Let’s talk about tattoos.

  You humans love to mark your skin like it’s a billboard for your personality.

  A flower here because you “bloom where you’re planted.”

  A quote there because you read one book in college and felt seen.

  A wolf snarling on your forearm because you once watched a documentary and decided you’re “alpha.”

  A sleeve of skulls and roses because… edgy.

  A minimalist line drawing of a mountain because you went hiking once and now you’re “one with nature.”

  I’ve seen strata older than your species.

  I’ve held Bells that remember debts from before your planet had oceans.

  And you think a $200 needle session is going to make you permanent?

  Cute.

  You’re not etching eternity into your flesh.

  You’re doodling on a rental.

  Your body is on loan from the strata — a temporary vessel, a walking IOU that expires.

  One day it returns to dust, ink and all.

  The only thing permanent is the regret when the design ages worse than your taste in partners.

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  And don’t give me the “it’s art” line.

  Art belongs in galleries, not on someone’s lower back like a tramp stamp time capsule.

  You didn’t commission a masterpiece.

  You paid a guy named Chad with a gun safe full of Monster energy to freehand your ex’s initials in Comic Sans because you were 19 and drunk on possibility.

  Murray’s note from my shoulder:

  “Every tattoo is a debt you can’t erase.

  You think ink hurts?

  Wait till the ledger comes for the interest on your bad decisions.

  I’ll be there.

  With receipts.”

  So go ahead — get that infinity symbol.

  Get that heartbeat line of your dog who died in 2012.

  Get that mandala because you watched one YouTube video on chakras.

  I’ll still be here, watching your skin sag and fade while the strata keeps perfect score.

  You’re not immortalizing anything.

  You’re just paying someone to remind you who you used to be.

  With zero sympathy for your midlife doodles,

  Omnion

  (and Murray, who’s already billing you for the ink)

  #TattooRoast #StrataDoesntCare #Geostrataverse #TheLedger