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138 — Mother and Daughter

  Mia's POV:

  Mia stopped.

  Her back was to her mother, but she could feel Eun Ha's eyes on her.

  Her mother wanted to do her nails.

  Mia remembered afternoons like that. The sharp smell of polish. Eun Ha's gentle grip as she hummed a tune. They used to talk about everything. School. Friends. Stupid celebrity gossip. Now, all she could think about was whether Jae-il liked red or pink on her nails.

  Red. Definitely red.

  It'd look good against his sheets.

  Like blood on his bed.

  Her own mother probably wouldn't like such a morbid image.

  Mia had never been as close to anyone as Jae-il. Su Ah too, to a more distant degree, but Jae-il had always been her closest and oldest confidant, as strange as it seemed considering his age and gender. She could only hope that their mother would never truly find out and suspect a retionship that couldn't, under any circumstance, exist.

  "Sure, mom." Mia's smile was radiant. "I like the sound of that."

  If there was ever a chance Eun Ha was on to something, the st thing Mia would ever show was her distressing ck of enthusiasm about a supposed romantic prospect, and certainly not a distressing ck of enthusiasm towards Jae-il, given Mia would practically snap at anybody who spoke a negative word or showed an ounce of interest for him.

  She turned around, and as soon as she did, she saw her mother's eyes light up in what looked like genuine happiness. And this, for some reason, made Mia feel like a massive, irredeemable piece of shit. She hated herself for feeling so protective over what she and her brother had.

  Then again, could she truly help herself? Could she just stop? Could she just rewind and undo the irreversible? Not only the sex, but the feelings? The thoughts? The urges? No. Like hell she could. Wouldn't even attempt to; the thought itself was terrifying. Even more terrifying than Eun Ha catching them in fgrante delicto.

  Eun Ha returned the smile, this one less hesitant and tremulous than the others, and said. "That's lovely to hear, dear. Wait for me in the living room, I'll go fetch the nail polishes from the cabinet. I have so many things I don't use anymore."

  As the mother disappeared up the staircase to her bedroom, Mia closed her eyes, feeling exhaustion wear her down. It was an uphill battle trying to keep appearances. As much as she'd enjoy spending quality time with her mother, the older woman also made her terribly suspicious, given her prodding had been highly peculiar.

  She heard the less than family-friendly conversations Mia had been having with Jae-il over the phone. How could her mother pretend it was simply an innocent little chat with a nameless friend when it so obviously wasn't? Maybe the thought that it could've been Jae-il was so ridiculous for Eun Ha that she didn't acknowledge its pusibility.

  But then again, if she knew it was him, they wouldn't be having a normal conversation like that. At best, she'd be trying to permanently bar Mia from communicating with her own brother, or at worst... who knew. Mia sighed. What she needed to focus on was getting better at lying or making it seem convincing enough that it did not raise the warning fgs in her mother's mind.

  She made herself comfortable on the couch, spread her arms and legs wide across the plush leather and tried her best to look completely, entirely unsuspecting. Which wasn't a difficult endeavor considering how good a couch potato she could be.

  Five minutes went by.

  Eun Ha came scrambling down the stairs, carrying at least two dozen gss bottles that rattled with the momentum. They were all stacked against her chest, haphazard and messy and oh-so-Eun Ha. Mia was immediately filled with an odd rush of warmth as she watched the woman pce all those little containers down, each one pced at its proper position like it mattered.

  Yeah...

  She had been so focused on Jae-il tely that she was losing sight of her roots. She had completely forgotten what it felt like spending some idle time with her mother. She had almost completely abandoned any sort of good will towards Su Ah. Weren't they quite close, once upon a time? As if being in a retionship made one automatically change and become hostile with whoever wasn't involved in such.

  This retionship in particur, Mia noticed, made her suspicious over the simplest of things. It changed her behavior, how she spoke with other people. It put her on edge even when she was certain her secret was safe from outsiders. This sort of anxiety was one she could have done without.

  Then there was the issue with Su Ah and Jae-il

  At least...

  At least her mother wasn't involved in this shitfest. Could you even imagine?

  Having a kid do... stuff to their own mother? Or the opposite, having the mother want to do stuff to her own son?

  It was a big, gaping, fming fucking chasm into Hell.

  ... and here was Mia, sagging happily on the couch at the idea of having a nails-night-in with the woman whose golden child, the beautiful pup, the prodigity of the household, was engaging in pure deviancy with his own older sister? Yes, those nails Eun Ha would apply that beautiful crimson polish on, were the very same ones that had been around Jae-il's cock, that scooped up that incestous seed she hadn't managed to swallow, and brought ti to her lips.

  She couldn't even begin to tell where exactly it'd began, that deconstruction of the moral fiber of the family.

  "So, dear, which color would you like?"

  "Ummh, I think this red right here is nice. Sort of sparkly, eh?"

  Mia said, pointing at her choice. Her voice was surprisingly hoarse and rough and she cleared her throat.

  Eun Ha followed Mia's line of sight, her purple eyes darting towards the gss container her finger indicated, then taking it.

  "Why not?"

  She dabbed a cotton pad in the remover liquid and started to thoroughly disinfect the nail base of Mia's fingers. She was tender.

  She had always been.

  Mia leaned into her mother's touch.

  "I really missed this..." Eun Ha said, grabbing each one of Mia's digits, with utmost care, and methodically wiping at the previous polish in soft movements.

  Mia raised a questioning eyebrow, half-smiling.

  "... me too."

  Eun Ha's smile widened a fraction. The woman's hair was in a zy bun, a clear indicator she was going to stay at home and not give a single fuck about appearances for the rest of the night. Mia still believed the woman pulled off that look way too well. A purple nightgown that matched well with the color of her eyes, and Jae-il's.

