thrown to the ground.

  I stopped crying. Tired as I am, I propped myself up on the bed with my arms. One hand went inside my mouth to inspect the wound. When I checked my finger, it was clearer than I expected. I guess it stopped bleeding already.

  "Is it really that simple?"

  The thought popped in my head. I felt Cana's pen knife I pocketed earlier. I brought it out and revealed the hidden knife inside of it.

  My hands started shaking as I pointed its sharp edge towards me.

  I started breathing heavily.

  On three, I told myself.

  One

  I opened my mouth.

  Two

  I twisted my hand downward so that the knife is pointing towards the wound on my inner lip.

  Three

  With a final exhale, I closed my eyes and drove the knife down.