Turns out, Alissa had a plan. She switched settings on her bubble rifle and fired it at me. A large bubble came out and I dodged instinctively. She snarled at me “What are you doing!”

  I glared at her “You shot at me!” I pointed at the bubble floating past. She rolled her eyes and pointed her bubble rifle at herself and fired. The bubble engulfed her and lifted her into the air. She raised an eyebrow as she looked down on me from her bubble. I hated this world.

  I sighed and after considering maybe just making my way across the land mines manually again, then deciding against it. I turned to face the capricious woman and said “I am sorry, please shoot me.”

  She snorted at me and fired a regular round of those biting things. I yelped and pulled them off before glaring at her. “What?” She asked innocently, barely hiding her smirk. “You asked me to shoot you, just following orders, captain. Or do you prefer master? Maybe overlord? Personally, I think dunce serves you best.”

  I simply stare at her in disbelief for a moment before shaking my head. “Nope, That is it for the day, I am turning to town.” I turned and walked back around the lego castle and found the road I used to get here. The plastic carpet road went to a 2D village that actually popped up when you reached it. It liked to say “Now in Stereoscopic 3D!” When it did, I learned to mute that notification.

  I began walking down it, Alissa popped her bubble and rushed up to walk next to me. “So.. we are going back to town for supplies?”

  I turned my head and smirked. “No, actually, I am going to town to rest and you can go bother someone else. I almost preferred you as an enemy. Please go away.” I turned and continued walking.

  She stopped and was silent for a moment before calling out. “You.. but I’m…”

  “A pain in my ass” I said, the word ass being bleeped out like some damn censorship attempt.

  Silence filled the rest of the walk, she didn’t try to catch up. Good, she was really annoying.

  As I reached the town, it unfolded into 3D and I got the notification, but it was silent. Then a second notification popped up and said “Due to complaints, notification silence is now disabled.” I read it slowly in dawning horror. I tried to reach the setting, but before I could move it came.

  WELCOME TO PEEPS VILLAGE! NOW IN STEREOSCOPIC 3D!

  

  I cried a little and checked if my ears were bleeding. They weren’t and I sighed before dismissing the horror that was that notification.

  I made my way into town, and a young woman that at least looked around her thirties popped up from the carpet like a 2D puppet. She then expanded until she was in a 3D form and turned to face me. “Welcome back! Did you stop the horrible Tardriss army from conquering our small village?” She asked hopefully.

  I sighed before shaking my head. “No, not yet, I just need some time to plan. Their defenses are..” My mind returned to the mines and the dragon. “very strong.” I ended weakly.

  She nodded in understanding. “I am not worried! No one is! The hero can save us all!” She said excitedly before turning and walking off.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  “wow, she seems very.. 2D.” Alissa said from behind me, causing me to jump in shock and twirl to see her standing there looking past me.

  I raised an eyebrow and turned to walk away. She grabbed my hand and said “Wait! Can we.. talk?”

  I considered telling her to fuck off. But after a moment I sighed and nodded for her to respond. She opened her mouth to talk when another figure rushed up to me and fell to her knees. “There you are, master! I have done as you requested and your home is ready.”

  I felt Alissa’s hand tighten and I turned to see rage in her eyes. “Is.. is this the same skill you tried to use on me? Is that why you have been bossing me around!?”

  I paled slightly and tried to pull my hand away but she gripped tighter. “Now, wait a minute. This is not how it looks! Sarah is not brainwashed I swear!” I tried to get out, but Alissa’s hand tightened further and I felt my knuckles begin to burn. Oh no.. not another respawn.

  Suddenly Alissa’s hand loosened as Sarah tackled her to the ground. Alissa looked shocked, Sarah looked venomous and began punching Alissa.. which did all of nothing because Sarah was like level three and Alissa thirteen.

  Alissa just sat there getting punched in stunned silence. Not even looking at her, just staring at me like I had just betrayed her on a cosmic level. “How is this my fault!” I cried out. “She was just defending me! That’s how NPC’s act around here!”

  Her response was to slowly reach up and grab Sarah’s wrist and stand up, lifting Sarah like a deer as she did. She turned and looked me dead in the eyes. Her face was a mask of rage before she took a deep breath and spoke quietly. “How many?”

  I paused and looked at her puzzled before asking. “How many?”

  She simply looked at Sarah, then at me. “How many”

  “oh..” I said as I considered. Technically, I had literally only gotten the skill recently, and I actually had not used it on Sarah. But clearly Alissa thinks I did. So she must be talking about how many times I have used my skill. “Two, including you.” I said sheepishly.

  Alissa looked at Sarah for a moment and suddenly seemed much calmer. Then she tossed Sarah gently like she was flicking her nails and looked over at me. “I accept her as long as she gets stronger. She won’t hold up as a mistress.”

  I paused as my brain calibrated her words. “mistress..” I managed to choke out.

  “That works for me, I am more than happy to be at any level as long as I serve my master!” Sarah said confidently. My eye twitched.

  “Excellent, then we agreed. Now we just need one more. I have a best friend, you can use your skill on her and we will have a third.

  She was my second in command, she will make an excellent second!” Alissa said matter of factly before pointing at Sarah and stating “Now then Mistress Sarah, please take us home.”

  Sarah looked at me and I just sighed and nodded. She stood with a bow to us both before turning and heading towards the house.

  Alissa marched happily beside me. How has this gone from a nice relaxing day in my stupid pop up house to this? I only have one comfort zone..”

  “So, about pleasing our husband. I do believe threesomes are in order. He mentioned being into them, also, what's our made by date? He clearly cares when we were factory made.” Alissa asked curiously. I facepalmed hard.

  Sarah paused, then reached for the plastic tag on her neck.. yes there was a plastic tag on her neck, she was a doll.

  She couldn’t reach it, so Alissa grabbed it, and pulled it close to her, dragging Alissa, who just rag dolled like a.. well a her I guess?

  “Hmm” Alissa said uncertainly. “You might be too old, it says here nineteen ninety eight. And in a place called ‘Peeps Village’. Where even is that?”

  I sighed “Alissa, we are in Peeps village. This place, my home. It's here. She was.. created.. here. I wanted to comment about being too old, since as a human I had been born in the 90’s myself.

  Then I considered the fact I would be defending a rag doll, to an action figure. Both of which I had done things too naked. So, instead I just commented on where we were.

  “Really?” She asked curiously as she looked around at the popup buildings before letting go of Sarah’s tag. Sarah flopped on the ground for a moment before getting up and continuing towards my home… At least it was my home. Now it's a house I live in.

  I wish we made it there. Because instead, the ground shook and all the buildings collapsed into 2D. I stared around in confusion before seeing something that made my blood curdle slightly.

  On the road into town, the one I had just walked. Was a small army, clearly from the Tardriss Kingdom.

  They had a tank. It was one of those build it yourself models made of plastic. A large bulky man with a fake cigar in his mouth and wearing sunglasses stood on it and seemed to be calling out orders.