  Having such a combination under her eyes, it made it hard not to feel giddy inside. Mia closed her eyes, heaved a deep sigh, and then opened them.

  "Things have been a bit stifling in the house." Eun Ha commented, not looking into her daughter's eyes. She had moved the cotton pad to Mia's right hand now, taking care not to press down too hard. "It's nice doing something together. Makes me think how it should've been. Has everything been good to you at the campus? Don't forget about eating healthy and sleeping properly."

  "......"

  A pause.

  "There have been a lot of exams, so I might've... isoted myself. But the university life, the food, it's all good, mom. I'm having fun. The girls—well, the guys, they're... just so full of themselves? Thinking they own the pce?" She chuckled there. "Totally not like Jae—I mean, not like anyone I know."

  Eun Ha smiled, in that vague, evasive way of hers. Mia kept her right hand resting in her mother's open palm as her left hand fidgeted with the leather surface of the couch.

  "Well, that's part of university life, isn't it?" The older woman's expression softened a little more. "Oh, if only I could go back to those days..."

  Then something must've clicked in Eun Ha's head, because her expression abruptly shifted as she ughed in embarrassment and corrected herself.

  "Of course, I'd have taken my studies more seriously."

  "Bet you'd have taken more opportunities to have fun, heh~"

  Eun Ha sputtered, blushing. "I-I wouldn't say that! Being a proper student is the right way to go!"

  "Sure, sure~" Mia waved a hand in a careless manner. "Would you have still chosen dad? If you'd have known..."

  This, like a brick, finally got through her mother's rose-tinted gsses and hit the woman, as her expression changed to surprise, disbelief, and contemption, before settling back down on wistfulness.

  Eun Ha blinked quickly as she wrapped the newly coated nail, giving a satisfied, small sigh. Then she released her hand and gnced at her face, then focused on the bottle in the middle of all this mess.

  "Who knows..." She paused, her face slightly pinched. "Life is unpredictable. What you might think is a beautiful path turns out to lead somewhere you've never imagined."

  "Somewhere good or bad?"

  Eun Ha shrugged. "Just... somewhere you've never imagined. The point is, when something unexpected happens, you'll have to decide which path you will follow. Deciding in a timely manner and choosing the best option for everyone... well, it can get quite tiring. After a while. After all, it's safe to choose what you know rather than venture into uncharted territory."

  Mia stared at her mother, who appeared completely absorbed in her own world and did not dare disturb her as the older woman once again grasped her index finger and gently, lovingly massaged the red liquid onto Mia's nail. "For most women, it's safe to choose the reliable, smart guy with a stable, wealthy job over the handsome guy who's good with his words. There are quite a few variations. For example, if you were to ask a man, he'd probably choose the younger, sexy one over the mature woman."

  "What if you could get both?" Mia suddenly asked.

  Eun Ha blinked. "Both what?"

  "Both of the best worlds. Sexy as fuck and reliable. Wise, maybe. How about that? Highly successful and wealthy, why not?" Mia's tone was bright and cheeky. "And a dick for days. Like, totally beyond imagination."

  Eun Ha almost cut her finger clean off as she fumbled to find her grip.

  Mia wanted to snort.

  "I mean—" Eun Ha breathed out a slow exhale, obviously recovering from the sudden shock. "There has to be something he cks."

  Mia shrugged.

  Eun Ha shook her head. "Well, if you were to truly find someone like that, I'd say you're in for a tough time, dear." Eun Ha smiled, softly. "The road's going to be steep, bumpy, but if you ever decide to follow your heart... make sure he'll always keep it beating."

  Mia gulped. "Why? It'd be tough, I mean..."

  Eun Ha began polishing Mia's left thumb nail. The color came out an opulent, lush burgundy.

  "Holding onto someone like that won't be easy. Oh, not easy at all, dear." Eun Ha murmured, her focus on the brush strokes. "With those qualities... you'd have plenty of competition. Ruthless competition. Let's take your father for example. Your father wasn't the best-looking in his day—not unattractive, but not turning heads either. You understand?" At Mia's nod, she continued. "Even so, others pursued him. Why? He was presentable, intelligent, with connections that promised security. A future that was stable and predictable. He was a prize in the marriage market."

  "He was, back then, the safer choice. The one with the less bumpy road." Mia concluded.

  "Precisely. Now imagine someone who has all that—stability, wealth, intelligence—and also possesses a beauty that makes others stop and stare..." Eun Ha said, her own fingers halting as she seemed to be looking at something far away. "Such a person becomes a battlefield, dear. A trophy to be won. Everyone wants a piece. They'll lie, cheat, scheme. You won't be fighting for love alone; you'll be fighting a war. You'd need to be prepared to get your hands dirty. And your heart... it would be in constant danger of being colteral damage. You could get badly hurt pursuing such a person."

  "......"

  Seeing the look on Mia's face, Eun Ha's face softened slightly before it hardened again.

  "But once you have him... hold onto him tight. Don't let him go. And for him to not be intimidated, you'll need to put a chain around his neck. Even a simple rope won't do." Such surprising words coming out of Eun Ha; the innocent mother, always loving and sunny. Now she was speaking with a glow in her eyes that painfully reminded Mia of her own. "Even less outstanding men can't resist pretty things that get thrust in their faces. Make sure you don't neglect what's yours."

  Mia gulped again.

  A droplet of sweat ran down her temple. She nodded her head with vigorous intent and determination.

  "You have to set yourself above them in every aspect that's relevant. And keep your sanity. Always remember that his value is higher than you can even estimate... of course, you shouldn't become a sve either." Eun Ha smiled, brightly this time. "Remember. Your wants and desires matters just as much, dear."

  The older woman caressed the side of Mia's face.

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