I was a bit confused as to why Abby said she had to take care of something and would be back in a short while as soon as we got to my pce. She hadn’t mentioned anything about that while we were at school—or maybe she did, but I was barely conscious throughout most of the day. Nevertheless, that still annoyed me slightly. It’s not like we have all that much time to spend together until she has to go home. I could also have gone with her. Then again, it’s my fault for not telling Abby that I’d prefer to tag along. I slept for most of the day, so I was mostly fine now. A slight headache, but nothing too bad. Certainly nothing that prohibited me from walking outside with her.

  “Haah, you’re being moody. Stop being moody.”

  “Meow?”

  “Oh, hi Oliver. What’s up?”

  He came from the living room to rub himself against my ankles before stepping away and looking back at me, letting out another meow.

  “You want me to follow? Sure, I guess.”

  “Meow.”

  Haah, if only I was more like him. Not as demanding as him, but knowing full well what I want and not being apologetic about it. Maybe that way I wouldn’t be in this situation.

  I opened the door for him and stepped outside into the back of the house. It was shaded and noticeably cooler than inside. No wonder that’s where Oliver wanted to go. Not only that, he was also staring at me and the bowl he used as his own pool, waiting for me to fill it up with water so he could have a dip. It was a nice idea, and I’d join him if we had one I could fit in. My feet would have to suffice.

  “…”

  Oliver was now quiet in the water, his small cheeky head resting on the rim with semi-closed eyes and ears zily leaning to each side while I sat by him on a folding chair, barefooted and with my shirt untucked and unbuttoned down to my bra line, tie haphazardly loosened up.

  “…Yup, I hate this.”

  I know I was the first voicing it. I think it made me hate it even more. I knew I’d hate it, but I still went ahead. All because I want to be a “good girlfriend” to Abby. Would Abby have suggested us acting more… “normal” and spend less time together until she could patch things up with Sophie? Was this even necessary? Maybe we could have simply ignored her.

  “Haah, no. You know full well that’s not how things work.”

  How could we act like we normally do when there’s someone uncomfortable around. One thing is a stranger, but it’s Abby’s sister we are talking about. She was family, and a very important person in Abby’s live. Sophie was the one source of care and attention she had before she had to go to university and I came along. It wasn’t fair of me to be thinking like this. I’d just have to endure it for a little longer.

  “…A bit longer, but… how long…?”

  That was all up to Abby’s and Sophie’s efforts and intentions. All I could do is endure and support my girlfriend through this hard time of her life.

  “…What if Sophie finds a job and moves out?”

  Then, Abby and I could go back to the way we were before, but if things didn’t get fixed until then… would they ever get fixed? Was there anything I could do to help? Not likely. I don’t think Sophie has a reason to be cordial towards me. Or even to be neutral. I confronted her and then I denied her from talking to her sister when she wanted to apologise.

  “…Wasn’t that apology enough anyway?”

  Apparently not. I could see why too.

  Both said hurtful things to each other but only Sophie said she was sorry, and that was months ago. She never got to hear Abby saying she forgave her, nor an apology out of Abby either. Abby still thinks Sophie might not be ok about our retionship and is scared it might be a source of conflict now that we are officially dating. Sophie on the other hand might still think that Abby is mad at her and—if she’s anything like Abby, too guilt-ridden to take the first step.

  “If only I hadn’t stepped up then…”

  Maybe then, the two sisters could have greeted each other with a smile. Maybe the two would have an easier time patching things up. Maybe Abby could reintroduce me as her girlfriend and things would be ok. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Too many “maybe”. I had these thoughts so many times already, always the same stuff, on repeat, making my head spin round and round.

  “…I really, really hate this…”

  ???

  There was something very wrong with Violet. Somehow, while I was away, her mood tanked considerably, and I couldn’t tell why, nor get an answer from her.

  “Are you annoyed that I took longer than I expected to come back?”

  “No Abby, I’m just tired,” she told me as she pced an arm around my shoulders to inch me closer to her and kiss my forehead. “Stop asking.”

  “Well… fine. But I know something is up with you,” I moaned as I nuzzled her shoulder.

  “Let’s just go back outside and dip our feet in water.”

  “But you haven’t even tried out the fan I got you!”

  “Later,” she told me, now tugging me away from our bedroom. “I’m boiling here.”

  “…You’re also looking very hot,” I said while peeking inside her unbuttoned shirt.

  “I am hot!”

  I ughed at her not getting my very obvious flirt, confusing her for a moment. Then, she let out a chuckle too and asked me not to tease her too much since it was so hot today and we didn’t have all that much time to do much of anything.

  So, we stepped outside, to where Oliver was marinating. He was looking more xed than usual, but something was missing…

  “Ah! I know!” I said once I got a good idea.

  I got my bag on my p and took out a notebook from which I removed a page. Violet told me not to damage my school supplies when they weren’t even used, but I ignored her. She’d likely find my idea funny anyway.

  “…A paper boat?” she asked once I was almost done folding the paper.

  “Nope, a hat.”

  “…For Oliver?” she asked, sounding a bit incredulous.

  “He’ll look cute, won’t he?” I asked with a giggle.

  She sighed but also leaned over to watch me pce the hat on our kitten. He didn’t even move, he just let out a purring sigh. It looked like he liked his new hat.

  Now yes, I could pay all my attention to my girlfriend. We’d both be feeling lonely once I went home, so we had to make it count.

  “Honey, I’m all sweaty,” she told me as I rested my face on her legs that I also hugged, having sat on the floor by her.

  “Like that ever stopped me,” I told her before giving her thigh a smooch.

