Trix could be quite convincing. So, I picked Data Pirate. Though, truth be told, I didn’t feel much like a Data Pirate. Then again, I didn’t feel like a Bruiser either. I felt lost and scared.

  “Okay, now we need to talk about our survival strategy,” said Trix.

  I already felt weird about what I’d done to Jagger and to his crew.

  Trix waved a hand in front of me. “Uh, hey. Are you listening?”

  I wondered many people I would have to kill to get out of this quadrant?

  “You are really spacing out. You’re not still on Z are you?”

  Was my street rat life so important that it merited going on a killing spree just to keep going?

  TRIX: “Wiiiiilllll!!!

  WILL: I’m here, I was just doing some hard thinking, and—

  TRIX: Hard thinking? I’ve seen your intelligence stat. Look, we’ve gotta start moving before nightfall.

  WILL: Oh, no. That’s a myth. It’s usually safer in the city at night. Less cars, the air is cleaner. Hardly anyone’s around.

  TRIX: This place might look the same, but it is not the same. Trust me, you do not want to be out at night. Oh, and you should open your loot boxes. You should always open those immediately.

  WILL: I thought we agreed we weren’t going to talk internally like this.

  TRIX: We did, and then you totally checked out and stopped listening to me. So, now we’re talking this way.

  WILL: Oh, right.

  TRIX: But this is so much better. If you miss something, you can go back and read it again.

  WILL: It still feels weird talking to this way.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  TRIX: You’re just going to have to get used to it. Now open those boxes, William!

  I had three boxes to open. I’d turned off achievement notifications, and had missed one.

  New achievement unlocked! You joined a party! Hey, maybe you’re not as big of a fool as everyone thinks!

  Reward: Joining a party is its own reward, but to reinforce that you’re in one of B. F. Skinner’s boxes, here’s a loot box—a box within a Skinner box, isn’t that cute?

  You received a Silver Loot Box!

  The game system, whoever or whatever it was, sounded like someone that needed punching. I pushed away all my worries for a moment and concentrated on my loot boxes. I had an unboxing worthy of an Olympic podium: bronze, silver, and gold. The bronze box was a weapon’s box. Inside was a miniature baseball bat, a Louisville Slugger, just like mine, but dinky. I had an urge to fling it, but dropped it in my inventory instead. Next up was a silver loot box. Inside were two lesser heal potions. I checked my health meter and was surprised to see that it had started creeping up all by itself ever since I’d selected the Data Pirate class. I wondered if that was a benefit of having any class or specifically this one. No time to figure that out now. I downed one of the lesser heal potions and my health meter went up the barest notch. The third box, the golden one, had a smooth black ring in it. Despite my feelings about game descriptions, I read up on it.

  The Ring of the Dark Technocrat’s Heart. Made of black diamond and the ruined soul of a tech billionaire, wearing it gives the owner a -2 to a stat of his choosing, increasing by -1 each level and the ability, once per day (+1 per level gained), to Snoop within the interface of any NPC. Be warned, once a tech billionaire, always a tech billionaire. Translation: You slip this baby on, it ain’t coming off.

  TRIX: Well darn.

  Trix was watching my screen. I’d noticed that when she was in there, the eyes on her portrait turned blue.

  WILL: I can’t wear this, right?

  TRIX: Correct, but you also can’t not wear it. You’re a data pirate, dude. The system just gave you a top tier data pirate skill.

  WILL: At a crippling penalty. If I applied this to constitution, I’d be dead the next time I stubbed a toe. And if I put it on intelligence—what then? Did you see how it scales?

  TRIX: Yeah, it’s rough, but it’s not as bad as you think. You get +2 stat points each level. This eats one of them, but what you get back is worth it. You’ve got that boost to charisma from the friendship bracelet. Just choose charisma as the stat that takes a hit and burn one of your stats on charisma each level.

  WILL: You’re sure?

  TRIX: Not completely. Nothing is sure here. But with a ring like that sitting around in your inventory, it’s only a matter of time before you get it out and slip it on. Might as well rip off the bandaid and start using that Snoop skill.

  She had impenetrable logic. As soon as I’d seen that perfectly dark band, it had wrapped itself around my mind. Might as well put it around my finger too. I slipped it on, selected charisma as the stat that it would leech, and the smooth diamond kissed gently against my skin—and held.