  “Haah, yeah.” She said as she began patting my hair. “Why do I even open my mouth?”

  “To hear the voice of the girl you love so, so much, of course!”

  “Fufu! Right, right.”

  A familiar silence formed between us. Funny how that wasn’t uncomfortable at all despite us barely talking all day long. I had thought about yapping about this and that, but now? Now, I just wanted to stay like this, my hair being caressed as I rested my head on her leg and closed my eyes. Such a simple thing, but oh, so wonderfully sweet. It might be considered a lot of time, that little over half an hour we got to be like this, but it’d quickly come to an end and there was nothing we could do about it. Not today, and not us, me. All I had to do was start a conversation with my sister, but just thinking about it made my stomach twist and my chest clench. So, I wouldn’t think about it. Not when we had so little time left. It wasn’t even worth thinking about it now. There was a chance that I wouldn’t meet sis back at home. I heard her telling dad that she had to write a report about her internship too and that it’d be a lot of work and I didn’t want to cause her trouble.

  However… not cause sis trouble will cause Violet trouble…

  How long does it take to write a report of a three-month internship? I’m guessing that it’s a lot, even more so when part of her final grade depends on it, I think. Would a week be enough? Sis has always been a very hard worker, so maybe? Would Violet be able to endure that long? Was she thinking about this while I was away and got on a bad mood thinking about it?

  “…”

  “…Yes?”

  “Just checking on you.”

  “I feel better now, yes. Stop worrying so much about me.”

  And what? Let all the worrying for her? As if.

  “If anything happens, will you tell me?”

  “Yes Abby, I will,” she told me, sounding again like she was out of patience. “Stop fussing.”

  The more she told me not to, the more I fussed, but I didn’t want to spoil the mood any further by pressing on the subject.

  If she told me what was on her mind, even if I could do nothing about it, I at least knew what it was and she got it out of her chest.

  Since she won’t, I’ll just have to assume, keep those assumptions to myself, and act like I believe her, but for how long will that work? It sounds like we are walking towards a huge argument, but that can also be me being pessimistic.

  I’d try getting her to open up at a ter day. Just another conversation I was cowardly postponing. Hopefully I’d be brave enough not to postpone it too much like I’ve always done.

  Violet, Sophie… I’m so sorry for being so weak…

  ???

  I messed up, no doubts about it. I did the best I could, and it still wasn’t enough. It was clear as day when seeing Abby’s expression once she left. There was more to it than missing me already.

  I should have been more honest. That’s what she wanted, but I didn’t want to show her such an ugly side of me. I’m well aware that I’m possessive of Abby. I easily get annoyed if something happens and I can’t be with her. Jealousy, you might call it. I had grown and learned to keep those feelings in check. Now I had to learn to deal with circumstances stopping us from being together twenty-four/seven.

  I need to do better. To be better.

  I need to push aside these feelings of wanting to tell her that I don’t want to be apart from her. That I’d be ok if we could stay together a few days in the week and not just a few hours on weekdays and maybe a whole day on the weekend.

  “It’s ok Violet… This is just the first day, of course it’s going to be the hardest…” I thought.

  I was used to the feelings of loneliness—or rather, I had been numb to them, in the past. Abby took away that resistance, and now, I was dealing with the consequences of having let myself become so accustomed to her.

  “You’re already missing her, huh?” My dad asked me as we both sat in the living room after we had dinner. “You’ve been looking sad all day and immediately hugged a pillow as soon as you sat down.”

  “…I know it’s not the same, but… haah, no. Never mind.”

  “…I’d be lying if I told you that you haven’t grown too dependent on having Abby around, but I’d also being neglecting the fact that she was your first friend and is also your first girlfriend. You’re also still just a kid, even if a mature one in many other regards.”

  I looked at him, annoyed that he wasn’t holding back the truth. He could at least take my feelings a bit more into consideration, couldn’t he?

  “You two can always give each other a call like you did after that whole mess in December.”

  “…I guess,” I mumbled as I folded my body around the pillow.

  My dad smiled at me and leaned over from his chair to pce a hand on my shoulder. With the same smile he asked if love wasn’t a bitch. I reminded dad of him having called me a kid just a second ago and asked if he should be using that kind of nguage if that was the case.

  He simply ughed me off as he reclined back, the way he was annoying me helping dull out how much I was missing Abby.

  He was right about giving Abby a call, but… what if I gave her a call and interrupted a conversation between her and Sophie? What if I interrupted her right in the moment she gathered the courage to initiate one? What if they were having a good conversation and then Abby’s phone rang out and Sophie saw it was me, ruining any good mood between them? It was too risky. Even if tomorrow I ask Abby if it had been ok to call her and she says that it had, I’d still prefer not to risk it.

  Abby would be happy if I called her, and so would I, but the risk was too much, and I wouldn’t risk it just to spare my feelings.

  I had to grow accustomed to this new arrangement in my life sooner or ter.

  AnnouncementMy bike lives again, yay!

  And on a more relevant note, I finally prepared my store on Patreon! There, you can find my published works priced at 3,80 instead of the 4,50 from Amazon, and if you're an Apple user, worry not, you're still paying the 3,80 because I found it dumb to make you shoulder the extra cost when compared with others just because you chose to use a different PC/Smartphone than everyone else. I understand why someone would choose otherwise, but for me, it's too much "anti-consumer". I like money, but I like peace of mind more.

  Here's the link: /JasaNull/shop

  Finally, during the weekend, I'll stream on discord (click here!) my attempt at finishing the town I've been working during my off-time on minecraft.

  That is all, I hope everyone had a great week, will have a great weekend, and a great time until next chapter upload.